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 LuNaTiX
Quarterback
Registered: 07/28/03
Posts: 5,142
Last seen: 6 months, 1 day
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 Moving away 
#3589175 - 01/06/05 02:01 PM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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Right now I?m 18 turning 19 in February, I have a job at the local addiction services (Detox and Rehab)(my teachers sick idea when I told him I was interested in psychology) through a co-op program at school. I also have a part time job at a market store, and I am still attending my last year in high school (failed a grade).
Now here is where things get crappy. My family has a history of mental and physical abuse, but mostly in my earlier years. Things are getting dicey at home, my parents don't want me to move out until I?m done school though, but their rules and the lack of privacy they give me annoy me to the point where it interferes with all aspects of my life. Of course like many on this forum my friend would like to experiment with growing mushrooms but he does not want to grow them in his parent's house and put his parents at risk. So now I want to leave but just can not afford it, so I explained my story to my guidance counselor and she got some information about financial assistance. The catch to it all is that I need to convince them that its absolutely needed that I move out of my house. I could easily do this with all the events that have happened, but at the expense of my parent?s names. I do not think my parents do not care about me, in fact I understand why they did the things they did, and I have forgiven them, but to move out, I would need to mention most of this stuff. So now I?m stuck with a decision and I'm not exactly sure which way to go on it.
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canid
irregular meat sprocket
Registered: 02/26/02
Posts: 11,912
Loc: looking for zeebras, n. c...
Last seen: 3 months, 5 days
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Re: Moving away [Re: LuNaTiX]
#3589237 - 01/06/05 02:16 PM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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it's a hard call man. unless the abuse is of a sexual nature, it's not something that will "get out", but i wouldn't6 want to make waves for my parents either.
i left home before i was ready for the burden too and have spent the last eyar and a half trying to get on my feet. it's fianly working, but i think i would have been better off if i had been able to hack it untill i was better suited for life on my own. i am blessed to have an amazingly openminded mother [not the kind to let you do whatever you want, but the kind to understand] and i left the abusive relationship much earlier in life.
if you can hack it long enough to save money, it'll be easier. if you can not live there any longer, you will make do and it will not be long before you are stable on your own. you sound to begin with like a reasonably mature person so i'lll trust you not to jump before you have something to jump on to.
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 Attn PWN hunters: If you should come across a bluing Psilocybe matching P. pellicolusa please smell it.
If you detect a scent reminiscent of Anethole (anise) please preserve a specimen or two for study and please PM me.
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LuNaTiX
Quarterback
Registered: 07/28/03
Posts: 5,142
Last seen: 6 months, 1 day
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Re: Moving away [Re: canid]
#3589307 - 01/06/05 02:41 PM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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Well the abuse isn?t as intense as it was when I was from 8 to 14 years old, and there was no sexual abuse of any sort, but the arguments seem to be a daily occurrence. I agree that staying would be a wise choice, but I?m not sure how this decision would affect my grades. To me, stress = drugs, and drugs do effect my grade to some extent. I?m trying to stay clean though so I can think rationally and get on my feet.
My mother is also more open minded then my father, my father and I are a lot alike (stubborn and closed minded), so just awhile ago I tried to explain to him that I needed this, of course he exploded into a childish fit going on like ?FINE! Leave! And don?t even think of coming back, for money, food or anything for that matter? , and ?Oh I thought you were smarter then this!? ; just general insults and put downs. And now there is a property tax issue, I need to get a copy of it for the financial assistance (which is dumb considering the reason I?m trying to leave is because my parents are really getting on my case) and my father refuses to even think about getting it for me.
So if I can not get this financial assistance, my last options are either to drop out and work full time or stay and potentially flunk school and cause all kinds of stress related issues in my life. Like for example I feel the need to just fight with someone, this guy annoys me, he?s one of those people who like to poke stoners because they don?t fight back, but I?m like ready to take him out ever since all this stress started; just little things like that.
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canid
irregular meat sprocket
Registered: 02/26/02
Posts: 11,912
Loc: looking for zeebras, n. c...
Last seen: 3 months, 5 days
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Re: Moving away [Re: LuNaTiX]
#3589329 - 01/06/05 02:52 PM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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well don't do anything to get yourself in trouble. if you have to stay for now, that dosen't mean you have to stay for long.
your father will probably come to understaqnd that you're an adult pretty quick when he sees you being one on your own.
if you end up having to leave, you *can* work to pay bills and study at the same time, it's just not easy. i find i am usualy supprised at whet i can do and even get used to if i have to, just tell yourself you have to if it comes to that.
don't drop out, it is a pain. i have to lie every time i apply for a job and all the better jobs i'm qualified for check up and i never hear back.
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Attn PWN hunters: If you should come across a bluing Psilocybe matching P. pellicolusa please smell it.
If you detect a scent reminiscent of Anethole (anise) please preserve a specimen or two for study and please PM me.
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