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Re: Salvia VS internal dialog [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #6224802 -

:rofl2:  :heart:

I know it's scary. But what a rush.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

Edited by Icelander (10/29/06 06:47 PM)

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Re: Salvia VS internal dialog [Re: Veritas]
    #6224841 -

"Don't be silly"

That is like asking a rattlesnake not to bite.


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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda

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Re: Salvia VS internal dialog [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #6224852 -

Really?  I would have thought it was like asking a German Shepherd not to dance the tango.  :wink:

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Re: Salvia VS internal dialog [Re: Veritas]
    #6224904 -

That is probably more like the truth, actually, but I am trying to forget who I think I am.


--------------------
"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda

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Re: Salvia VS internal dialog [Re: Icelander]
    #6225933 -

"SHIT ITS THIS SHIT AGAIN!" - repeated eternally, in fragment-spiral-reality-shifts.

While being dragged down in salvia gravity-land, going through the great shredder, my internal dia-monologue narrows down to "wow", and it gradually goes downward from there, as my brain shuts down completely and my consciousness is running through memories and reliving them without much question for what is and what is not. Until I suddenly catch a glimpse of the reality where I actually exist as the person smoking the psycho-plant, and this reminds me that I come from somewhere, unable to remember where, what, who, when, and why. And my questioning begins as the brain restarts - "Wtf?! WHAT THE FUCK!!? Where, what, who, which, when, why!?!?!" and then going upwards chronologically through memories, until another glimpse of reality occurs and the process of "Wtf?! WHAT THE FUCK!!? Where, what, who, which, when, why!?!?!" slides over to "SHIT! ITS THIS SHIT AGAIN!" - - - this is where its always at, this is the eternity, this is the salvia-space, which is totally outside of time, this is that known place where everything is known, because you're it, but not thought of, because you're it. You feel slapping and slapping and slapping, like a comic-book being smashed repeatedly into your face at the speed and sound of a chopper-propeller.

You see that your entire life, all existence, everything, is a picture of yourself, sitting in a chair. You are just atoms moving around in this picture. It never moves. It has never moved. This is *all* there is. Piecing together on top of each other every atom and electron and photons overlapping and slapping into this picture, which never alters, you never know when to stop, because nothing has ever moved, because everything is everything, and you don't know of anything else.

AND YOU ARE THE ONE CONTROLLING THIS SICK SCENARIO, UNABLE TO STEER BECAUSE YOU REMEMBER TOO MUCH TO HAVE A POINT OF VIEW!

I often think of my aunt at this point. Which is weird, because we have the same birthday, and for some reason I think she is God, even though I don't have much contact with her at all, and certainly did not think of her at all before this. And I don't think of her in words, I conceptualize our relationship and her kindness always reminds me of something divine.

This is when panic sets in, and my mind refuses to accept this sick shit of time warps and endless times, memory-jumping, and overlapping slapping 2D pictures of the eternal you (ETERNAL GOD) which never moves, so it freaks itself out and repeats the moment of arrival into "real" reality over and over and over and over and over and over, until you realize there is nothing to fear, but fear itself and the self-induced terror of being stuck inside your brain slash outside the universe, and time gradually begins to make sense as you do the only thing possible which is to fool yourself to distract yourself out of this psychosis and into the one you are familiar with, like you hear someone calling your name, telling you to chill the fuck out, and finally you are just barely able to take a hit of cannabis and chill out maximus as you reflect on this terrible reliving the space time of the entire universe which exists only in your head, and you don't exist at all you are merely a hallucination of yourself because being nothing forever is eternally boring so you make up this mad sick universe where you live on this enticingly sick and fucked up planet of delusions and illusions and the most important thing of all questioning which is just a way of hiding shit from yourself, so you can gradually find it back so that you can fool yourself into believing that you actually move around and navigate a reality when in fact  you are just sitting on your throne being the omnipotent everything always forever eternally never!

All psychosis arrive and can be remembered, if post-traumatic stress syndrome and disassociating personality disorder is avoided and doesn't repress all your memories of your humongous brain/universal restart.

Internal dialogue? Not much. More like a looping wow, combined with a cosmological and universal and eternal mayday which no one will ever hear.

