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 SpecialEd
+ one
Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 6,220
Loc: : Gringo
Last seen: 9 years, 2 days
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 Social 
#2479338 - 03/27/04 09:19 PM (20 years, 24 days ago) |
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The other day I was chilling on campus, scavenging games of chess by setting a board out with my move already made (pawn b4!) while I read a book. I have found that you can meet a lot of people this way and get some good games.
Later that day, I was deep in thought and realized that I would only meet other pretentious people who think they are smarter than everyone else. I have often thought about the types of people that I am drawn to (and why I pursue relations with them), but this was the first time I ever understood how my behavior would draw like minded people.
It amazes me how much you can learn about someone after talking to them for a few minutes. In a short period of time, you can get a good idea about that person based on the way they talk, their body language, their clothes, and their facial expressions.
Many times my first impressions have been wrong, but I generally make decisions about people pretty quick. I have a pretty high filter that I thought was due to my introversion, mild shyness and desire for serious conversation. But I am now wondering if I put people off because I come off as a jerk or have an uneasy presence. I really liked the movie "Adaptation," because I have a lot of tense, uneasy moments like Nicholas Cage does in the film.
I considered all of my friends and realized that I socially interacted with people that were EXTREMELY similar to me. I was wondering if this was unhealthy or if I was missing anything from these practices. I was thinking about this thing called the RED PILL FORUM that frequented when I attended the University. It was a discussion group that debated topics much like these boards. But the people who showed up all felt the same way and there was little discussion because a consensus was reached within minutes. These forums are also similar in that sense. When I come here, I know what they attitude is going to be like, and I can usually predict what people's responses are going to be. It reminds me of the "Chicken and the Road" thing where you identify stereotypical paradigms. Do you miss out if you don't have friends with different attitudes and beliefs?
I was thinking about the kind of people that I approach in social situations. I can't really express what I want to about the image of people I approach, but it seems pretty predictable. Like if I see someone who appears as though they came out of an Old Navy commercial, I would automatically never have anything to do with them. Again, do you miss something with a filter like this.
I then tried to extrapolate what people must think of me. All of the time I get complete strangers asking me to for a ciggarrette (I don't smoke!) or asking me for a hookup (I don't sell drugs!). I have had a lot of experiences where people assumed I was dumb based on my appearance. People are suprised to find out that I listen to classical music or run distance.
I don't really have a point with any of this, it's just a topic that I think a lot about. Social practices are fascinating to me and I can marvel at the dynamics of groups of people for a long time.
Yeah, feel free to contribute anything loosely related to this, whether it be about personality, first impressions, social situations, the kind of people you attract and are attracted to, whatever. I get the feeling that there are a lot of people on these boards that think about this stuff and probably will pick up on this sentiment that I am trying to express.
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"Plus one upvote +1..."
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SpecialEd
+ one
Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 6,220
Loc: : Gringo
Last seen: 9 years, 2 days
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hmmmmmmmm. I reread that and it sounded to myself like I was feeling down or sorry for myself. Not the case.
Like I said, this is interesting stuff to me, I wanna hear what you all think!
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"Plus one upvote +1..."
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abhi
Why not?
 
Registered: 10/11/03
Posts: 16,406
Loc: in some small dive
Last seen: 3 months, 1 day
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Well, I don't exactly approach people in social situations, because I'm not that social... But what you said about initial judgements is pretty true. You basically judge people when you first see them based on their actions whether you want to or not. It's not necessarily a bad thing unless you are giving yourself a fixed mental image of that person based on that short encounter with them.
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adamj
Superhero
Registered: 11/11/03
Posts: 1,562
Loc: Ontario, CAN
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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If you're nice to me, I'm nice to you. If you're a prick to me, I won't even bother. Most of the time I only give them one chance.
Basically if the person is nice, than I can easily get along with them no matter what quirks/habits/interests they have. I am extremely easy person to get along with. I don't judge people at all.
The friends I have now don't really have any interests similar to mine, but we're still good friends. I guess we all like to go out and get drunk every now and then, heh. Surprisngly, I brought up the topic of shrooms and they were all interested. Although I doubt they will use them for their true purpose. They're more like "Yeah lets get fucked up!!!"
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MAIA
World-BridgerKartikeya (DftS)
Registered: 04/27/01
Posts: 7,396
Loc: Erra - 20 Tauri - M45 Sta...
Last seen: 3 months, 3 days
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Quote:
I considered all of my friends and realized that I socially interacted with people that were EXTREMELY similar to me. I was wondering if this was unhealthy or if I was missing anything from these practices.
I know what you mean. I guess, i'd say i can talk about some subjects i like only with certain people, people i identify with or people very similar with myself. When i'm at work, i like talking and joking with my coworkers but that's just plain and empty talk. I have only a dozen of friends which i can openly talk and discuss about religion, philosophy, society, drugs etc .... i like to talk about ideas and i guess i'm lucky for having such open minded friends.
If you ask me if that's unhealthy, well frankly speaking, it could be if you just focus your whole life in a restricted group of friends. Trying to get a good understanding about social interactions implies you experience those interactions. hearing life experiences from other people much different than yourself, making questions and understanding the answers is something available to people with the need for wisdom.
IMHO, being an open minded person means opening yourself to others, it doesn't mean you have to be open to everyone or everything but it's positive as long as it brings you a new learning experience.
MAIA
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Spiritual being, living a human experience ... The Shroomery Mandala
 
Use, do not abuse; neither abstinence nor excess ever renders man happy.
Voltaire
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Viaggio
ChemicalConsumer
Registered: 07/05/03
Posts: 1,296
Last seen: 18 years, 25 days
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 Re: Social [Re: MAIA]
#2479799 - 03/29/04 12:44 PM (20 years, 22 days ago) |
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I only interact with beautiful people 
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"...yet another in a long series of diversions an attempt to avoid responsibility."
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Droz
Love of Life
Registered: 10/15/00
Posts: 2,746
Loc: Floorida
Last seen: 8 years, 8 months
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I'd like to try that one day sit down and play a few games of chess. But with me I don't think that will ever happen, I don't think I normally have conversations with strangers anymore then I use to while I was on drugs. I would always approach people with the strangest things in mind wanting to know say how it is they feel in life at the time they hit relaxation in their own country. It never comes across that easy but I do try and have conversations with my girlfriend that always run her into an easy argument. My conversation skills lack and might always will. Hey! It's just something i've never picked up on. I'd rather stay silent and listen to conversations going on in the background or listen to the wind blow by.
I'm Droz by the way. Nice to meet you SpecialEd.
That prejudgement that we all have sucks and good luck trying to break it.
Peace,
Droz
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Evolution of Time.
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vade
veteran
Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 1,737
Loc: Columbus, OHIO
Last seen: 8 years, 22 days
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Everyone judges people, its human nature. It takes you 3 seconds to fully analyze someone just by what they are wearing
and how they act. I try not to judge people, i try really hard not to judge people actually. Becuase what really pisses me
off is when people judge me or other people. A quote i will always remember from one of my favorite bands says
"With My Soul As The Defendant
Don't Catch Me If I Fall
I May Have Jumped You Never Know
You Don't Know Me...
You Don't Know Me At All" -(Band:Mushroomhead, Song:These filthy hands).
This quote really made me think a lot more about judging and how wrong it can be, but everyone does it.
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I've got this feeling that there's something that I missed...
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