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The Golden rule and the mechanics of social interaction
    #8299761 -

Someone told me something very simple the other day and it clicked. it made so much sense... it seems like one of those things that you always knew, but for some reason it was now an obvious explanation for almost every bit of human interaction.

Just like the Golden rule "treat others how you wish to be treated"... it is looking at that statement from the other side: "People treat you how they want you to treat them".

It is most prominent in relationships, where one person is more attached than the other. The Beta will call and text everyday and want to know where the alpha is at, and tells the alpha they love them and want to spend time with them... because that is how they want to be treated.

Coming in a close second is sex... when people tell you to be an attentive lover, they dont mean do shit until they moan and say "oh yeah" and then repeat that action until numb... they mean watch what they do and mimic that accordingly. If she starts pulling your hair, that means she wants rougher sex. If he starts eating you out, it means he wants a blowjob.

I dont mean to get on another misogynist rant here, but frankly I cannot fully comment, from zero experience of dating guys, about men.
Due to our social conditioning, we are all subject to social hierarchy... hell, we actively participate even if we are the bottom rung, and acknowledge it.
I used to think that women acted a certain way solely because of their feminine logic.
for example: I had watched "White Men Can't Jump" many times before and it was on a few nights ago, and I saw a scene in there in a way that I had never perceived it before.
They are laying in bed, and she tells Woody that she is thirsty, so he gets up and fetches a glass of water, which shortly after she berates him about doing it and explains (in the feminine logic that is even unable to explain their own fucked up emotional mechanics) that she wants him to empathize with having a dry mouth.
Until the last time I watched it, I had always figured she was just being an irrational bitch... but it was a shit test.
Quote:
Women test men for all sorts of reasons, and it’s mostly an unconscious process. Attractive women have a lot of options, and prefer men who are STRONG OF CHARACTER. If you were an attractive woman being chased by hundreds of guys, how would you go about eliminating the losers? You’d TEST them, in subtle ways that test for strength and personality. If you did this on a regular enough basis, this behavior would become unconscious and automatic. Women will ALWAYS test you! Deal with it, learn how to handle it, and move on.


Because she wanted some sort of interaction, the best way that women have found, is by inciting some event, and the best way guys have found to cease that pointless interaction, is by removing all "logical" problems that might induce bitching (drama).

Fact: women want someone to dominate them
this is why women will treat "the sweetest" guy like shit.
This is why women stay with complete assholes.

I know that is nothing new or revolutionary, but it makes more sense when you realize what a shit test is, and how to pass them.

Quote:
The purpose of a shit test isn’t to annoy a guy or test his patience. It’s not done to be negative. A chick, particularly a good looking one, has many guys throughout her life chasing her for attention. She must deploy mechanisms which quickly test a guy to judge his “worthiness”, to test his mettle. The most efficient way for her to do this is to spring forth what are seemingly crazy questions without real purpose or to act in a way which seems incomprehensible. This is different than chick logic in that shit testing has a purpose. That purpose is to separate the men from the boys. And not just ANY men, but men worthy of depositing their seed into her feminine form. :-) This may seem like an odd way of going about things but, you have to look at it from the woman’s perspective. If she were to simply tell a guy how he should act or what he should say in order for her arousal to continue or escalate, she has no way of determining if he’s responding in a natural way or in a way just to please her. That is why believing what a woman says in a conscious way versus what she reacts and responds to is never a good idea (if your idea is to seduce her). She has to deploy a means which tests a man’s natural state, and determine whether he is saying something just to please her (“just to get in her pants” = “indeterminate worthiness”) or if he his own man who is in control f himself. A man in control of himself is worthy to be in control of their continued interaction. A man who “fails” her shit test is not worthy of further interactions.


How do you pass these shit tests? almost always by completely ignoring them.

so to tie it all up... if someone in your relationship, be it social or sexual, is treating you a certain way, return the favor. If someone is subjugating you, start being a complete prick... the reason they are doing it, is because you are allowing it and they have no respect for your placating ways.
conversely, if someone is being overly nice to you and is becoming obnoxiously friendly, just one up them on that.

sadly, our social mechanics are barely more complex than canines. Just watch a few shows of Ceasar Milan and the way he makes people unreactive instead of making the dog more obedient.

