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OfflineEkstaza
stranger thanmost
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Registered: 04/11/03
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Who knows what I should do?????(A Love Story)
    #2918572 - 07/23/04 01:04 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

I am completely consumed by a girl that I have known for a lifetime and I just can't let her know. I'm not sure it's the right time.

The Story:

The first time that I set eyes on this girl, I thought that she was the most beautiful vision that I have ever seen. That was around 16 years and another lifetime ago. We dated for a while in our teens and I always thought she would most likely be the girl that I would spend the rest of my life with. She was and is my angel, my sweetheart.

We just drifted apart when I went in the military, but I sometimes still had thoughts that I would return home and she would be there waiting for me. That all was shattered when I learned of her marriage and two children.

We remained friends after I returned home and we continue to talk, ever more so now that she is separated from her jerk abusive husband and is very soon to be divorced. We talk almost daily and, on the phone, we some times get real saucy, so to speak. She's said things that tells me that she still has feelings for me, but she'll back off and become real cold in public. When were out on a date she acts as if we are brother and sister or something.

In the past she has mentioned that she wants to enjoy being single and she has also mentioned that she can't openly be with anyone until her divorce is final. I respect both of those positions but I also really want to make her understand that I want to be more than just a friend. I still remember how she feels in my arms and it drives me crazy to not be able to hold her again. Even her mother told her just the other day "You've been talking to ______ for ten years, see him".

I just don't want to move too fast for her and blow it or make my move too late and lose her.

I was just with her an hour ago and I all I told her was that I love the way she is loud in a movie.


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YOUR EXPERIENCE WITH ANY GIVEN DRUG ISN'T THE DEFINITIVE MEASURE OF THE DRUGS EFFECTS.


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Offlineplexus
holding thelight of athousand candles

Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 1,290
Loc: texas
Last seen: 6 years, 1 month
Re: Who knows what I should do?????(A Love Story) [Re: Ekstaza]
    #2919434 - 07/23/04 05:58 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

i think you should tell her but not ask her out... just let her know what youre feeling.

get her alone, where you can sit and talk for a while with no interruptions.
ask her to let you talk and to listen until you finish.
then just break it down to her exactly how you feel.
make sure she knows youre being 100% serious
be 100% serious.
tell her what she means to you and why she means that to you.
be poetic.
tell her that you want to go out with her.
tell her that you dont want to go out with her until her divorce is over with AND until she's damn well ready to be with someone.
just let her know that youre there.
and finally, dont shoot her in the face with a glock.

p.s. its all about communication


--------------------
that there, thats not me. :noway:
i go where i please. :yesnod:
im not here.:shake:
this isnt happening.:nonono:


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OfflineEkstaza
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Re: Who knows what I should do?????(A Love Story) [Re: plexus]
    #2920869 - 07/23/04 04:44 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

That sounds so simple but I just can't seem to get her alone in a situation that allows for me to talk to her like I would want to. We always seem to be amoungst a croud or on the phone.

Well tonight I'm going to do some soul searching during a trip and make sure that I have my feelings straight. I'll probably talk to her on the phone later but I know that I will just keep to the usual business of conversation. She has to know that I have feelings for her. I have done everything but be a drooling wuss in front of her. I refuse to lose my dignity for anyone. I somehow believe that she is trying to get me to make the first move. I know it, but I still hold back. There is just too much bagage and drama right now.

I guess it's just my time to get all fucked up over her because she already told me that she has been over me. A girlfriend of mine told her about our sex life and she said that she was destroyed. She said that it was shortly after that that she met and became pregnant by her husband. How did we let shit get away from what we really wanted so easily?


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YOUR EXPERIENCE WITH ANY GIVEN DRUG ISN'T THE DEFINITIVE MEASURE OF THE DRUGS EFFECTS.


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OfflineUncleMike
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Registered: 05/18/03
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Re: Who knows what I should do?????(A Love Story) [Re: Ekstaza]
    #2921550 - 07/23/04 07:48 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Make sure you give her the space she needs. Her self-esteem has probably been damaged by the jerk she was married to. She need to know you are there for her but she probably wants to make sure she can stand on her own. Go slowly she will make the move when she is ready.


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OfflineSlapnutRob
Toolhead

Registered: 03/31/03
Posts: 520
Loc: Michigan
Last seen: 7 years, 4 months
Re: Who knows what I should do?????(A Love Story) [Re: Ekstaza]
    #2924227 - 07/24/04 08:07 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Just stay around and be flirtatious. Let her know through your actions that you're interested.


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Anything stated above is fictional roleplay dialog by the character that is Slapnut Rob, in no way representing the actions or beliefs of the man behind the keys.


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OfflineEkstaza
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Re: Who knows what I should do?????(A Love Story) [Re: UncleMike]
    #2924248 - 07/24/04 08:16 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Well I just added another dimension to the equation.

She called me to come hang out with her and I was tripping with some friends. I had a friend drive me to her but of course I didn't act normal because of the 7 grams of shrooms I had eaten. When she got ready to leave she started asking me what was wrong. She wanted to know why I was staring off into space and not saying a word. I eventually told her that I was tripping on mushrooms. She looked at me very strangely, gave me a hug and walked away. She did tell me to call her today, though. I've tried to call her but I can't get through.

We've talked about drugs and stuff before and mainly how she doesn't do them. Well, not pot any ways. She has mentioned a taste for opiates and other pain killers so she shouldn't have room to lecture me about shrooms. The subject of psychedelics just never came up. I just hope that she doesn't freak out about this and never want to see me again.

