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The Path of Most Resistance
    #4974366 -

This is the story of a man. Let's call him Bob. He's a young man in a good college, very bright, and with a huge future ahead of himself. The sky is the limit, and he can do anything he sets his mind to. It's the picture-perfect benevolent universe premise.

Then one day he gets a girlfriend. She seems nice enough and attractive. He decides for various reason to date her. Things go okay at first, but after the initial excitement of a new relationship, he starts coming back to his senses. He realizes she's not really his type. She's very nice to him, but she's not very bright. Their interests are very different. He has a hard time finding anything to talk about with her. He doesn't want to continue with the relationship.

So Bob starts trying to figure out a way to break it off with her. She just spent a bunch of time making him a nice romantic dinner for two, so he thinks the timing is bad. He can't break up with her right after that. It'd be hard enough to break up with her, especially since she's so nice to him. So Bob decides to put it off a for a couple weeks.

That night, his girlfriend suggests that they should go to a movie the following weekend. She really wants to go, and he can't come up with a good excuse, so he agrees. But that means his thoughts of breaking up have to be extended as well. It's fine, Bob thinks, because it's such a hassle to do right now given the dinner and then the movie and everything else. He doesn't exactly hate her. He just doesn't really like her. A little more time isn't a problem. He'll just take the path of least resistance at this point. No reason to create stress for himself.

A couple days later she tells him she bought tickets to a symphony for the two of them, but it's in a month and a half. He reluctantly agrees, not wanting to have the big confrontation and break-up right now. He decides to follow the path of least resistance for a bit, putting it off. He figures, "What's another month and a half?" But then, he can't exactly break up with her the day after that. So maybe two months.

Two months go by, but they've now been dating for 3 months. He wants to break up, but when you date someone for 3 months, don't you have to have a reason to break it off? Sure he doesn't really like her, but that's not a good excuse. Why did he date her for so long if he didn't like her? So again, he takes the path of least resistance, waiting for a good opportunity.

She decides one day that they should move in together. She's always at his place anyway, so they'll actually save rent. He can see the merit in the idea, but keeps thinking that he wishes he had broken up with her. There's still no good excuse, and living together actually saves them time and money, so he takes the path of least resistance and she moves in. No big deal, he says. This is as far as he'll let the relationship go. And who knows, maybe she'll hate living with him and she'll decide to break up.

A year later they're engaged to be married. Bob doesn't exactly know how it happened. It wasn't that he really wanted to. He still fantasizes about her breaking up with him. But their parents kept pressuring them, and he figured they were already living together, so what's the big deal? It's too much trouble to fight, and breaking up at this point would be really painful. No big deal, though. He can always divorce later. So he takes the path of least resistance.

The marriage takes a number of turns for the worse. She's put on a bit of weight, doesn't bother cleaning, and she never ended up getting a job. Sure, she tried her luck at a few places, but quit when she couldn't find something that really excited her. So she stays at home. But she gets really, really bored staying there all day. When Bob gets home from work, he has to entertain her. And she insists on being treated as an equal, despite the fact that he pays for everything. He does half the chores!

Maybe, just maybe, he could break up with her. But you can't just get a divorce without a reason. She hasn't really done anything wrong, or it was so gradual that he can't make a fuss of it now. He starts fantasizing about having an affair, not because he wants to be with someone else, but because he might get caught and she'd divorce him. He knows if he's ever going to assert himself, now's the time to do it. He delays, once again taking the path of least resistance.

She informs him that she's pregnant. He gives up.

The path of least resistance is a powerful motivator. The costs of doing something hard are always immediate, while the benefits are out in the future. Maybe a person thinks the costs will diminish over time. Maybe he thinks he'll gain more confidence in his decision later and that'll make it easier. Maybe he just hopes someone else will come along and solve it for him. But whatever the case, the incentive is to put off tough choices.

The problem, as this example tried to demonstrate, is that the costs often go up over time. By avoiding the problem now, you let it grow and fester. It gets harder and harder to deal with. It eventually gets to the point where the costs are so high that you can't even consider them anymore.

The path of least resistance is often an illusion. It's based on a focus on the immediate hassle, and an evasion of the future costs. In the example, Bob should have known that it would just get harder the longer he put it off. He did it, not as an informed decision seeing the alternatives clearly, but in a half-blind view caused by fear or laziness. Trying to take the path of least resistance will often put you right on the path of most resistance.




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Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.

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Re: The Path of Most Resistance [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #4974461 -

Bob's a pussy.


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Re: The Path of Most Resistance [Re: Solutarch]
    #4974512 -

Bob needs some insight from 'Bob'

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Re: The Path of Most Resistance [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #4975266 -

The path of least resistance is ALWAYS the least rewarding.

Ask the Admins how many times I told them THAT, during my tenure as mod.


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Fiddlesticks.


