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InvisibleBillyGrass
member

Registered: 03/01/01
Posts: 136
Liberating My Parents
    #2339383 - 02/16/04 01:05 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Hi,

I've been a member of this board and a regular reader since 1998, when I was 18. That was also the first year that I moved out of my parents' house. Which was also the first year that I wasn't forced to go to a Baptist church.

My mom gave birth to me when she was 20. She was unmarried, and my father had run off. That's the only info I have about the situation that brought me here, because my mom never talks about it, or any other touchy subject. So, the rest of this story is what I am assuming. Wait wait. It's more like an educated guess(i'm a smart guy :thumbup:). Anyway, I have no idea if he loved her, or if she loved him. :frown:  But let's be Buhddist about this and move on...

Feeling nervous, and alone, she took the only reasonable advice that was available to here at the time: Baptist church. Maybe she heard a sermon or something; I don't know how it went down, but it definately went down. I know she was encouraged by my grandmother (who was already a faithfull follower of that wacky crap) and, ever since then she has been hooked on the "healing blood of the lamb." Her brain was planted with goverment approved seeds that tell her "drugs are bad", "anything against the law will send you to hell," "science is witchraft" etc. etc.

Not long after becoming a Christian she met my new dad in one of her sunday school classes. They got married after being together for ONLY 6 MONTHS!!(A fact I was not aware of until just recently). And, BAHM!! we had a family. So, every single Sunday until age 18 when I was legally able to stop, I have attended a Baptist church to be assimilated into the grid of conformity so I'll eat my Captain Crunch and join the military and shut the fuck up!

Excuse me. This post is not a rant. I have very positive goals. Allow me to continue:

I can't put my finger on when or how it happened, but it did most definately happen. I slowly became aware that things were not what they appeared to be. All my life I believed that my purpose was to follow God's word and to devote my life to spreading his love(ahem disease ahem) to all the lost souls. They told me that when I asked Jesus to come into my heart and make me free from sin (known as being "saved") that I would feel the joy of Christ overwelm me. Well, I did, and it didn't. I didn't feel shit. Nothing. But, I kept believing it. Why would my parents lie to me? They love me. I never questioned that, nor do I now. I know they love me. I have excellent, devoted parents who were there for my every need. However, something was not right. And after that moment I never was right.

But, I didn't become aware of the true nature of mind so easily. I had to be bad to be good. What I mean by that is  that one day I just decided to do the oppisite of everything that they were teaching me in church. God, I must have been 13 or 14. I started listening to the bad kids and school and became interested in their attitude and more importantly, their music. I began to realize that the views of these people were not filled with pain, torment, nashing of teeth, and evil like I had been taught. They were liberated. Liberated from guilt. I got a lot of shit for trying to tell my friends about the "word of God", and I always felt like shit when it didn't go like it was supposed to in the sunday school books. Which is good, because feeling retarted was the final surge of energy that broke my out of my old beliefs( :alert:something to tale note of).

Well, one thing led to another and here I am today. Left wing, pothead, musician, mystic, buhhdist. But a constant sadness follows me everywhere I go. My parents are still the same. They believe I have followed the path of the Devil. They talk down to me and treat me like a fool. I can't explain anything to them becase they are SOOOO brainwashed by their beliefs. They recieve constant reassurance from they friends at church, and of course there is the TV's constant drole "don't change. it's comfortable here". I am not able to hold my parents and feel the warmth of their loving embrace like I could when I was a child. It makes me very lonely, alienated, and sad. It lines everypiece of art I make, everysong I write, every thought.

I know I'm not alone. There are others in my same place that don't know what to do about it. So this post is for you guys. I have come up with a few measley ideas to start with. The most obvious is getting our parents to smoke pot, take ACID, mushrooms or other drugs to shake them out of their brainwashing.  :alert:IMPORTANT!!!! :alert: THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU SHOULD PUT DRUGS IN THERE FOOD OR USE OTHER TRICKERY TO GET THEM FUCKED UP! They should take the drugs WILLINGY. Very negative karma from this. The results could be devestating. You don't want your parents going after their guns, or the kitchen knives, or the phone to call the cops.

This may sound rash to some, but what I think is rash is the fact that I can't recieve that sweet warm love from my family, whose blood runs through my veins, because of some fucking money grubbing religion. And if you can find a line between organized religion and the government, then you should write a book about it, and call it "The Few Differences Between a Totalitarion Government, and A Cult Following"!!!

.....Excuse me. I have degenerated to a rant again. I appologize. I don't get enough sleep.

You can try just talking to them, but that won't always work. Tell them you love them, that you wan't them to trust you, fuck I don't really know what to tell them. This is not a popular field of study.

You could take them to a psycotherapy, but if your parents are like mine, then they won't get along with a doctor who doesn't beleive in the True Word of God, and the treament will be pointless.

I wish I had more ideas. It's very difficult. It's hard to think when your heart is constantly broken.

