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Offlinefreddurgan
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Registered: 01/11/04
Posts: 3,648
Last seen: 4 years, 9 months
Happiest when on drugs
    #4001146 - 04/01/05 05:16 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

I don't even do drugs very often.

Pot on the weekends. I've done DXM like 3 times. Havent eaten Mushrooms in months. Acid? Its been like 8 months? Ran out of Red Dawn a long time ago.

But every day I am just wistful. I tell myself not to take drugs because I know I can't handle them if I let myself go.

I'm sitting here listening to Absoloum and just *fantasizing* about being on alot of DXM or X or something and just raving out. I have body chills.

But this is the only thing that makes me happy =( Life is so dull it makes me want to cry sometimes.


--------------------
Ishmael
http://www.ishmael.org

Ron Paul 2008!
http://www.ronpaul2008.com/


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OfflineThe_Hobbit
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Registered: 04/06/04
Posts: 1,382
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Re: Happiest when on drugs [Re: freddurgan]
    #4001581 - 04/01/05 06:47 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Life isn't dull.. sitting there doing nothing is dull.

I'm bored, too. I have no serious hobbies (besides bodybuilding), I only work from Mon-Thur, and I dropped out of school. I already know what I'm going to do today - go to the gym, and then waste time on the net, watch a movie, whatever I can think of to pass the time.

That doesn't mean I couldn't find something to do. I could call up a girl I like and see if she wants to hang out. I could call up my friends and hang out with them. Whatever. You could think of things to do, too. Go out and take a walk. Go running. Push yourself until you nearly pass out. Do something to realize that you're alive. Or you could sit at home and dwell on how shitty your life is. It's up to you.


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Smoking my hobbit leaf...
Please keep in mind that I am just a human being. Please read my posts carefully and interpret their meaning for yourself.


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Offlinetomk
King of OTD

Registered: 09/22/04
Posts: 1,559
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 1 year, 23 days
Re: Happiest when on drugs [Re: The_Hobbit]
    #4002042 - 04/01/05 08:57 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Stanislov Graf theorized that a lot of people who do drugs are trying to satisfy a spiritual drive that has a lot in common with the sex drive.

Try learning about meditation. Also, see a doctor, man. If you don't get pleasure out of life, you need help from a doctor. It's a serious medical condition, not something to snap out of. To you, it will feel like you don't need one. But, approach one anyway, and then tell him "I don't think i need a doctor, but some other people do, because they say..." and then listen to what the doctor says.

Make sure to find a good doctor who is not condemning towards drug use.

*tomk has had bouts of severe depression*


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"I am eternally free"


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InvisibleLocus
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Posts: 6,049
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Re: Happiest when on drugs [Re: freddurgan]
    #4004000 - 04/02/05 07:52 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

yeah, there is something wrong when you need drugs to be happy... i am like that also. except that im an addict. but i was like this before i was addicted to one drug as well so either way. now, im ok when im on my drug, but when im not i am wasting every moment needing it and waiting to get on it again just to feel ok again, to feel content for just a little while. it's a fucked up way of living and it's not the way to live. im just telling you so i can empathize on some level. my own life is completely fucked and i don't know what i'll do myself. i hope the best for your own life though, i think there are many things you can do to help yourself. dont know how much you can be helped though. it seems like you've got a case of depression to me. so you're going to have to do something about it. there are so many depressed people out there and still not a solid way of really helping people. antidepressants are so fucked up for a lot of people including myself which makes it not an option. other things just dont seem to work sometimes. i think it can be really tough sometimes. my situation is a hell of a lot more than just depression though, but im not referring to myself. im just talking in general about depression in this modern age. and you, and so on.. i dunno..


