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 Grav
Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 4,454
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 Fear 
#898936 - 09/22/02 09:02 AM (21 years, 6 months ago) |
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Last night I ran into a social situation that yanked some old fear and anxiety out from the back of my head. A feeling I hadnt felt in awhile. I used to have extreme social anxiety.
I don't mean I was actually 'scared', but I was unable to think straight and just battered with anxiety, in which I was unable to relax.
Anyways, I did make myself relax, and chilled out and rolled up a joint. Then I began thinking how 'real' those nervous feelings had felt. Like i was directly confronted with a part of me maybe I had choosen to forget. It was like a learning experience, a challenge.
But I was feeling weird for the rest of the night, even after i left the apartment... all my comfort zones were blown.
i feel like i may have overcome something i had never even attempted before.
do you guys feel like you learn the most about yourself when your shaken up like this?
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Larrythescaryrex
teardrop on the fire
Registered: 07/19/00
Posts: 11,004
Loc: further down the spiral
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 Re: Fear [Re: Grav]
#898940 - 09/22/02 09:05 AM (21 years, 6 months ago) |
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I reckon
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RIP Acidic_Sloth
Sunset_Mission said:
"larry the scary rex
verily scary when thoroughly vexed
invoke the shadows and dust, cast a hex
mercifully massacring memories masterfully
relocate from Ur to 8th density and become a cosmic bully
mulder and scully couldn't decipher his glyphs
invoke the shadows and dust, smoke infernal spliffs"
April 24th 2011
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Adamist
ℚṲℰϟ✞ЇѺℵ ℛ∃Åʟḯ†У
Registered: 11/23/01
Posts: 10,211
Loc: Bloomington, IN
Last seen: 9 years, 1 month
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Re: Fear [Re: Grav]
#898952 - 09/22/02 09:11 AM (21 years, 6 months ago) |
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A similar thing happened to me last night....weird.
I felt "shaken up", or discombobulated... but it also felt like I had overcome it, and survived, and that made it worth it somehow. *shrugs*
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 { { { ṧ◎ηḯ¢ αʟ¢ℌ℮мƴ } } }
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Unity333
addict
Registered: 08/26/01
Posts: 685
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 Re: Fear [Re: Grav]
#898961 - 09/22/02 09:18 AM (21 years, 6 months ago) |
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BIg hugggggg... You are ok..
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Grav
Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 4,454
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
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Re: Fear [Re: Adamist]
#899167 - 09/22/02 11:45 AM (21 years, 6 months ago) |
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it made me feel more alive, and down to earh at the same time.. accepting what was out in front of me, and not being afraid of it.
in the past ive escaped situations like these by turning to illusions of superiority (enlightenment) which only led to more and more confusion. in essence just lying to yourself to make yourself feel better.
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ChubbSubb
Zen Lunatic
Registered: 06/03/02
Posts: 612
Loc: Here.
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Re: Fear [Re: Grav]
#899219 - 09/22/02 12:09 PM (21 years, 6 months ago) |
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"I'm getting the fear"
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Those who know do not speak.
Those who speak do not know.
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 dee_N_ae
\/\/¡†¢h |-|øµ§³ ¢å†
Registered: 08/16/02
Posts: 2,473
Loc: The Shadow of Neptune
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reminds me of a sample i once heard..
"...not fear...fear is the mind killer"
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Revelation
ॐ
Registered: 08/04/01
Posts: 6,135
Loc: heart cave
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Re: Fear [Re: Grav]
#899372 - 09/22/02 01:47 PM (21 years, 6 months ago) |
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Talking about overcoming anxieties...for the past couple of weeks i've been able to smoke mj without going into hyper space. I don't know what happened, but it's so much better now. Maybe my mind has just become more calm, but I don't know how.
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Albino_Jesus
Clearly Retarded
Registered: 09/14/02
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Loc: Construction ahead...
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wtf is hyperspace?
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The only difference between the Republican and Democratic parties is the velocities with which their knees hit the floor when corporations knock on their door.
-Ralph Nader
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Revelation
ॐ
Registered: 08/04/01
Posts: 6,135
Loc: heart cave
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Well..I just mean without zoning out and getting deeply lost in my thoughts.
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Adamist
ℚṲℰϟ✞ЇѺℵ ℛ∃Åʟḯ†У
Registered: 11/23/01
Posts: 10,211
Loc: Bloomington, IN
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Yeah I know exactly what you mean...
Alot of times when I'm high around certain people, it seems like I retract into myself, getting lost in my own thoughts... even when someone asks me a question I can barely acknowledge them.
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{ { { ṧ◎ηḯ¢ αʟ¢ℌ℮мƴ } } }
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Chikhai
member
Registered: 05/01/02
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Loc: Florida
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Re: Fear [Re: Grav]
#899893 - 09/22/02 06:08 PM (21 years, 6 months ago) |
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How you felt that night is how I feel almost everyday, all day. I can't and won't smoke pot anymore because it makes me feel like I'm going insane. I don't let people get close to me, because all they do is fuck with my head, which I seriosuly need to set straight. I know that sounds like I've got this horrible defensiveness issue, and I very may well have one, but time and time again I've let my walls down to people who decided they'de get a kick out building me up and tearing me back down.
