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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: mushboy] * 13
    #29644706 -

Sorry if it’s not with what everyone is discussing currently, but I wanted to share my weekend. I got engaged a week and a half ago and yesterday was my last day of my masters degree program and I have been burnt out for the whole summer.

This weekend we had 2 concerts back to back. The first concert I went with my parents (step dad got me into reggae when he married my mom). The headliner was a band from Hawaii called Pepper that me and my fiancé bonded over when we met on Tinder (was supposed to be one night thing). The band before pepper is a band I went to see with my mom when I first stopped using heroin. She went with me because I had no clean friends at the time and was trying so hard to keep myself occupied so I wouldn’t go use and end up back in jail (was on paper 18-26 yrs old).

The concert on the next day was 311 which I have seen constantly (missed 5-6 years being incarcerated or strung out) since I was 12. My mom and dad (dad who had passed not the one married to my mom now) sat outside the venue when I was 12 so me and my friends could go to 311 for my first big concert. I cried too many times while tripping at 311 because of the memories associated with all the music this weekend.

It sounds stupid writing this, but I feel like my life has come full circle and I really wish my dad was here to be a part of it and see what I have become. I was super deep in addiction when he died. He died in prison 30 days before he was getting released (white collar crime and addiction after a surgery). Idk, life is a trip and I had written myself off as someone that would either OD or spend life in prison and lived life like that was my only options. Even though I’m currently broke AF , with 2 broken down cars, live in a basement we rent, and I’m insanely stressed about my business that is still developing, I really needed this weekend. I needed an introspective trip at a nostalgic concert. I hate to hear my family tell me that are proud, but it’s also something I never had, and somehow I love it and hate it at the same time.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest to complete strangers.

How was everyone else’s concerts/weekend? (Genesis?) Besides reggae I really like some Bass EDM artists and we are going to lost lands again this year. Idk if anyone knows what that it, but I’m so so excited!!!


--------------------
*Not a therapist - Do not take advice from me

Be nice. You are loved. You deserve happiness. You are not alone.

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: JoeTherapist] * 5
    #29644714 -

Ugh, I love you fuckers. Truly. Just got out of the NOTM thread, and now here... we're all going through hard stuff, and beautiful stuff, and fuckin A, more than anything I'm grateful.

Grateful that this gets to be a place where we can all take the mask off for a second and talk about the things that are difficult, and the things that make us proud, the things that are hard to talk about. And that it works. We make space. We share the pain, share the load, lend an ear.

I hardly know you Joe but I'm cryin like a baby for you, fr. I'm glad you get to find pride and level out a bit, even if with bittersweet edges.

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: LadysKnight] * 1
    #29644719 -

I change the tagline from "Sensitive Criminal" for NOT TWELVE FUCKING HOURS and the universe smacks me like a jukebox to put the song back on

Lithop said:
@Rasmo is this a burning man piece?


:ohyeah:


LadysKnight said:

If you strap one of these to the back, pointing backwards, it can simulate rocket propulsion.


This is legit brilliant. Gave me an idea. Still need to do a buildout for the homie I'm goin with, who asked for a propane element for camp. He'll never expect the brushclearing blowtorch strapped to the ass of his bike instead....

:hellfire:

Lithop said:
^ now thats some biker mice from mars shit

:rockon:

[/url]


First I'm hearing of this but it looks sick as hell. I always fucked with street sharks and double dragon, seems right in that lane.

Edited by Rasmodius (08/14/26 05:17 AM)

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Churpee Choozle] * 1
    #29644725 -

Churpee Choozle said:
Back once again


vegeta2 said:
just a rumor churp started



That guy gossips like a little fairy with a serious meth addiction, I wouldn't trust him.

I heard he blows like six fairies with serious debt issues though. Like a roomba on speed


Here in the states we have these gas stations called QT. They employ these little AI fucking cleaning robots that will straight up get in your way and have the audacity to yell at you that “I’m cleaning the floor” like your the problem even though it just tried to take you out.

