Someone told me something very simple the other day and it clicked. it made so much sense... it seems like one of those things that you always knew, but for some reason it was now an obvious explanation for almost every bit of human interaction.
Just like the Golden rule "treat others how you wish to be treated"... it is looking at that statement from the other side: "People treat you how they want you to treat them".
It is most prominent in relationships, where one person is more attached than the other. The Beta will call and text everyday and want to know where the alpha is at, and tells the alpha they love them and want to spend time with them... because that is how they want to be treated.
Coming in a close second is sex... when people tell you to be an attentive lover, they dont mean do shit until they moan and say "oh yeah" and then repeat that action until numb... they mean watch what they do and mimic that accordingly. If she starts pulling your hair, that means she wants rougher sex. If he starts eating you out, it means he wants a blowjob.
I dont mean to get on another misogynist rant here, but frankly I cannot fully comment, from zero experience of dating guys, about men. Due to our social conditioning, we are all subject to social hierarchy... hell, we actively participate even if we are the bottom rung, and acknowledge it. I used to think that women acted a certain way solely because of their feminine logic. for example: I had watched "White Men Can't Jump" many times before and it was on a few nights ago, and I saw a scene in there in a way that I had never perceived it before. They are laying in bed, and she tells Woody that she is thirsty, so he gets up and fetches a glass of water, which shortly after she berates him about doing it and explains (in the feminine logic that is even unable to explain their own fucked up emotional mechanics) that she wants him to empathize with having a dry mouth. Until the last time I watched it, I had always figured she was just being an irrational bitch... but it was a shit test.
Quote: Women test men for all sorts of reasons, and it’s mostly an unconscious process. Attractive women have a lot of options, and prefer men who are STRONG OF CHARACTER. If you were an attractive woman being chased by hundreds of guys, how would you go about eliminating the losers? You’d TEST them, in subtle ways that test for strength and personality. If you did this on a regular enough basis, this behavior would become unconscious and automatic. Women will ALWAYS test you! Deal with it, learn how to handle it, and move on.
Because she wanted some sort of interaction, the best way that women have found, is by inciting some event, and the best way guys have found to cease that pointless interaction, is by removing all "logical" problems that might induce bitching (drama).
Fact: women want someone to dominate them this is why women will treat "the sweetest" guy like shit. This is why women stay with complete assholes.
I know that is nothing new or revolutionary, but it makes more sense when you realize what a shit test is, and how to pass them.
Quote: The purpose of a shit test isn’t to annoy a guy or test his patience. It’s not done to be negative. A chick, particularly a good looking one, has many guys throughout her life chasing her for attention. She must deploy mechanisms which quickly test a guy to judge his “worthiness”, to test his mettle. The most efficient way for her to do this is to spring forth what are seemingly crazy questions without real purpose or to act in a way which seems incomprehensible. This is different than chick logic in that shit testing has a purpose. That purpose is to separate the men from the boys. And not just ANY men, but men worthy of depositing their seed into her feminine form. :-) This may seem like an odd way of going about things but, you have to look at it from the woman’s perspective. If she were to simply tell a guy how he should act or what he should say in order for her arousal to continue or escalate, she has no way of determining if he’s responding in a natural way or in a way just to please her. That is why believing what a woman says in a conscious way versus what she reacts and responds to is never a good idea (if your idea is to seduce her). She has to deploy a means which tests a man’s natural state, and determine whether he is saying something just to please her (“just to get in her pants” = “indeterminate worthiness”) or if he his own man who is in control f himself. A man in control of himself is worthy to be in control of their continued interaction. A man who “fails” her shit test is not worthy of further interactions.
How do you pass these shit tests? almost always by completely ignoring them.
so to tie it all up... if someone in your relationship, be it social or sexual, is treating you a certain way, return the favor. If someone is subjugating you, start being a complete prick... the reason they are doing it, is because you are allowing it and they have no respect for your placating ways. conversely, if someone is being overly nice to you and is becoming obnoxiously friendly, just one up them on that.
sadly, our social mechanics are barely more complex than canines. Just watch a few shows of Ceasar Milan and the way he makes people unreactive instead of making the dog more obedient.
Then there is Kino... the art of seduction through comforting touch and unconsciously relating your touch to "feeling good". The premise is rather easy, but due to social parameters it isnt always so easy to just start pawing away at a person. men are just as susceptible to kino as women, but in a different way. Women enjoy compliments, and often it doesnt even have to be sincere... so everytime you compliment her, touch her. Basically, everytime something "happy" or "good" happens, find a way to touch her. eventually she will relate your touch to "feeling good".
so basically, humans reaction to interaction is very straightforward and mechanical with slight variations between the sexes. there are no "intuitive feelings" about someone, but mere manipulation of these rules to evoke that feeling in someone... be it on purpose or inadvertently. we have all been conditioned to emotionally react a certain way to any given situation involving social interaction.
THE END.
|