I love you guys here at the Shroomery.org. I'd also like to give a shout out to Overgrow.org, Poppies.org, and DMT.org. I have all this love that my parents don't want that I can give away to you guys. Thank you all for taking the difficult road to enlightenment and praise for the sacrifices you have had to make and continue to make and will make in the future.

peace, love, enlightenment
BillyGrass
:heart:

-quick edit-

:crazy: :blush:I totally forgot my whole reason for this post:
If you guyz know of any media: books, movies, albumns, essays, whatever that could possibly break my parents out of their christian brainwashing, please post them here. We are our only hope. Thankyou.


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Offlinebiglo
Shroomery BabySitter
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Re: Liberating My Parents [Re: BillyGrass]
    #2339483 - 02/16/04 01:43 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Man, I wish you luck! This is a mission, we got to open people's minds if we are to bring about change. It just seems so depressing how stacked the odds are. I don't even think dosing would work, they would believe it is some kind of vision from the devil, and only their love for god helped them pull through the "hellish" trip. Then they would call the cops and have you arrested. Any info though on how we can reasonably change people's attitudes is an important first step.


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InvisibleBillyGrass
member

Registered: 03/01/01
Posts: 136
Re: Liberating My Parents [Re: biglo]
    #2339536 - 02/16/04 01:57 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Yes. I agree the odds may seem stacked. That's never stopped me before. And, you are correct. They may misinterpret the trip as a develish vision, even though my heart says that their instincts will guide them into their natural direction. This is why I think it is important to study some of Timothy Leary's writings, particularly his ideas on "set and setting" and apply them to all pyschoactive drugs, not just LSD. This will still require trust on the part of the tripper. I believe this will be the hardest part of all.

That's what is so good about/why I love this board. As soon as a problem arrives, everyone becomes frantic and posting like crazy coming up with hoards of ideas, and the problem gets solved and reworked, perfected. Then it becomes FAQ. And, no one is motivated by a paycheck or guilt. They do it because they love their neighbors, and themselves, and are truly devoted to the advancement of mankind.

i love you guys
BillyGrass


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InvisibleMOTH
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Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,359
Loc: In the jungle
Re: Liberating My Parents [Re: BillyGrass]
    #2341839 - 02/16/04 05:09 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Hi...

Reading your first post brought tears to my eyes because you essentially described what I've gone through for my entire life and hearing your story brought up alot of old, bitter feelings.  You know...the feelings of being trapped and desperate in a situation that you (as a child in your parents house) can do nothing about.

I'm actually writing a 'Testimony' about my experiences with my religious family, what went on and how I learned to follow my own path, so I'll post it in this thread when I'm done. 

In regards to your post...I have little hope for 'liberating' my parents.  It might be easier for you if you are an only child, but I have 4 younger brothers.  Luckily, I have a wonderful set of in-laws who are former potheads and LSD users and I get alot with them great.  They even know that (my kitten) grows mushies and are cool with it.  :wink: 

Thanks for sharing your story. 

truly,

ShadeGirl


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InvisibleBillyGrass
member

Registered: 03/01/01
Posts: 136
Re: Liberating My Parents [Re: MOTH]
    #2343508 - 02/16/04 11:31 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I look forward to reading your post. I feel warm and fuzzy, knowing that I'm not alone. I've got a younger sister who will be 18 this year. She is not following my lead at all. But, she is so beautiful, and I love her very much. I can't sit back and do nothing. I may not get another chance to help enlighten someone. So, if I can't educate my parents, perhaps I can educate her.

I'm glad you found a new family. I'm always trying to build one with the people I meet. I wish I could talk to them the way I talk to this BBS. Perhaps I can.

Thank you for contributing. My heart tingles for you.

peace
BillyGrass


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Offlineorange42
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Registered: 02/13/04
Posts: 3
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 12 years, 8 months
Re: Liberating My Parents [Re: BillyGrass]
    #2343516 - 02/16/04 11:34 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

yes! i know what you're dealing with. my dad ditched out when my mom was three months pregnant and the minute he left she took up religion to make up for no daddy. i have been fighting with her ever since i was eleven or twelve about god and christianity and finally, she's given up hating me for my "heathen ways". she still goes to church every sunday and says her prayers (several times) every day, but at least she accepts me now. i spent a lot of time focusing on the idea that jesus just wanted us to love each other and to love god and that even though i don't follow all the background rules, and even though i don't go to church and i don't call myself a christian, i'm still following the main message and that's what's important. i've managed to convince her that i'm still a good person and am still worthy of heaven- if mother theresa wasn't christian would that mean she should go to hell? of course, i'm nowhere near mother theresa, but the point is that god makes exceptions. i'm not perfect but that doesn't mean i'm wrong either. anyway, my mom seems a little more open minded now. i can't "unbrainwash" her, but i did my best.


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Offlineenotake2
Stop Bush's war
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Registered: 01/30/03
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Re: Liberating My Parents [Re: BillyGrass]
    #2365943 - 02/22/04 12:38 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Conversations With God is a good one for helping people to question organised religion. It is a series of three - apparantly this guy's conversation with God. New Revelations by the same author - Neale Donald Walsh, is like a summary of his ideas about religion mentioned in the other books. While the books reflect some of the good aspects of religion - spiritualism and idealism, it disses christianity and organised religion in general. You could try giving them the series or just New Revelations saying they are a great read and Christians can read them too. Maybe it will open thier minds.


--------------------
Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

"Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium

"My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.


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