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 GringoLoco
I spit in theface of peoplewho ain't cool.
Registered: 10/08/01
Posts: 6,118
Loc: Monterey, CA
Last seen: 15 years, 6 months
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 I really wish I knew how to talk to women 
#1474289 - 04/19/03 08:39 PM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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Have you ever seen a cartoon? I'm sure all know what I mean, whenever Pepe Le Pew or somebody sees a girl, their heart starts beating out of their chest, eyes bug out, they get all ga ga gooey when they try to speak to them.
That is me in a nutshell. I can't talk to a girl if I find her attractive. That ugly old hag who sold me my pretzel? Not a problem. But the instant I see something desirable in a girl, I have to avoid her at all times without the risk of me looking like a total moron. This is not just a problem in the terms of seeking companionship, it is something that affects my every day life. If that girl behind the counter at Burger King is pretty, I go to another register. If I see a chick on the other side of the mall, yep, I stay clear the hell away from her. I have never been on a date in my life because I can't get the balls to even look a chick in the eyes.
How the hell did I fall so far behind on such a fundamental aspect of life? I never really ever had a strategy for getting a girl, I just tried to adapt the moods at certain times in my life to finding one. Examples -
The "Jackass" approach - I tried to be the most outrageous person in the world, doing shameless crap like stair diving at school or getting in fake fights in the hopes that I'd get laid. Result - Much ridicule by my peers and I got hella rugburn.
The "Vegeta" approach - Be hostile to everybody. Get in a lot of fights. Walk around always looking pissed off. Kick doors down, why the hell did someone invent doorknobs in the first place? Surely one hot, smart chick will realize you're just an insecure puss on the inside, right? Result - I got my ass kicked and put in anger management class. Damn them.
The "I'm a guy who can handle his shit and I'm gonna fuck myself up to the point of not being able to lift myself off the ground." - Yeah, thats right, I actually tried to impress chicks by drinking quarts of Vodka. It didn't work that well, I guess alcohol = sex = not in my case. Result - A really bad hangover and I about 5 pounds of my vomit live in the sewers now.
The "I'm a loser who can't get chicks" method - Booo hooo nobody likes me, I'm such a weenie, why, I deserve somebody, but I'm gonna ask someone out, I'm gonna let them come to me. No, chicks just apparently don't have a shred of sympathy with me.
I know this is unorthodox. But I just don't have any real strategy because I'm such a coward. Am I doomed to spend the rest of my life in this miserable, self imposed rut? I'm a puss, I have issues, I deserve somebody damn it. Not like all those assholes who just get a trophy girlfriend to brag to their drinking buddies with, and end up beating. I'd treat a girl right. Why do they always win and I lose?
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AbFab
me
Registered: 12/16/02
Posts: 363
Loc: Here
Last seen: 20 years, 4 months
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 Re: I really wish I knew how to talk to women [Re: GringoLoco]
#1474563 - 04/19/03 09:44 PM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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first of all, none of those approaches work for anyone, so it is no wonder that they failed. my advice is to get some chick friends. you say that you don't have a problem talking to girls that you don't find attractive, so maybe if you culivated a friendship with some girls that you weren't that attracted to, but that you liked and can chill with and talk to. Once you become really comfortable hanging out with girls and talking to them it will be easier for you to talk to girls that you are attracted to. plus girls as friends will help to boost your self-esteem and becoming more confident will help you with the ladies as well.
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The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when your uncool.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: I really wish I knew how to talk to women [Re: GringoLoco]
#1474819 - 04/19/03 10:48 PM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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Ellis Dee
Archangel
Registered: 06/29/01
Posts: 13,104
Loc: Fire in the sky
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
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Re: I really wish I knew how to talk to women [Re: GringoLoco]
#1475494 - 04/20/03 01:55 AM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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Pretend they're not special if they're a stone fox. IMO it's the only way. I dated a model for a couple months and I treated he like dirt and always put her down. I did my best to make her feel inadiquate, like she was lucky to have me. Truth is she was a ten, but I've got a skill for reading people and I know the type that wants treated special, and the type that needs treated like poo. This model, when she told me she was a model was telling me about how beautifl she was. I told her no way was she a model, just plain, maybe she could be a hand model. It shocked her because she was used to hearing how pretty she was. It's like being a salesman, just get your foot in the door and you're halfway to the sale. Same with girls, just talk to them without showing how goofy you are. Works for me. 