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Re: The Path of Most Resistance [Re: Rose]
    #4975300 -

Someone's, like, living in the past, man.  :hippie:

:grin:

:headbang: :headbang: :headbang: :satansmoking:
Peace. :mushroom2:


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:redpanda:
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you
:heartpump: :bunnyhug: :yinyang:

:yinyang: :levitate: :earth: :levitate: :yinyang:

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Re: The Path of Most Resistance [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #4975425 -

What you attribute to the past of least resistance with Bob is IMO simplistic.  It goes beyond procrastination as well.

In many relationships there is a leader and a follower.  In this case Bob is the follower.  He follows her lead and takes directions from her.

Sure, Bob thinks he can break up on his terms, because he still fancies himself the dominant male in the relationship.  In truth, she moves him around like a pawn on a chess board.

What is even more amusing is that Bob to this day still probably fancies himself the dominant male as he changes diapers and takes care of two kids while she is out to Weds. night "ladies night" with the girls.

Now, should Bob ever grow a set of testicles and try to regain control and power in their relationship, she will cut him off at the knees.  Only then will she divorce him and take more than half of the money that she never worked for.  Of course, the judge will be a woman who will put much stock in her story of woe raising two kids with an uncaring husband Bob. 

Bob will end up in an apartment working overtime paying alimony and child support as she lives in the house he bought (and continues to maintain). 

Who was the smart one again?  :confused:


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Anxiety is what you make it.

Edited by LunarEclipse (11/24/05 07:33 AM)

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Re: The Path of Most Resistance [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #4975533 -

One of the biggest problems facing the human race.


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"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Re: The Path of Most Resistance [Re: Icelander]
    #4975722 -

Got that right. A very good friend of mine got his girlfriend (of 6 months) pregnant two months ago. They're getting married this next year. He always dreamed of either going to Brussels and work in the EU office (got some offers too) or working for another few years and then move to Jamaica and find some low-profile job as a teacher.  He told me all this is out of the question now. He needs to get the apartment and everything set up.

I don't know. I know it's his life but I still feel sorry for him in a way. Well fuck it. Maybe it's just me.  :rolleyes:


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"Who are you who live in all these many forms? You're death that captures all. You too are the source of all that's gonna be born. You're glory, mercy, peace, truth. You give calm a spirit, understanding, courage, the contented heart."

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Re: The Path of Most Resistance [Re: redtailedhawk]
    #4975884 -

If he goes against his true desires all will suffer. Him, his love, and child. This is one of the hard (because we make it that way) lessons of living and loving.


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"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Re: The Path of Most Resistance *DELETED* [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #4975929 -

Post deleted by Lakefingers

Reason for deletion: .

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Re: The Path of Most Resistance [Re: Lakefingers]
    #4976722 -

>> The path of least resistance is often an illusion. It's based on a focus on the immediate hassle, and an evasion of the future costs. In the example, Bob should have known that it would just get harder the longer he put it off. He did it, not as an informed decision seeing the alternatives clearly, but in a half-blind view caused by fear or laziness. Trying to take the path of least resistance will often put you right on the path of most resistance.

I'm reminded of George from Seinfeld, and the episode where he was trying to fake an arm spasm to avoid accepting responsibilty for something he had done.  It became more difficult for him to continue faking the injury than it would have been to simply accept responsibility.  It even went as far as him going to an appointment with one of New York's top physicians just to maintain the facade.

Great post.  We need more of these little gems.  :thumbup: :thumbup:


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:poison: Dark Triangles - New Psychedelic Techno Single - Listen on Soundcloud :poison:
Gyroscope full album available SoundCloud or MySpace

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Re: The Path of Most Resistance [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #4981988 -

what an unnescesarily long way to say "dont procastinate"


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Everything I post is fiction.

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Re: The Path of Most Resistance [Re: Moonshoe]
    #4982052 -

And can not 99.99% of threads/posts in this forum can be summarized in a bottom line/point?

Should we all just say "64" without saying "8 x 8 =" or "32 + 32 =" or "24 + 40 =" prior to the product "64", so to speak? Just give the "what" without the "how", or "why"?

Should all fables and moral-stories be erased, save for that core of wisdom that the stories illustrate? All philisophical & spiritual books [with far much more verbosity than there is in this thread alone] should've just cut straight to the summary-statement or point, hmm?


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Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.

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Re: The Path of Most Resistance [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #4982794 -

The women im dating now is a wonderful girl. But we have laid down the law that we wont be there for each other always. We always will be, but we have our things our goals we need to achieve. She graduated college. And im thinking about just starting. We have been truthful fromthe getgo on what we want to do with our lives. It hurts knowing that we will be seperate but we always know we are in each others hearts. Its a good thing for us both to know we love each other and we are one but we walk our seperate paths. When they cross they cross when they go the same way they go the same way. My goal is to love and be truthful in every word i say every action i do and every step i take. I am fine with knowing i am alone with myself but when i look in to my heart i see all my friends that have died or gone there seperate ways. United in spirit!


we are a boat afloat amidst a sea of soul. Be careful for the wake you leave behind can effect others though you have since moved on.

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