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Invisibleuriahchase
Skinny White Boy
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Registered: 09/25/04
Posts: 675
Loc: SoCal
all hail discordia!! * 2
    #4589312 - 08/27/05 10:32 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

umm if you dont know already, here's a little bit of a lesser known religion.

:smirk::smirk::smirk::smirk::smirk::smirk::smirk::smirk::smirk::smirk::smirk::smirk::smirk:

THE FIVE COMMANDMENTS (THE PENTABARF)
The PENTABARF was discovered by the hermit Apostle Zarathud in the Fifth Year of The Caterpillar. He found them carved in gilded stone, while building a sun deck for his cave, but their import was lost for they were written in a mysterious cypher. However, after 10 weeks & 11 hours of intensive scrutiny he discerned that the message could be read by standing on his head and viewing it upside down.

KNOW YE THIS O MAN OF FAITH!
I - There is no Goddess but Goddess and She is Your Goddess. There is no Erisian Movement but The Erisian Movement and it is The Erisian Movement. And every Golden Apple Corps is the beloved home of a Golden Worm.
II - A Discordian Shall Always use the Official Discordian Document Numbering System.

III - A Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to Go Off Alone & Partake Joyously of a Hot Dog on a Friday; this Devotive Ceremony to Remonstrate against the popular Paganisms of the Day: of Catholic Christendom (no meat on Friday), of Judaism (no meat of Pork), of Hindic Peoples (no meat of Beef), of Buddhists (no meat of animal), and of Discordians (no Hot Dog Buns).

IV - A Discordian shall Partake of No Hot Dog Buns, for Such was the Solace of Our Goddess when She was Confronted with The Original Snub.

V - A Discordian is Prohibited of Believing what he reads.

IT IS SO WRITTEN! SO BE IT. HAIL DISCORDIA! PROSECUTORS WILL BE TRANSGRESSICUTED.

Test Question from Topanga Cabal The Twelve Famous Buddha Minds School: If they are our brothers, how come we can't eat them?



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A ZEN STORY
by Camden Benares, The Count of Five, Headmaster, Camp Meeker Cabal
A serious young man found the conflicts of mid 20th Century America
confusing.  He went to many people seeking a way of resolving within himself
the discords that troubled him, but he remained troubled.
                                                          One night in a
coffee house, a self-ordained Zen Master said to him, "go to the dilapidated
mansion you will find at this address which I have written down for you.  Do
not speak to those who live there; you must remain silent until the moon
rises tomorrow night.  Go to the large room on the right of the main
hallway, sit in the lotus position on top of the rubble in the northeast
corner, face the corner, and meditate."
                                        He did just as the Zen Master
instructed. His meditation was frequently interrupted by worries.  He
worried whether or not the rest of the plumbing fixtures would fall from the
second floor bathroom to join the pipes and other trash he was sitting on.
He worried how would he know when the moon rose on the next night.  He
worried about what the people who walked through the room said about him.

His worrying and meditation were disturbed when, as if in a test of his
faith, ordure fell from the second floor onto him.  At that time two people
walked into the room.  The first asked the second who the man was sitting
there was.  The second replied "Some say he is a holy man. Others say he is
a shithead."
              Hearing this, the man was enlightened.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Western Union Telegram
To: Jehova Yahweh
Care: Celestial Hotel (Suite #666)
Presidential Tier, Paradise
Dear God;
This is to inform you that your current position as deity is herewith terminated due to gross incompetence STOP Your check will be mailed STOP Please do not use me for a reference

Respectfully,

Malaclypse the Younger/Omnibenevolent Polyfather
POEE High Priest



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
10. The Earth quakes and the heavens rattle; the beasts of nature flock together and the nations of men flock apart; volcanoes usher up heat while elsewhere water becomes ice and melts; and then on other days it just rains. 11. Indeed do many things come to pass.
HBT; The Book of Predictions, Chap. 19

THE BIRTH OF THE ERISIAN MOVEMENT
The Revelation
Just prior to the decade of the nineteen-sixties, when Sputnik was alone and new, and about the time that Ken Kesey took his first acid trip as a medical volunteer; before underground newspapers, Viet Nam, and talk of a second American Revolution; in the comparative quiet of the late nineteen- fifties, just before the idea of RENAISSANCE became relevant....
Two young Californians, known later as Omar Ravenhurst and Malaclypse the Younger, were indulging in their habit of sipping coffee at an allnight bowling alley and generally solving the world's problems. This particular evening the main subject of discussion was discord and they were complaining to each other of the personal confusion they felt in their respective lives. "Solve the problem of discord," said one, "and all other problems will vanish." "Indeed," said the other, "chaos and strife are the roots of all confusion."


