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OfflineCaRnAgECaNdYS
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Moving TO fast
    #3439906 - 12/02/04 11:10 PM (12 years, 3 days ago)

Oh my goodness. So I met this nice guy awhile back. I instantly liked him and was excited to find out he liked me as well.
He asked me out on a date a couple of weeks ago and things went very well. Since then we've spent a good amount of time together.
I really enjoy his company as he enjoys mine.

Here's the thing...he's getting way to attached and he says that he already has feelings for me.
Isn't this too soon?

Why is this a problem for me....because he's already talking about OUR future that I'm not sure exists yet.  :confused:

Here are a couple of examples:

A few days ago I mentioned that I was going to be moving into the town where I worked so I can be closer to my job. He asks," when you move..do you want me there with you?"
I was like huh? :what:
I asked,"What do you mean.. there with me ?"
He says,"do you want me to move in with you"
:eek: :wtf:

Um  NO

I told him, "I think it's way to soon for that yet"

He replies," Well I just thought you'd want me to since I will be there  all the time."


:rolleyes: So he thinks  :smirk:

Here is something else. I am married but I've been seperated for 2 years. I filed for divorce, but I haven't followed up on the case since I left AZ. So legally I am still married...he knows this and he asked me the other day:
"So when are you going to get that divorce?"
I told him," I'm going to get it as soon as I get the money and when I get a chance to go back down to AZ. I'm not in a hurry to do it right now because there is alot going on"
I added,"Why do you ask?"

He says,"Because when I ask you to marry me, I want you to be ready!"

:sad:

No No No

I don't like the sound of this at all. He's completely serious when he says these things to me and it kinda freaks me out.
We talked about taking things real slow..but he's just pushing things further than I want them to go.

So tonight, I told him that I thought that we should not see eachother for a few days. I want to give him some time to get his head clear. I want him to think about the things he's saying to me and I want to give him some time alone to think about the things he's feeling for me.

Now me and him are not "going out" as far as being a boyfriend/girlfriend thing. We have only been seeing eachother.
I've been asked out on a few dates and actually told him about it.
He got upset but said that he wasn't going to ask me to turn these others down.

Let me make this clear....I  absolutely DO NOT sleep with any of these men. For some reason, I have quite a reputation on this site as some kind of slut because I like to flirt. That IS NOT the case. I DO NOT sleep around. I date people and get to know them.
I just wanted to make that point clear.

I am very interested in finding someone that I can spend the rest of my life with, but I want to build a relationship slowly. I don't see a need to rush into anything. I did make a right decision...right?

Was I to harsh in letting him go?
I'm not sure what I'm asking for here, maybe some advise in handling this type of situation. :shrug:

I know what I want from a man. So far, he has what I've been looking for...plus he's a  FIREFIGHTER  OMG that's hot!

He's just pushing to fast and that scares me. :frown:


--------------------

The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.


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InvisibleGnuBobo
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Registered: 06/17/04
Posts: 43,754
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Re: Moving TO fast [Re: CaRnAgECaNdY]
    #3440035 - 12/02/04 11:38 PM (12 years, 3 days ago)

That sounds way too fast to the point of delusional (his assumptions/statements).  I dunno....  He sounds like a nice guy from what you've posted, but if he's that eager and presumptuous, my gut tells me there's something not right.  At least, that guy sounds lame and maybe a little strange to me--another guy. 
I think you did the right thing.  See how he handles it.  If he takes it maturely, maybe you've got something. 
You sound like you're pretty clear, tho, on your priorities (your kids) so I think you'll do the right thing either way as the situation develops.  Take it easy.  :grin:

GB


--------------------
Jerry Garcia. JERRY GARCIA! JERRY GARCIA!!!!