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"If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do."-King Solomon
And there was war in heaven: Michael and his angels fought against the dragon; and the dragon fought and his angels,
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MarkostheGnostic
Elder
Registered: 12/09/99
Posts: 14,279
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 7 months
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Re: I really wish I knew how to talk to women [Re: GringoLoco]
#1476482 - 04/20/03 01:06 PM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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You're seeing women primarily through the 'I' of your second chakra - the sexual center - and evaluating them on the basis of their immediate effect on your sexual desire. You NEED to start seeing women as human beings FIRST, before their evaluation in terms of how they energize your second chakra.
It is all about love, compassionate love, not erotic love. Pratically speaking, after you notice intense beauty, you must put that perception in the back of your mind, and proceed to desire to know what that being is like behind her appearance. She knows that she's beautiful - she gets told constantly, and from all kinds of men, if not simply looked at with desire. This gets old to all but the most narcissistic women whose whole trip is being desired - like exhibitionistic stripper types. Women want to look good to attract THEIR choice of man, and it is always their choice, not yours. They will let you know if they're interested in their own subtle female ways. Earlier today, shopping in a large health supermarket with my Lady, I beheld another stunning woman. She knew I was looking at her - we were within inches. I watched her walk away, and she spun around, swishing fabulous long blond hair, and looked me straight in the eyes. I smiled very slightly and turned away. If I were single, I'd approach her and say "Hi," and if she were interested, she would make me feel comfortable - perhaps smile back and wait to see what I had to say. Otherwise she might say hi back, and walk away, or simply ignore me in which case she would be rude AND uninterested. Playing hard-to-get is an adolescent or bimboesque game, and I don't play games, so nothing would happen. If she seemed interested, I would simply say that I couldn't help notice her and I wondered if she were available (if I didn't already see rings on her finger). I would be completely transparent and truthful - tell her she is stunning, and would love/treasure/be honored to get to know her if possible. No sleazy gestures or expressions from me - just truth, admiration and humility before great beauty. If a woman is not interested in honesty and gentlemanly behavior, with enough assertiveness (balls) to step up to her - then she is not interested in me, and conversely, I am not interested in a relationship with her. If all you think about is sex, she'll pick that up, and figure that you simply view her as a sex object - second chakra perception. Remember, beautiful women don't need that from you, since they call the shots. If they wanted just that, they could get male models with no minds.
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γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
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 Zwieback0
Baby Bread
Registered: 08/23/02
Posts: 3,473
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Re: I really wish I knew how to talk to women [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
#1477523 - 04/20/03 08:57 PM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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You can talk to ugl girls right? Ugly girls always have hot friends 
Make friends with those ugly girls, allow them to put a good word in for you...and BOOM, there you go!
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Captain Jack
i [heart] you
Registered: 01/23/00
Posts: 4,113
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Re: I really wish I knew how to talk to women [Re: Zwieback0]
#1478107 - 04/21/03 01:15 AM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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how old are you?
if you're in HS, i think a lot of people get more confident as they get older....
as for your "methods"...umm....
girls are people. some people here seem to forget that. just talk to them like they're normal regular people. if there's chemistry, then flirt.
but if you can't talk to any cute girls, i'll just say don't be thinking "oh man she'll never date me", just talk to them like they're friends, or that you want to be friends. you might be surprised.
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Captain Jack has been hailed as a brilliant scholar, discredited as a brilliant fraud, and mistaken for a much taller man on several occasions.
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bert
bodhi
Registered: 10/14/02
Posts: 2,819
Loc: state
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Re: I really wish I knew how to talk to women [Re: GringoLoco]
#1478195 - 04/21/03 02:57 AM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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Definitely get chick friends. For some reason, they love to hook their guy friends up with their friends. This is how I met just about every girl I've been with.
Try being witty, they like that too. Good luck.
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Persons denying the existence of robots may be robots themselves.
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vampirism
Stranger
Registered: 03/14/04
Posts: 8,120
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Re: I really wish I knew how to talk to women [Re: GringoLoco]
#1479369 - 04/21/03 03:09 PM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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Id just like to add one thing- make sure to smile alot and seem interested- Ive learned that not smiling at some points makes them feel very awkward about you, and just see you as uninterested.. Alas, seems that I've forgotten how to smile as a sign of interest or comfort..
