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OfflineAlan Stone
Corpus

Registered: 11/23/02
Posts: 986
Loc: Ten feet up
Last seen: 11 years, 5 months
Old, sick and tired !
    #2435702 - 03/15/04 06:08 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

I need to get this huge load off my chest. Some background info: 21, slacker by nature, steppenwolf by nature.

I have been slacking on the academic department the last two years, mainly because I didn't feel comfortable in this body, I felt like I had no home, and because I - hate to sound like a presumptuous prick, though - had to many options when I graduated from high school.
This body still feels odd. At my age, I already have a few streaks of white hair (the rest is brownish black), which, ultimately, I think fits me somehow, but that shit can't be too normal. My lower back aches almost half of the time, I feel worn out from the bone outward.
My parents have been giving me a hard time, well, since the last two years in high school, and especially after two years wasted at university. I'm learning how to be a high school teacher now (Dutch, history and religion being my majors), and plan things my way, admittedly a little on the slow side, but getting there. I'm putting effort into changing my work attitude, in enjoying less relaxation before I start on my work.
Today, I found out a fellow student I had to work with to give a class on the first farmers in Europe (for tomorrow) is sick and won't be making it to class tomorrow. So basically, I have to take over his 25 minutes of teaching without access to what he had prepared. Right now I'm taking a short break to type this shit out, and I'll be getting back to it afterwards. Anyway, here's the point: my parents just came in while I was playing a web-based game for ten minutes, and shouted at me for 'not doing anything' and 'being a lazy bum', while I've been preparing for this class I have to teach for four straight hours, pausing only for an hourly cigarette.
They say I have to grow up and quit playing computer games - which is none of their business, really, as long as I do what I'm supposed to - and, bottom line: they just can't accept I choose another way of growing up, another end goal for my life. They're such fucking illogical bigots, and are incredibly programmed with bourgeous ideals like you can't imagine.
I'm sick and fucking tired of this shit, one of these days I'll pack my guitar, sell my stereo and cd's, buy a plane ticket to India, and I'll see where I end up from there.

Just coughing up spiritual phlegm, sorry about that.


--------------------
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.

- Aristotle


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Offlinepeleg
Gypsy
Registered: 10/03/03
Posts: 535
Loc: Christ Light
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
Re: Old, sick and tired ! [Re: Alan Stone]
    #2436597 - 03/15/04 09:52 PM (12 years, 8 months ago)

that India thing sounds great. man maybe ya just need a break from all the studies for a year or so or just maybe the summer.go on dead tour or something, thats always uplifting, or if thats not your bag backpack through europe or something.although we are suppose to honor our parents we are not living for them. you have to decide if this is what you wanna do and is it gonna make you happy, Light to ya  :heartpump: :heartpump:


--------------------
"Well the first days are the hardest days." When life looks like easy street there is danger at your door.....


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Anonymous #1

Re: Old, sick and tired ! [Re: peleg]
    #2437771 - 03/16/04 03:03 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

an admitted slacker needs a break? this place is bad for people... :lol:


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InvisibleLe_Canard
Danger Man

Registered: 05/17/03
Posts: 93,263
Loc: Earthfarm 1 Flag
Re: Old, sick and tired ! [Re: Alan Stone]
    #2438114 - 03/16/04 06:38 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Sounds like what's called 'occupational burn-out'. Maybe a break IS in order!

P.S.) At 21, you're hardly 'old'! :laugh:


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OfflineAlan Stone
Corpus

Registered: 11/23/02
Posts: 986
Loc: Ten feet up
Last seen: 11 years, 5 months
Re: Old, sick and tired ! [Re: Le_Canard]
    #2438119 - 03/16/04 06:46 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Unfortunately, at 21 I feel like my body's gonna last me another 10 years tops.

If I'd take a break, it wouldn't necessarily be from school or teaching, it would be from Western society. I've grown to dislike it quite a lot.


--------------------
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.

- Aristotle


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InvisibleSkorpivoMusterion
Livin in theTwilight Zone...
 User Gallery

Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 9,944
Loc: You can't spell fungus wi...
Re: Old, sick and tired ! [Re: Alan Stone]
    #2438171 - 03/16/04 07:44 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

In India, most likely your life would then become dedicated to survival, rather than,..'competition', which, in a sense is alot of what you deal with in the western society, in all it's shapes and forms.

Sounds like you just need to move out into your own pad and get the fuck away from your parents.



--------------------
Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.


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OfflineAtomisk
all forms areself awareness

Registered: 02/09/04
Posts: 164
Loc: jungle of love
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
Re: Old, sick and tired ! [Re: Alan Stone]
    #2438652 - 03/16/04 11:37 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

explain your feelings to your parents. they probably just want to see you accomplish some of your goals.

tell them how you are prepared for a change. get some good grades and accomplish some goals.

try your best at everything you put your hand to...for it may be the last thing you ever do in this life.

as to your general health, i would try a change in diet and exercise.
after one month i bet you will see such a change that you will be looking forward to your days.

also, drop two drips of liquid lsd into your eyeball...j/k


--------------------
o house-builder! thou art seen. thou shalt build no house again. all thy rafters are broken. thy ridge-pole is shattered.


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OfflineEMERLAD
Stranger
Registered: 02/18/04
Posts: 11
Last seen: 12 years, 8 months
Re: Old, sick and tired ! [Re: Atomisk]
    #2441396 - 03/17/04 12:13 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

Hey if you aren't enjoying what u r doing, why are you doing it? I know that sounds basic but life is to short to please society/parents. Just go with what you want to do. I used to be so unhappy when I lived with my mum and dad, I was so depressed. Then I moved out and have been travelling for the last year or so. I have a completely different take on life-that I can do anything I want. Really what is stopping you doing what you want other than yourself?


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OfflineAtomisk
all forms areself awareness

Registered: 02/09/04
Posts: 164
Loc: jungle of love
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
Re: Old, sick and tired ! [Re: EMERLAD]
    #2441432 - 03/17/04 12:28 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

responsibility and money


--------------------
o house-builder! thou art seen. thou shalt build no house again. all thy rafters are broken. thy ridge-pole is shattered.


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Offlineshaggy101
Male

Registered: 08/17/00
Posts: 1,816
Loc: ..still waiting for godot
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
Re: Old, sick and tired ! [Re: Alan Stone]
    #2441691 - 03/17/04 02:02 AM (12 years, 8 months ago)

http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat...sb=5&o=&fpart=1

mostly just for the physical aspects of it.. especially meditation
and diet..and WATER.. sometimes I think my life is a crusade to get people to drink more of it :nut:

I completely hear the physical thing man..ugh I am 21 aswell and feel 41.
back aches,headaches, and this fucking asthma
but alot of the things metioned in that post, I have found help a amazing amount!

If possible move out man.
anywhere, just dont let the stress break you.
Its amazing how clear your head feels when your happy with your living situation.

My advice..FINISH COLLEGE

you now what the first thing I thought when I started reading this was?
man I wish I was in college :smirk:
but you have to do what YOU feel is best

who nows maybe one day ill see ya in goa :sun:
peace and shroomyness


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