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Offlinegotmagog
searching fortruth andlogic...

Registered: 01/18/04
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Am I Antisocial, Parties Depress Me
    #2718251 - 05/23/04 02:36 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I just hate parties, I feel awful at them. I barely speak and don't know what to say to people. I can't approach a stranger and start chatting with him, and I can't speak normally even with my friends. I usually stay quiet , try to find a couch somewhere, and just drink or smoke something so it appears I am doing something, and watch people and think about stuff. And at such parties I feel I just don't belong to the whole friendly and party atmospere of a college campus, seems everyone is having fun, just not me. Then usually the party depresses me, and I am sorry I came at all, and than I start torturing myself mentally, feeling alone in the middle of all the people.

I have good friends with which I have had good times, but it takes taken me many years to feel I am friend with someone. But even with them, I always prefer to be in a small group to feel comfortably. Whem i am at a party, I just don't enjoy myself there and try to persuade my friends to go to some apartment, chill out, smoke a joint or drink a beer socially, watch films, and just talk to each other. I may always say something interesting to my friends when I am comfortable and some people who have seen me only in this way think I am a very talkative and social person. That is my idea of a good time with friends, not a packed 40+ people event, where I just block and don't know what to say.

I wonder why I am like this. I am 22, soon 23 now. I was like this in the last 10 years. I thought for a while that weed had makes me asocial and paranoid, but I smoke only since 3 years, I hated parties long before my first joint, and I am socially passive even when sober for many weeks. I smoke weed because I have noting other to do when at a party, and not the other way, that I smoke and then can't do anything. When I was younger I just drunk myself senseless and felt to fit in more, but now i don't like to drink anymore.

Maybe the reason is that I hate to dance, just can't make my body to move, even when the music that plays is somethign I enjoy I prefer sitting down and listening to it. I visit sometimes concerts, but again can't immerse myself in the vibe.

I am a person who thinks a lot about stuff, math, philosophy and psychology, and some friends have told me that I think too muvh and have a too abstract way of thinking. But this is no excuse, many people are also intellectual but have no problem to enjoy parties and fit well with people.

I even think sometimes that all of the party life and smalltalk at them is a social game, and I am the stupid one who does not know what to do and how to play his role. I think sometimes that others also have the same sad feelings like me, but pretend well that everything is perfect, but I guess I am just deluding myself here. I am not a good actor and I just can't force mayself to pretend to be happy at a party.

So, this worries me somehow, I feel this way I miss something in life. Is this some kind of personality disorder, or just a lifestyle choice that won't actually matter at the end if I enjoy myself and have a few good friends. I will have trouble meeting a girlfriend this way, but I hope I will find at the end someone like me who does not like parties and dancing actually. Or I should try to change myself and force myself to be social, though I hate it, and learn to like it?

Maybe a shroom trip will be a tool to learn to mix well with people, or what is the point of mixing at all, or to find what is wrong in my psyche and whether I have a psychological problem or not. I have not been yet to a psychoanalyst about this, the idea freaks me out, so I try to find by myself if anything is wrong.

Peace and love to u all


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OfflineHBS
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Re: Am I Antisocial, Parties Depress Me [Re: gotmagog]
    #2718312 - 05/23/04 02:55 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

i'm the same ... when i was younger i *thought* that going to parties where a bunch of retarded people get wasted and say stupid shit all night was fun ...

truly, the only way of being able to 'enjoy it' was to get fucked up enough that i didn't care about what was going on ...

by the end of the night or the next morning, i always asked myself 'was this really fun after all?' ... generally parties would end with everybody passing out trashed on the floor or wherever possible, with trash and shit everywhere, and the toilets would be clogged up with shit and i'd feel so uncomfortable that all i could think about was how much better it felt to be anywhere but there

frankly this is the same reason i no longer attend raves ...

