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Letters from Jail
    #7136002 -

okay, so my boyfriend is in prison right now, and I have been getting the funniest letters from him, basically reporting to me that:
1. jail has the ”finest bitches” and according to him his roommate has the tightest ass
2. his NEW jail names are Harry pothead, Hippie, Kelse from that 70s show, Model, and Professor (his old ones were Stash and Governator). what makes me laugh is he spelled "proffesor" wrong LMFAOOOO
3. he draws hearts all over every single goddamn letter HAHAHAHAHAHAHAh what guy in jail does this?!??!?!?!
4. ever since he got moved to high security he has so much better access to drugs and weapons, and has been doing morphine all day in there WTF?!?!!?!?!
5. his 6 pack abs have turned into 10 pack abs from so much working out

So basically, what I got from those letters is that I need to start pumping 'roids to match him... anyways, I got another pretty funny letter and felt compelled to share this with the rest of the shroomery.

"So yeah I had to brawl in a fight with 144 inmates this coming morning because of one of "the woods" was instigating the whole thing with the "south siders" 2 days ago. They were like either you brawl or youre fucked after that in here, and I was like well I was raised by hippies so I make love not war lol. But I'll help fellow "woods" by tearing off other people who are beating them. The "comrade" as they call him respected that and then proceeded to go to bed with me LOL.

It's not what you think, he just sat down on my bunk and told me about himself. Funny how many hard asses I find that will bring out their sensitive side if I appproach them right. Also amazes me how many men I can turn gay, or at least bring it out in them. Just a bit ago I had like ten guys asking me to talk with them, then instantly asked to check me out. "Leme see your abs," "no man show em your ass," "Pose like this dogg!" One guy got a lil too excited and got called out for having a stiffy when I showed him LOL. Sadly none of them are my type, they're just not cuddlers, you know? LOL

You'd be excited to know that we shower together, sometimes like 15 guys or more sharing 5 shower heads. The mexicans in here sing, wash, and shave each other, and spend an hour or more just hanging out in the shower, lol. I haven't seen so many dicks in one place at one time even in the gayest porn, LOL. All of them horny as hell too. This guy in my cell jacks off like 2-6times a day in front of everyone. Guys run their fingers through my hair, pinch my nipples, even caress my leg or arm. I never thought jail was so gay, lol.

All of them say they are straight but I wonder about half of them. And uh... some guy just asked me if I was writing to you while he walked by poking my stomach and calling me "rope dogg" LOL. I should feel special apparently, because I'm his #1 "rope dogg" according to him.

uh, what else... There's a cell a bit down that has lights that strobe constantly and the deputies won't get it fixed. Must drive those g uys insane having lights flash 24/7 LOL. I suggested we all go over there and throw one bitchin' rave. "

Then he proceeded to talk to me about how the guards caught him doing some dumb shit, so as punishment they are making him sleep by himself in a concrete floor no windows not even light... i wonder if he stays in there long enough he'll get an all-natural DMT release LMAO


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https://www.instagram.com/junelilac1/

https://www.reddit.com/user/asianvixen4u

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Re: Letters from Jail [Re: Crystal G]
    #7136013 -

This thread makes me want to go out and get arrested.


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Hi  :scrambled:

My god... it's full of stars...

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Re: Letters from Jail [Re: StrandedVoyager]
    #7136020 -

Wow that kinda cracks me up in a weird way. My buddy was in prison at the beginining of the year and he was sending me and his girlfriend letters about how it was going and it pretty much brought me to tears. I guess it was from the fact that I haven't seen him in so long and he decided I was the one he wanted to talk to. Either way, whether your taking it well or not, being locked up blows, at least it sounds like he's dealing with it as well as he can.

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Re: Letters from Jail [Re: StrandedVoyager]
    #7136021 -

hahahahaahhaah strangedvoyager yea ferreals. apparently the morphine and jailhouse crack he bought was halfway decent...

on the negative side though he got a bad infection in his arm from shooting up some dirty drugs, and the guards have been denying him treatment for weeks =[

anybody that feels like writing to him as a penpal, let me know! (note: i will only message back people who i have spoken to on a regular basis at least)


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https://www.instagram.com/junelilac1/

https://www.reddit.com/user/asianvixen4u

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Re: Letters from Jail [Re: Crystal G]
    #7136121 -

Haha I'd write a random guy in jail, why not? I was in jail several times, so I know how fuckin' boring it really is(aside from the fun loads of gay sex, of course).I would have loved to get some random letter while in jail.......

Where is this guy, Sweden?


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Re: Letters from Jail [Re: The Crow]
    #7136131 -

no. hes in the USA.

i know you somehwat crow, so imma hit you up ia mail. brb


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https://www.instagram.com/junelilac1/

https://www.reddit.com/user/asianvixen4u

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Re: Letters from Jail [Re: Crystal G]
    #7136134 -

It's disconcerting that no one has mentioned this guy apparently enjoys the homosexual atmosphere, not to mention his own gay escapades in the joint.

:nonono:

Death before lock up!

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Oh no! [Re: Left Nut City]
    #7136174 -

Eh...
Whatever floats his boat. Which in his case is gay sex. Yes. Gay sex floats his boat.


HEY!Crystal G, how come on your myspace page it said you were in Stockholm, Sweden? I've been duped!


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Re: Letters from Jail [Re: Left Nut City]
    #7136178 -

:heart:
Left Nut City said:
It's disconcerting that no one has mentioned this guy apparently enjoys the homosexual atmosphere, not to mention his own gay escapades in the joint.