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Invisiblelooner2
ABBA fan

Registered: 06/20/04
Posts: 3,849
Re: Moving TO fast [Re: GnuBobo]
    #3440103 - 12/02/04 11:50 PM (12 years, 3 days ago)

Answer the question honestly, is it because he is "moving" to fast, or because he is showing weakness by falling for you so fast, without holding his ground?


--------------------
I am in love with Acidic_Sloth



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OfflineCaRnAgECaNdYS
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Re: Moving TO fast [Re: looner2]
    #3440191 - 12/03/04 12:06 AM (12 years, 3 days ago)

Hmm, that's a good question.
I don't think it's a weakness to fall for someone so fast. Then again, he is going through some serious issues right now.
He tells me that I'm helping him out emotionally. That I'm his strength. That does seem like a sign of needyness, if that's a word.
Don't get me wrong, I don't mind emotional men. I want to be there for him, but I don't want him to depend on me completely for his emotional needs. AHHH, Sorry, this situation is weird for me.


--------------------

The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
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Re: Moving TO fast [Re: CaRnAgECaNdY]
    #3440292 - 12/03/04 12:27 AM (12 years, 3 days ago)

RUN!!!!!

Seriously, when people start talking about moving in and marriage after a few weeks or so, it scares the fuck out of me.

Damn..it's so weird, but a lot of guys have become the needy blithering wimps and women have become the pimps in today's society.

My friend(a girl) has been going out with this dude for a month. He is already talking about marriage and showing her advertisements for rings. Jesus Fucking Christ! People are stupid.


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OfflineMrBump
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Re: Moving TO fast [Re: CaRnAgECaNdY]
    #3440545 - 12/03/04 01:48 AM (12 years, 3 days ago)

was this the same guy you posted a thread about how you wanted to tell this "friend" that you loved him?

but yeah, he's really pushing the issue.
at least your nice enough to give him some time to figure out he's acting desparate. most girls psycho alarm woulda gone off and they would have bolted very quickly.


--------------------
If it weren't for the bloody corpses, I wouldn't have any corpses at all.

There are two ways to get to the top of an oak tree: start climbing or sit on an acorn.

Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?


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Offlinerunnerup
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Registered: 03/23/04
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Re: Moving TO fast [Re: MrBump]
    #3440884 - 12/03/04 03:53 AM (12 years, 3 days ago)

:drama:

last time I go to this Physical and Mental Health forum.


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Invisiblenewusername222
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Registered: 08/14/03
Posts: 2,327
Re: Moving TO fast [Re: CaRnAgECaNdY]
    #3441137 - 12/03/04 09:00 AM (12 years, 3 days ago)

There have been several times where I have fallen for someone very fast. Usually it's when I need someone and I'm thinking more of my needs than hers. That's a bad sign and you should get away from it. Move on.

If you in fact haven't slept with the guy, any chance this is all just a ploy on his part to make you think he is serious to get you in the sack?

There's a lot of different scenarios that could lead to a guy acting the way you describe this fellow. None of the ones I can think of are favorable to you.

I say give him the big proverbial boot. And if he doesn't take the proverbial one, well.... give him the real one. (we need a smiley kicking another in the balls).


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OfflineMrBump
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Re: Moving TO fast [Re: newusername222]
    #3441719 - 12/03/04 12:39 PM (12 years, 3 days ago)

:nutkick:


--------------------
If it weren't for the bloody corpses, I wouldn't have any corpses at all.

There are two ways to get to the top of an oak tree: start climbing or sit on an acorn.

Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?


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Offlinebaraka
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Re: Moving TO fast [Re: CaRnAgECaNdY]
    #3441743 - 12/03/04 12:46 PM (12 years, 3 days ago)



--------------------
This is the only time I really feel alive.


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Offlinedruqks46
its dat woowoo
Registered: 09/29/04
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Re: Moving TO fast [Re: baraka]
    #3442619 - 12/03/04 04:55 PM (12 years, 3 days ago)

1.this guy is a clingy fuck
2. you havent fucked, so your not going out
3.sounds like hes an AFC, average frustrated chump.
4.run.. hes already talking about moving in, my god...