I just imagined that on speed and now I don’t wanna leave my house


--------------------
JOIN CAKE WARS III STARTS SEPT 1

Favorite Teks

  ]

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Splittinghairs] * 1
    #29644736 -

Splittinghairs said:
Here in the states we have these gas stations called QT. They employ these little AI fucking cleaning robots that will straight up get in your way and have the audacity to yell at you that “I’m cleaning the floor” like your the problem even though it just tried to take you out.

I just imagined that on speed and now I don’t wanna leave my house


My anxiety :trollcop:


--------------------
*Not a therapist - Do not take advice from me

Be nice. You are loved. You deserve happiness. You are not alone.

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Splittinghairs]
    #29644740 -

Splittinghairs said:
Here in the states we have these gas stations called QT.


Whoa I just learned there's such a thing as QuickTrip.

I only knew about KwikTrip. KT does not have a pushy AI robot. They have a chicken sandwich that rivals chickfila and a little kioisk with self-serve jalepenos, raw onion, and hot sauce, so you can deck it out like chickfila never could. And on a sunday.

Only place with robots here is the airport. It has automatic wheelchairs that roam where they need to and ding as they creep up behind you. They're hilariously submissive so sometimes they get stuck and just roll in a circle, beeping, forever, while everyone awkwardly mills around them, unsure how to help.


--------------------
.~`  𝔅 𝔞 𝔤 𝔢 𝔩  🥯  𝔅 𝔦 𝔱 𝔢 𝔰  `~.
:salute: CAKE WARS III STARTS SEPTEMBER 1st :salute:

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: JoeTherapist] * 5
    #29644754 -

That's right, good man. Life is a trip with a capital T. Thank you for sharing a fraction of yourself.

I wasn't at any concert this weekend, but I can share something of my own. And when you say you feel like life is coming full circle — it probably is, and you're healing/releasing something you'd been carrying for a long time. I felt that too...

My mother took her own life when I was 16. A mind that young builds parallel realities to protect itself from suffering — even without realizing it. It was at 28, in a crushing ayahuasca ceremony, that I relived all of these events from the perspective of an adult man. It was brutally hard — it meant seeing and owning my share of it. And it was also there that I realized that as a result of it all I had broken every toxic family pattern and dynamic — as the only one in the family to do so. It felt like closing a circle. It was deeply healing.

Some time later, during one of my retreats in the middle of nowhere, at the home of an important friend — walking through the countryside I understood that I had spent my whole life judging my Father through the eyes of a hurt 6-year-old boy. He's an alcoholic, he used to abuse my mother until they separated... I turned on my phone, called him and told him — that I had spent my whole life blaming him for this and that. That apart from being my Father, he's simply another human being. That I had never seen him that way, that the fault belonged to both of them and to neither. That I'm no one to have opinions on something I didn't understand.

Another circle closed. I lifted the guilt he was carrying, I felt him become lighter. Since then everything has been different. There are other problems and life is still hard in stretches, but it's easier to walk through mud when you're lighter.

And mate, I don't know if you feel it — but I feel protected by my mother. As if she watches over me to make sure I don't stray from my path. We must live our lives as well as possible, if only out of respect for those we've lost.

In the end we're like those Japanese Kintsugi ceramics — broken, but unified with gold.

Thousands of hugs :heart:


--------------------
"Little shark in da bathtub"

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: mushboy] * 1
    #29644776 -

mushboy said:
i got a ton of scotch bonnets and i want to ferment them.


i know you heathens love that spice :awesome: what are some good recipes?? :takingnotes:

im thinking about doing a simple 3% salt brine but do i puree the veggies? keep em whole?

:pondering:


Just diced. The 3% brine is just right.  You got this


--------------------
Need a lift?

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Belintaf] * 3
    #29644784 -

God damn.  @joe.  That was quite a post bud.  Im so happy to hear that you got some space to think in.  Holler at me if i can do anything for you man.


--------------------
Need a lift?