Then there is Kino... the art of seduction through comforting touch and unconsciously relating your touch to "feeling good". The premise is rather easy, but due to social parameters it isnt always so easy to just start pawing away at a person.
men are just as susceptible to kino as women, but in a different way.
Women enjoy compliments, and often it doesnt even have to be sincere... so everytime you compliment her, touch her. Basically, everytime something "happy" or "good" happens, find a way to touch her. eventually she will relate your touch to "feeling good".

so basically, humans reaction to interaction is very straightforward and mechanical with slight variations between the sexes.
there are no "intuitive feelings" about someone, but mere manipulation of these rules to evoke that feeling in someone... be it on purpose or inadvertently.
we have all been conditioned to emotionally react a certain way to any given situation involving social interaction.

THE END.

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Re: The Golden rule and the mechanics of social interaction [Re: SneezingPenis] * 1
    #8300304 -

Yawnging Anus.

I used to think a lot about the psychological aspects of social interaction. But I have recently given up. It seems a little retarded for me to try and understand how two people interact when I do not even know who I am.

Do you really want these thoughts to form your outlook on social relationships when you do not even fully understand them? I think for now you are much better off just following your heart/intuition than trying to form some philosophical outlook which you are going to apply to a phenomena that you do not fully understand.

*Just for the record. I think women do want a strong man, but not in the assholish sense that you mentioned. They want a man to be strong in the sense that he is comfortable in his own skin and is able to give himself fully to others. The women who mistake arrogance for confidence are just confused.

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Re: The Golden rule and the mechanics of social interaction [Re: SneezingPenis] * 1
    #8300586 -

I stopped reading after "alpha."

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Re: The Golden rule and the mechanics of social interaction [Re: appleorange]
    #8301380 -

appleorange said:
Yawnging Anus.

I used to think a lot about the psychological aspects of social interaction. But I have recently given up. It seems a little retarded for me to try and understand how two people interact when I do not even know who I am.


deep... why not just give up on anything that you do not fully understand?
Also, I do believe this is the P&S forum, not the Psychological evaluation of the OP forum. I posted this here because I wanted to discuss the topic, not me.
And if you want to go on with ad hominems and claiming I am delusional... fine, but back it up with discussion of your reasoning behind it.

Quote:
*Just for the record. I think women do want a strong man, but not in the assholish sense that you mentioned.


what is assholish about it? ignoring the petty, manipulative bullshit?

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Re: The Golden rule and the mechanics of social interaction [Re: SneezingPenis]
    #8301403 -

Wanting someone to treat you like you treat them IS a shit test in my opinion and is why this supposed golden rule is often ignored and is essentially "unwritten" for lack of better terminology.

But treating someone like you would want to be treated yourself, now that is a different story.


--------------------
Guess what?; You...


A spot of Sunshine: We are energy,... matter is energy that simply has been reduced to a crawl and condensed together to form something.

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Re: The Golden rule and the mechanics of social interaction [Re: SneezingPenis] * 1
    #8301406 -

My god, if I hear this "women don't want nice guys" bitchfest from one more person I'm going to go apeshit.

Nice guys can be plenty attractive to women. It just happens that there are a lot of guys out there who behave "nicely" because they are afraid of rejection, and it comes through rather clearly. It is boring and even often embarrassing to interact with a person who is constantly bending over backwards to please you and gain your favor, unless you get off on that sort of thing. This is true of social interaction regardless of genders involved.


--------------------
Enlil said:
You really are the worst kind of person.


Edited by Tchan909 (04/18/08 03:31 PM)

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Re: The Golden rule and the mechanics of social interaction [Re: MushmanTheManic]
    #8301423 -

MushmanTheManic said:
I stopped reading after "alpha."


are you saying that there is no dominance hierarchy in social situations?
sure, the term is cliche, but it gets the point across with more brevity.


so again, I will say that social interaction is completely mechanical and through years of conditioning the rules are firmly in place and instilled in every fiber of our emotional reactions.
getting rid of your knee jerk conditioned reactions is tough and is actually part of your persona... but once you realize this conditioning, and you see the rules, you can manipulate them in your favor.

going back to what I initially said "people treat you how they want you to treat them"... is much more apt than the standard Golden Rule, because people are driven by self preservation. People are first and foremost thinking about themselves... and even those that think they arent, are unconsciously participating in a passive aggressive type of communication to try and get what they want.

