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lukeboots
fresh futuristic

Registered: 02/04/04
Posts: 19,728
Loc: Grand Ole Operating Syste...
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Brutal Honesty
#5404405 - 03/15/06 04:32 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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It's recently come to my attention that in my attempts to be completely honest and straight-forward with everyone I encounter, I tend to be rather brutal in my delivery.
Just today, I was incredibly fed up with a girl who apparently thought we were good friends. I never intended her to get this impression, and was never exactly a nice person around her. She just rubbed me the wrong way. So, I let her know how I felt today. She is a mooch, tries to make herself look good by telling stories and talking up all her adventures to heights that are just obnoxious, and can be embarassing around my friends. Was I wrong in letting her know this? I know that the truth can really sting; but I'm of the belief that after some time, you will settle down and be able to look at someone's opinions from a non-biased perspective. If you're somewhat intelligent, at least.
Anyone else have this brutal honesty thing going on? I just feel like putting on 'a face' and not letting people know exactly how I feel is deception, at some level.
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funky ass music: Planet of Dinosaurs // Rich Whiskey
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CherryBom
Yoga Gypsy


Registered: 12/26/98
Posts: 11,177
Loc: Ontario
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Re: Brutal Honesty [Re: lukeboots]
#5404416 - 03/15/06 04:35 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Sure it's important to be honest with the people in your life. Some scenarios would probably be better just to let it go then to hurt someone because you feel like you need to get something off your shoulders... 
I guess it depends a lot of on the person you feel you need to be honest with and what your intentions are with that honesty.
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Liz
Owl Lady



Registered: 11/16/04
Posts: 6,962
Loc: Massachusetts
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Re: Brutal Honesty [Re: lukeboots]
#5404421 - 03/15/06 04:36 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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I'm glad there's still some people like you left. I'm always honest, and lots of people think I'm a bitch because of it. You should always be honest, it's the best policy.
-------------------- Remember, remember the fifth of November The gunpowder treason and plot. I see no reason why gunpowder treason Should ever be forgot.
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lukeboots
fresh futuristic

Registered: 02/04/04
Posts: 19,728
Loc: Grand Ole Operating Syste...
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Re: Brutal Honesty [Re: CherryBom]
#5404431 - 03/15/06 04:37 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Yeah, I agree. It's better to let things go quite often - but in my case today, for example, this girl could not take a hint. I tried. Oh lord, I tried. No matter if I was rude to her, let her know my thoughts, etc etc, she just thought it was part of my personality to be an ass sometimes, and continued to treat the relationship as if I was her best friend.
You're right though.. it does really depend on the situation. I'm gonna have to work on my way with words.
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funky ass music: Planet of Dinosaurs // Rich Whiskey
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lukeboots
fresh futuristic

Registered: 02/04/04
Posts: 19,728
Loc: Grand Ole Operating Syste...
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Re: Brutal Honesty [Re: Liz]
#5404439 - 03/15/06 04:39 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Thanks Liz. I wish more people were honest like us too. It really does give the impression that we're assholes, but life is just not always peachy. Them's the facts.
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funky ass music: Planet of Dinosaurs // Rich Whiskey
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Redstorm
Prince of Bugs



Registered: 10/08/02
Posts: 44,175
Last seen: 3 months, 11 days
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Re: Brutal Honesty [Re: lukeboots]
#5404443 - 03/15/06 04:40 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Yep, I have the same problem. I got kicked out of my house a couple years ago for telling my mom she was selfish and childish.
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lukeboots
fresh futuristic

Registered: 02/04/04
Posts: 19,728
Loc: Grand Ole Operating Syste...
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Re: Brutal Honesty [Re: Redstorm]
#5404452 - 03/15/06 04:42 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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For real. And if she was, she most likely needed to hear it, so she could realize how others view her.
To take a word from Eyedea, "Rain, everyone wants to get out of the rain, it falls from all skies so I can't complain, without the water you can't have the flame, I will be reincarnated as rain."
Something like that anyway.
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funky ass music: Planet of Dinosaurs // Rich Whiskey
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: Brutal Honesty [Re: lukeboots]
#5404463 - 03/15/06 04:44 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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I wish more people would be honest with me. I never get the feeling that people are being completely forthright with the things they say.
I keep my opinions to myself most of the time and just try and co-exist peacefully, but if something comes up...I will be totally honest.
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lukeboots
fresh futuristic

Registered: 02/04/04
Posts: 19,728
Loc: Grand Ole Operating Syste...
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Re: Brutal Honesty [Re: MOTH]
#5404475 - 03/15/06 04:47 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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You'd probably get the feeling that I'm being forthright with you, but you'd probably also get your feelings hurt. Honesty is just the way I live my life, offensive or not.
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funky ass music: Planet of Dinosaurs // Rich Whiskey
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TYL3R