Quote:

Maybe the reason is that I hate to dance, just can't make my body to move, even when the music that plays is somethign I enjoy I prefer sitting down and listening to it. I visit sometimes concerts, but again can't immerse myself in the vibe.




i'm with you on that one ... dancing just makes me feel too uppity and irritable, akin to when i used to hit meth ... and i feel like an idiot when i do it since i have no flow or desire to even do it ... i enjoy music sitting down and HATE being at concerts where i am forced to stand up and deal with aggressive people pushing and moshing and stuff ... i get fatigued and cant think about the music, i can only think about enduring it until i can find a place to sit down

there's nothing 'wrong' with you or i, it's just that we aren't into 'the scene' ... if anything i'm happier this way, as i save my liver and i relate with people who i don't believe are just telling me shit because they're fucked up ...


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Offlinebarfightlard
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Re: Am I Antisocial, Parties Depress Me [Re: gotmagog]
    #2720761 - 05/23/04 11:55 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I am the exact same way. I don't really know what to say other than it sucks.


--------------------

"What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?" - Bill Hicks


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OfflineHypnoToad
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Re: Am I Antisocial, Parties Depress Me [Re: gotmagog]
    #2721625 - 05/24/04 06:00 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Sounds like me.lol I just cannot understand the point of a party.Dozens of people stand in a house or place,get drunk or high for no reason then they stand around for hours saying nothing of importance or of any depth.

I cannot dance because I lack the emotion and emotional drive to dance.There is nothing that makes me want to,qoute,"move my body".

I have chalked this up to a few things including A) Socializing in such a manner isnt for everyone and certainly isnt for me and B) I have no desire to dance and no reason to.

Do not torture yourself by forcing yourself to socialize in these conditions.Socialize on YOUR terms,in your comfortable situation.

I personally cannot "small talk" because I do no think or say superficial things and small talk is nothing but superficial filler instead of discussing anything with real meaning or depth.

Instead of getting down on yourself because you're not like everyone else,be glad that you are much deeper than everyone else at the parties.You seem to realize parties are superficial emptiness at best,You realize small talk isnt saying anything real.

You sound fairly smart to me.Perhaps you cannot relate to others because they are not on the level of depth you are on.


--------------------
"There is no fire like lust, no grip like hate, no net like delusions, no river like craving."



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InvisiblePinhead
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Re: Am I Antisocial, Parties Depress Me [Re: gotmagog]
    #2721643 - 05/24/04 06:43 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I was that way too when I was younger.Now I really don't give a fuck what people think about me. (I think that was part of my problem before)I've come to the realization that I really don't care for people much.


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Offlinel0st
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Re: Am I Antisocial, Parties Depress Me [Re: gotmagog]
    #2721666 - 05/24/04 07:25 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Maybe a shroom trip will be a tool to learn to mix well with people, or what is the point of mixing at all, or to find what is wrong in my psyche and whether I have a psychological problem or not. I have not been yet to a psychoanalyst about this, the idea freaks me out, so I try to find by myself if anything is wrong.





dude, the LAST thing u want to do is take shrooms and freak out, cuz i think thats where u are heading.

just try to talk this out with someone. taking shrooms when u already feel shitty is a recipe for disaster.


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OfflineCleverName
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Re: Am I Antisocial, Parties Depress Me [Re: gotmagog]
    #2721754 - 05/24/04 09:31 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

the same thing happened to me. i just grew out of it. my friends didnt understand and thought i just didnt them anymore...but that wasnt the case. all they do is get high, sit around, and get drunk. for the last few years before i moved on, i would hate going to parties with the same people, doing the same things...it all felt empty to me.

i started doing things that i enjoyed. going to bookstores, cafes, joining different clubs at school, i would find live music(im a musician and get a thrill watching live music). you will find there is an array of other things to do. find your passion.

and theres nothing wrong with you. you are maturing, growing up. doing shrooms wont solve anything.


--------------------
if you can't find the truth right where you are, where else do you expect to find it?

this is the purpose


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Offlinejarby
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Re: Am I Antisocial, Parties Depress Me [Re: CleverName]
    #2733279 - 05/26/04 06:21 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Wow I'm just the same, was even thinking about making a topic like this too, but I think my 'anti-socialness' stems from a slightly different reason. Its funny because one of my friends directly quoted, "You think too much" to me, just as your's said as well. At the time I (and my other friend there) just laughed it off, but the more I think about it, the more truth I see in it :wink:.