:nonono:

Death before lock up!


oh come on dude... my b/fs a pronounced bisexual, marking up even more homosexual male on male experiences than straight experiences. i personally think its cool, it gives him character.

california was also the first state in america to allow conjugal visits to gay partners. its one thing i love about the country


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https://www.instagram.com/junelilac1/

https://www.reddit.com/user/asianvixen4u

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Re: Letters from Jail [Re: Crystal G]
    #7136186 -

It's not for me, Crystal G, but your candor is cool!  Best wishes for your b/f's speedy release!

:smile:

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Re: Oh no! [Re: The Crow]
    #7136187 -

The Crow said:
HEY!Crystal G, how come on your myspace page it said you were in Stockholm, Sweden? I've been duped!


Because I was planning to visit Stockholm, Helsinborg, and Copenhagen (Denmark), but then I got accepted to uni in Perth (Australia), London (UK), and Las Vegas (America). So.... I gotta save up my money for that. Considerin I'm 21 and not a rich spoiled brat, my parents aren't gonna pay for SHIT... so i gotta save up my own money. tuition fare and everything.


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https://www.instagram.com/junelilac1/

https://www.reddit.com/user/asianvixen4u

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Re: Oh no! [Re: The Crow]
    #7136189 -

I heard jail is as homophobic, or more so than the general public. One guy who just got out of jail sai they had posters on the wal describing how to make psuedo-ephedrine from a wildlife salt-block used to atract deer. Supposedly it is 90% psuedo-ephedrine, and the poster goes on to describe how to isolate the ephedrine from the salt and create methamphetamine. jail is a university for law-abiding citizens, aint no buttsex going on.


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Let it not be remembered
That mycelium eats detritus and dies
But that life in all it's glory
Counts mycelium to be on it's side.

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Re: Letters from Jail [Re: Crystal G]
    #7136190 -

I only had many gay experiences in jail..........:shrug:


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Re: Letters from Jail [Re: Left Nut City]
    #7136191 -

Left Nut City said:
It's not for me, Crystal G, but your candor is cool!  Best wishes for your b/f's speedy release!

:smile:


I dunno what a candor is, but I'm assuming it means "avatar" or "profile icon"?  heh.... thanks....... i found it years ago when i typed up "black crackhead" in google. hehhh..... cheeers!!!!!


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https://www.instagram.com/junelilac1/

https://www.reddit.com/user/asianvixen4u

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Re: Letters from Jail [Re: The Crow]
    #7136196 -

The Crow said:
I only had many gay experiences in jail..........:shrug:


I question your veracity.


--------------------
Let it not be remembered
That mycelium eats detritus and dies
But that life in all it's glory
Counts mycelium to be on it's side.

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Re: Letters from Jail [Re: Crystal G]
    #7136199 -

Crystal G said:
Left Nut City said:
It's not for me, Crystal G, but your candor is cool!  Best wishes for your b/f's speedy release!

:smile:


I dunno what a candor is, but I'm assuming it means "avatar" or "profile icon"?  heh.... thanks....... i found it years ago when i typed up "black crackhead" in google. hehhh..... cheeers!!!!!


Main Entry: can·dor
Pronunciation: 'kan-d&r, -"dor
Function: noun
Etymology: French & Latin; French candeur, from Latin candor, from candEre -- more at CANDID
1 a : WHITENESS, BRILLIANCE b obsolete : unstained purity
2 : freedom from prejudice or malice : FAIRNESS
3 archaic : KINDLINESS
4 : unreserved, honest, or sincere expression : FORTHRIGHTNESS <the candor with which he acknowledged a weakness in his own case -- Aldous Huxley>

Which college are you going to again????

:tongue2:

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Re: Letters from Jail [Re: Left Nut City]
    #7136209 -

Left Nut City said:
I dunno what a candor is, but I'm assuming it means "avatar" or "profile icon"?  heh.... thanks....... i found it years ago when i typed up "black crackhead" in google. hehhh..... cheeers!!!!!


Main Entry: can·dor
Pronunciation: 'kan-d&r, -"dor
Function: noun
Etymology: French & Latin; French candeur, from Latin candor, from candEre -- more at CANDID
1 a : WHITENESS, BRILLIANCE b obsolete : unstained purity
2 : freedom from prejudice or malice : FAIRNESS
3 archaic : KINDLINESS
4 : unreserved, honest, or sincere expression : FORTHRIGHTNESS <the candor with which he acknowledged a weakness in his own case -- Aldous Huxley>

Which college are you going to again????

:tongue2:


heeahahheahehahdhaehe sorry you will have to forgive me,
im shitfaced as,
actually my dad woke me from a drunken stupor (i was passed out before this)

the one college i really really realy wanted to get into (that i got accepted to) was the Royal Veterinary College in london..... the reason I wanted to go is because the UK actually created the first collge for veterinary studies in the WORLD... but its expensive... around $11k a year MINIMUM for international students.... like  i would pay that much for graduate school... but regular school NAHHH FUCK THAT LOL


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https://www.instagram.com/junelilac1/

https://www.reddit.com/user/asianvixen4u

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Re: Letters from Jail [Re: Crystal G]
    #7136277 -

You question my veracity...........oh well


btw, go to the bottom of your page, where it says "related threads"
Click on the second from the bottom, titled "Anyone have interestin jail stories?"

there you will find my confessions


And Crystal G, give me your boyfriends prison adress so I can send him interesting pictures.


Oh, and in realationt o your college dilemna, doesn't your CBT pornography get you a decent amount of money?


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Re: Letters from Jail [Re: Crystal G]
    #7136501 -

Hahaha, my manager used to call me Harry Pothead.


--------------------
The best way to live
is to be like water
For water benefits all things
and goes against none of them
It provides for all people
and even cleanses those places
a man is loath to go
In this way it is just like Tao        ~Daodejing

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Re: Letters from Jail [Re: Crystal G]
    #7136674 -

Your bf sounds pretty cool.

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