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Zwieback0
Baby Bread
Registered: 08/23/02
Posts: 3,473
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Re: I really wish I knew how to talk to women [Re: ]
#1480128 - 04/21/03 07:25 PM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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Look in the mirror. How do you see yourself, physically and spiritually? If you find anything that you think the opposite sex would categorize as a flaw, TRY to change it. Everyone says "be yourself" but this usually doesnt work. For example, if your a natural bitch, no wonder people would avoid you, try to be nice. If youre shy, try to get out more and talk to people...if you cant talk to girls, start out with guy friends and slowly move up. It takes time, but you have to start somewhere sometime.
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vampirism
Stranger
Registered: 03/14/04
Posts: 8,120
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Re: I really wish I knew how to talk to women [Re: Zwieback0]
#1480328 - 04/21/03 08:44 PM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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what if you appear stoic most of the time and cant seem to change it?
( not assuming that u meant 2 reply to me tho )
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Zwieback0
Baby Bread
Registered: 08/23/02
Posts: 3,473
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Re: I really wish I knew how to talk to women [Re: ]
#1480428 - 04/21/03 09:12 PM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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Try to find the reason why youre so indifferent. Take that negative concept and make something out of it. Find something that you love/like in your life and hold onto it. It will eventually save you in the long run.
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GringoLoco
I spit in theface of peoplewho ain't cool.
Registered: 10/08/01
Posts: 6,118
Loc: Monterey, CA
Last seen: 15 years, 6 months
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Re: I really wish I knew how to talk to women [Re: ]
#1480447 - 04/21/03 09:18 PM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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Too bad, I've lost my smile as well. I just can't look like a happy dude anymore.
Okay, keep the advice coming, but I have one question that hasn't even been attempted to be asked.
WHERE?
Where the hell am I supposed to meet some chicks for just friendship, and move on from there. I don't go to school, I'm currently unemployed, recently quit drugs, don't party anymore...... in essence I sit on my ass at home all day. And just how the hell do you "strike up a conversation"? I don't know ANYBODY.
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vampirism
Stranger
Registered: 03/14/04
Posts: 8,120
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Re: I really wish I knew how to talk to women [Re: GringoLoco]
#1480474 - 04/21/03 09:28 PM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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er.
get out more
might as well start at some random bar?
edit ( reply to last guy who replied to me): its not indifference- im just sort of SEEM ( im not really ) very mentally distracted...
Edited by Morrowind (04/21/03 09:34 PM)
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Zwieback0
Baby Bread
Registered: 08/23/02
Posts: 3,473
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Re: I really wish I knew how to talk to women [Re: ]
#1480598 - 04/21/03 10:07 PM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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MorrowWind: You cant pay attention? Do you have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder)? Ill get back to you after that
As for Gringo: Do you have ANY friends at all? Family? IN my opinion, avoid bars for now, they socially demanding and may lead to trouble. IE. You go drinking in search for a girl to talk to, you cant find one, you get frustrated, you drink all night...doesnt do any good. I believe the best way is to find something that interests you and join a club or something. Or maybe even a support group. Its probably the best place to begin a long lasting friendship(Woman/Man) with someone that shares common grounds with you.
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GringoLoco
I spit in theface of peoplewho ain't cool.
Registered: 10/08/01
Posts: 6,118
Loc: Monterey, CA
Last seen: 15 years, 6 months
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Re: I really wish I knew how to talk to women [Re: Zwieback0]
#1480667 - 04/21/03 10:25 PM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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Yes, I have a group of friends, but I am extremely antisocial by nature, we all had a common bond (we all lost our jobs at about the same time and we all mutually agreed to stop drugs). Since said bond was broken, our fellowship has kind of disbanded and we're going different paths.
The problem with the friends approach - They are born skirt chasers, and their damn good at it. Being so, anywhere we're at they usually stake their claim on the babes, and leave me with jack shit. So I really have to do this all by myself. Too young to go to a bar.... got NO interests at all that could mean a common place of gathering...... Hm......
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Zwieback0
Baby Bread
Registered: 08/23/02
Posts: 3,473
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Re: I really wish I knew how to talk to women [Re: GringoLoco]
#1480693 - 04/21/03 10:32 PM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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Ask your friends on what their secret in wooing women.