Registered: 11/19/04
Posts: 17,493
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Re: Brutal Honesty [Re: lukeboots]
#5404491 - 03/15/06 04:49 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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How many girls have you made cry this week ?
Edited by TYL3R (03/15/06 04:51 PM)
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lukeboots
fresh futuristic

Registered: 02/04/04
Posts: 19,728
Loc: Grand Ole Operating Syste...
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Re: Brutal Honesty [Re: TYL3R]
#5404500 - 03/15/06 04:51 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Zero. I'd better get on top of my game.
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funky ass music: Planet of Dinosaurs // Rich Whiskey
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TYL3R


Registered: 11/19/04
Posts: 17,493
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Re: Brutal Honesty [Re: lukeboots]
#5404511 - 03/15/06 04:53 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Fer serious.
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Penguarky Tunguin
f n o r d

Registered: 08/08/04
Posts: 17,192
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Re: Brutal Honesty [Re: lukeboots]
#5404521 - 03/15/06 04:55 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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I'm the exact same way. I never pull any punches and tell it like it is 100% of the time. Especially when giving out advice. If the person who is asking me for advice is a friend, I'll usually give a warning, saying something to the effect of "you know how I tell it like it is, and this will sound mean, but it's how I do it" and then I saw my thing. It seems to work ok. My friends appreciate it (not while they're drunk though ) while people who do not know me, do not appreciate it, but I'm also of the opinon of not giving a shit about what people think of me...at all. I'm happy to have that mentality, it's seems to work for me.
-------------------- Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.
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lukeboots
fresh futuristic

Registered: 02/04/04
Posts: 19,728
Loc: Grand Ole Operating Syste...
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Yeah, I should probably start giving out a disclaimer with my opinions.
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funky ass music: Planet of Dinosaurs // Rich Whiskey
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Stonerguy
I smoke penis


Registered: 05/29/04
Posts: 5,538
Loc: Lost
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Re: Brutal Honesty [Re: lukeboots]
#5404549 - 03/15/06 05:00 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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This reminds me of a couple of weeks ago. I was at the store and when checking out I went to the place where you scan your shit yourself. One of the employes that worked there went to high school with me, when at school I probably said 100 words to her. She decided she would come up to me and talk. I was keeping it short b/c I didn't even remember her name. She remarks "How come you arn't talkative?". I kinda blew up and said "What the fuck do you expect? I barley even knew you in school, and you decide to act like old buddies?"
-------------------- yawn... SG
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lukeboots
fresh futuristic

Registered: 02/04/04
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Re: Brutal Honesty [Re: Stonerguy]
#5404564 - 03/15/06 05:03 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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That's brutal honesty if I've ever heard it.
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funky ass music: Planet of Dinosaurs // Rich Whiskey
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: Brutal Honesty [Re: lukeboots]
#5404580 - 03/15/06 05:05 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
jonnywax said: You'd probably get the feeling that I'm being forthright with you, but you'd probably also get your feelings hurt. Honesty is just the way I live my life, offensive or not.
Yes, I might cry, but it would be worth it.
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lukeboots
fresh futuristic

Registered: 02/04/04
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Re: Brutal Honesty [Re: MOTH]
#5404587 - 03/15/06 05:06 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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No worries, I'd be there to give you a hug and pat your back while you cope with my harsh mindset.
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funky ass music: Planet of Dinosaurs // Rich Whiskey
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: Brutal Honesty [Re: lukeboots]
#5404593 - 03/15/06 05:08 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Aww! That would be so sweet of you.
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Jackattack
Stranger

Registered: 01/16/06
Posts: 150
Last seen: 17 years, 2 months
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Re: Brutal Honesty [Re: lukeboots]
#5404608 - 03/15/06 05:10 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Id rather have people that don't like me treat me as nice as they could instead of having them tell me they hate me. You could of always ignored her.
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lukeboots
fresh futuristic

Registered: 02/04/04
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Re: Brutal Honesty [Re: Jackattack]
#5404625 - 03/15/06 05:14 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Ignoring someone is far more rude than being honest, in my opinion. I'm offended if someone ignores me; it lets a whole world of worries open up in my head. "What if they think I talk too much?" "What if I said something wrong?" "What if I smell?" etc etc.
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funky ass music: Planet of Dinosaurs // Rich Whiskey
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Jackattack
Stranger

Registered: 01/16/06
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Re: Brutal Honesty [Re: Jackattack]
#5404631 - 03/15/06 05:15 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Terrance McKenna said that the Shamans deep in the Amazon were never disrespctful to there fellow companions no matter how much they hated each other and that's how it should be. I think it was wrong what you did to that poor girl. She didn't deserve to be pissed on by asshole even if he was telling the truth.
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Burke Dennings
baby merchant

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
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Re: Brutal Honesty [Re: Jackattack]
#5404635 - 03/15/06 05:16 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Redstorm
Prince of Bugs