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: BeefExtreme]
    #29644795 -

Churpee Choozle said:
vegeta2 said:
just a rumor churp started



That guy gossips like a little fairy with a serious meth addiction, I wouldn't trust him.


Churpee Choozle said:
I was tripping and found these stinkhorns. They looked really fake. Then it occured to me you were a puppet from a member I liked


Another old catnip accusation from Mr. rumor starter over here. Don't trust me though :awedance:

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: vegeta2] * 1
    #29644806 -

Yo Joe. 

That post was beautiful man. I'm very happy you shared. You and I have a whole lot in common.

No surprise at all though.  that happens a lot around here.

You've definitely found your people and place.

Anyways...

I'm hippie.  Nice to meet you. 

I definitely look forward to getting to know you. And want you to know you can always reach out if you ever need anything at all..


Same goes for all the others who's have so graciously found thier way to us recently.


--------------------
:hippie::mushroom2:Take it easy. if it's easy. take it twice:mushroom2::mushroom2:
:sporedrop:The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Shroomery:sporedrop:

**A LINK TO EVERTHING**


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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: callmehippie]
    #29644837 -

That's a good idea 😍 might go to lost lands.

Edited to change ll to lost lands because I probably responded to a month old post I've been missing. Alot it seems sorry.


--------------------





An enigma some caerulescens n a mono 😎

Edited by bloodssonnew (08/10/26 07:53 PM)

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: bloodssonnew] * 2
    #29644860 -

Srry bout your mom Belintaf. Thats gotta be rough at such a young age. 

Thanks for sharing as well.

The struggles we go thru in life  make us stronger and more resilient.. 

Thanks for sharing.:hatsoff:


--------------------
:hippie::mushroom2:Take it easy. if it's easy. take it twice:mushroom2::mushroom2:
:sporedrop:The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Shroomery:sporedrop:

**A LINK TO EVERTHING**


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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: callmehippie] * 2
    #29644973 -

Thanks everyone.

Thanks for sharing that belintaf. I am glad you were able to to find ways to heal that worked. It’s a trip when you work through something you didn’t know needed to be worked through.

Thanks for the support Beef.

Bloods if you like bass music you should absolutely go. I was not that into the music, but my best friend is a DJ/producer/visual artist and went with him. Hands down the coolest/best/most insane production I have ever seen at a festival. And its ran so so well for the amount of people that go. And they actually take feedback each year and improve the festival. Best value hands down in my opinion.

Mushboy - I’m not responding out of pure jealousy those look amazing. I thought I was moving and did not put in any peppers this year so I’m going to live vicariously through everyone elses pepper harvests. Thank you!

Hello hippie!-  I’m sure there are a lot of people with similar stories on here. I’m glad you can relate. This has been a good thread, figured it was a safe place to word vomit.

Hope you all had a decent Monday.


--------------------
*Not a therapist - Do not take advice from me

Be nice. You are loved. You deserve happiness. You are not alone.

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: JoeTherapist] * 3
    #29644992 -

Everyone.


Looks like blood needs us big time right now. 

A virtual hug from everyone here that cares might help. 

Prolly not.  Bit still.  I thinks hes worth it. 


Blood you sound alot like my very best in in the whole world. 

He killed himself in 2015

I miss him so much. 

I tried hard to help him be happy.  Took mew a few years to realize it was an impossible task.
The more i tried the worst it got.

The last 5 yrsrs was hard hell.  Ive found him almost dead with slit wrist in a bath tub twice. As well as walked in on im trying to hang himself.

He wasn't happy and wanted to end it.  But I know he was scared because up until the last time.  he always called me. To warm me.  And I guess give  me a chance to intervene.

He finally did it tho. 

I found him dead in his room with a grocery bag taped over his head and a bottle of nitrous in his lap. 


Fuck. 

Some people are so far far gone they cant be helped.  But even still after my personal experience.  Thats still not a reason for us to stop trying. 

Death has always been invetible. No what im saying?

Blood just know.  Even when your at your worst. We are at our best together. And as long as your here. we have your back.