First I Must Sprinkle You With Fairy Dust
Suddenly the place became devoid of light. Then an utter silence enveloped them, and a great stillness was felt. Then came a blinding flash of intense light, as though their very psyches had gone nova. Then vision returned.
The two were dazed and neither moved nor spoke for several minutes. They looked around and saw that the bowlers were frozen like statues in a variety of comic positions, and that a bowling ball was steadfastly anchored to the floor only inches from the pins that it had been sent to scatter. The two looked at each other, totally unable to account for the phenomenon. The condition was one of suspension, and one noticed that the clock had stopped.

There walked into the room a chimpanzee, shaggy and grey about the muzzle, yet upright to his full five feet, and poised with natural majesty. He carried a scroll and walked to the young men.

"Gentlemen," he said, "why does Pickering's Moon go about in reverse orbit? Gentlemen, there are nipples on your chests; do you give milk? And what, pray tell, Gentlemen, is to be done about Heisenberg's Law?" He paused. "SOMEBODY HAD TO PUT ALL OF THIS CONFUSION HERE!"

And with that he revealed his scroll. It was a diagram, like a yin- yang with a pentagon on one side and an apple on the other. And then he exploded and the two lost consciousness.


ERIS - Goddess of Chaos, Discord & Confusion
They awoke to the sound of pins clattering, and found the bowlers engaged in their game and the waitress busy with making coffee. It was apparant that their experience had been private.
They discussed their strange encounter and reconstructed from memory the chimpanzee's diagram. Over the next five days they searched libraries to find the significance of it, but were disappointed to uncover only references to Taoism, the Korean flag, and Technocracy. It was not until they traced the Greek writing on the apple that they discovered the ancient Goddess known to the Greeks as Eris and to the Romans as Discordia. This was on the fifth night, and when they slept that night each had a vivid dream of a splendid woman whose eyes were as soft as feather and as deep as eternity itself, and whose body was the spectacular dance of atoms and universes. Pyrotechnics of pure energy formed her flowing hair, and rainbows manifested and dissolved as she spoke in a warm and gentle voice:

I have come to tell you that you are free. Many ages ago, My consciousness left man, that he might develop himself. I return to find this development approaching completion, but hindered by fear and by misunderstanding.

You have built for yourselves psychic suits of armor, and clad in them, your vision is restricted, your movements are clumsy and painful, your skin is bruised, and your spirit is broiled in the sun.

I am chaos. I am the substance from which your artists and scientists build rhythms. I am the spirit with which your children and clowns laugh in happy anarchy. I am chaos. I am alive, and I tell you that you are free.

During the next months they studied philosophies and theologies, and learned that Eris or Discordia was primarily feared by the ancients as being disruptive. Indeed, the very concept of chaos was still considered equivalent to strife and treated as a negative. "No wonder things are all screwed up," they concluded, "they have got it all backwards." They found that the principle of disorder was every much as significant as the principle of order.

With this in mind, they studied the strange yin-yang. During a meditation one afternoon, a voice came to them:

It is called the Sacred Chao. I appoint you Keepers of It. Therein you will find anything you like. Speak of Me as Discord, to show contrast to the pentagon. Tell constricted mankind that there are no rules, unless they choose to invent rules. Keep close the words of Syadasti: 'TIS AN ILL WIND THAT BLOWS NO MINDS. And remember that there is no tyranny in the State of Confusion. For further information, consult your pineal gland.

"What is this?" mumbled one to the other, "A religion based on The Goddess of Confusion? It is utter madness!"

And with those words, each looked at the other in absolute awe. Omar began to giggle. Mal began to laugh. Omar began to jump up and down. Mal was hooting and hollering to beat all hell. And amid squeals of mirth and with tears on their cheeks, each appointed the other to be high priest of his own madness, and together they declared themselves to be a society of Discordia, for what ever that may turn out to be.


"There are trivial truths & there are great truths. The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false. The opposite of a great truth is also true."
-Neils Bohr
"Did you know that there is a million bucks hidden in the house next door?" "But there is no house next door." "No? Then let's go build one!"
-MARX
Fnords ->:

Momomoto, Famous Japanese, can swallow his nose.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                            St. Trinian's
                      SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL POLICE
                            Sewing Circle

THE BATTLE HYMN OF THE ERISTOCRACY
by Lord Omar
VERSE
Mine brain has meditated on the spinning of The Chao;
It is hovering o'er the table where the Chiefs of Staff are now
Gathered in discussion of the dropping of The Bomb;
Her Apple Corps is strong!

CHORUS
Grand (and gory) Old Discordja!
Grand (and gory) Old Discordja!
Grand (and gory) Old Discordja!
Her Apple Corps is strong!