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Offlinefelix
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Re: Moving TO fast [Re: CaRnAgECaNdY]
    #3442914 - 12/03/04 05:57 PM (12 years, 3 days ago)

give him some booty and it'll slow down his future plans a bit.


--------------------
Real botanists laugh at HPS systems, we do however use high pressure sodium in the parking lot. - artthug


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OfflineCaRnAgECaNdYS
Tool's groupie
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Re: Moving TO fast [Re: felix]
    #3449587 - 12/05/04 12:43 PM (12 years, 1 day ago)

Haha...umm, that didn't work. :smirk:


--------------------

The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.


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Invisiblenewusername222
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Re: Moving TO fast [Re: CaRnAgECaNdY]
    #3450238 - 12/05/04 03:47 PM (12 years, 1 day ago)

OK, well give supernova some booty and maybe then he'll slow down!  :ooo: :grin:


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Onlinewrestler_az
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Re: Moving TO fast [Re: MrBump]
    #3450248 - 12/05/04 03:50 PM (12 years, 1 day ago)

Quote:

thecornking said:
was this the same guy you posted a thread about how you wanted to tell this "friend" that you loved him?




if we are thinking about the same thread, it was me she was talking about and no, its not the same guy at all.

desire, this guy is moving too fast for YOU? im not trying to insult you here, so dont take it that way....but you always seemd like the type to move pretty fast. you hated me for the longest time, then one day i was nice to you and you "fell in love" me. calling me like every day, joining the shroomery and sending me countless messages, making posts about me like the one mentioned above....i dunno, maybe youve changed since you moved but it seems to me like this guy is acting a bit towards you like you were towards me..... :smirk:

if you still want a relationship with this guy you need to set him straight. tell him to fuck off for a bit and give you some space. or just tell him to fuck off all together....thats probably the best choice.


--------------------
how's your WOW?





  Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM) 


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OfflineCaRnAgECaNdYS
Tool's groupie
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Registered: 04/09/04
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Last seen: 1 month, 8 days
Re: Moving TO fast [Re: wrestler_az]
    #3464196 - 12/08/04 01:24 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Hahaha, your still very funny wrestler. :smirk:

I never "loved" you. I liked you ALOT. I never wanted to move fast with you, I wanted to be more than just friends.
With this guy, he wants to get married and shit. This is very different. BTW, wrestler...I didn't send you all kinds of messages!
Now you are dilusional. It's okay...I'm sure your still recovering from the gathering. :grin:

I decided to have a long talk with this guy and now we are both on the right track. I didn't want to move fast...but I didn't just want to let him go alltogether either.
So we came upon an agreement and things are going smoothly...so far.


--------------------

The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.


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Onlinewrestler_az
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Re: Moving TO fast [Re: CaRnAgECaNdY]
    #3464587 - 12/08/04 02:41 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

right.... :smirk:


--------------------
how's your WOW?





  Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM) 


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InvisibleFreakQlibrium
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Re: Moving TO fast [Re: CaRnAgECaNdY]
    #3464627 - 12/08/04 02:48 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

I hope it continues, best of luck!



:sun: :heart: :sun: :thumbup: :thumbup: :smile:


--------------------
"Being crazier than a shithouse rat is not sufficient grounds for banishment"



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Invisiblenewusername222
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Re: Moving TO fast [Re: CaRnAgECaNdY]
    #3464695 - 12/08/04 03:01 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Hey, if you two can talk and listen then you are on the right track. Good luck.


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OfflineCaRnAgECaNdYS
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Re: Moving TO fast [Re: wrestler_az]
    #3464736 - 12/08/04 03:10 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

wrestler_az said:
right.... :smirk:




Hmm, ^^^^^ that was just in the PM I sent you...how weird is that.  :smirk:


Thank you everyone.


--------------------

The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.


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