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Zero7a1
Leaving YourWasteland
Registered: 10/23/02
Posts: 3,594
Loc: Passing Cloud
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Re: I really wish I knew how to talk to women [Re: GringoLoco]
#1480739 - 04/21/03 10:44 PM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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you ought to have more respect for yourself dear friend! and dont hang around the Dogs. If you wish to please and be pleased by such fine fille's you need not hang your tongue out, or howl to the moon! heh. just be yourself. let go. maybe you should stop caring about finding a girl first... no no... STop caring. and dont keep your mind set on the physical either. just let go. you never know when you could be day dreaming in the park, and some intelligent, nice, and beutiful woman comes and sits right next to you and starts talking to you! so i say man, let it go, let it flow! but if you must know, sometimes these things that seem a woe is just really a show to some such as ME. i had a gf... and it ended badly. those things you care about and think about at first sometimes quickly change into something unexpected, and soon undesirables start to make their way to the norm and then it just blows ass. Keep your head up and dont worry too much about it. take strolls... CARPE DIEM!
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What?
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GringoLoco
I spit in theface of peoplewho ain't cool.
Registered: 10/08/01
Posts: 6,118
Loc: Monterey, CA
Last seen: 15 years, 6 months
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Re: I really wish I knew how to talk to women [Re: Zero7a1]
#1480771 - 04/21/03 10:55 PM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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Maybe I oughta clarifiy, when I say they "skirt chase", it means they get a chick drunk one night and fuck them. Thats not what I want, I'm looking to please my heart, not just my other body organs 
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Zero7a1
Leaving YourWasteland
Registered: 10/23/02
Posts: 3,594
Loc: Passing Cloud
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Re: I really wish I knew how to talk to women [Re: GringoLoco]
#1480889 - 04/21/03 11:36 PM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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Well even better! they truely dont know how to "please" the ladies. Maybe you dont give yourself enough credit, and youve just met some shallow girls. Give yourself a chance, and maybe some fine lady will too  hehe.
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What?
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vampirism
Stranger
Registered: 03/14/04
Posts: 8,120
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Re: I really wish I knew how to talk to women [Re: Zwieback0]
#1481618 - 04/22/03 05:56 AM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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eh
no, i dont have ADD
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Captain Jack
i [heart] you
Registered: 01/23/00
Posts: 4,113
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Re: I really wish I knew how to talk to women [Re: ]
#1481632 - 04/22/03 06:09 AM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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get a job.
or go to school.
you should be doing one or both of those things anyway.
and there's where you can meet girls.
if you don't like either of those, try the personals.
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Captain Jack has been hailed as a brilliant scholar, discredited as a brilliant fraud, and mistaken for a much taller man on several occasions.
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vampirism
Stranger
Registered: 03/14/04
Posts: 8,120
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Re: I really wish I knew how to talk to women [Re: Captain Jack]
#1482470 - 04/22/03 01:19 PM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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::sigh::
i wonder if any of you are actually replying to >me< ?
i have no problem meeting girls
i have somewhat of a problem in getting them to think im interested in them for a while
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Zwieback0
Baby Bread
Registered: 08/23/02
Posts: 3,473
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Re: I really wish I knew how to talk to women [Re: ]
#1483153 - 04/22/03 04:40 PM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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Morrowwind...Flirt with them. I dont know what else to tell you, but if you flirt with them enough they will eventually get the idea and if they are also interested BOOM a blooming relationship.
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Cracka_X
Spiritual Dirt Worshipper
Registered: 01/25/03
Posts: 8,809
Loc: Swamp
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Re: I really wish I knew how to talk to women [Re: ]
#1499266 - 04/27/03 10:47 PM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
www.sosuave.com
hahaha, i knew you'd have a site like that thx
yea I get shy as fuck, basically what Grinco said. I wanted to talk to this one girl who's a dream but was too hesitant and then another dude would come up n talk to her. That window of opportunity doesn't stay open for long.
