Tricks of the rich hobo

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Ego Death
Justadropofwaterinanendlesssea

Registered: 04/27/03
Posts: 10,447
Loc: The War Machine

Tricks of the rich hobo

#7970005 - 02/02/08 06:59 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

After years of living my hobo lifestyle I'm now a reasonably rich hobo.

I don't spend my money though, thats not part of the rich hobo ethics.

I've decided to share some of the hobo knowledge. You will live well yet spend little and gain much. May it serve you well...
(in no specific order)

Booze into pubs, always take cheap shop booze if your on a night out. Never pay crazy bar prices. I usually buy one drink and slyly top up the rest from my cheap stash of shop bought alcohol.

Steal but not from friends. Stealing is always good. It makes for fun and you get things you need for free. I will usually only steal from large companies that allow an annual theft budget. Always be cautious, only use tried and tested methods and make sure the penalties are not bad in case you do get caught. Never steal from friends, friends are far more valuable.

Finders keepers, always keep an eye out for "lost" items. If you can find them then take them.

Letters of complaint. If you've had problems with a company or product, (or can manifest a problem) then write a letter of complaint in your spare time. I've received numerous amounts of products and even money from my diligence.

Return goods. This is a variation on theft, many times I have returned goods to shops whilst keeping things I need. One of the best was obtaining an xbox hard disk. I returned the box without it, the store clerk was none the wiser.

If its free take it. The most important hobo rule. I have clothes given to me by friends, I have my friends old trainers. I have obtained loads of things that people throw away and re-sold them. I am always being given things that people don't want, especially computers. I either use them or sell them. Last week I saw a PC in somebodies trash, I salvaged it for working parts.

Save anything you can, tax free, high interest. I work a full time job as well as living my hobo lifestyle. Every bit of spare money is put into a high interest, tax free savings account. In my country, the best is currently ns&i at a rate of 6.21%. For 5000, I yield 20+ per month in interest.

Trusted lending. Good friends will occasionally take advantage of my thriftiness. I use this to my advantage too as they will offer to pay back more than they have borrowed. Remember - speculate to accumulate but be a wise judge of character.

Loopholes. These are endless. Theres always a new loop hole. One that I currently exploit is interest free credit cards. There are deals where I get interest free for 12 months. I just keep all the assets in my high interest account and shut down they card when the interest free period runs out. There are plenty of companies offering this but be careful. Do you math correctly and watch out for transfer fees etc. Make sure you WILL PROFIT.

Another loophole we often exploit is to obtain free food from MC'ds or burger king. To be honest, I hate these places but as a struggling hobo, I will often exploit them. All you have to do is complain that the meal you ordered earlier was missing a burger and fries. 9 times out of 10 they just hand the food straight over. There are more advanced methods though, such as looking at the name tags on a member of staff first and telling the person that, you bought it from them when they are off shift.

Keen eye. Whilst wandering charity shops, I have noticed very valuable items being sold for hardly anything. I once purchased a rare beetles record and sold it for 100's more than what I paid.

Fun is free. Remember a hobo doesn't need to spend money to have fun. Goto free parties, meet people, be sociable. You will have plenty of fun without spending money. Spending money is not fun. Its just an illusion, a form of false temporary satisfaction.

Blag you way in. You can lie to get into night clubs. Tell them you are a photographer for blah blah magazine. Pull a fast one, be creative, be confident. Failing is fun too. Succeeding is excellent!

Cheaper ways. Don't buy drink, home brew it and save a small fortune. Grow your own weed or only smoke it when its passed for free.

Buy second hand. Never buy something brand new if you can get something the same second hand. The key to this is checking what you are buying thoroughly. You will only get sold a broken model if you buy a broken model. Buying second hand goods where the owner still has and gives you the warranty is best.

Entrepreneur-ism. Adapt to your environment. If you see a niche, fill it! Start a business! Real money isn't made from working, its made by getting others to do the work for you.

Finally, realize that you will not be disrespected for living like this. I have found that most people actually admire the brilliance of the simplicity.

Please feel free to add your hobo tricks. Good luck and may we prosper!

Extras:

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