I was just at a party last Friday where the only thing I really remember is thinking how much I'd love to be in my room all night and that I was bored as fuck and felt like I was looking stupid because I wasn't going around talking to everyone. Also I suck as at basketball, which my friends decided they'd play and I don't know how to play almost any of the card games going on that night (actually I only know like 5 in total anyway), so that didn't help either.

I don't want to look antisocial by just simply not showing up at these things, but I feel an obligation so when people say "what'd you do last weekend" I can say I got tanked at so-and-so's party.


Edited by jarby (05/26/04 06:22 PM)


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Invisible40oz
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Re: Am I Antisocial, Parties Depress Me [Re: gotmagog]
    #2733614 - 05/26/04 07:40 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

gotmagog said:
I just hate parties, I feel awful at them. I barely speak and don't know what to say to people. I can't approach a stranger and start chatting with him, and I can't speak normally even with my friends. I usually stay quiet , try to find a couch somewhere, and just drink or smoke something so it appears I am doing something, and watch people and think about stuff. And at such parties I feel I just don't belong to the whole friendly and party atmospere of a college campus, seems everyone is having fun, just not me. Then usually the party depresses me, and I am sorry I came at all, and than I start torturing myself mentally, feeling alone in the middle of all the people.

I have good friends with which I have had good times, but it takes taken me many years to feel I am friend with someone. But even with them, I always prefer to be in a small group to feel comfortably. Whem i am at a party, I just don't enjoy myself there and try to persuade my friends to go to some apartment, chill out, smoke a joint or drink a beer socially, watch films, and just talk to each other. I may always say something interesting to my friends when I am comfortable and some people who have seen me only in this way think I am a very talkative and social person.  That is my idea of a good time with friends, not a packed 40+ people event, where I just block and don't know what to say.

I wonder why I am like this. I am 22, soon 23 now.  I was like this in the last 10 years. I thought for a while that weed had makes me asocial and paranoid, but I smoke only since 3 years, I hated parties long before my first joint, and I am socially passive even when sober for many weeks. I smoke weed because I have noting other to do when at a party, and not the other way, that I smoke and then can't do anything. When I was younger I just drunk myself senseless and felt to fit in more, but now i don't like to drink anymore.

Maybe the reason is that I hate to dance, just can't make my body to move, even when the music that plays is somethign I enjoy I prefer sitting down and listening to it. I visit sometimes concerts, but again can't immerse myself in the vibe.

I am a person who thinks a lot about stuff, math, philosophy and psychology, and some friends have told me that I think too muvh and have a too abstract way of thinking.  But this is no excuse, many people are also intellectual but have no problem to enjoy parties and fit well with people.

I even think sometimes that all of the party life and smalltalk at them is a social game, and I am the stupid one who does not know what to do and how to play his role. I think sometimes that others also have the same sad feelings like me, but pretend well that everything is perfect, but I guess I am just deluding myself here. I am not a good actor and I just can't force mayself to pretend to be happy at a party.

So, this worries me somehow, I feel this way I miss something in life. Is this some kind of personality  disorder, or just a lifestyle choice that won't actually matter at the end if I enjoy myself and have a few good friends. I will have trouble meeting a girlfriend this way, but I hope I will find at the end someone like me who does not like parties and dancing actually. Or I should try to change myself and force myself to be social, though I hate it, and learn to like it?

Maybe  a shroom trip will be a tool to learn to mix well with people, or what is the point of mixing at all, or to find what is wrong in my psyche and whether I have a psychological problem or not. I have not been yet to a psychoanalyst about this, the idea freaks me  out, so I try to find by myself if anything is wrong.