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The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity. ~ Albert Einstein
"Fear is the great barrier to human growth." ~ Dr. Robert Monroe



~~~*Dosis sola facit venenum*~~~

*Check my profile to listen to my music* :smile:


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Offlinebarfightlard
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Re: Happiest when on drugs [Re: freddurgan]
    #4004442 - 04/02/05 12:23 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

I'm the same way. We shouldn't have to be this way......I know I should be able to get more out of life, but it's all lost meaning now. I'd like to get that back, but most of the time it feels hopless.

have you tried finding things that make you happy??


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"What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?" - Bill Hicks


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OfflineJCoke
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Registered: 02/17/04
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Re: Happiest when on drugs [Re: barfightlard]
    #4007918 - 04/03/05 09:14 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

i agree with tomk you should look into meditation.

and/or look into other little daily habits to get into, riding a bike for a while, lifting weights/jogging, reading lots of books, look into religion, get a girl/boyfriend, just find one thing that sparks some interest and dig into it, you like music? art? sports? gardening? find some to do with it, seriously, if you like growing shrooms you might like groweing any/everything else, edible gourmet shrooms, flowers and herbal shit, just anything, it's really a matter of replacing the drive to get fucked up with something else.

if you're young, the best thing to do might be to just do alot of drugs now, and get bored by them,, so you will have to find a new hobby,,,or is that bad advice? just stay away from the addictive stuff like opiates/coke..


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hello, your name is life on earth
------------------------------------

"I traveled a long way seeking God, but when I finally gave up and turned back, there He was, within me! O Lalli! Now why do you wander like a beggar? Make some effort, and He will grant you a vision of Himself in the form of bliss in your heart." -the saint of the Kashmir Shaivism tradition: Lalli.


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InvisibleCloud9
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Re: Happiest when on drugs [Re: JCoke]
    #4007949 - 04/03/05 09:56 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

I'm bored in life without drugs, but i'm usualy just as bored on drugs, just bored and fucked up.


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Invisiblemoog
Stranger

Registered: 02/15/05
Posts: 1,296
Re: Happiest when on drugs [Re: freddurgan]
    #4008265 - 04/03/05 01:12 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

This is nothing to be ashamed of. There's nothing "wrong" with being happiest when on drugs. Don't feel guilty about this. There are lots of people like you who enjoy the expanded consciousness of the drug-induced state more than normal sober life. There is good reason for this, too. Like tomk said you may be fulfilling your spiritual drive with drugs. I know I do. There's more to reality than just this trite material world, and you can "see" more of it using drugs.

However, since you can't be high 24/7 (you can try but I wouldn't recommend it), you have to learn how to enjoy being sober too. There are things in the material world that can take your mind to new unexplored places too. Try travelling, or reading a good book, or learning a new hobby. If you feel too lazy or too ingrained in your habits to do something new, force yourself to do it. The most important thing to do to cure boredom is to get out of your usual routines and habits.


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OfflineGomp
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Re: Happiest when on drugs [Re: freddurgan]
    #4011938 - 04/04/05 09:59 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

freddurgan said:
I don't even do drugs very often.

Pot on the weekends. I've done DXM like 3 times. Havent eaten Mushrooms in months. Acid? Its been like 8 months? Ran out of Red Dawn a long time ago.

But every day I am just wistful. I tell myself not to take drugs because I know I can't handle them if I let myself go.

I'm sitting here listening to Absoloum and just *fantasizing* about being on alot of DXM or X or something and just raving out. I have body chills.

But this is the only thing that makes me happy =( Life is so dull it makes me want to cry sometimes.




Quote:


Gammelt ordtak: Man skal g? til rusen med sin glede og ikke med sin sorg... Rusen er et supplement til livet, og ikke en erstatning for livet.





an old saying: One 'should' do drugs being happy, not in grief.. Drugs supplement our  life, and 'should' not replace it.. :wink:


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Disclaimer!?


Edited by Gomp (04/04/05 10:00 AM)


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Offlinefreddurgan
Techgnostic
Male

Registered: 01/11/04
Posts: 3,648
Last seen: 4 years, 9 months
Re: Happiest when on drugs [Re: Gomp]
    #4012733 - 04/04/05 03:12 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Well I rarely do drugs if I'm in a shitty mood. Just the anticipation of doing drugs kind of gets me in a good sober mood, then the drugs themselves pretty much rock my world.

I just don't have a lot of outlets for things to do =( I would like to try gardening some interesting plants maybe..but I live in a college apartment on campus. I don't want to grow shrooms in a college apartment because sometimes they come in for some random checks for some stupid shit like the AC, and sometimes my parents come in here. I'd much rather have a house, but alas I'm here in this damn apartment again next year =(

I'm just socially starved but there is nothing out there for me. Everyone just plays sports =/ I really don't like sports. That is seriously the only thing to do to meet people around here.

Bah. I'm just bitching now.


--------------------
Ishmael
http://www.ishmael.org

Ron Paul 2008!
http://www.ronpaul2008.com/


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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
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Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 93,974
Loc: underbelly
Re: Happiest when on drugs [Re: freddurgan]
    #4012846 - 04/04/05 03:42 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Instead of using drugs for recreation, try using them to find out what's wrong with your life spirit.

Find a lonely place, preferably far from town and in the wilderness. If you're really scared have a trusted friend along on a low dose. Do this at night so you won't have any props to hang on to.

Mushrooms are the usual medicine. Take so much that you're scared of it. TM recommends 5 grams dried or more. Set your intent to find a new way of living. The more scared you are the better.

You may find out whats wrong and why you're bored and can't change it. It's risky for sure but really what do you have to lose.

I once felt as you do now. I changed and so can you. The Universe is amazingly entertaining if you are willing to confront it. :mushroom2:

I wish you all the best no matter what path you choose.  :heart:


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"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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Offlinelilbilski4life
fear andloathing inbozeman

Registered: 03/18/05
Posts: 199
Last seen: 9 years, 11 months
Re: Happiest when on drugs [Re: Icelander]
    #4013635 - 04/04/05 07:41 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

yea, do taht and u might wake up way more fucked then u went in. i would never suggest using drugs to fix ur life, i think u have to do that with time.


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InvisibleDark_Star
edible anus
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 08/21/04
Posts: 29,006
Loc: Kratmandu
Re: Happiest when on drugs [Re: lilbilski4life]
    #4014502 - 04/04/05 10:50 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Yeah, it could make it worse...but it often makes it better. LSD, mushrooms and ecstasy are responsible for so much good in my life that I don't where to begin....I'll say this though; they saved my life many times. I think shrooming to re-evaluate your life and back on track is a great idea.


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OfflineFliquid
Back from being gone.
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Registered: 03/18/02
Posts: 6,953
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Re: Happiest when on drugs [Re: freddurgan]
    #4016119 - 04/05/05 09:17 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Try to learn how to play a musical instrument.


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:dancing: My latest music! :yesnod:


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OfflineKerr
Who else would I be

Registered: 02/05/05
Posts: 1,611
Loc: My roots in the Koots
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
Re: Happiest when on drugs [Re: freddurgan]
    #4017481 - 04/05/05 03:38 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Go for a bike ride :smile:


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"Easy going and organic thoughts bent on self experimentation and knowledge and growth for the betterment of self and those around us"
-Playdo the philosophiser


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