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Ego Death
Justadropofwaterinanendlesssea


Registered: 04/27/03
Posts: 10,447
Loc: The War Machine
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Tricks of the rich hobo
#7970005 - 02/02/08 06:59 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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After years of living my hobo lifestyle I'm now a reasonably rich hobo.
I don't spend my money though, thats not part of the rich hobo ethics.
I've decided to share some of the hobo knowledge. You will live well yet spend little and gain much. May it serve you well... (in no specific order)
Booze into pubs, always take cheap shop booze if your on a night out. Never pay crazy bar prices. I usually buy one drink and slyly top up the rest from my cheap stash of shop bought alcohol.
Steal but not from friends. Stealing is always good. It makes for fun and you get things you need for free. I will usually only steal from large companies that allow an annual theft budget. Always be cautious, only use tried and tested methods and make sure the penalties are not bad in case you do get caught. Never steal from friends, friends are far more valuable.
Finders keepers, always keep an eye out for "lost" items. If you can find them then take them.
Letters of complaint. If you've had problems with a company or product, (or can manifest a problem) then write a letter of complaint in your spare time. I've received numerous amounts of products and even money from my diligence.
Return goods. This is a variation on theft, many times I have returned goods to shops whilst keeping things I need. One of the best was obtaining an xbox hard disk. I returned the box without it, the store clerk was none the wiser.
If its free take it. The most important hobo rule. I have clothes given to me by friends, I have my friends old trainers. I have obtained loads of things that people throw away and re-sold them. I am always being given things that people don't want, especially computers. I either use them or sell them. Last week I saw a PC in somebodies trash, I salvaged it for working parts.
Save anything you can, tax free, high interest. I work a full time job as well as living my hobo lifestyle. Every bit of spare money is put into a high interest, tax free savings account. In my country, the best is currently ns&i at a rate of 6.21%. For 5000, I yield 20+ per month in interest.
Trusted lending. Good friends will occasionally take advantage of my thriftiness. I use this to my advantage too as they will offer to pay back more than they have borrowed. Remember - speculate to accumulate but be a wise judge of character.
Loopholes. These are endless. Theres always a new loop hole. One that I currently exploit is interest free credit cards. There are deals where I get interest free for 12 months. I just keep all the assets in my high interest account and shut down they card when the interest free period runs out. There are plenty of companies offering this but be careful. Do you math correctly and watch out for transfer fees etc. Make sure you WILL PROFIT.
Another loophole we often exploit is to obtain free food from MC'ds or burger king. To be honest, I hate these places but as a struggling hobo, I will often exploit them. All you have to do is complain that the meal you ordered earlier was missing a burger and fries. 9 times out of 10 they just hand the food straight over. There are more advanced methods though, such as looking at the name tags on a member of staff first and telling the person that, you bought it from them when they are off shift.
Keen eye. Whilst wandering charity shops, I have noticed very valuable items being sold for hardly anything. I once purchased a rare beetles record and sold it for 100's more than what I paid.
Fun is free. Remember a hobo doesn't need to spend money to have fun. Goto free parties, meet people, be sociable. You will have plenty of fun without spending money. Spending money is not fun. Its just an illusion, a form of false temporary satisfaction.
Blag you way in. You can lie to get into night clubs. Tell them you are a photographer for blah blah magazine. Pull a fast one, be creative, be confident. Failing is fun too. Succeeding is excellent!
Cheaper ways. Don't buy drink, home brew it and save a small fortune. Grow your own weed or only smoke it when its passed for free.
Buy second hand. Never buy something brand new if you can get something the same second hand. The key to this is checking what you are buying thoroughly. You will only get sold a broken model if you buy a broken model. Buying second hand goods where the owner still has and gives you the warranty is best.
Entrepreneur-ism. Adapt to your environment. If you see a niche, fill it! Start a business! Real money isn't made from working, its made by getting others to do the work for you.
Finally, realize that you will not be disrespected for living like this. I have found that most people actually admire the brilliance of the simplicity.
Please feel free to add your hobo tricks. Good luck and may we prosper!
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bmiles
artist



