I don't think there is any contradiction in your initial passage, which is something that I think you don't believe. It is possible for one to 'be alone in the universe' while indeed being surrounded by life. There are two good examples that might offer up some modicum of clarity that I'll share briefly. The first, god is alone in this universe for by liberal definition...it encompasses the whole of reality and physical existance - there is nothing out of god by defininition. Second, in our culture during our childhood there is created a certain mental programme which is called 'Ego'. Ego is the notion of self that we carry with us that makes us believe that there is a distinct and meaningful seperation between the 'us' that rests inside the boundary of our skin and the rest of the universe that is 'outside' our skin. It is very possible to momentarily 'transcend' this mental projection of self and enter into a more dramatic and fruitful understanding of the nature of 'self'. But also, sometimes when on drugs (and this is why I do not advocate everyone doing drugs) your ego is not eliminated, but rather /empowered/ by the substances. All of your fears and anxieties come shining through and manifest with the distinct aura of truth - the difficulty is that while the notion that there is a transpersonal '3rd person' constantly in contact with you and notion that you're essentially alone /are both true/ depending upon your point of view. From the perspective of EGO (again, our notion of self) we /are/ alone. The catch is that EGO is not totally 'true' itself - in fact, most of our notions of ego are outrightly false. From the realm of existance beyond ego there is no emptiness, there is no disconnection - that is all there is, levels of deeper and broader and more discrete connection to /everything/. The trick is to understand that the lonliness and emptiness is a product of ego. And the connection is the truth. This is why the 'defeat' of ego is relied upon so heavily by every religion and belief system (the wording will be different but the essential meaning remains the same) to generate so called 'religious experience'.
The Lucid dreaming...when I fly in my dreams on the rare occurence that I make my dreams lucid...it doesn't happen all at once and I don't usually 'fly' as superman does. I 'fly' in the old chinese sense of mythological flying where the sense is more that my body becomes VERY light but my muscles remain just as strong. I can then JUMP and remain in the air for long periods of time. And eventually when I get re-used to this feeling I can trick myself with the old Hitchhiker's Guide trick of: Simply missing the ground. But what you seem to be combating is a /belief/ that has wedged itself inside your subconscious - that you cannot indeed fly. Instead of trying to /concentrate/ on flying, try /letting go/ enough to fly. Letting go of your anxiety and fear and most especially the beliefs (symbolized by the other people in your dream that you're evidentially trying to 'impress' or 'prove wrong' with your ability to fly). If you want to fly, just /allow/ yourself to do it and take off. I find that it's best to have a running start.
Ish
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