Peace and love to u all




i used to think just like this.
but then, when all my friends were going out
and i was sitting home all alone...i thought that was pretty fucking lame as well.
i asked what the hell i was doing at home & why.
i was sitting home, by myself, typing away on this stupid
computer doing nothing really important but making the time pass by, and socializing online with ppl from other states & countries, most likely never to meet them in person.
I wasnt o.k with this.
if i cant hang out comfortably with ppl around here locally,
then how could i hang out with ppl i meet eventually online?
soo..i asked myself "do you have anything else better to do on a (ie:)saterday night?"
the answer was "no..i'd be doing the same stupid thing i do when i want to pass the time away"
when you realize this, you will also realize that you
arent giving ppl enough credit or empathy by generalizing
& stereotyping.
There Are really really AWESOME ppl out there you have yet
to meet. i can assure you this.
I was soo selfish with my time that i failed to see what i was doing & i eventually felt really stale.

fast forward a bit.
i now try to get out as much as possible,
just to meet new people from all over the country,
and see things ive never seen before.
i even use this site as the perfect media for traveling
& meeting awesome ppl, i just went to the Az gathering and
had the time of my life!
im attending the OH gathering in 3 weeks & hosting a Cali gathering 6 days later at my house.


just last week, i met the most amazing gurl :heartpump:
and we're going to hang out sometime next week.

download this song:
http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/D...82568B9000D13ED

Quote:

I often think about the world
In which I live today, of animals and plants
And nature's gift set on display
But the most amazing thing
That I've seen in my time
Are all the different people
And all their different minds
And different ways
It would take a lifetime to explain
Not one's exactly the same





edit:
restore your faith in ppl,
just like yourself, ppl actually do have lives
outside the party/rave/etc scene, and only use those
type of events to meet, let lose from the daily stresses of life, jsut to have a great time & make many new great memories.
good luck & happy journeys. :sun:


Edited by fortyounces2freedom (05/26/04 08:04 PM)


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OfflinePuZuZu
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Re: Am I Antisocial, Parties Depress Me [Re: gotmagog]
    #2748656 - 05/31/04 02:32 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I'm like the exact oppisite of what you are. Or least from this post description. like, i enjoy every moment i get with people. that is one of my great loves, people and their company. i don't go to parties to get 'fucked', which can mean a lot of things. i go to be with a shared energy, experience, fun, and just plain old grouping.

yeah sure theres the rowdy ones that can be selfish or full of spirit and really stick out in a group, even intimidating some of those around them. I happen to be pretty crazy myself, I'm not stupid and risky but I'm very expressive. especially during concerts. i'm one of the harder rockers because the group of people plus the music brings out an inner energy in me that pours out. its so awesome dude. i just let myself be free and get high off the music.

you just need to let go and quit dwelling over your boundaries that you have set up. people aren't meant to be that way. DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS!!!! be proud of who you are because you are this person in a planet of a billion people and need to make a difference, get the most out of life. but don't go to a place thats going to be completely uncomfortable. but try new things, be interested, seriously, some shits weird but its pretty trippy to ride through.

yeah, you could really put stuff in a basic list, parties are for bored losers who just want to trash someones house, they need the aid of inanimate substances to aid them in enjoyment. some people are even there just to look cool. and if you do it enough its a damn chore. i hate thinking like that, its too fucking straight. change this. parties will be parties but don't take it for granted. you are with other people, other souls that just wanna feel life with other people.

i don't care if you were the nerdiest person on the planet or were foreign, you have your own thing going on and nobody else can take it. use it to your advantage and see what can happen, shitty experiences can be good if the mind shakes itself up a bit and really gets to different groove.

if this sounds freaky. i'm sorry. i think on a different drum beat then. but still, we all share something in this world and getting together only gets us closer to a better level of life. i hope better get-togethers come your way. thx for reading this.


