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InvisibleOneMoreRobot3021
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Identifying your crutches and moving beyond them.
    #7922251 - 01/23/08 10:22 PM (16 years, 9 days ago)

The past month or so of my life has been one of the most productive, thrilling, enlivening months of my entire existence upon this planet. It almost feels as if I am reaching a level of potential I always knew existed within me...but that I never had faith I could reach. I truly feel what has brought me here is casting aside my crutches.

For all of us, what we lean on will be different, though there will be common threads that unite us in what we rely on as we move through this earth. Too often do I become comfortable, get into comfort zones in my relationships to people, things and routines. And this holds me back as a writer, a friend, a human being in the general sense.

The crutches I have cast aside are my girlfriend, my drugs, pornography (and a general default-to-lust-when-have-nothing-to-do mindset). In turn my mind has become unbelievably alert. I feel more aware than ever at every point in the day. I wake up alive to the world, ready to soak it in, and unlike previous points in my life when I have either sponged the world up all the time or let it out all the time, I feel that I am breathing. My soul's membrane has reached a level of experiential translucence that I have always quested for but never found.

Once again, I could have never done this without casting aside my crutches. I think it's important for every human being to look at what it is that gets them through the day, and then question whether or not they really need those things to do so. Because chances are high that you don't need any of them. Now, I'm not a fan of extremism in any sense of the word, so I don't think we need to be monastic about all this, but I think it's important to view all of your routines and habits as relationships that you can take a break from.

Ending every night jacking off to pornography, where did that get me? Spending time in a relationship I knew was dying, instead of being alone in a room and just breathing and being and learning about myself through quietness...where was that getting me? And getting stoned simply for lack of something better to do, where was that getting me? Nowhere fast. Now, do I think pornography is evil? Do I never want to have a girlfriend again? Am I turning my back on the devil weed?

No to all counts. But gaining distance from my routines, my habits, and the places and people with which I am most comfortable has done me wonders. It was quelled my anxiety, led to a prolific sense of creativity throughout the day (and not just thoughts, but actual output!), and an sense of inner peace previously unattained.

I just wanted to share that, my advice at this stage in my life.

I'm just doing What Feels Right. And at every turn, it has served me well. Sure, one day I'll probably do What Feels Right only to learn that it was Wrong, but to me, right now, this is the Way.


--------------------
Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.

-Erik Davis


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
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Registered: 06/15/02
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Re: Identifying your crutches and moving beyond them. [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
    #7922341 - 01/23/08 10:38 PM (16 years, 9 days ago)

It's really easy to get stuck in a rut because it is comfortable. But, you miss out on new and exciting things and you don't live life to the fullest.

And with that note I'm going to www.youporn.com to jack off like a fiend and finish off my evening.


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InvisibleOneMoreRobot3021
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Registered: 06/06/03
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Loc: the sky
Re: Identifying your crutches and moving beyond them. [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #7922354 - 01/23/08 10:39 PM (16 years, 9 days ago)

There's one crutch I have a very hard time separating myself from, though. It's called www.shroomery.org.


--------------------
Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.

-Erik Davis


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
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Re: Identifying your crutches and moving beyond them. [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
    #7922364 - 01/23/08 10:41 PM (16 years, 9 days ago)

Me too man. Read my "Online Interaction" journal entry and you'll see my observations of, my misgivings about, and the origin for my addiction to this site.


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
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Re: Identifying your crutches and moving beyond them. [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #7922375 - 01/23/08 10:42 PM (16 years, 9 days ago)

Errr...wait. I deleted it. But, you know what I'm talking about. We're both in the same boat.


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InvisibleOneMoreRobot3021
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Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,024
Loc: the sky
Re: Identifying your crutches and moving beyond them. [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #7922384 - 01/23/08 10:44 PM (16 years, 9 days ago)

Yeah I read that before you deleted it. I wish you didn't delete your journal entries. You and MOTH both. A couple treasure troves of great ideas and great writing - *poof*.


--------------------
Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.

-Erik Davis


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Offlinelearningtofly
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Re: Identifying your crutches and moving beyond them. [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
    #7922640 - 01/23/08 11:36 PM (16 years, 9 days ago)

Pornography is one nasty bitch to rid yourself of. I am going to start that tomorrow. I managed to rid myself of two message boards during winter break. Basically it came down to "This is actually really boring and I don't get anything out of this" so I just stopped one day and never thought about it again.

I think I need to get out more, lately i've been kinda depressed and sitting around definitely ain't helping.