VERSE
She was not invited to the party that they held on Limbo Peak;*
So She threw a Golden Apple, 'sted of turn'd t'other cheek!
O it cracked the Holy Punchbowl and it made the nectar leak;
Her Apple Corps is strong!

* "Limbo Peak" refers to Old Limbo Peak, commonly called by the Greeks "Ol' Limb' Peak."

If a quixotic socrates studied zen under Zorba...?


"The tide is turning... the enemy is suffering terrible losses"
-Gen. Geo. A. Custer
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
People in a Position to Know, Inc.

ON PRAYER
Mal-2 was once asked by one of his Disciples if he often prayed to Eris. He replied with these words:
No, we Erisians seldom pray, it is much too dangerous. Charles Fort has listed many factual incidences of ignorant people confronted with, say, a drought, and then praying fervently -- and then getting the entire village wiped out in a torrential flood.


"Of course I'm crazy, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong. I'm mad but not ill"
(Werewolf Bridge, Robert Anton Wison)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
14. Wipe thine ass with what is written and grin like a ninny at what is Spoken. Take thine refuge with thine wine in the Nothing behind Everything, as you hurry along the Path.
THE PURPLE SAGE
HBT; The Book of Predictions, Chap. 19


Heaven is down. Hell is up.
This is proven by the fact
that the planets and stars
are orderly in their
movements,                                      IGNOTUM PER IGNOTIUS
while down on earth                    The meaning of this is unknown
we come close to the
primal chaos.
There are four other
proofs,
but I forget them.

        -Josh the Dill
        King Kong Kabal

                                IT IS MY FIRM BELIEF THAT IT IS A MISTAKE
                                TO HOLD FIRM BELIEFS.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Classical Greeks were not influenced by the Classical Greeks.

                                                        DO NOT CIRCULATE!

What We Know About ERIS (not much)
The Romans left a likeness of Her for posterity--She was shown as a grotesque woman with a pale and ghastly look, Her eyes afire, Her garment ripped and torn, and as concealing a dagger in Her Bosom. Actually, most women look pale and ghastly when concealing a chilly dagger in their bosoms.
Her geneology is from the Greeks and is utterly confused. Either She was the twin of Ares and the daughter of Zeus and Hera; or She was the daughter of Nyx, goddess of night (who was either the daughter or wife of Chaos, or both), and Nyx's brother, Erebus, and whose brothers and sisters include Death, Doom, Mockery, and Friendship. And that She begat Forgetfullness, Quarrels, Lies, and a bunch of gods and goddesses like that.

One day Mal-2 consulted his Pineal Gland* and asked Eris if She really created all of those terrible things. She told him that She had always liked the Old Greeks, but that they cannot be trusted with historic matters. "They were," She added, "victims of indigestion, you know."

Suffice it to say that Eris is not hateful or malicious. But She is mischievous, and does get a little bitchy at times.

*THE PINEAL GLAND is where each and every one of us can talk to Eris. If you have trouble activating your Pineal, then try the appendix which does almost as well. Reference: DOGMA I, METAPHYSICS #3, "The Indoctrine of the Pineal Gland"


DIRUIT AEDIFICAT MUTAT QUADRATA ROTUNDUS
-Horace
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


--------------------
Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are -Kurt Cobain
       



     
Hotter than the left sink handle.

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Invisibleuriahchase
Skinny White Boy
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Registered: 09/25/04
Posts: 675
Loc: SoCal
Re: all hail discordia!! [Re: uriahchase] * 1
    #4589402 - 08/27/05 10:50 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

interesting eh?


--------------------
Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are -Kurt Cobain
       



     
Hotter than the left sink handle.

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Invisibleninjapixie
newbie
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Registered: 02/06/04
Posts: 417
Re: all hail discordia!! [Re: uriahchase] * 1
    #4589552 - 08/27/05 11:17 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

The Principia Discordia is awesome. There was a thread on here a few months back that brought my attention to it. Makes more sense then most other religions.


--------------------
Put that monkey back in the oven.

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InvisibleJellric
altered statesman

Registered: 11/07/98
Posts: 2,261
Loc: non-local
Re: all hail discordia!! [Re: ninjapixie] * 1
    #4589832 - 08/28/05 12:29 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Are you IN?


--------------------
I AM what Willis was talkin' bout.

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Invisibleuriahchase
Skinny White Boy
Male User Gallery

Registered: 09/25/04
Posts: 675
Loc: SoCal
Re: all hail discordia!! [Re: Jellric] * 1
    #4589896 - 08/28/05 12:54 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

ha! the web site and other connecting sites had enough food for thought to keep me occupied for hours.... ALL HAIL DISCORDIA!!!!!!!!!


--------------------
Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are -Kurt Cobain
       



     
Hotter than the left sink handle.

