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OfflineMANNALORD
Vagabond Ninjafor Hire
Registered: 07/02/01
Posts: 128
Loc: F- R
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
What the fuck's my problem?
    #1619165 - 06/08/03 10:12 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

My whole life, i've always been different. I know i'm not like anyone else, even my closest friends cant bring themselves to understand me. I don't mean to sounds cocky, but i've always been fairly intelligent, I could speak extremely well at a young age, had the academic skills but ive never applied myself, school bores the shit out of me. I could never find anything to hold my interest for long enough, daily I found myself bored with life, looking for something. During my earlier teenage years, i discovered drugs like marijuana and mushrooms, never was heavy into drinking but I would call myself a pothead back then. Weed was a way to connect with my friends and do something, it held my interest for awhile but i knew it was nothign special, I began to get very lonely and extremely depressed at times. I needed someone i could talk to, but there was never anyone there. I dreamt of a perfect girl, one who could become mine and make my life perfect, someone who could understand my problems and still love me for them, someone who would not judge me. About 2 months ago I made a great female friend, we started talking alot and hanging out, things were great. About a month ago we started dating, thens went on as before, we were great friends and hung out alot, i thought i had found the crutch i had needed all my life. I felt extremely happy, like I was in control of life and loving it, I cut back on the weed, my marks went up and i was feeling awesome. But recently i havent been able to be myself around her, theres so many things i want to say to her but cant, and our differences have been coming between us. She has lots of guy friends, and i recently discovered one of them likes her more then a friend. She wants to be with me and i know that she thinks nothing more of him then a friend, but it still bothers me. When she spends time with him or he calls it hurts. I can't tell her how i feel, its very hard for me, but things like this have been on my mind and I can't figure out what to do. I wish i had a way to forget all the shit in my life and just be happy, I feel just like i did back when i was younger, lonely and lost without any answers. I feel as if I like her more then she likes me, this relationship has been great but its killing me lately, I dont want it to end i just wish i had an answer for my problems, its complicated and you probably wont understand what im trying to say here. I cant sleep, my mind is racing constantly and i get moody, what the fuck is my problem????


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Live and Die in FALL RIVER


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Offlineatomikfunksoldier
T'was born oftrue in the yearof the cock!

Registered: 04/07/03
Posts: 1,500
Loc: a human-infested anthill
Last seen: 13 years, 2 months
Re: What the fuck's my problem? [Re: MANNALORD]
    #1619214 - 06/08/03 10:39 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

you jacked my style punk.

"this relationship has been great but its killing me lately,"

then break up with her, do you go to university? there are plently of ladies, relationships come and go, if its not going well, then end it, once you find a new girlfriend (or find solice in recreational sex) you will realize how silly stressing out is.


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enjoy the entertaining indentity i have constructed for you while you can.


Edited by atomikfunksoldier (06/08/03 10:40 PM)


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OfflineGrav
 User Gallery

Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 4,454
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: What the fuck's my problem? [Re: MANNALORD]
    #1619260 - 06/08/03 11:04 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

I think you stated your problem clearly.

You're looking for a "crutch"... You'll be lost in despair until you either begin to stand on your own two feet, or until you find some sort of temporary escape from yourself. (like a girl)

dont you know this to be true?

accept everything about yourself and just go with it one day at a time. believe in the change.


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Invisible1stimer
Religion=Rape
Registered: 11/18/01
Posts: 1,280
Loc: Amerika
Re: What the fuck's my problem? [Re: Grav]
    #1619294 - 06/08/03 11:17 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

i was just going to say exactly what grav said untill i read his post. so i agree with him. you sound alot like me. I always thought i was different but nobody sees it. i ask my fiancee if there is anything extraordinary or different about me but i never get the answer im looking for. I see myself as insightfull and as having a unique "enlightened" perspective but maybe im just jaded. I feel like there is something constantly keeping my ego in check like my ego controling itself. blablabla nonsense i dunno.


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ash dingy donker mo gollyhopper patty popiton rockstop bueno mayo riggedy jig bobber johnathan pattywhacker gogboob t-shirt monkey.

There is such emotion in the distortion.


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Anonymous

Re: What the fuck's my problem? [Re: 1stimer]
    #1619326 - 06/08/03 11:32 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

grav gave excellent advice. very well said.