--------------------
"If you worried about falling off the bike, you would never get on."
Lance Armstrong



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InvisibleTODAY
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Re: Am I Antisocial, Parties Depress Me [Re: gotmagog]
    #2751588 - 06/01/04 12:59 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

i was at a party last night. it was at a friend's house and i was there with my best friends in the world but unless i'm sitting with them just chatting i'm not having much fun. i just don't know what to say to a bunch of strangers with tons of people around so i keep to familiar people.

the best point of the night for me was when i left the house and walked into the park behind it with my friends. we saw a small group of people sitting in the grass and we started to chat. it is way easier to talk to smaller, more intimate groups where nobody is around to judge you or add to the background noise that drowns out your voice.

oh yeah...dancing isn't my thing at all. i'm such an awkward, self conscious goof on the dance floor.

i prefer to hang with a bunch of friends and maybe another group of friends that joins ours...but not at a cigarette smoke filled party where the music is too loud and i can't move without squeezing by people.


--------------------

ca'rouse (k-rouz)
intr.v.
To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.


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Offlinefilthysock
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Re: Am I Antisocial, Parties Depress Me [Re: gotmagog]
    #2752054 - 06/01/04 04:21 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

gotmagog said:
I even think sometimes that all of the party life and smalltalk at them is a social game, and I am the stupid one who does not know what to do and how to play his role. I think sometimes that others also have the same sad feelings like me, but pretend well that everything is perfect, but I guess I am just deluding myself here. I am not a good actor and I just can't force mayself to pretend to be happy at a party.




I think the same way. I can not small talk, getting me to small talk is like getting a cross eyed dyslecsic (sp?) to read. I will just say something small, get a response, say yeah, nod my head, think for a long time and say something else...

I've found out I have two, very differant ways to socialize, one is to get very deep and talk about interesting abstract things, or another way (which is very differant) is to use my body, I can dance and go nuts and do practical jokes or whatever you call them. But I can never "tell" a good joke, small talk, or do what seems like the most normal way to socialize in this "game" which I also see it as.

I just go with that, because thats all I have, this is the way i am basically, which you need to do is to not give a shit about parties and social events which you dont like and stick to things you like. I do think a mushroom trip will reveal alot of things to you and teach you a bunch on this topic, but a solo one, or one with a friend or two which you can connect well with on any level.

You know, alot of people are very a4 and will be the way which is the way to be and it really varies from place to place. I've moved alot and noticed that in some places "the game" is to be deep, some places the way to be is differant...

I find drunken parties easy, when I'm drunk being social and stupid is easy, parties are with alcohol simply because it allows you to be more social and loosened up. Maybe you should try drinking enough at some party sometime, maybe you'll like it.


--------------------
Magic mushrooms are not addictive, the shroomery is!


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Re: Am I Antisocial, Parties Depress Me [Re: gotmagog]
    #2755059 - 06/02/04 12:35 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I am just like you man and I hate it. I need just as much help as you do.


