All right, here is a general trip description.
I started with roughly 100 seeds, ascertaining that about 660-670 made up a full ounce, and that this is probably a decent gram weight for proper seed ingestion.
I'd take them in moderate handfulls at a time with caffeine..... 15 minutes passed and i had consumed most of them and was starting to feel a little icky... i had a moutain dew (to combat the sedative effects) that i had been working on finishing... and i was working on a "cooking project" *wink wink wink* (resulting in hilarity while trying to finish it while tripping balls) ... so... 5 is rolling around and I sit down and watch Home Improvement and finish off the last of the seeds.... I'm starting to feel something. I had recently taken a few puffs of .... that "something" to help with potential nausea, and i took a few more to get a moderate buzz going.....
My mom called as I was beginning to come up and I sort of sounded out of it while talking to her, but I felt like our communication was connected... though I don't really "remember" enough to describe why I felt that way.
So I hung up and started getting giddy and euphoric, I knew I was tripping...... I watched TV for a while and found it boring and confusing..... I think I put some music on.
About one hour after coming up I just totally lost it, the trip had overcome me. I was riding waves of euphoria, uncertainty, negativity, all sorts of emotional turmoil. It felt like a weed high taken wayyyyyy out and slowwwed way down. The normal waves of perception had ground to a halt, as I no longer found anythinig of my normal life to be important. (music, internet.... tv.... etc) so I went and messed with what I had cooking..... and my mind was so slow, it didn't need to "think" about what to do, and yet "I" did... and it resulted in a lot of confusion, some of it probably from the smoking....
I can't stress how much everything slowed down and subsequently sped up.... I mean... my mind was like..... air... or space..... and I could even begin to feel steady "oscillations" which meant that I was plateuing at this "Frequency" but to control my hands led to them going SUPER fast like I was tweaked on speed or something (not that i've done it, because I haven't, I'm just imagining here)
Well I got that stuff taken care of, bumbled around confused, and put in a mix CD i had. This is when I noticed mild hallucinations... because I knew the lyrics of the song, the singer's voice stayed at a constant volume even when I left the room... at first I thought I must have the music up pretty loud (and maybe i did because the speakers transmit oddly) but when I came back into my room it was actually softer than I was hearing it.
Then I began to sort of.... "be" the singer who was singing... I understood what he was conveying by the frequencies and tones underlying his song, and it was pretty decent...... I then came to the shocking/horrifying conclusion:
Everything in my life is leading me here, and I may not be able to come back. These bands... their songs were custom tailored to ME and the things they've preached about tripping and spirituality were coming true.... and this may be "it" i may not come back.
This is when I was hit with the sedative properties... I felt like I was dreaming. I felt like I was oscillating between a dream and reality over and over again each and every moment.... I was terrified of going to sleep though, as if reality had turned to a dream, what would happen if I woke up?
I stayed awake and pondered things. That's when the split personality came around... I was dealing with so much that I DIDN'T HAVE ANSWERS TO, that I would pass the answers on to my "anima" and it would reassure me that things would be okay, it didn't know the answers either, but it was more calm about it.
That's when my left and right hand became different entities, but each controllable by me. I began writing and I was literally having conversations with myself, and perhaps God as well... (unsure about this).
Then I looked in the mirror. Whoah. Well.... I approached it... I went up, and I kissed myself... and I did not even touch the fucking mirror! I kissed myself and simultaneously felt myself being kissed... just like something out of what you read about infancy... how babies have the sensation of being touched, but also of touching.
It was a trip and then some.
I was in this for about 2-3 hours before I stabilized and felt like I was gradually gradually coming down.... I was still tripping at 9 or so hours... but not as much.
at the end of the day I smoked up and the trip came back pretty hard, but with visuals.... and.... I was forced to confront some fears.... I became a spider for a few moments in the netherworld between you and your imagination.... it was scary and weird but after it was done.. well.
I don't know.
Next time I might try 120 or so, I feel like there's more cool things to do but I need to approach them gradually... and I'd like actual visuals that aren't smoke induced..... but this was a ton for me...
and all the while I was lonely as hell thinking that this should be done with people you are really close to and care about... but no one I'm close to or care about would ever trip with me I don't think.
-------------------- I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!
....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!
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