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Re: The Golden rule and the mechanics of social interaction [Re: SneezingPenis] * 1
    #8301441 -

Quote:
deep... why not just give up on anything that you do not fully understand?
Also, I do believe this is the P&S forum, not the Psychological evaluation of the OP forum. I posted this here because I wanted to discuss the topic, not me.
And if you want to go on with ad hominems and claiming I am delusional... fine, but back it up with discussion of your reasoning behind it.



You took me the wrong way. I wasn't calling you delusional. I wasn't calling you anything.

But I do think you are asking the wrong questions.

How can you make any philosophical argument about the nature of relationships when you do not even understand what the self is?

Quote:
what is assholish about it? ignoring the petty, manipulative bullshit?


Condescending your girlfriend, being arrogant, ignoring her, not being attentive. These things are "assholish". She deserves love as much as you do. Their is nothing petty about wanting to be loved.

Yawning Anus, what is your definition of love?

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Re: The Golden rule and the mechanics of social interaction [Re: SneezingPenis]
    #8301447 -

So you're just now discovering the seduction community?

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Re: The Golden rule and the mechanics of social interaction [Re: SneezingPenis] * 1
    #8301451 -

Ive found women definatley are drawn to the cocky type because they stand out more from the crowd, they say they want a nice guy but most of the time the nice guys aren't the sort to drop a pick up line, and generally women don't ask men out, so its the cocky men who ask them out. This is a huge generalisation though.

I used to be shy but now i seriously do not give a fuck, just make her laugh & you connect, laughter is incredibly powerful in a relationship, she will call you silly stupid & ridiculous but she will love you for it.

Also when i eat a girl out it is not because i want anything, apart from her pleasure of course.

In a relationship if the only way you can get the partner to be nice back is to treat them like shit then it is a very unhealthy relationship, reverse psychology should not be necessary, all that is needed is love, awareness & communication.

Relationships are so unhealthy because we go into them simply because they make us happy, then we depend on them exactly as they are in those first throws of love, only on these conditions can we feel love for the other person. The slightest thing changes, the slightest disagreement, and the love is gone! Is that even love?

I say get rid of this one who is dependent on conditions for happyness and the relationship will be amazing, you will mirror your partner, you will feel them in your belly and then you will be able to grant them whatever they wish from the relationship, irregardless if they are communicating them with you or not through spoken language. This builds up a huge concrete block of understanding, and the tantric energy between the two partners causes no friction, just ease of love. Love is easy, dependency is misery. If you are not there then your partner is there mirrored within you, im sure we've all felt this when we can read our partners mind, especially during sex where body language becomes easily interpreted intuition.

:peace:


--------------------

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Re: The Golden rule and the mechanics of social interaction [Re: SneezingPenis]
    #8301456 -

Quote: Thread starters last post

Why is there ignorance towards you anyways... fuckign people.

Anyways... stay on the internet long enough and you'll see how people use their (in my opinion, lacking of said)knowledge to their advantage in almost any given circumstance and it not only is hilarious but also aggrevating and sad. Ultimately, from my perspective, a reflection of what shite you are refering to. I hate social norms nowadays... even adults and young childrren
are slipping into the "underworld". :frown:

=,|


--------------------
Guess what?; You...


A spot of Sunshine: We are energy,... matter is energy that simply has been reduced to a crawl and condensed together to form something.

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Re: The Golden rule and the mechanics of social interaction [Re: SneezingPenis]
    #8301810 -

I know many Pick-up Artists and have personally met Neil Strauss. These people throw around the term "Alpha" and "Beta" so much that it has lost all meaning. Plus, I've actually studied ethology, so if someone uses the term incorrectly, I know... and it annoys me. I have heard dipshits saying things like "Thats so Alpha" for too long and watched guys with no money and no wife describing themselves as "Alphas."

When it comes to the seduction community, I'm quite jaded. :smile:

I'll read your post now.

