Sinbad said:

No, I don't think it is fixable, she obviously is not so 'perfect' for you IMO. Find someone more on your wavelength spiritually, is my suggestion. Last thing it sounds like you need is a fundie xtian wife/gf.

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Sinbad said:

No, I don't think it is fixable, she obviously is not so 'perfect' for you IMO. Find someone more on your wavelength spiritually, is my suggestion. Last thing it sounds like you need is a fundie xtian wife/gf.

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Bad advice.

The situation is obviously a very serious one, and involves two dynamic, complex individuals, and an entirely unique relationship. To ignore the nature of reality in such a manner and hand down such judgement is detrimental, in my opinion.

He describes this woman as being near perfect for him, going so far as to use the term "soul mate". I think the ultimate answer for him lies within her, even if it does mean moving on. To say to someone who expresses their love for another in such a manner "Nope, its over, move on" is ridiculuous.

lolwhut said:

Yeah, i know this is what has to happen, I just wish there was a way to un-brainwash her

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Well, then you have your answer.

Tell me, how do you know that this is what needs to happen? How did you form this conclusion? Why do you feel that her way of thinking is entirely at fault?

fireworks_god said:

lolwhut said:

Yeah, i know this is what has to happen, I just wish there was a way to un-brainwash her

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Well, then you have your answer.

Tell me, how do you know that this is what needs to happen? How did you form this conclusion? Why do you feel that her way of thinking is entirely at fault?

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lolwhut said:

Well fireworks, to address the only inconsistency that you have stated would be that she feared safety for the reason of not wanting me to trip.  She actually considers it to be behavior related to heroin usage.  She literally got depressed and started bawling her eyes out when she found evidence of my growing.  It was real sad.

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Quote:

  I really like your optimistic outlook on things; however, her fundie Christian beliefs are paramount and will not be abandoned at any cost.  She still prays that I find god and Im a militant atheist for gods sake!

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I wouldn't expect anyone to just, one day, abandon their beliefs, especially if they are ingrained due to patterns of thought and behavior.

Tell me about your beliefs. It sounds you sound pretty strongly about atheism. Tell me more about it.

lolwhut said:

Sinbad said:

No, I don't think it is fixable, she obviously is not so 'perfect' for you IMO. Find someone more on your wavelength spiritually, is my suggestion. Last thing it sounds like you need is a fundie xtian wife/gf.

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Yeah, i know this is what has to happen, I just wish there was a way to un-brainwash her

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fireworks_god said:

Sinbad said:

No, I don't think it is fixable, she obviously is not so 'perfect' for you IMO. Find someone more on your wavelength spiritually, is my suggestion. Last thing it sounds like you need is a fundie xtian wife/gf.

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Bad advice.

The situation is obviously a very serious one, and involves two dynamic, complex individuals, and an entirely unique relationship. To ignore the nature of reality in such a manner and hand down such judgement is detrimental, in my opinion.

He describes this woman as being near perfect for him, going so far as to use the term "soul mate". I think the ultimate answer for him lies within her, even if it does mean moving on. To say to someone who expresses their love for another in such a manner "Nope, its over, move on" is ridiculuous.

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lolwhut said:

Well, we have broken up a few times in the past and we are still broken up now. We are both still incredibly in love with each other; however, she is unbending in beliefs.  Im Atheist, shes not.  I don't care if shes whatever religion, but then we get to talking about kids and I say she cant expose them to church until the age of 8 so that they cant be brainwashed into it and they can view it objectively.  Boy, you should have seen the reaction out of her, lets just say that it was the beginning of the end.

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Well, I definitely can understand how a reaction was likely in such a circumstance, and I understand your viewpoint that would bring you to propose that, as well.

I'll tell you something. I've been to church quite a few times as a child. Not every single Sunday, but it was there and I was rather involved with it as a child during some times more than others.... And, I'll tell you what, I don't ascribe to Christian belief. Not only that, but I don't feel that it has really harmed me to be involved in church as a child. I think the cause of this, as opposed to some who are involved with it as a child and really react to what it has done to them, is that I had a wide variety of experience in my life. It wasn't the only viewpoint. I wasn't forced into believing it.

I can understand your concern for it, especially at such an age, but please realize that, to these impressionable, potential children of yours, you will be in a position to provide an alternate viewpoint as well, so that they can think about it objectively. Unless you give me more information regarding your feelings on this matter, I'm going to have to conclude that, honestly, it isn't going to be that much of a problem for your children to be somewhat involved in church.

Quote:

  Her reaction about mushrooms is that she hasnt really been exposed to it.  So her views on it are along the lines of categorizing it along with all other "drugs."  She doesn't care if it is spiritual to me, she doesn't want to be around it, and if I choose to use it she wont be around me, "nor my kids."

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Quote:

Her way of thinking is that if she doesn't have it her way when it comes to these differences then she wont stay with me at all.  Now she is analyzing me as a long term partner and looking for the differences we have, rather than noticing that other than these differences we are fucking perfect together.

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This might be an idea that you could approach her with in communication.

Quote:

Oh, and i broke up with her 2x because i was sick of sleeping with the same person over and over again, so instead of cheating on her i broke up with her.  Bad idea, Im really learning that in life, honesty doesn't pay, at fucking all.