--------------------


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InvisibleCrasher
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Re: Identifying your crutches and moving beyond them. [Re: learningtofly]
    #7922718 - 01/23/08 11:57 PM (16 years, 9 days ago)

quit drinking booze and chewing tobacco. 23 days and I don't miss it!

Cheers to those of you who have cast away similar crutches.


--------------------
Give me silence, water, hope;
Give me struggle, iron, volcanoes...


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InvisibleWhiskeyClone
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Re: Identifying your crutches and moving beyond them. [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
    #7923305 - 01/24/08 07:59 AM (16 years, 8 days ago)

Quote:

Once again, I could have never done this without casting aside my crutches. I think it's important for every human being to look at what it is that gets them through the day, and then question whether or not they really need those things to do so.




Good post. Any behavior that is easy or comfortable should be examined regularly. I'm currently undergoing a personal revolution as well. Keep up the good work.

Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.


--------------------
Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

:heartpump:


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OfflinePolyrhythmanaut
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Re: Identifying your crutches and moving beyond them. [Re: WhiskeyClone]
    #7923786 - 01/24/08 11:03 AM (16 years, 8 days ago)

yea im currently distancing myself from solitude and kratom :crazy:
Totally not like me to be in this situation. It just kind of crept up on me.

It was a bad solution for a simple problem and very detrimental to the overall quality of my life. You know i blush to say this, but Ive actually stopped once before during a turbulent time in my life a few months ago. Now i pause to look at myself and my current predicament and realize im back a square one.

Oh well, never to late to start again right?


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InvisibleOneMoreRobot3021
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Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,024
Loc: the sky
Re: Identifying your crutches and moving beyond them. [Re: Polyrhythmanaut]
    #7923799 - 01/24/08 11:06 AM (16 years, 8 days ago)

Never. Ever.


--------------------
Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.

-Erik Davis


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InvisibleThin White Duke
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Re: Identifying your crutches and moving beyond them. [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
    #7926456 - 01/24/08 08:32 PM (16 years, 8 days ago)

Interesting.

I've been relying on crutches far too much to get me through the day since you know when, and even though I know they're of no real benefit to me I keep returning to them.

This is why I really can't wait to go to Australia. The chance to leave EVERYTHING behind and start a new life, even if just for a year or two, is something I really need to do to sort myself out once and for all.


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InvisibleAnarleaf
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Registered: 01/19/07
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Re: Identifying your crutches and moving beyond them. [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
    #7926746 - 01/24/08 09:13 PM (16 years, 8 days ago)

I appreciate that you said your actions are not to blame, but the actual reliance or habit of some activities. People usually blame the act instead of their reliance.

Good luck on reducing your habits, I know how hard it is once you get in a routine. Best advice I would give to anyone is to analyze if there is an underlying problem, or to check yourself and your psychological persona.


Edited by Anarleaf (01/24/08 09:16 PM)


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Offlinefreddurgan
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Registered: 01/11/04
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Re: Identifying your crutches and moving beyond them. [Re: Anarleaf]
    #7927093 - 01/24/08 10:07 PM (16 years, 8 days ago)

Well I suppose my only crutch right now is Shroomery...I don't really do much else besides read.


--------------------
Ishmael
http://www.ishmael.org

Ron Paul 2008!
http://www.ronpaul2008.com/


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OfflinePolyrhythmanaut
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Registered: 01/27/07
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Re: Identifying your crutches and moving beyond them. [Re: freddurgan]
    #7927644 - 01/24/08 11:43 PM (16 years, 8 days ago)

Quote:

freddurgan said:
Well I suppose my only crutch right now is Shroomery...I don't really do much else besides read.




maybe this psychoactive website will be scheduled one day...
if conservatives have their way...:( jk

I really feel like I'm on the cusp of something better in my life, just like Onelessforeskin wrote above. Once i get past my own obstacles, once I'm free to just be. Especially once we as a species overcome all these ignorant misadventures that we love so much. damn. that'll be the day.


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InvisibleOneMoreRobot3021
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Registered: 06/06/03
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Re: Identifying your crutches and moving beyond them. [Re: Polyrhythmanaut]
    #7927682 - 01/24/08 11:49 PM (16 years, 8 days ago)

I think the Shroomery is a crutch. But I also thing it's a highly important nexus. Sure, i fritter and waste the time I have away here...but I don't truly feel that's all in empty pursuit. I love so many people here. (Okay, I'll admit it - I finished off the remnants of my bag of pure MDMA tonight. :smile:) And reaching out to the, connecting with them, it's so important to me. I never knew this site would become to me what it has. Not just a place to piss away the time but a place to connect with people whose relationships with themselves on a chemical level has profoundly affected their lives and the way that they view and interact with the world. There IS a common thread here, and I think having this place to talk to one another, to bounce ideas off of one another, to reassure one another and put a digital hand on one another's shoulders...it's important, and it's good.

