Pros asked;
Quote:
where does the insecurity come from among those who are with the 'in' crowd who would disparage those who are not?
That question is sort of an oxy moron. Popular types don't have to associate with anyone they don't want to. Popular types have more people pulling at them for their time attention and company. They can be selective and choosy of who they socialize with plain and simple.
Is it their fault they are sought after? Is not the one who feels they must be accepted by a popular person the insecure one for feeling disparged by them?
If you were to exclude someone from something or your social click, what would be some probable reasons?
They may be dull, uninteresting, socially impolite, rude or offensive, care less for personal hygiene and smell, have nothing in common with you and your group, have a bad attitude, are a party pooper or are simply annoying.
Why are you insecure if you don't choose to be around someone with those qualities when you can be around others who don't have them? It just makes you someone with more options in life because you have more to offer of what people want.
In most cases "nerds" are typically just quiet introverts who go unnoticed in social situations simply because they are quiet or lack confidence.
People typically want to be around others who are exciting, fun, entertaining, interesting, nice and or nice to look at, supportive, have a lot in common with, make them feel good and special or important, engaging conversationalists, make things happen, have great attitudes or who live lives they wish they had.
That's also why some become rude or arrogant. They can't possibly be expected to cater to everyone seeking them out or be pleased with ass kissing imitators sucking up to them at every turn.
The bottom line to your question that makes no sense is, the popular person is not insecure for being choosy or disparging. One who has to feel accepted by a popular person, or imitates a popular person, holds them up higher, or compromises their values to be accepted has some insecurities to deal with if they feel disparged by others or act to avoid being disparged.
Many nerdy types could care less and love themselves as they are. Kudos to them! A popular type has that same cold care less love themselves as they are attititude. Those are the nerdy types that ussually mix well with popular clicks.
Many popular types have other insecurities non the less. I liked how this one top model put it. Everyone has insecurities, some are just better at hiding them then others.
That aside, I think popular types that rub others wrong are the ones who are socially insecure. This may be the type you are referring to Pros. They are the ones who copy and ass kiss up to the authentic people person and who compromise their values to fit in with a group.
The ring leaders can be best friends with any nerd publicly and get away with it. They know how to fart cool and no matter what they do, they have that IT quality most people are drawn to.
Those that wrap themselves around the IT types to form the clique have to be careful about what they wear, say do and who they are seen associating with. They worry about maintaining the "chosen friend status" They don't have the IT and use their suck up association with the IT person to gain their social status.
Those are the ones who have to "act" the part because they truly are not IT. They delight in snubbing others because they can because they are friends with whom others wish to be.
Little do they know, the ring leaders know that and often do not respect those members of the click. They are the ones always delegated to do the dirty work for the group. They are being used just as they are using the IT people to gain social status.
The nerds have it better off then the wanna bes IMHO. Nerds hold on to their un popular values and self respect. Wanna bes betray their values and self respect and that can't be a pleasant way to go through life. It sounds like hell to me.
A true IT person doesn't enjoy disparging others or go out of their way to put others down to feel up, they have no personal need to. IT people don't give those who don't grab their attention much thought at all really. They rarely know what feeling down even feels like to have to bother with those insecurity games. They are their own best friends, their own support system, their own cheer leader, their own inner council, their own source of resourcing and are typically very independent, not co-dependent.
They shine no matter where they are. Some, the type I think you are referring to only shine by association with a social-"lite".
Look at Happy Days and the Fonz, he could hang out with nerds or even wear glasses and still be cool. He had IT.
What gives any popular person that power to disparge others? The others who want their acceptance and attention- the wanna bes. What they really are in need of is self acceptance and attention paid to the self by the self. If they had that, they wouldn't have care or need to have it from others.
Who says stereotypical nerdy types can not be or are not popular anyway? Look at Albert Einstein, Jimmy Carter, Bill Gates, Hilary Clinton, Woody Allen. They all have an IT factor and that is self belief and self support. They know how to uplift themselves or gave worth to an unpopular self quality.
That's really what it comes down to. How do people talk to themselves about themselves. If they think they are a boring piece of worthless existence and then act like it because they believe that, why should anyone else think otherwise of them?
Maybe that more describes not so much a nerdy type who has a lot going for them besides social status but stereotypical looser types that are not "popular".
They will live unnoticed not just by others, but mostly by themselves not noticing what they do have to offer and by not believing it has social worth on some level.
Bill Gates may not be the life of a Party but he has created self worth regarding something he believed himself to be good at and that is a popular quality in a person.
Look at how many actors suck at acting yet they get work because they believe they are great or have something to offer. Self confidence has been rated the most attractive quality in a person. People like to be around can do types because they make things happen. That's how they generate excitement. Popular types get balls rolling, take initiative, come up with new and or fun ideas and often take risks.
When people get good at self upliftment and self support, they can take the sort of risks that create excitement and draw crowds with ease because they know if they fail, fuck up or fall, they can easily just lift themselves up again.
When people rely on others for support and upliftment, they tend to play it safe and cautious and that's boring to be around, may be perceptibly stable, but boring.
Not to anyone fault either as some conservative types can't handle the excitement of risk taking ground breaking environments and don't like to be around them. They are usually very content with their boring play it safe, wait til it proves itself nerd status as well.
If anyone cares about being popular and seeks its rewards you have be a trendsetter, the one who goes where no one has gone before and take risks. You have to set the bar and the pace to lead pack. You have to be able to deal with the critics and envious types and those who wish to knock you down. To do that requires a shit load of self belief, self support and self forgiveness-confidence that you can do it or at least can recover from a flop or blow.
I think the answer to why "some nerds" are not popular is more then found in this reply. They don't take risks regularly because they have little self belief or ability to self support and self uplift when they fall, flop and fail.
This world of humans is craving light and they look to their stars for it. Everyone has inner light. Just have to know how to look within for it and turn it on, nerd or average Joe.
Where does playing it safe all of the time get anyone if we are all going to die anyway? I'm not talking about enganing in life risking behavior but taking risks to live a little is worth it. Otherwise, one becomes what I call the living dead.
We come the closest to feeling and knowing our divinity when we break free and go for it.
If their is an all powerful force within all of existance, would it know fear? What would it have to fear? Something to think about.
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Ahuwale ka nane huna.
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Yes, I was curious to see how I'd be feeling and thinking if I stopped posting here for a while. 
Who wants me to bring back some Philly Cheese Steaks?
I'm glad everyone seems to like it. Your contributions have made it what it has become.
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