Somedays it seems as if the entire world is against me, like I'm really not supposed to be here. I think I spent a good deal of my childhood in denial of how I felt about things, and denial of all the shit that was happening around me.
Now if my fucking head would just slow the FUCK down.
Seriously, anyone have any advice on how to slow a racing brain? My brain has been racing for too long, and I'm having trouble keeping a train of thought going. It's like my brain has background noise that I want to shut the hell off... 
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"I see!" said the blind man to his deaf wife.
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Albino_Jesus
Clearly Retarded
Registered: 09/14/02
Posts: 1,698
Loc: Construction ahead...
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Re: Fear [Re: Chikhai]
#899913 - 09/22/02 06:19 PM (21 years, 6 months ago) |
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lole.
valium?
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The only difference between the Republican and Democratic parties is the velocities with which their knees hit the floor when corporations knock on their door.
-Ralph Nader
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Chikhai
member
Registered: 05/01/02
Posts: 110
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 21 years, 6 months
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Valiums are wonderful things, but 45 minutes later I feel just as nuts as before I ate them.
Sex is great too but afterwards I feel just as low and just as crazy...
Same thing with getting drunk, eating xanax, beans.. anything.
I'm just so tired of everything...
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"I see!" said the blind man to his deaf wife.
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Mojo_Risin
Man
Registered: 03/31/01
Posts: 2,838
Loc: United States of America ...
Last seen: 8 years, 2 months
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Re: Fear [Re: Chikhai]
#899950 - 09/22/02 06:34 PM (21 years, 6 months ago) |
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only the weak fear.
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Fear attracts energy that can expose one to be coerced. Learn to overcome fear and develop enlightenment.
Freedom Equality Justice (3 of 12 Jewels of Life)
Nov.11th Veterans Ron Paul Moneybomb...www.Ronpaul2012.com
Check out campaignforliberty.com
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Albino_Jesus
Clearly Retarded
Registered: 09/14/02
Posts: 1,698
Loc: Construction ahead...
Last seen: 14 years, 2 months
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In reply to:
only the weak fear
thanks for the encouragement.
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The only difference between the Republican and Democratic parties is the velocities with which their knees hit the floor when corporations knock on their door.
-Ralph Nader
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Chikhai
member
Registered: 05/01/02
Posts: 110
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 21 years, 6 months
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That's a pretty ignorant statement.
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"I see!" said the blind man to his deaf wife.
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Mojo_Risin
Man
Registered: 03/31/01
Posts: 2,838
Loc: United States of America ...
Last seen: 8 years, 2 months
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Re: Fear [Re: Chikhai]
#899974 - 09/22/02 06:46 PM (21 years, 6 months ago) |
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i don't think it is.
There are those who don't fear.
Fear is a sign of intelectual weakness.
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Fear attracts energy that can expose one to be coerced. Learn to overcome fear and develop enlightenment.
Freedom Equality Justice (3 of 12 Jewels of Life)
Nov.11th Veterans Ron Paul Moneybomb...www.Ronpaul2012.com
Check out campaignforliberty.com
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Albino_Jesus
Clearly Retarded
Registered: 09/14/02
Posts: 1,698
Loc: Construction ahead...
Last seen: 14 years, 2 months
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In reply to:
Fear is a sign of intelectual weakness.
without the emotion of fear our species and others wouldn't exist.
forcing yourself to overcome natural emotional states isn't a sign of intellectual "strength", or intellectual anything.
it's emotional.
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The only difference between the Republican and Democratic parties is the velocities with which their knees hit the floor when corporations knock on their door.
-Ralph Nader
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Adamist
ℚṲℰϟ✞ЇѺℵ ℛ∃Åʟḯ†У
Registered: 11/23/01
Posts: 10,211
Loc: Bloomington, IN
Last seen: 9 years, 1 month
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Re: Fear [Re: Chikhai]
#900054 - 09/22/02 07:15 PM (21 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Now if my fucking head would just slow the FUCK down.
I know what you mean... most people I know say that they can easily fall asleep when they are high, but for me, sleep is impossible, because my mind races so fast, I often feel like I'm going to "explode"...
Quote:
Seriously, anyone have any advice on how to slow a racing brain?
Sex is good if with the right person; try taking a bath or going in a pool, the free-floating sensations are very relaxing. (I avoid showers when high because the pelting of the water usually overwhelms my senses).
Also, try and hang around people you are very comforatble with... I've found that being high by myself or in large crowds is very different than being around one close friend who I'm totally comforatble being around...
Hope some of this helps. 
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{ { { ṧ◎ηḯ¢ αʟ¢ℌ℮мƴ } } }
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