Registered: 10/08/02
Posts: 44,175
Last seen: 3 months, 11 days
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Re: Brutal Honesty [Re: Jackattack]
#5404638 - 03/15/06 05:16 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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So, just because they are weird drug users in the middle of the jungle, what they do is right?
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Burke Dennings
baby merchant

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
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Re: Brutal Honesty [Re: Redstorm]
#5404644 - 03/15/06 05:18 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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No, it's because Terrence McKenna said that's how it should be.
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Jackattack
Stranger

Registered: 01/16/06
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Last seen: 17 years, 2 months
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Quote:
PLUR, LOL said: No, it's because Terrence McKenna said that's how it should be.
No Terrence never said if it should be or not It's just what I think.
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lukeboots
fresh futuristic

Registered: 02/04/04
Posts: 19,728
Loc: Grand Ole Operating Syste...
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Re: Brutal Honesty [Re: Jackattack]
#5404665 - 03/15/06 05:24 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Jackattack said: Terrance McKenna said that the Shamans deep in the Amazon were never disrespctful to there fellow companions no matter how much they hated each other and that's how it should be. I think it was wrong what you did to that poor girl. She didn't deserve to be pissed on by asshole even if he was telling the truth.
So we should all hide our true feelings and act like everything is cool and kosher, and never know what our fellow man really thinks about us?
I imagine soccer moms are very fond of your ideas as well. I think it's stupid.
By the way, you don't know this girl. She is not a 'poor girl.' She had it coming. As I said, I tried dealing with her in a 'polite manner,' but some people are denser than others.
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funky ass music: Planet of Dinosaurs // Rich Whiskey
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baycafe
Urawa RedDiamonds


Registered: 09/11/05
Posts: 500
Loc: 埼玉県&...
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Re: Brutal Honesty [Re: Jackattack]
#5404794 - 03/15/06 05:47 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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There is something to be said for dimplomacy on occassion and if you tell me you are 110% brutality honest all the time, you deceive yourself. Consider a few scenarios; you have a child who is dumber than dirt, do you still deal the same brutal honesty you would to someone you don't care for? A friend comes over to help you with a task but their work ethic sucks, do you tell them so?
My assumption is that you only do so when it fills your desire to do so because it benefits you. Otherwise wouldn't you benefit more from constructive criticism?
Ex. A girl named Alice pesters you all the time. Rather than tell her that you don't want to talk to her because she is ugly and her breath smells like ass, you politely explain to her that "As a Scientologist, you can't associate with people unless they have went to Pakistan on a mission to convert people to Judaism in the tribal provinces bordering Afganistan".
Perhaps you don't like someone and wish they would leave you alone. What do you do? You point their flaws out to them until they have no desire to hear what you want to say.
-------------------- I think my eyes are getting better. Instead of a big dark blur I see a big light blur. 俺のシロシャイビケッルリプスがここです。 東京スカパラダイスオクストラ
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lukeboots
fresh futuristic

Registered: 02/04/04
Posts: 19,728
Loc: Grand Ole Operating Syste...
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Re: Brutal Honesty [Re: baycafe]
#5404823 - 03/15/06 05:53 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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I'm not brutally honest all the time. It's not like every thought I have pours out of my head offending the world. I say these things when I want to, you're correct. And I don't have a child. I don't even deal with my family on a regular basis, but I am honest with them. Honesty is my policy, but no one can be honest 100% of the time. I never claimed otherwise. That would eliminate even the ability to jest with your friends.
As for your example concerning 'Alice,' I would never use such a blatantly obvious excuse like that. I will get to the point. I am not lying.
As for the friend coming over to help when their work ethic sucks, no, I would not mention that. They are helping me for no other reason than their goodwill; work ethic would not matter to me.
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funky ass music: Planet of Dinosaurs // Rich Whiskey
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OneWhoHasSeen
Temporal Anomaly


Registered: 11/20/04
Posts: 301
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Last seen: 11 years, 8 days
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Re: Brutal Honesty [Re: lukeboots]
#5405002 - 03/15/06 06:28 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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First off, I just want to say I haven't read this entire thread...
It has been my experience that being honest, and telling the truth, does nothing but get you in trouble. Every time I have ever told the truth is has always come back to kick me in the ass.
The simple fact is that people DON'T WANT you to tell the truth! They want you to have two faces, your true self and the self that you show society. They want you to be honest, unless it means showing your true self. Despite the fact that their true self is just as fucked up as yours is, they will look down on you and judge you.
So I just stopped caring about telling people the REAL truth.
-------------------- A Temporal Anomaly
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lukeboots
fresh futuristic

Registered: 02/04/04
Posts: 19,728
Loc: Grand Ole Operating Syste...
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You know, you're right.
Oh well, too bad for people.
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funky ass music: Planet of Dinosaurs // Rich Whiskey
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