What's so ironic is that I had taken such a large dose and had planned to focus the trip on my feelings for her in order to make sure that I knew what I wanted to do. My intentions were to sort out my feelings so that I could better express myself to her. I guess now I have made things a little more complicated.


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YOUR EXPERIENCE WITH ANY GIVEN DRUG ISN'T THE DEFINITIVE MEASURE OF THE DRUGS EFFECTS.


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OfflineCaRnAgECaNdYS
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Registered: 04/09/04
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Re: Who knows what I should do?????(A Love Story) [Re: SlapnutRob]
    #2924302 - 07/24/04 08:42 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

SlapnutRob said:
Just stay around and be flirtatious.  Let her know through your actions that you're interested.




I think that's a good idea. You don't want to scare her off by confronting her with something she may not be ready for.
After being with her jerk husband, I can see the need for some time alone. You don't want to rush her. When she's ready, she'll come to you.
If that doesn't happen, then maybe you should move on. You don't want to wait forever for something that may not happen, right?
If she is interested and just scared then at least, as a friend, let her know that you'll always be there for her!
She'll appreciate that! :heart:


--------------------

The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.


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OfflineEkstaza
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Re: Who knows what I should do?????(A Love Story) [Re: CaRnAgECaNdY]
    #2926614 - 07/25/04 06:51 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Well, I've calleder and left a message that I want to talk about Friday night. So far she hasn't called back. I think that she could be real freaked out about finding out that I use psychedelics. She doesn't do anything close to what I'm into. She probably doesn't even know what shrooms do exactly.


I guess now I'll just give her some space and let her come around to calling me again.

But I don't know if I can handle that. I broke through to a place inside of me the other night and I know for sure that I want to be with her.


--------------------
YOUR EXPERIENCE WITH ANY GIVEN DRUG ISN'T THE DEFINITIVE MEASURE OF THE DRUGS EFFECTS.


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OfflineCaRnAgECaNdYS
Tool's groupie
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Re: Who knows what I should do?????(A Love Story) [Re: Ekstaza]
    #2926635 - 07/25/04 07:00 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Ekstaza said:
I guess now I'll just give her some space and let her come around to calling me again.




That's the best thing you can do right now IMO.
It's very hard I know, but if it's meant to be it'll happen!


--------------------

The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.


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Invisibleladychemist84
badnitrogirl
Female

Registered: 05/08/04
Posts: 97
Loc: IL
Re: Who knows what I should do?????(A Love Story) [Re: Ekstaza]
    #2927917 - 07/26/04 06:45 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Just let it go


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OfflineSlapnutRob
Toolhead

Registered: 03/31/03
Posts: 520
Loc: Michigan
Last seen: 7 years, 4 months
Re: Who knows what I should do?????(A Love Story) [Re: ladychemist84]
    #2928248 - 07/26/04 12:18 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Just don't confront her and pressure her into a relationship.

I think the best plan in a situation like this is to do your best to make sure the time she spends around you is enjoyable. Like I said, flirt and let her know you're interested.

If you do this and just stay cool, then she'll come around and get more and more flirtatious with you.

You don't chase chicks. You make them chase you.


--------------------
Anything stated above is fictional roleplay dialog by the character that is Slapnut Rob, in no way representing the actions or beliefs of the man behind the keys.


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OfflineEkstaza
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Re: Who knows what I should do?????(A Love Story) [Re: SlapnutRob]
    #2929713 - 07/26/04 08:31 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Well, she has said that she is very disappointed in my using pschedelics.
She doesn't understand it at all and she basically is mad as hell at me.

How do I make it good?


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YOUR EXPERIENCE WITH ANY GIVEN DRUG ISN'T THE DEFINITIVE MEASURE OF THE DRUGS EFFECTS.


Edited by Ekstaza (07/27/04 08:54 PM)


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InvisibleMOTH
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Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,364
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Re: Who knows what I should do?????(A Love Story) [Re: Ekstaza]
    #2930265 - 07/26/04 11:29 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Ekstaza said:
Wello she has said that she is very disappointed in my using pschedelics.
She doesn't understand it at all and she basically is mad as hell at me.

How do I make it good?




Agh, sorry about that man.  :frown:  Sounds like a rough situation to be in. 

Your best bet is to EDUCATE.  Show her Erowid and tell her that it means alot to you that she respect your right to alter your consciousness. 

In the end, it comes down to communication between the two of you.  Either you using psychedelics is going to be a deal-breaker for her, or her getting pissy everytime you take the sacred mushroom will be a deal breaker for you.  OR, she could do alot of reading and research and broaden her mind and not care either way. 

Just educate her gently, the best that you can. 

Good luck  :heart:

*me*


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OfflineEkstaza
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Re: Who knows what I should do?????(A Love Story) [Re: MOTH]
    #2933934 - 07/27/04 09:03 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

I've decided that her disaproval of my using psychedelics is her problem, not mine. It is her that is acting out of fear and ignorance. I'm basically going to tell her that I'm not sorry or ashamed for having used mushrooms and that if she will listen I would like to explain why.

Hell she has even told me about her having a taste for pain killers like oxycontin and hydrocodone. How can she even think that what I'm doing is worse than that.


--------------------
YOUR EXPERIENCE WITH ANY GIVEN DRUG ISN'T THE DEFINITIVE MEASURE OF THE DRUGS EFFECTS.


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OfflineUncleMike
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Registered: 05/18/03
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Last seen: 8 years, 20 days
Re: Who knows what I should do?????(A Love Story) [Re: Ekstaza]
    #2933979 - 07/27/04 09:17 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

At least you were honest with her. That's a good thing. If you do get to talk with her tell her that you should not have come to visit her in that condition. let her know you would give up doing anything for her.


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