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Re: The Golden rule and the mechanics of social interaction [Re: MushmanTheManic]
    #8301844 -

How did you end up meeting Neil?

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Re: The Golden rule and the mechanics of social interaction [Re: SneezingPenis]
    #8301853 -

The misogynistic stereotypes that are weaved in your original post makes it hard to understand what you're trying to say.

As far as "people treat you how they want you to treat them" goes, I highly doubt this. Do you think bullies want to be bullied themselves or that wife-abusers want to be abused? Your 'Golden Rule' may hold for some circumstances, but definitely not all.

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Re: The Golden rule and the mechanics of social interaction [Re: it stars saddam] * 1
    #8301880 -

A friend of mine, that became the [self-proclaimed] top Pick-up Artist in Chicago after his girlfriend of four years dumped him, got in touch with him. I ended up meeting him in Vegas on a random street while I was with this friend. All I did was shake his hand. I'm not particularly fond of him or the community he has spawned.

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Re: The Golden rule and the mechanics of social interaction [Re: it stars saddam]
    #8301889 -

Oh... and where the hell have you been?

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Re: The Golden rule and the mechanics of social interaction [Re: MushmanTheManic]
    #8302572 -

MushmanTheManic said:
The misogynistic stereotypes that are weaved in your original post makes it hard to understand what you're trying to say.

As far as "people treat you how they want you to treat them" goes, I highly doubt this. Do you think bullies want to be bullied themselves or that wife-abusers want to be abused? Your 'Golden Rule' may hold for some circumstances, but definitely not all.

What are you trying to say?


--------------------
Guess what?; You...


A spot of Sunshine: We are energy,... matter is energy that simply has been reduced to a crawl and condensed together to form something.

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Re: The Golden rule and the mechanics of social interaction [Re: appleorange]
    #8303380 -

appleorange said:
Quote:
deep... why not just give up on anything that you do not fully understand?
Also, I do believe this is the P&S forum, not the Psychological evaluation of the OP forum. I posted this here because I wanted to discuss the topic, not me.
And if you want to go on with ad hominems and claiming I am delusional... fine, but back it up with discussion of your reasoning behind it.



You took me the wrong way. I wasn't calling you delusional. I wasn't calling you anything.

But I do think you are asking the wrong questions.

How can you make any philosophical argument about the nature of relationships when you do not even understand what the self is?


is that an assumption of my character or a blanket statement about all humans?

Quote:
Quote:
what is assholish about it? ignoring the petty, manipulative bullshit?


Condescending your girlfriend, being arrogant, ignoring her, not being attentive. These things are "assholish". She deserves love as much as you do. Their is nothing petty about wanting to be loved.

Yawning Anus, what is your definition of love?



where have I said anything about condescension and arrogance? and did I not talk about being attentive... that is my whole point almost... being attentive.
Now maybe you can say that I should be attentive to her wellspring of emotional discharge, and I would say be attentive to how she acts in certain situations and moods...

my definition of love? when you care for someones wellbeing above your own.
in an honest sense... not in the sense of "I dont buy chinese products because of civil rights abuses". I mean when you would quietly choose pain, suffering, and abject misery just so that person can get a good nights sleep.

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Re: The Golden rule and the mechanics of social interaction [Re: MushmanTheManic]
    #8303407 -

MushmanTheManic said:
The misogynistic stereotypes that are weaved in your original post makes it hard to understand what you're trying to say.

As far as "people treat you how they want you to treat them" goes, I highly doubt this. Do you think bullies want to be bullied themselves or that wife-abusers want to be abused? Your 'Golden Rule' may hold for some circumstances, but definitely not all.


no, I dont think bullies want to be bullied, but do you think it is completely for a Schadenfreude hardon?
every action we make has some point to it... even if it is to show pointlessness.
what is the fatherly advice in every after school special when the kid comes home and tells that he is being bullied?
"son, you gotta stand up to him and he will leave you alone".
every interaction we have with another person is for reaction. be it telling a story, putting out your hand for a handshake, or punching them.

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Re: The Golden rule and the mechanics of social interaction [Re: SneezingPenis]
    #8303837 -

When i eat a girl out it doesnt mean i want a blow job? It means im warming her up before sex

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