Just talking about this scares me into believing I might snap back into everland. However that is not so frightening anymore, now that I know I will create a perfect universe anyway, because it only happens once, and thats every time we visit the depths of our brain.

All contradictions are intended.

I could go on and on about how this universe is created to fool ourselves into believing we exist, but honestly

:whocares:

We're stuck here together, and I hope it will last forever. :smile:


--------------------
The argent messenger of truth beyond truth, the antithesis of life, cruel and bleak as interstellar space, pulseless and frozen as absolute zero, dazzling with the frost of irrefragable logic and unforgettable fact.

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Re: Salvia VS internal dialog [Re: slaphappy]
    #6226095 -

My salvia experiences, though few, have been very full of internal dialog loss. salvia hasn't actually shocked me or frightened me all that much though. Its bizarre, I'll give it that, way bizarre. However, I am so entertained by the fact that I don't hear myself thinking, so to speak, that it gives me the giggles and I start messing with things just to see what they are. Images of reality folding in on me just make me laugh more, like I don't give a shit, reality could poof out of existence and it wouldn't matter to me. Its almost like I feel the only thing that matters is death, and thats unavoidable, so who gives a shit what happens, right?

Anyway, its been a while for me, out of lack of the stuff more than anything. I want to see about doing that again. I think it could be a tool, but one would have to get a feel for it first. That seems like it would take a truckload of intent.


--------------------
[quote]We don't need anyone to teach us sorcery, because there is really nothing to learn. What we need is a teacher to convince us that there is incalculable power at our fingertips. What a strange paradox! Every warrior on the path of knowledge thinks, at one time or another, that he's learning sorcery, but all he's doing is allowing himself to be convinced of the power hidden in his being, and that he can reach it. [/quote]-Carlos Casteneda

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Re: Salvia VS internal dialog [Re: justamonkey]
    #6227105 -

www.iamshaman.com


--------------------
"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda

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Re: Salvia VS internal dialog [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #6227152 -

I find that to be my favorite supply, as well, Huehuecoyotl. They have some very good leaf.


--------------------
"Reality is that which doesn't go away when you stop believing in it." - N. Bohr
"The world is ruled by letting things take their course. It cannot be ruled by interfering." - Tao Te Ching, 48

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Re: Salvia VS internal dialog [Re: Paramemetic]
    #6229774 -

I'll never do it again.

I've had the same effects on high doses of LSD and mushrooms too. I also experienced the same thing on high dosage of eaten and smoked 5-meo-mipt.

I think its a matter of potency. If the drug is strong enough to override and reboot your mind, it will be crazy as hell. Especially if you're allready crazy, like me.

:smile:


--------------------
The argent messenger of truth beyond truth, the antithesis of life, cruel and bleak as interstellar space, pulseless and frozen as absolute zero, dazzling with the frost of irrefragable logic and unforgettable fact.

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Re: Salvia VS internal dialog [Re: slaphappy]
    #6230359 -

Salvia is a healthy reminder that our perception is one of an infinite array of them, and the odds of any part of ours being 'right' or 'correct' is so unlikely that the concept of pride and righteousness is about as watertight as the Hindenberge after a lightning storm.


--------------------
[quote]We don't need anyone to teach us sorcery, because there is really nothing to learn. What we need is a teacher to convince us that there is incalculable power at our fingertips. What a strange paradox! Every warrior on the path of knowledge thinks, at one time or another, that he's learning sorcery, but all he's doing is allowing himself to be convinced of the power hidden in his being, and that he can reach it. [/quote]-Carlos Casteneda

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Re: Salvia VS internal dialog [Re: justamonkey]
    #6230594 -

Everything is correct. :wink:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Re: Salvia VS internal dialog [Re: Icelander]
    #6231138 -

well
the idea of impeccability works pretty well

while righteousness is too much about being recognized as excellent, impeccability is much more about doing the best you can conceive of on a moment to moment basis.
i.e.
be excellent
(wasn't that bill and ted?)


--------------------
:brainfart: _ :finger:

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Re: Salvia VS internal dialog [Re: redgreenvines]
    #6231187 -

Impeccability is doing your best and doing it because that is what you really want for yourself alone. How many times have I really done that? :tongue:

Impeccability is the humbleness of a warrior. This may be the best man/woman can aspire to.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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General Interest > Philosophy, Sociology & Psychology
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