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Offlineheadset
Stranger
Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 874
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
No point to sex
    #4562691 - 08/21/05 03:15 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

Well, i turned 20 today and i got laid last night..

Ive never had a proper view of sex and its starting to bother me. Im usually not sexually active/flirty or even *looking*.

Ive set myself up for this ideal of wanting to fall in love with the perfect girl and waiting and waiting is only removing me furthur from the experience i should be having fun with.

I was raised in an atmosphere where my mother always told me not to have a girlfriend till i was 20 and to stay at home for as long as possible. My dad from grade 5 on always told me to fuck the hot ones, and hooted and hollared at the girls on the beach..

Recently my step father expressed "assuming you are heterosexual."


In my past relationships and involvements, i was taken advantage of because of status (ala lets fuck the cute shy boy. He stands out.) and those relationships ripped me to pieces in Jr. High scaring me everafter.

Since ive left highschool ive had a couple small flings or onenighters which are initiated by the girl and...

the problem is; I usually feel guilty. I cannot even allow myself to have sexual desire. Im aware of having perhaps a "dirty" mind, but i cant allow myself to explore it - in response to my father telling me to fuck bitches on the beach i sent him a song about feminine equality. I feel very passive and repressed and could hardly imagine how i would feel if i was to pursue a regular and varied sex life.

Its like ive fallen into a role of associating sex with bad feelings and consequently, its very rare that i will Cum. Whats the point.. i can fuck and fuck for hours, and it just never cums..

I need to rewire myself and stop being bashful?


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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male

Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 93,974
Loc: underbelly
Re: No point to sex [Re: headset]
    #4562771 - 08/21/05 03:38 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

Rewiring takes exploring. Exploring takes courage. :thumbup: :heart: You can do it if you put in the effort.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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OfflineMycoMateo
White andFluffy!

Registered: 07/24/05
Posts: 35
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
Re: No point to sex [Re: headset]
    #4562779 - 08/21/05 03:40 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

Better to have people going after you than feeling horrible cause no girls will even come close to you. Take it from me, there's nothing worse than not being noticed, I'd give anything to be in your shoes.


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OfflineJaimie
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 User Gallery
Registered: 08/14/05
Posts: 87
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 1 year, 8 months
Re: No point to sex [Re: MycoMateo]
    #4564110 - 08/21/05 09:39 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

Wow. That you can even describe all of that is amazing to me. Most people I meet are so unaware of EVERYTHING, so willing to settle, so accepting of the "normal" sexual ideals. It all makes me really sick really.
What I learned recently is that you just have to realise that people are on different levels when it comes to sex. Some people will just fuck anything, with no feeling behind it. Cliche as it may be, you just have to do what feels right to you. For your sake, I hope it's finding something wonderful, someone you can love unconditionally and passionately.
Ignore what your parents said, as wonderful as they may be, you can reach MUCH higher levels of passion and love than that. Be wary though, 99.999999999% of people are out to hurt you. I believe it.


--------------------

Sitting in the silent twilight rapture
Could it be too hard to capture
This velvet moment of serenity



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Offlinebaraka
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Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 07/16/00
Posts: 10,729
Loc: ohio
Last seen: 14 hours, 33 minutes
Re: No point to sex [Re: headset]
    #4564274 - 08/21/05 10:19 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

what id do to feel emotianally numb towards females right now. Shit is so busy and crap is taking up too much of my thoughts.


--------------------
This is the only time I really feel alive.


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OfflineBabaOreilly
Stranger

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 06/09/05
Posts: 115
Loc: under the sea
Last seen: 1 year, 3 days
Re: No point to sex [Re: baraka]
    #4564786 - 08/21/05 11:49 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

The way I see it is you shouldn't feel that sex is a necessity. You could live without it perfectly fine; I see it as a perk that comes along with a relationship. I hate seeing sex burrow its way into peoples social life, where it becomes the whole epeicentre of socializing, just guys following around girls and trying to get laid. you can live without sex but you might not be able to live without love so look for love before you think about sex. Also I hate seeing people confuse beauty and sexual attraction. They are two very different things. Beauty is everywhere you look for it, not just skin deep, and it lasts longer that sexual attractive-ness, which goes with time and is often manufactured and sold as the "beautiful" girls on mtv.
off topic? sry


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Offlineheadset
Stranger
Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 874
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
Re: No point to sex [Re: BabaOreilly]
    #4565367 - 08/22/05 02:10 AM (12 years, 3 months ago)

Its no problem for me to live without sex, but by the same token the rare time i do have casual sex i can do it consensually and soberly and have a goodtime.

But i still cant cum..

I know if thats psychosomatic, perhaps a metaphor for the emptiness i feel. Or a physical problem.

Thoughts?


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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male

Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 93,974
Loc: underbelly
Re: No point to sex [Re: headset]
    #4565974 - 08/22/05 10:32 AM (12 years, 3 months ago)

Check out Tantric sex. Learn to have orgasms without ejaculation. You will be way ahead. And you will fill up the empty feeling with connection to your spirit. Or so I've heard. :grin:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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InvisibleNewbie
User of semicolons.
Male User Gallery

Registered: 07/18/04
Posts: 23,015
Loc: Suburbia
Re: No point to sex [Re: headset]
    #4569539 - 08/23/05 08:04 AM (12 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

headset said:
i can fuck and fuck for hours, and it just never cums..





Use that to your advantage.  Christ I'd give anything for THAT ability.  Learn to associate good feelings while you're "fucking and fucking".  Look down at the girl (or guy) under you during this...I bet they're not just laying there yawning...are they?  Once you see how great you're making that person feel, you can learn to feel that way yourself as well.  :cool:


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