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The best way to live
is to be like water
For water benefits all things
and goes against none of them
It provides for all people
and even cleanses those places
a man is loath to go
In this way it is just like Tao ~Daodejing
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Sheepish
Registered: 04/02/02
Posts: 10,137
Loc: Exile
Last seen: 6 years, 4 months
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 Re: I really wish I knew how to talk to women [Re: Cracka_X]
#1499987 - 04/28/03 03:49 AM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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Same here. When it comes to girls I don't know, and find something about them appealing and attractive, I completely fuck up and get really shy. For that matter, I tend to not approach girls unless they seem to like me. I don't drop lines, or smooth talk, that's not the way I work - I would rather know that they were interested in me in the first place, and not have to play some kind of twisted game and bullshit to convince them to go home with you.
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PooPs
What's thisfor???
Registered: 03/05/03
Posts: 4,510
Loc: Stirrin up the pile!
Last seen: 15 years, 5 months
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Re: I really wish I knew how to talk to women [Re: Sheepish]
#1500146 - 04/28/03 08:20 AM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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Well Well Well.......
start off by looking for someone compatible.. a few questions for you!!
1- how old are you
2- level of education completed. highshool, college, 2nd grade.....
3- Do you live with your parents
4- From the way you write, you are not dumb..
5- BE YOURSELF .stop trying to project an image that you are not. be a nice guy!
6- Stop looking, / trying so hard.
7- What are your hobbies / likes dislikes..
Don't imitate your friends. or find new ones...
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Sniff, Sniff... What's that smell???... ohhhhh.!!
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Pot Free for another : nevermind.. never made it..
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shroominbloom
i have arrived
Registered: 11/18/02
Posts: 457
Last seen: 18 years, 5 months
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Re: I really wish I knew how to talk to women [Re: PooPs]
#1501710 - 04/28/03 06:10 PM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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#5 - I agree and disagree. You have to be a nice guy at heart, but you can't show only the nice guy. You have to have a little bit of playful (or even not so playful, but not downright mean either) "jerk" from time to time. If a girl thinks (or even worse, knows) that she can walk all over you, she will, and she won't respect you and won't become attracted to you (or lose what attraction she had).
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ha
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Strumpling
Neuronaut
Registered: 10/11/02
Posts: 7,571
Loc: Hyperspace
Last seen: 13 years, 3 months
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Re: I really wish I knew how to talk to women [Re: shroominbloom]
#1501770 - 04/28/03 06:31 PM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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You should practice insulting women at your local bar. I think it will show you that they're not as dangerous as you might believe.
edit(addition): actually, don't do this at the LOCAL bar... go elsewhere so they can't spread the word about you next time you go in 
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Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE
Edited by Strumpling (04/28/03 06:32 PM)
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PooPs
What's thisfor???
Registered: 03/05/03
Posts: 4,510
Loc: Stirrin up the pile!
Last seen: 15 years, 5 months
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Re: I really wish I knew how to talk to women [Re: Strumpling]
#1501807 - 04/28/03 06:45 PM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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For example..
I like a chick that has a natural look, forget all the makeup, lipstick, skin and bones..
I don't like extreem fat.. grosses me out.. but i do like a shapely figure, the ass has to be round.....
I like an intelligent girl, mature is important, outgoing, who don't drink heavy and who does not smoke tons of dope.. even if i do in moderation.
I don't care about hair colour, all good, boobs are a plus, but boob size ain't important..
This is all optimal , in no specific order..... but do you get the idea..
what do YOU want in a girl?
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Sniff, Sniff... What's that smell???... ohhhhh.!!
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Pot Free for another : nevermind.. never made it..
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SWAY
SurrealPhantasmicSubConscious
Registered: 04/11/03
Posts: 71
Loc: A Dream...
Last seen: 21 years, 3 months
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Re: I really wish I knew how to talk to women [Re: PooPs]
#1501831 - 04/28/03 06:55 PM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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I can completely relate to this topic, once i develop a real interest in some girl i usually get mentally destroyed before i even talk to them but i think i might be getting better...
but i got a question if anybody cares to answer -- How do you tell if a girl is truly interested in you?
Like if you both exchange smiles alot and you both talk to eachother like friends sorta then do you think they might be interested?
I'm really struggling with this, i am in highschool and i just cant tell when a girl is interested or if shes a potential girlfriend
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?People keep searching for happines in the outside, what they don't know is that it's in the inside?
?In an infinite universe, anything that can exist, must exist? Bear
?To think too long about doing a thing often becomes its undoing? Eva Young
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