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lolwhut said:

Well I want to educate her on what mushrooms are, but you are right and it is going to take some effort, I don't really know if she is willing to hear me out, she looks at me like I am pathetic/sorry when she discovered I was using them and she was convinced I was a drug dealer. Our relationship is centered around us and having fun. We can be in the same room, with nothing, and just have the time of our lives. We turn into 2 little kids when we get around each other and it is more fun than you can imagine. We are best friends also, we share all of our secrets and all of our trust with each other. We met in class in college. I walked in and made eye contact with her and we both fell immediately in love. We started dating, i treated her like a princess and she knew how to act like one. She is one of the most amazing women on campus. Beauty and personality wise. We share pretty much all of our personality characteristics, we are both outgoing, daring, adventurous, big spenders, enjoy the finer things in life, childish, and definatly.


I can say, that my reason for being atheist is not being raised in a religious environment. My father never ever pushed religion on me and I was allowed to make up my own mind. I would go to church socially when I was a kid, but once i started getting older I was like, "wtf why do I come to this place to give money and have a bad time." Not to mention, I was on a 3 year quest to discover the true meaning of life, i joined the Freemasons thinking they might know, i joined a college fraternity thinking socializing was the meaning of life, and i studied religion constantly when it dawned on me that it was merely a tool of control to be used against the stupid majority (not stupid for the sake of being stupid, just ignorant to the facts.) After realizing that I started reading richard dawkins and sam harris a lot and they fortified my beliefs in atheism.

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lolwhut said:

Well I want to educate her on what mushrooms are, but you are right and it is going to take some effort, I don't really know if she is willing to hear me out, she looks at me like I am pathetic/sorry when she discovered I was using them and she was convinced I was a drug dealer.

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Well, if it is any consolation, it really does sound that she simply has misconceptions regarding them, from not really knowing. The best way to approach it, perhaps, bearing in mind the right way to approach open, honest communication (), would be to simply ask her questions. Don't tell her what to think, don't tell her what is, but ask her questions. Ask her what she knows about them. Ask her where she has gathered this information. Ask her if she knows anyone who has taken them. Often, someone knew some moron who had tons of problems, and, incidentally, used a certain drug, and they would think that the drug was responsible. If so, question that. Propose possibilities. She would need to form her own conclusions, and presenting the way to think would work agansit this; it would back-fire. If you are aware of the nature of the subject, and are, yourself, a good source of information, you will be in a unique position to provide her with the opportunity to build her own understanding. I think that the first step would be to question her understanding, so you understand what she understands. This way, you know what you are working with, and can find ways to introduce new thought.

Regarding what you were saying earlier, about how you feel she is focusing upon your differences amongst yourselves, and not paying enough attention to what you two share, I would urge you to keep this in mind when you consider your own approach to and views of this situation. If you stress yourself out about this and lose perspective on all of what you share, then it is going to be more difficult for her to keep that perspective as well.

Quote:

  Our relationship is centered around us and having fun.  We can be in the same room, with nothing, and just have the time of our lives.  We turn into 2 little kids when we get around each other and it is more fun than you can imagine.  We are best friends also, we share all of our secrets and all of our trust with each other.  We met in class in college.  I walked in and made eye contact with her and we both fell immediately in love.  We started dating, i treated her like a princess and she knew how to act like one.  She is one of the most amazing women on campus.  Beauty and personality wise.  We share pretty much all of our personality characteristics, we are both outgoing, daring, adventurous, big spenders, enjoy the finer things in life, childish, and definatly.

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I loved reading that. It reminds me of what I myself feel about a certain someone. I must say that this is something to be cherished. Live in that love, immerse yourself in that experience, and it will be much easier to work with her to transcend this.

Quote:

I can say, that my reason for being atheist is not being raised in a religious environment.  My father never ever pushed religion on me and I was allowed to make up my own mind.  I would go to church socially when I was a kid, but once i started getting older I was like, "wtf why do I come to this place to give money and have a bad time."  Not to mention, I was on a 3 year quest to discover the true meaning of life, i joined the Freemasons thinking they might know, i joined a college fraternity thinking socializing was the meaning of life, and i studied religion constantly when it dawned on me that it was merely a tool of control to be used against the stupid majority (not stupid for the sake of being stupid, just ignorant to the facts.)  After realizing that I started reading richard dawkins and sam harris a lot and they fortified my beliefs in atheism.

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It sounds like you have had a great path regarding this.

Perhaps your formation of a disbelief in something that cannot be evidenced either way works in your relationship to polarize her own views to the opposite end of the spectrum? Those who are religious might not have the understanding regarding the nature of reality that you have found, and they might not realize the nature of the structure that they have adopted, but with this understanding of your own, do you not feel compassion for them? When certain religions are carried to an extreme, to the point where the individuals are interfering with the life and liberty of others, it is a serious cause for concern, but if its simply them living their life and all that, I personally say live and let live....

You've found a very amazing being, you know, based upon the ways you've described your relationship with her.

lolwhut said:

Well, to be honest, it just got old, and I think i respected her too much to be the sexual deviant i really am.  I think i have came on her face once and that was here recently.  But the things I do with these other girls is just ridiculous.  I facefuck them, if they throw up i make them keep going, I spit in their mouths while they suck my dick, i pull out while im fucking them and come inside their mouth and make them swallow, ass slapping, and eventually, with this one chick im going to blindfold her, handcuff her arms behind her back, and just violate her entire body.

I think i respect my current girlfriend way too much to do alot of that stuff to her :/

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Then you should repent your 'sinful' ways and convert then my blessed child of God! You will only be truly happy once the wickedness of your evil nature has been beaten into submission by the word of God! Then you can marry this wonderful girl and live in happy harmony knowing that you are both saved and destined to be by 'His' side.