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 psikooz
Stranger
Registered: 07/19/03
Posts: 1,023
Loc: Los Angeles
Last seen: 13 years, 3 months
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 Something i need to talk about. 
#4371010 - 07/05/05 01:03 AM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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Hello friends, there is something i need to talk about.
Right now im going some extremely painful emotional times, as my parents have just divorced, and more importanly i have come to accept that i was sexual abused by my father.
It happened when i was 8 or 9, and the memories have been repressed up until about a year ago, when little things started to comeback. At first i would tell myself that i was just imaginating this, but everyday the thaughts would stick me in the gut. And this lead to me getting in fights, throwing tantrems, and generaly acting like an asshole and getting frusterated.
For a long time i didnt know were this anger came from, but now i realize that i am angry at my father for what he did to me and the way he treated my mother and brothers, and i was ashamed and afraid to tell anybody.
I also want to mention that i have an 8 year old brother, that we are very concerned about has he has spent time alone with my father, but not anymore.
So now i realize my next step, and it is to comeout to my friends, and to deal with this until it is over. I am asking for your support during this very painful time ..
I am not afraid anymore, and i am closer to being free everyday.
The only time is NOW
Thank you friends!
I love you all. 
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 Adden
Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 39,201
Loc: 
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 Re: Something i need to talk about. [Re: psikooz]
#4371113 - 07/05/05 01:36 AM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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Revenge.
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Nemo_Hoes
Juan Sánchez Villa-Lobo Ramírez
Registered: 09/16/04
Posts: 39,721
Loc: Ray Ray's Mystery Garage
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Re: Something i need to talk about. [Re: psikooz]
#4371219 - 07/05/05 02:08 AM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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I know people who have gone through that, your friends shouldn't judge you for being molested or if you're gay or whatever. That shit shouldn't matter they're your friends. Do what you gotta do man. More power to you. Oh and punch your dad, in the face for me.
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We will also report to the NAACP and to Al Sharpton's entourage, how the Shroomery administrators allows their mods and members to be balatantly allowed the use of the 'N' word.
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BloodNOil
Captain Zeep
Registered: 10/08/03
Posts: 1,020
Last seen: 15 years, 7 months
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Re: Something i need to talk about. [Re: Adden]
#4371260 - 07/05/05 02:25 AM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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Extortion.
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It's like a koala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain!
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MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: Something i need to talk about. [Re: psikooz]
#4371341 - 07/05/05 03:58 AM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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Your courage in the face of this difficult time of your life is truly inspiring. I'm so sorry that you were victimized like that by a family member, the ultimate breach of trust. You're very brave for coming to terms with what happened.
Quote:
I am not afraid anymore, and i am closer to being free everyday.
Wonderful to hear, keep those spirits high.
Please keep us updated on how you are feeling. 
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redtailedhawk
Explorer of the Mystery
Registered: 11/24/04
Posts: 559
Loc: The Old Continent
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Re: Something i need to talk about. [Re: BloodNOil]
#4371344 - 07/05/05 04:04 AM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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I feel for you, man. I too was emotionally and physically abused by my parents in childhood and know the depth of pain, anger and confusion unresolved trauma leaves. Revenge is not the answer. Neither is forced forgiveness. Remembering and integrating the experience of your abuse is.
Embrace the feelings and thoughts you are having. They are pain-full, but only by embracing them shall they pass. Also try to find an oasis of peace where you can retreat when things get the best of you. This oasis can be people you love and trust, secluded places in nature that bring you peace, books or music you enjoy, warm baths, candles, etc.
Dealing with issues of abuse/trauma is hard and scary, but - if one finds the courage to do it - can be one of the most rewarding experience in life one can have.
"If you bring forth that which is within you,
Then that which is within you
Will be your salvation.
If you do not bring forth that which is within you,
Then that which is within you
Will destroy you."
-from the Gnostic Gospels
Good luck!
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 "Who are you who live in all these many forms? You're death that captures all. You too are the source of all that's gonna be born. You're glory, mercy, peace, truth. You give calm a spirit, understanding, courage, the contented heart."
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butterflydawn
lucid dreamer
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 1,921
Loc: lost at sea
Last seen: 24 days, 19 hours
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Re: Something i need to talk about. [Re: psikooz]
#4371692 - 07/05/05 09:16 AM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
psikooz said:
I am not afraid anymore, and i am closer to being free everyday.
The only time is NOW
i'm sure you'll be better and better.
keep us updated like ellemy said.
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lucidal expansion
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Dark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
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Re: Something i need to talk about. [Re: psikooz]
#4371970 - 07/05/05 11:14 AM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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Damn, that's horrible man, you have a great attitude towards though....and with that attitude you'll get through this. I wish you luck, we're here for you if you need us.
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Le_Canard
The Duk Abides
Registered: 05/16/03
Posts: 94,392
Loc: Earthfarm 1
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Re: Something i need to talk about. [Re: psikooz]
#4372106 - 07/05/05 12:00 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
master_shake said:
I know people who have gone through that, your friends shouldn't judge you for being molested or if you're gay or whatever. That shit shouldn't matter they're your friends. Do what you gotta do man. More power to you. Oh and punch your dad, in the face for me.
For once, I agree with you...
psikooz: There's absolutely no shame in being a molestation victim. The only person who should be ashamed is your father. You've made a brave decision to come out and admit this happened and to seek help for the psychological damge done to you. I wish you all the best, and hope you keep us posted on your progress....
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Dreamer987
The VerbalHerman Munster
Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 5,326
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 16 years, 3 months
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 Re: Something i need to talk about. [Re: psikooz]
#4372186 - 07/05/05 12:32 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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your very brave for sharing this.
It seems like your on your way to recovering, and getting some kind of closure.
Punch your dad in the face.
Talk to the rest of your family about this. There is a (7?) year statue of limitations for these sourts of cases.
You should mabey try to put your dad in prison. Espesially if he's done the same thing to your other family members.
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psikooz
Stranger
Registered: 07/19/03
Posts: 1,023
Loc: Los Angeles
Last seen: 13 years, 3 months
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Re: Something i need to talk about. [Re: Dreamer987]
#4372263 - 07/05/05 01:03 PM (18 years, 9 months ago) |
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Wow i appreciate all of this very much!
Whats going down is that i talked to the divorce psychologist about this and shes going to report it the the child protective services. There going to come down and interview my little brother as well as me, but they really cant do anything cause im 18 now. But i have this really bad fealing that hes done something to my brother... This is really hard stuff to right about, it doesnt even feal real.
i really appreciate the kind fealings that have passed onto this message board.
I feal pretty good today, i still have to tell my close friends, im trying to gather the strength to do that. .I know there not going to judge me, but its just a real hard thing to bring out into the open, its definatley something that is going to throw them off a little.
Tonite im leaving to lake tahoe to spend time with my mother and my brothers, and im allso going to catch particle on friday, woo hoo!
Thank you all very much
Ill keep you updated.
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