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Anonymous #1
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Sexually abused as a kid
#7387329 - 09/09/07 09:25 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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I could of posted this in the Wellbeing forum but I'd rather do it here. I don't like the idea that people associate my username with all this sadness.
Recently I often drift off into memories from a long time ago, when I was about 6 or 8 years old. At first it didn't make sense. Then I noticed similarities. Then it all came together and now I know.
I was sexually abused by my grandfather when I was very little. At least once, I'm not sure about how often but at least once he lured me into his toolshed and, well, forced me to oral sex. My grandmother found out and decided to cover it up to my parents.
I have gotten confirmation that the bastard a generation earlier also has forced himself onto one of his own children, who grew up to be an emotional wreck. In that case, my grandmother had also "kept it a secret".
Fuck. My ruined childhood makes even more sense now. Its like in that movie Flatliners: there are memories that grab my attention and the deeper I go into them the more I discover. Its like a psychedelic journey of fucked upness, the memories come as imagery and thought. I won't call it flashbacks but its really vivid.
Damn now I write about this I feel it affects me a lot stronger emotionally than I thought it did. For over 20 years this has been blotted out of my memory. As I write this the visuals take me again. There is more I need to know, more to remember and experience before this can be put to rest.
My granddad abused me and it fucked up my life.
Fuck.
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Anonymous #2
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Re: Sexually abused as a kid [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#7387352 - 09/09/07 09:29 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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you need to call your grandmother out on it.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Sexually abused as a kid [Re: Anonymous #2]
#7387502 - 09/09/07 09:59 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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My grandfather died when I was 11 and my grandmother also died several years ago. I'm all thats left of the disgusting secret.
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Anonymous #3
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Re: Sexually abused as a kid [Re: Anonymous #1]
#7387519 - 09/09/07 10:04 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Tell your parents if you can. Don't worry about tarnishing his reputation for them, the cunt deserves it.
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Anonymous #4
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Re: Sexually abused as a kid [Re: Anonymous #1]
#7387592 - 09/09/07 10:17 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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I would advise telling your parents and getting therapy of some type.
I'm sorry that this happened to you.
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Anonymous #5
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Re: Sexually abused as a kid [Re: Anonymous #4]
#7387621 - 09/09/07 10:24 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: I would advise telling your parents and getting therapy of some type.
I'm sorry that this happened to you.
Thats a good place to start.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Sexually abused as a kid [Re: Anonymous #4]
#7387730 - 09/09/07 10:48 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Hmmm therapy... it's all so long ago and I'm not devastated by finding this out.
I told my father. It's not something you want to hear about your own dad, but he took it well.
I told some other family members but overall the subject is dodged. Its my personal thing I have to work with I guess. All who knew are dead, there's just me and a couple of people who don't want to deal with it. Ah well, I'll manage on my own as always.
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Anonymous #5
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Re: Sexually abused as a kid [Re: Anonymous #1]
#7387736 - 09/09/07 10:50 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Really though, therapy is a good choice.
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Anonymous #6
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Re: Sexually abused as a kid *DELETED* [Re: Anonymous #5]
#7387800 - 09/09/07 11:09 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Post deleted by AnonymousReason for deletion: x
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Anonymous #7
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Re: Sexually abused as a kid [Re: Anonymous #6]
#7389876 - 09/09/07 09:40 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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I was abused by my stepfather for 3 yrs. From age 11 to 14. Things finally stopped after I aimed a shotgun at him. At first when it was over it seemed like I told everyone about it. I could finally talk about something that had been killing me inside. Now I live with it (and the regret of not shooting his sorry ass).
Finally remembering the incident is your first step to healing. Just remember not to let it fuck with your head too much. That just gives the bastard more power over you. Counseling helped me. Just being able to talk with someone you don't think is judging you helps.
I still kind of wish I had shot the motherfucker tho.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Sexually abused as a kid [Re: Anonymous #7]
#7390783 - 09/10/07 04:42 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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If you had shot him you would've gotten legal trouble without end. It would have ruined your life more than the abuse had already done.
Yup, I got to remember it all. Mushrooms will probably help me. Then I can give it a place in my life and go from there.
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Anonymous #7
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Re: Sexually abused as a kid [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#7390943 - 09/10/07 07:23 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Exactly. And that place is in the past. Don't let it be baggage.
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Anonymous #3
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Re: Sexually abused as a kid [Re: Anonymous #1]
#7391189 - 09/10/07 09:23 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: Mushrooms will probably help me.
I really doubt it.
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Anonymous #8
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Re: Sexually abused as a kid [Re: Anonymous #1]
#7391695 - 09/10/07 12:04 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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fap fap fap
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Anonymous #9
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Re: Sexually abused as a kid [Re: Anonymous #1]
#7394828 - 09/11/07 01:50 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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My slightly older brother molested me when i was 11 At the time it really messed me up sexually. I ended up acting out predatorial behavior for a few years, and am still coming to terms with how its affected me. He brought it up a few year ago, and i said there were no hard feelings. They'r arent, i forgive him because we were kids, and he had shit happen to him too. What is haunting me these days are the things i did to other kids when i was 11-13. I go to a website called aftersilence, or after the silence, something like that. Its for abuse survivors. I feel dirty reading. I still have some of that predatory mindset *god help me* some of it gets me arosed, and i hate myself for it, But i think its helped mre to read, and understand the evil in it, instead of letting my mind play its denial trips *it wasn't so bad, it didn't happen" et all
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Anonymous #10
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Re: Sexually abused as a kid [Re: Anonymous #1]
#7394873 - 09/11/07 02:15 AM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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are you fecaldildo?
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Anonymous #11
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Theres some bad cases of this stuff in here 
I got one to add, and i thought this was bad guess not..
When I was like 4-8 I cant remember i was too young. I had a babysitter. It was one of my sisters friends, well she kinda popped in a porn and then made me come in the room, I wont ever forget that day. It was kind of a willingly rape I guess, wasnt to much of a rape because I wasnt forced. But it kinda was. And it happened more than once. It was all unprotected, and this has me scared to do std tests.
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Anonymous #7
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That's child molestation alright. That is the insidious part of it. The actual act can feel good or bad. When it feels good you get the added bonus of feeling guilty because you kind of enjoyed it. But make no mistake, it is still wrong for an adult to do that to a child.
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Anonymous #12
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Re: Sexually abused as a kid [Re: Anonymous #1]
#7398364 - 09/11/07 08:30 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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Jive turkey: banned from the anonymous forum for one year. -Seuss
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Anonymous #13
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Wow, there are some juvenile fucking assholes on this board.
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