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OfflineGrav
 User Gallery

Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 4,454
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: What the fuck's my problem? [Re: 1stimer]
    #1619333 - 06/08/03 11:37 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

yea, I know exactly what you mean 1stimer, that thing always keeping your ego in check... I definately respect it, but it gets out of hand sometimes. I've had moments where i've been like enough is enough, I don't care if this is my ego talking, there has to be more to living than just keeping yourself 'in check'.

i think it goes against a potential flow if you let it control you.


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OfflineCougheeman
enthusiast
Registered: 07/03/02
Posts: 214
Last seen: 12 years, 11 months
Re: What the fuck's my problem? [Re: MANNALORD]
    #1619372 - 06/08/03 11:55 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Man sounded just like me a while back. You are stressing out too much, she's your girl, you should feel at ease talking about anything with her. She wouldn't have gone out with you if she didn't like you, i would flat out state my mind to her, tell her everything that you are thinking; and if she accepts you still then she's worth it. If not, move on, that dream girl you were looking for isn't her.

Since this post is in the spirituality section i will give you a bit of insight on what i think is going on. You mentioned that you discovered drugs, mostly psychedelic based substances. That held your interest for a while, yet after a period you got bored, you desired something else. Then you mentioned a perfect girl, your mind associated this girl for love that was missing in your life. You found a girl, yet you felt unconnected after a time, just like how the substances were; why is this?

You are searching for your native state; a state which you are in perfect harmony with body, mind and soul. Everyone searches for it; the man who buys a new Ferrari, the scientist who searches for true knowledge, the average person who feels un complete with life searches for love, and some people desire to break away from society and live in total nature; all these people are searching for this. Not many find it, and live life from one fleeting pleasure to the next, never really completing anything.


--------------------
Aum Namah Sivaya


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OfflineCleverName
the cloudsshould know meby now...

Registered: 08/26/02
Posts: 1,121
Loc: red earth painted with mi...
Last seen: 11 years, 14 days
Re: What the fuck's my problem? [Re: Cougheeman]
    #1619430 - 06/09/03 12:24 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

  nicely put...whatever your looking for is in you, i would advize some meditation, go for some walks...overall, just remember, everything is fleeting...
He who binds himself to a joy
Does the winged life destroy.
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in eternity's sun rise. :grin: 


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if you can't find the truth right where you are, where else do you expect to find it?

this is the purpose


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InvisibleSclorch
Clyster

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 07/13/99
Posts: 4,805
Loc: On the Brink of Madness
Re: What the fuck's my problem? [Re: Cougheeman]
    #1619435 - 06/09/03 12:25 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Love isn't something that is attained... it is created.
A sharing of egos.
:wink:


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Note: In desperate need of a cure...


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OfflineGrav
 User Gallery

Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 4,454
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: What the fuck's my problem? [Re: CleverName]
    #1619436 - 06/09/03 12:26 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

moral of the story: be wary of things that make you feel like you're being saved.


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OfflinePhluck
Carpal Tunnel
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Registered: 04/11/99
Posts: 11,393
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 10 months, 6 days
Re: What the fuck's my problem? [Re: MANNALORD]
    #1619580 - 06/09/03 02:00 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

"My whole life, i've always been different. I know i'm not like anyone else, even my closest friends cant bring themselves to understand me. "

Funny thing is, every single teenager says that. All of them.


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"I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson
http://phluck.is-after.us


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OfflineStrumpling
Neuronaut
Registered: 10/11/02
Posts: 7,571
Loc: Hyperspace
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
Re: What the fuck's my problem? [Re: MANNALORD]
    #1619654 - 06/09/03 03:03 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

your problem may be that you think you are more different than you are..


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Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE


Edited by Strumpling (06/09/03 03:03 AM)


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Offlineenotake2
Stop Bush's war
 User Gallery

Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 1,457
Loc: Comfy chair in my lounger...
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
Re: What the fuck's my problem? [Re: MANNALORD]
    #1622946 - 06/10/03 03:59 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

I read this book once that said that if you find yourself overconcerned with a relationship/ feel very dependant on someone all of a sudden, you should take your mind off it and concentrate on your own activities and the other things that make you happy and just see what happens. This is good for you and can be good for the relationship. I find this works for me.  I also think if the other person ends up not wanting you, in a way they are doing you a favour because they are saying the relationship is not ' the one' -  I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't want me. If you've found someone once you can do it again. :smile:


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Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

"Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium

"My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.


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