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Honesty?
    #6532485 -

i often find my self TOO honest, more like brutally honest with people (not even close friends just people...) and i'm starting to think it might not be the best approach :shrug:

i've had this conversation with a couple of girls a couple of nights ago, i just met them and we had this deep conversation about our bad drug experiences and how they effected our lives. and looking at that in retrospect i'm not sure i'd like just anyone to know all those things about me, i could have kept more privet about some of that and still carry my point across...

how do you deal with honesty? how honest are you with your self and others?
do you try to be gentle when talking honestly about sensitive issues or do you just say what you think?

again i tend to be brutally honest which sometimes is a problem since it makes me so exposed to everyone (i think i try to make people see the extreme me - for better or worse - first  so there won't be any surprises later :smirk:)
it also exposes other people often which might make them uncomfortable...


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Re: Honesty? [Re: Simisu]
    #6532488 -

Your problem is'nt with being too honest, it is with being too open. You have to know when to speak about certain things, and when to say nothing. personally i try to wait until i know someone a little before i tell them these things, although this has'nt always been the case in the past, resulting in a loss of face.


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Re: Honesty? [Re: Simisu]
    #6532491 -

Im brutally honest aswell.


I'd say, you gotta choose your battles. Not everyone needs to know everything about you, or like you said, you'll feel exposed.

But, i think its good to be *up front* and *to the point*...or more-or-less straight up - but at times, say im with family, ill put on the happy gloss-everything-over-face and do my bit..


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GO OUTSIDE.

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Re: Honesty? [Re: PDU]
    #6532505 -

I’m in much the same boat as you.

When I get into conversations, even with strangers, I just say whatever’s on my mind. And yeah, it doesn’t always go so well.

People tend to think I come on way too strong, and it makes them nervous.

But here’s the thing: who you are is all you have, and if it’s in your heart to be an open book, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

I mean, if you’re in a situation where saying what you want could cause you harm – for example: telling your boss he’s a moron (assuming you like your job and/or need the money) – then you definitely need to learn when to bite your tongue.

And that’s a hard thing to do, or at least for me it is.

I almost feel like I have a compulsion to let it all out. I crave understanding from people.

But regardless, I think as long as you can keep yourself in check when it is absolutely dire you don’t say anything (and learn to recognize when those moments are), then honestly – fuck ‘em!

I mean that. Because in my experiences, you shouldn’t live a censored life for the 99 people who think you’re strange – you should live strong and just be you, and that’s when you’ll find that one-in-100 person who thinks you are incredible.

I only have four good friends to my name, but if you met them, you’d think I was the richest gal in the world for having found four people who understand me and appreciate me as deeply as they do.

So I guess you have to ask yourself what you’re looking for in life.

If talking in the manner you do is making you nervous, then by all means try some new techniques in your conversations. But don’t go around thinking you’re a social misfit. I think people like you may just be exactly what society needs!


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"Something else I'm getting tired of in this country is all this stupid talk I have to listen to about children. That's all you hear about anymore, children: 'Help the children, save the children, protect the children.' You know what I say? Fuck the children!"

-George Carlin

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Re: Honesty? [Re: PDU]
    #6532506 -

when i'm being honest i realize i might be WRONG about certain things but i just give MY perspective whether it's right or wrong and i expect people to understand that, but obviously i can't really take it for granted that anyone would understand right? it comes off as being pretentious and vain :smirk:

there was this one time for example... i went to get my cheque from a gov office after working enough time in a shitty job (you get a sort of incentive to work these kinds of jobs and i did my "time" :smirk:) anyway the clerk asked me why it took me so long to start working so i just told her "i got out of the army and started smoking drugs so it took me some time to figure out what i wanted to do" she was SHOCKED and said something along these lines "oh my, and you're ok now right?" :lol: all concerned as if i was smoking crack all day and living in the streets lol... i just smoked a lot of hash...

so yeah i realize it's not always the best solution and of course it depends on the delivery and i can't help but be "Brutally" honest :shurg:

but if i just shut up i feel like i'm lying ya know?
i feel like i'll have to keep not telling the truth about something if i don't come out with it at first... as if i can't change my mind about anything or seem different from time to time, i keep wanting to stay the same but i guess its impossible right?
this is fucked up :tongue:
i mean, this is not something i'd like the world to know about me and yet here i am typing it up for ya'll to read and analyze, WTF right?
and i'd probably discuss this with anyone i get the chance to, even people who can directly influence my life (while you guys influence me it's still different then people i actually meet)
so... WTF?
i can't decide if its a good thing or a bad thing, do i need to tone it down or what?


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Re: Honesty? [Re: Simisu]
    #6533035 -

"...but if i just shut up i feel like i'm lying ya know?"

If it feels wrong, don't change, just continue what you are doing! :sun:


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Re: Honesty? [Re: ShroomGoddess]
    #6533186 -

ShroomGoddess said:
I mean, if you’re in a situation where saying what you want could cause you harm – for example: telling your boss he’s a moron (assuming you like your job and/or need the money) – then you definitely need to learn when to bite your tongue.


well that kind of thing is not a problem but i'd probably be upfront about the fact that i use drugs to my boss for example :smirk:
(and actually all my recent bosses knew i'm a "stoner", it's not really easy to hide when you're dreadlocked and you just look the type... and i wouldn't deny it anyway)


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:mushdance::sanpedro::peyote::mushroom2: :heart: Shr:supershroom::supershroom:mery :heart: :mushroom2::peyote::sanpedro::mushdance:
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      :sun: Please help spread live Salvia Divinorum :sun:


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Re: Honesty? [Re: Simisu]
    #6533266 -

Theres honesty, and theres telling people shit about you when they never asked you.

Are you being honest? Or are you running your mouth?


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\m/ Spanksta \m/

"do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?"

"MolokoMilkPlus said:
I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job"

"tactik said:
respect the can."


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Re: Honesty? [Re: eligal]
    #6533279 -

see, i'm not so sure :smirk:


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Re: Honesty? [Re: Simisu]
    #6543623 -

i think i'm just TOO naive?
i spent last night with this AMAZING girl... eventually the question of my sexual history and experience came up and i said some VERY stupid things in retrospect!!!

as soon as i left her place i started thinking what i said over and realized how BAD she can interpret it :smirk:
i just assume everyone realize i'm being honest rather then sly or whatever, because if she doesn't trust me 100% right now she might think i was just looking for some sex and i plan to disappear pretty soon :crazy: (thing is, i'm not experienced at all but most girls assume i'm this supper experienced guy that'll shag their socks off :shrug: and it sucks ass since i've never been able to follow their expectations YET :smirk:)

hopefully though i didn't scare her or turn her off some how...
she's fucking great though :tongue:

i don't want to get too graphic but she's been dancing since she was 4 years old! yummmm :tongue:


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Re: Honesty? [Re: Simisu]
    #6544050 -

You've got to use a little bit of social tact. Be smart.
Think about the big picture, and what you are ultimately trying to accomplish in your dealings with other people.

It's not dishonest to want smooth communication with your friends, family, strangers, etc.


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