Registered: 12/31/07
Posts: 2,299
Loc: on the left side
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Re: Tricks of the rich hobo [Re: Ego Death]
#7970030 - 02/02/08 07:09 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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this is pretty interesting
-------------------- Never go with a hippy to a second location.
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recons
Stranger

Registered: 11/07/07
Posts: 28
Last seen: 15 years, 9 months
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Re: Tricks of the rich hobo [Re: bmiles]
#7970036 - 02/02/08 07:11 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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freegan.
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Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!


Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
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Re: Tricks of the rich hobo [Re: Ego Death]
#7970201 - 02/02/08 07:42 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Ego Death said: Steal but not from friends. Stealing is always good. Finders keepers, always keep an eye out for "lost" items.
I detest a thief, if I know you'll steal from a store how can I be sure you wont steal from me, how could I trust you as thieves are usually liars too and wouldnt hesitate to lie about stealing from me...
plus it's certainly not worth the year of probation to clip a $20 item
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Zinglons Acolyte
Wizard Ninja



Registered: 12/03/07
Posts: 2,877
Loc: Andromeda Galaxy
Last seen: 9 years, 1 month
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Re: Tricks of the rich hobo [Re: Prisoner#1]
#7970456 - 02/02/08 08:31 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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agreed, large soulless businesses seem like they wouldnt care enough to let you off with a warning, theyd bring the hammer down and youre suffering legal repercussions
then again theres less bad vibes stealing from someplace thats expecting to be stolen from
-------------------- And they wandered off.. nine ways till bedfast. ----- "And lets pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space 'cause theres bugger-all down here on earth!" -Monty Python's "The Universe Song" from The Meaning of Life "In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely considered as a bad move." -Douglas Adams "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" "If the words 'life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness' don't include the right to experiment with your own consciousness, then the Declaration of Independence isn't worth the hemp it was written on." -Terence McKenna
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OneMoreRobot3021



Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,024
Loc: the sky
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Quote:
Zinglons Acolyte said: then again theres less bad vibes stealing from someplace thats expecting to be stolen from
Well if that makes you feel better about...
-------------------- Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake. -Erik Davis
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recons
Stranger

Registered: 11/07/07
Posts: 28
Last seen: 15 years, 9 months
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Quote:
Zinglons Acolyte said: agreed, large soulless businesses seem like they wouldnt care enough to let you off with a warning, theyd bring the hammer down and youre suffering legal repercussions
then again theres less bad vibes stealing from someplace thats expecting to be stolen from
Liars and thieves can have morals and ethics too.
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g00ru
lit pants tit licker



Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 21,088
Loc: georgia, us
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Tricks of the rich hobo [Re: recons]
#7970688 - 02/02/08 09:15 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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I don't feel bad about stealing every now and then.
Like he said not from friends of course. Although I must admit, and I'm ashamed of this, I've stolen weed from good friends before, basically by not giving them there shit back if they leave it at my house. That phase of my character is long behind me though.
-------------------- check out my music! drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss
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koppie
astral projectile


Registered: 07/23/04
Posts: 2,653
Loc: cloud hidden
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Re: Tricks of the rich hobo [Re: g00ru]
#7971548 - 02/03/08 01:13 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
guruu said: I've stolen weed from good friends before, basically by not giving them there shit back if they leave it at my house.
That's not stealing. That's receiving a gift. Good friends often leave their weed at their friend's house as a token of apreciation for hospitality received. Don't bring it up in conversation though. The gave it to you without saying a word, so it's best to respect their wishes and be discreet about it.
If they do bring it up, thank them profusely, telling them that receiving that weed is the nicest thing that has happened to you in a long time. They are SO kind and modest to leave such a great gift without making a fuss. How lucky you are to have such a good friend.
You see, with a bit of creative interpretation you can turn it into a positive thing.
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jewunit
Brutal!

Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 34,264
Loc: Ohio
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Re: Tricks of the rich hobo [Re: Ego Death]
#7971560 - 02/03/08 01:17 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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So in short you survive by being a scum bag.
-------------------- !
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OneMoreRobot3021



Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,024
Loc: the sky
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Re: Tricks of the rich hobo [Re: jewunit]
#7971566 - 02/03/08 01:19 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Yes, but in long, they're just tricks.
-------------------- Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake. -Erik Davis
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Crasher
αἱρετίζω




Registered: 03/13/01
Posts: 6,220
Loc: Tardy to the Party
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Re: Tricks of the rich hobo [Re: jewunit]
#7971573 - 02/03/08 01:20 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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I swear i read this somewhere else before.
-------------------- Give me silence, water, hope; Give me struggle, iron, volcanoes...
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jewunit
Brutal!

Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 34,264
Loc: Ohio
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Is scumbag one word or two?
-------------------- !
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OneMoreRobot3021



Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,024
Loc: the sky
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Re: Tricks of the rich hobo [Re: Crasher]
#7971578 - 02/03/08 01:22 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crasher said: I swear i read this somewhere else before.
Well obviously the OP isn't averse to stealing, so maybe he found it somewhere else. 
jewunit: one, I'm pretty certain.
-------------------- Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake. -Erik Davis
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blackegg
...has left the building.



Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 1,021
Last seen: 15 years, 6 months
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Re: Tricks of the rich hobo [Re: koppie]
#7971586 - 02/03/08 01:24 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Agreed, sometimes my friends wordlessly thank me by leaving their pot / valuables out in the open when I'm visiting.
Of course, they were gracious enough to give me these things without egotistically offering them verbally to me so when they come back into the room and ask me where their stuff is I humbly thank them in return by remaining silent and shrugging my shoulders in mock innocence.
-------------------- 'Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain and leave the Shroomery.' ~ Jim Morrison
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jewunit
Brutal!

Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 34,264
Loc: Ohio
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Yeah, scumbag passes spell check.
-------------------- !
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Ego Death
Justadropofwaterinanendlesssea


Registered: 04/27/03
Posts: 10,447
Loc: The War Machine
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Re: Tricks of the rich hobo [Re: jewunit]
#7972009 - 02/03/08 08:12 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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So someone who lives thrifty is a scumbag?
I work a full-time job.
The key difference is I hardly spend any of my money.
I know people that live pay check to pay check, spening all there money on booze and DVD's. They are never getting anywhere in life and will most likely die poor without owning their own house or anything. To me, that is a worse option.
I feel no remorse from stealing from a shop. I'm the person who is laughing in the long run. If that makes you not trust me then that is your loss, my friends no me for my honesty and trustworthyness. Something which has grown over years. My good friends have been my friends for 5 years + some of them for most of my life.
You don't get probabtion in my country for stealing from shops. The police won't even deal with it unless its over $150 worth of goods.
Edited by Ego Death (02/03/08 09:46 PM)
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Newbie
User of semicolons.



Registered: 07/18/04
Posts: 24,710
Loc: SoCal
Last seen: 1 day, 11 hours
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Re: Tricks of the rich hobo [Re: Ego Death]
#7972016 - 02/03/08 08:17 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Some motherfucker jacked a whole half gallon of Soco from me at a party last night. I was pissed. Stealing from people isn't cool. Stores yes, although I probably never would.
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Redstorm
Prince of Bugs




Registered: 10/08/02
Posts: 44,175
Last seen: 3 months, 10 days
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Re: Tricks of the rich hobo [Re: Newbie]
#7972037 - 02/03/08 08:26 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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It's amazing how many lowlifes are in this thread.
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Kickle
Wanderer



Registered: 12/16/06
Posts: 17,852
Last seen: 4 hours, 51 minutes
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Re: Tricks of the rich hobo [Re: Newbie]
#7972054 - 02/03/08 08:37 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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You didn't pay money to get where you are, you merely paid with your dignity.
-------------------- Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain
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