And we enjoy your company. 

Your post really scared me. I really feel your pain.  My ptsd starting fucking with me the moment I started reading it.

So I had to reach out and say somthin. 

Your words are not takin lightly. 

Anways.  I hope to see you back here for another round my friend.  And I hope we get as much time as as possible to continue to get know you.

You may not feel like you matter anywhere else in the world. But you matter here in all of our hearts all over the world.



Thats all my man. 

Oh wait........heres that hug. 

:hug:


--------------------
:hippie::mushroom2:Take it easy. if it's easy. take it twice:mushroom2::mushroom2:
:sporedrop:The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Shroomery:sporedrop:

**A LINK TO EVERTHING**


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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: callmehippie] * 5
    #29644996 -

@justaspore. Was another sheroomerite that was going thru a really tough time a the begginging of the year.

She had very similar post to yours and seemed to be feeling exactly the same.

From the sounds of it. I though She was a gonner for sure. 

Luckily at least the friends she had found here were enough to  help her put that shit on the back burner.  (The thought of ending it.  Not the emotions)

And thankfully shes still here with us.

At least last I checked. 

I prolly should check in again tho just to make sure.  She hasn't been around for a while. But like I said was/has been going thru it for a while. 

Anyways my point. Is you guys are all technically strangers.  And I still fill the need to look out for yall like i did withmy best friend of 25 years who took his own life.  He was The ying to my yang.

Just remember there are people you dont even know that do care care enough amd know you guys absolutey matter.


Heres hugs for justaspore:hug:

A hug for my man gil:hug:


Fiddy?  Of course :hug:

Beef:hug::hug: yes, he gets two.  Dont be jealous.

Traven:hug:

Kloakk dosnt belive in hugs but. He likes mine so :hug:

Agar wedge :hug:

Ladysknight:hug:

Dala:hug::hug: someone's special;)

Bird:hug:

Tryp:hug:

Az:hug:

Ras:hug:

Joe:hug:

I can't list everyone. That'll take forever.

WHO ELSE WANTS A HUG FROM THE HIPPIE
:hug::hug::hug:

RUNNING A SPECIAL
TODAY.. HUGS FOR EVERYONE!  ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS ASK. 
:hug::hug::hug:


Who wants else wants one? :hug:


--------------------
:hippie::mushroom2:Take it easy. if it's easy. take it twice:mushroom2::mushroom2:
:sporedrop:The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Shroomery:sporedrop:

**A LINK TO EVERTHING**


Edited by callmehippie (08/11/26 06:59 AM)

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: callmehippie] * 4
    #29644997 -

:hug:


--------------------





An enigma some caerulescens n a mono 😎

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: bloodssonnew]
    #29645000 -

@Rasmo

man Street Sharks was class, as was double dragon. My bro was blue- I was red and we had a little corresponding coloured plastic chair we'd sit on to play double dragon. So fucking cool, that era of cartoons is my jam.

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Lithop]
    #29645028 -

Battle toads and double double  together in one game on Sega was my jam.


--------------------
:hippie::mushroom2:Take it easy. if it's easy. take it twice:mushroom2::mushroom2:
:sporedrop:The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Shroomery:sporedrop:

**A LINK TO EVERTHING**


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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: JoeTherapist] * 1
    #29645036 -

Hey Joe, total stranger, glad you let that out and glad you're on this path. Life is weird and short. You're not alone!

Same goes for you Hippie. It's fucked up that friends step out of this existence and we have to miss them and respect their decisions at the same time.
I miss my friends too. You and I (and probably the majority of the rest) have kids to take care of and we're going to live long lives being available for them. The night before we left on this latest vacation I was babysitting my nephew and felt really satisfied with the fact my kids have a dad. Weird shit.

OK I'm off to the beach



--------------------
Species grown 2025-26
https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/29367720#29367720

Collection of trip reports
https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/29242884#29242884

Edited by Churpee Choozle (08/11/26 06:07 AM)

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