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InvisibleMushmanTheManic
Stranger

Registered: 04/21/05
Posts: 4,587
Re: all hail discordia!! [Re: uriahchase] * 1
    #4593260 - 08/28/05 11:01 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

"Every few thousand years some shepard inhales smoke from a burning bush and has a vision or eats moldy rye bread in a cave and sees God. From then on their followers kill one another at the slightest provocation. Haunted houses called temples are built by one side and torn down by another - and then bloody quarrels continue over the crumbling foundations."

Kerry Thornley... may he rest in chaos

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InvisibleLe_Canard
The Duk Abides

Registered: 05/16/03
Posts: 94,392
Loc: Earthfarm 1 Flag
Re: all hail discordia!! [Re: uriahchase] * 1
    #4593305 - 08/28/05 11:08 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

"Bob" is much cooler than Eris anyday. Besides, we get to ride in the Saucers with the Sex-Goddesses on X-Day! Beat THAT, you mannequin humpers! :razz:

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InvisibleMushmanTheManic
Stranger

Registered: 04/21/05
Posts: 4,587
Re: all hail discordia!! [Re: Le_Canard] * 1
    #4593372 - 08/28/05 11:18 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

Pfft. Dr. Von Mojo got rid of JHVH-1 years ago by sticking pins in a tetherball.

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InvisibleLe_Canard
The Duk Abides

Registered: 05/16/03
Posts: 94,392
Loc: Earthfarm 1 Flag
Re: all hail discordia!! [Re: MushmanTheManic] * 1
    #4593385 - 08/28/05 11:21 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

Heresy, I say! HERESY! By the Bleeding Head of Arnold Palmer, our operatives shall seek you out and inject you with deadly radioactive monkey jism for spouting such blasphemy!  :tongue2:

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InvisibleMushmanTheManic
Stranger

Registered: 04/21/05
Posts: 4,587
Re: all hail discordia!! [Re: Le_Canard] * 1
    #4593431 - 08/28/05 11:29 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

I have faith that Nerdle Wombanger and his army of Little Deluded Dupes will protect me.

btw, if you're really interested in the history of the Discordian Society I recommend you steal/buy yourself a copy of 'The Illuminatus! Trilogy' by Robert Shea & Robert Anton Wilson. 700 pages of Ontological Guerilla Combat (and more sex and drugs than any Pink could handle.)

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InvisibleLe_Canard
The Duk Abides

Registered: 05/16/03
Posts: 94,392
Loc: Earthfarm 1 Flag
Re: all hail discordia!! [Re: MushmanTheManic] * 1
    #4593474 - 08/28/05 11:36 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

Hehe! I already have this much revered tome, and it occupies a most sacred place on my bookshelf, yet hidden from the prying eyes of the unwashed pinkbois, whose tiny brains would no doubt explode at the very thought of such a work! Not that that would necesssarily be a bad thing, but it's a real bitch to clean up... :laugh:

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Offlinegraceful dragon
omni-love
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Registered: 04/20/15
Posts: 460
Loc: flight
Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
Re: all hail discordia!! [Re: uriahchase]
    #23412287 - 07/04/16 11:37 PM (7 years, 8 months ago)

To choose order over disorder, or disorder over order, is to accept a trip composed of both the creative and the destructive. But to choose the creative over the destructive is an all-creative trip composed of both order and disorder. To accomplish this, one need only accept creative disorder along with, and equal to, creative order, and also willing to reject destructive order as an undesirable equal to destructive disorder.
.
.
. . . proclaims that the other division is preferable, and we work toward the proposition that creative disorder, like creative order, is possible and desirable; and that destructive order, like destructive disorder, is unnecessary and undesirable.
.
.
GP: Is Eris true?
M2: Everything is true.
GP: Even false things?
M2: Even false things are true.
GP: How can that be?
M2: I don't know man, I didn't do it.
.
.
GP: Is there an essential meaning behind POEE?
M2: There is a Zen Story about a student who asked a Master to explain the meaning of Buddhism. The Master's reply was "Three pounds of flax."
GP: Is that the answer to my question?
M2: No, of course not. That is just illustrative. The answer to your question is FIVE TONS OF FLAX!

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OfflineHagbardCeline
Student-Teacher-Student-Teacher
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Registered: 05/10/03
Posts: 10,028
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Last seen: 1 month, 11 days
Re: all hail discordia!! [Re: graceful dragon]
    #23412946 - 07/05/16 08:16 AM (7 years, 8 months ago)

It isn't about choosing something, it's about consistently approaching without the influence of will. Be not conscious of choice.


--------------------
I keep it real because I think it is important that a highly esteemed individual such as myself keep it real lest they experience the dreaded spontaneous non-existance of no longer keeping it real. - Hagbard Celine

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