:heart:


--------------------
Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.

-Erik Davis


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OfflinePolyrhythmanaut
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Re: Identifying your crutches and moving beyond them. [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
    #7928327 - 01/25/08 02:46 AM (16 years, 7 days ago)

Quote:

OneLessForeskin said:
I think the Shroomery is a crutch. But I also thing it's a highly important nexus. Sure, i fritter and waste the time I have away here...but I don't truly feel that's all in empty pursuit. I love so many people here. (Okay, I'll admit it - I finished off the remnants of my bag of pure MDMA tonight. :smile:) And reaching out to the, connecting with them, it's so important to me. I never knew this site would become to me what it has. Not just a place to piss away the time but a place to connect with people whose relationships with themselves  on a chemical level has profoundly affected their lives and the way that they view and interact with the world. There IS a common thread here, and I think having this place to talk to one another, to bounce ideas off of one another, to reassure one another and put a digital hand on one another's shoulders...it's important, and it's good.

:heart:




You just gave me a contact high haha :gethigh: thanks!

I feel the same way about this site. I'm sure there are a bunch of people on here that may not necessarily have friends in their surrounding area that they can share these kind of vibes and ideas with.
Thats the way i was after i was initiated into the world of the psyche. Brought up in a "fallen from Christ- Christian family" that stems from very closed minded and stubborn roots, i found myself pretty alienated. I'm sure thats common. But then i found out that there is a community emerging through the miracle that is the internet.
Pretty bad ass to be able to connect and meet like minded people even if they're too far away to actually meet. Its weird to think of all you shroomerites as "family" but i guess i do. I share more of myself on this forum than i do with almost anyone, sans a few close friends and my girlfriend. But even still, i feel more acceptance here.

One of the many things that i take for granted. I hope it continues to grow.


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Invisibledemiu5
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Re: Identifying your crutches and moving beyond them. [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
    #7928849 - 01/25/08 08:18 AM (16 years, 7 days ago)

good thread omr.  i've enjoyed reading this.  i wish it hadn't taken me a few days to post in it, but :ohwell:


i decided last nite before going to sleep to make a list of why i shouldn't/should use cannabis.  here's what i came up with:

Negatives

sinuses stuff up/excessive discharge of mucus

smoking is not good for the lungs, period

muscles tense up (despite not feeling anxious)

teeth lightly staining

mood change/swings (i feel happier, steadily, without)

expensive

less legal risk(s)


Positives

somewhat of a lack of concentration, especially in school, but this could take time to change...not to mention my focus on things that i consider shit was never really there anyways





Quote:

Phumfeinz said:
This is why I really can't wait to go to Australia. The chance to leave EVERYTHING behind and start a new life, even if just for a year or two, is something I really need to do to sort myself out once and for all.




phummy:  do you not think that this mentality is also a crutch?  "once this happens, i can do this!"  that's self-defeating.  you could take charge of everything now, but it would probably be harder in your current environment.  but that's what you're not wanting to deal with here and now, the challenge.  it's still going to be a challenge when you go to aus

don't forget you have the chance every second of every day to leave everything behind and start anew :heart:


--------------------
channel your inner Larry David


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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: Identifying your crutches and moving beyond them. [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
    #7928885 - 01/25/08 08:35 AM (16 years, 7 days ago)

I enjoyed your post.  It takes real courage to leave crutches in the dust.  I know personally whenever my mind starts to realize that I am planning to discard a crutch, it clenches up and starts to grip harder then ever.  I'm being patient with myself through; I know that there is a time for everything and that I have already begun the process of absolving myself of crutches.  In time, I will be able to let it all go...even though the only time is NOW... :wink:

Thanks for being inspirational. :heartpump:


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InvisibleThin White Duke
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Re: Identifying your crutches and moving beyond them. [Re: demiu5]
    #7929088 - 01/25/08 09:49 AM (16 years, 7 days ago)

I understand why you could see that way of thinking as a crutch, but to me it's more optimism/hope than anything else. If I have nothing to look forward to or no plans on the horizon then I go crazy.

The way I currently see it is no matter how crap life is right now, in half a years time (hopefully) I'll be enjoying life to the fullest. Meeting new people, doing new things. A whole different lifestyle. If that actually turns out to be the case is something that is yet to be seen. Hell, I might end up hating it and come back to England sooner than planned, but right now I need to believe that it will be fucking amazing.


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