--------------------

The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity. ~ Albert Einstein
"Fear is the great barrier to human growth." ~ Dr. Robert Monroe



~~~*Dosis sola facit venenum*~~~

*Check my profile to listen to my music* :smile:


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Offlinedaba
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Re: Am I Antisocial, Parties Depress Me [Re: gotmagog]
    #2755172 - 06/02/04 01:02 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

If you are alone and you are happy, then everything is OK.

If you are alone and you are unhappy, then everything is not OK.

Let me give you a flip side of things from my perspective. I used to sit at home and feel really bad because all my friends were partying and having a good time, while I was sitting at home doing nothing. I always felt like I was missing out. So I made a conscious effort to go out and party, and you know, like 40 said, I had a good time! Then, everything got old and I got sick of all the fake acts. Now here I am again. But that does not mean that I have given up on my fellow humans. I am quite content banging away at my computer, but I know there is happiness out there, which I will seek when the time is ready. For you, it seems, now is that time. Don't get me wrong, I'm far from a bitter, pissed off person.

In your situation, give 40oz's method a try. He's more hedonistic than I am. :smile:


Edit: Keep in mind there is NOTHING wrong with you. Society paired "antisocial" with "bad," therefore, as a member of society, you feel bad about yourself and think that your lifestyle is incorrect. This is FAR from the truth. You do what you believe is right, just make sure the feeling is genuine. Don't let others speak for you, and make you feel bad about yourself.

Edit again: Also, question yourself. Am I feeling bad because I really want to change my habits? Or is my environment making me feel bad? Maybe you need a change of place, where having fun at parties doesn't necessary equate to "happiness," and sitting and drinking by yourself means "unhappiness." Parties are only fun because people say they are. If they are not fun for you, then why bother?


Edit thrice:

Quote:

Locus said:
I am just like you man and I hate it. I need just as much help as you do.




Why? What's wrong?
Because you're quiet? Because you can't talk to people? What is wrong with that?

Are you unhappy because of these traits of yours... or are you unhappy that society says that these traits are undesirable and must be fixed? What do you place emphasis on: yourself or society?


--------------------
Fold for The Shroomery!


Edited by daba (06/02/04 01:16 AM)


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OfflineRedo
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Re: Am I Antisocial, Parties Depress Me [Re: daba]
    #2755729 - 06/02/04 04:03 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

But if your so antisocial that you fear going out and are only happy when you are in is not ok.

We evolved our social behavior because it is what made us successfull, it is a good thing, we should all have the drive in us but those who dont arent acceptable or as functional as they could be.


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Offlinewrong
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Re: Am I Antisocial, Parties Depress Me [Re: Redo]
    #2755762 - 06/02/04 04:28 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

explain why it is preferable to be social if we can be happy without being social. explain how those who arent social are faulty machines. explain this whole functional thing, do you mean your more likely to have children if you are social?


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OfflineRedo
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Re: Am I Antisocial, Parties Depress Me [Re: wrong]
    #2759263 - 06/03/04 02:04 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

We evolved based on human interaction being a normal part of our lives, like pack animals (eg dogs). If before all these technologies we were severly antisocial, our regular function in society would be minimal when it was very necessary. Today its much easier to live being antisocial, but we were designed to do otherwise.

Also yes, one is less likely to have children the more antisocial one is, but it does not stop the quick 1 week relationships and pregnancies, which raise more screwed up children usually.


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OfflinePuZuZu
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Re: Am I Antisocial, Parties Depress Me [Re: gotmagog]
    #2760272 - 06/03/04 12:07 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

why is antisocial worse then social? i'll tell you why.

theres NO support from others when you aren't social because noone knows you so you have to suffer alone. also the whole thing that being alone all the time can cause your brain to think shit that is bad and it believes then you are more vulnerable to depression and unstability.

when theres people around you have more energy, people to share your feelings and ideas with, you feel stronger and healthier mentally, life is more interesting because people add flavor. when lifes a bummer friends make it better, they can help you with your problems.

i dont think ive ever gone to the movies alone, a party alone (concerts yes to meet up with people), ate out alone blah blah. why? because its odd, there isn't anybody there to talk to and share in the experience. somethings missing when you are antisocial.

i don't care what society thinks but usually what is considered 'good' is 'better'. not necessarily the 'cool' thing but the 'healthier' thing.

but don't get me wrong, spend some time alone to get to know yourself and your surroundings. to witness a strong connection with nonhuman environment. to get shit done as people to me are distracting when doing stuyding and stuff. so, balance it out.... and add personal preference. extremities suck.


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"If you worried about falling off the bike, you would never get on."
Lance Armstrong



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OfflineRedo
CTA

Registered: 04/13/04
Posts: 1,296
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
Re: Am I Antisocial, Parties Depress Me [Re: PuZuZu]
    #2760570 - 06/03/04 01:39 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

You cant just balance this out, its lacking the drive to go out and when your around others it causes stress that would not happen normally.


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Invisiblescott2004bc
Munchie Time!!
Registered: 02/16/04
Posts: 461
Loc: Utah
Re: Am I Antisocial, Parties Depress Me [Re: gotmagog]
    #2762051 - 06/04/04 02:02 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Hey it is okay, I uesd to be so shy, I think it is hanging out with "LOONEY" friends what did it to me, I used to be so quiet, now I just be myself and let it all out...I just give a f#@k now but I am in my thirties now thta was old school problem for me, now it is trying to get enough time and money to go to the clubs and parties, too much school and work...


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Enjoy life as much as you can, make the most of it, learn and grow from it, try enjoying different states of mind and learn from those experiences


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