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LeViTY
I missed theark.

Registered: 10/10/02
Posts: 1,988
Loc: CA
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Tired of living...
#1714159 - 07/14/03 12:41 PM (20 years, 6 months ago) |
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My entire life is falling apart as I'm realizing that I've done everything wrong and I lost the only person I ever cared about.
I honestly can't see any reason not to jump out into the street and kill myself. My Dad wants to send me back to a full-time psychiatrist, so I can be monitored to ensure I won't hurt myself.
What is the point of living? How do you all do it? I see no reason to ever breathe again.
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trendal
J♠


Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 20,815
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Re: Tired of living... [Re: LeViTY]
#1714191 - 07/14/03 12:51 PM (20 years, 6 months ago) |
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Oh Jacki 
I know things may look bad right now, and that makes you feel bad, right? But TRUST ME when I say this...things get better!
What's the point of living? Well if you don't live...you'll never find out, that's the key 
I don't know what "the point" is, yet, but I'm willing to take the time to find out!
You may have "lost" someone, but it's not the end. We all lose people in life. It will happen to you again, like it happens to all of us again. But you have to remember that you WILL have that chance again, and that's why it's worth going on!
Because if you're not alive, you're chances are up. The longer you live, the more chances you get 
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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free. But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.
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Earth_Droid
Stranger
Registered: 04/19/02
Posts: 5,240
Last seen: 17 years, 6 months
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Re: Tired of living... [Re: trendal]
#1714198 - 07/14/03 12:52 PM (20 years, 6 months ago) |
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You should live to find out why to live. That is what keeps me going. And don't harm yourself, it will not help. I know this isn't much help, but things WILL get better.
Edited by Earth_Droid (07/14/03 12:53 PM)
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toned3f
Comfortably Numb
Registered: 05/27/03
Posts: 124
Loc: NY, Amerika
Last seen: 15 years, 9 months
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Just think about it this way:
If you're dead, you'll never have the chance to find out what you could be missing. Life will get better, but from death there's not much room for improvement.
Plus, OTD would be boring without you
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LeViTY
I missed theark.

Registered: 10/10/02
Posts: 1,988
Loc: CA
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Re: Tired of living... [Re: trendal]
#1714213 - 07/14/03 12:55 PM (20 years, 6 months ago) |
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Thanks for the responses.
It just seems as though life is so fucking ridiculous anyway, because there is no 'known' point of it all. By the time we finish living our lives to discover this point of living, we won't need to know it! Because we will be dead!
I don't see why I shouldn't just speed up the process.
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trendal
J♠


Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 20,815
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Re: Tired of living... [Re: LeViTY]
#1714224 - 07/14/03 12:56 PM (20 years, 6 months ago) |
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Because there are people who love you.
Do you want to hurt them?
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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free. But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.
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LeViTY
I missed theark.

Registered: 10/10/02
Posts: 1,988
Loc: CA
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Re: Tired of living... [Re: trendal]
#1714233 - 07/14/03 12:58 PM (20 years, 6 months ago) |
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I've already hurt the people that I love...
And I've hurt the one person who I loved the most. Knowing that I've hurt the people I love is reason enough for me to end it all! I have a feeling some people would be better off if I disappeared, even my parents.
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Earth_Droid
Stranger
Registered: 04/19/02
Posts: 5,240
Last seen: 17 years, 6 months
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Re: Tired of living... [Re: LeViTY]
#1714248 - 07/14/03 01:01 PM (20 years, 6 months ago) |
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You don't know if you will get reborn and have to face the same problems next life. So you might as well try and stop the karma within yourself during this life. You might as well just have faith and wish for the best. Besides you will have many happy experiences this life.
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trendal
J♠


Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 20,815
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Re: Tired of living... [Re: LeViTY]
#1714262 - 07/14/03 01:03 PM (20 years, 6 months ago) |
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Well I'll tell you now that YOU ARE WRONG!
Well all have a purpose in life, trust me  I know that I have one, and I know that you have one too. Most of the time we don't get to know our purpose until it's time, I think.
But it's always there, waiting for you. If you go out now...the effects down the road are unknowable.
If you've hurt the people you love, then FIX IT. Don't complain about things, it doesn't solve a thing. Just fix what's wrong.
This is the third time I've tried to tell you, Jacki, but YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR OWN LIFE 
YOU have the power to make things right...but if you're dead you can't fix a thing.
And no, death itself never fixes anything. Ever.
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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free. But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.
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LeViTY
I missed theark.

Registered: 10/10/02
Posts: 1,988
Loc: CA
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Re: Tired of living... [Re: trendal]
#1714279 - 07/14/03 01:06 PM (20 years, 6 months ago) |
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I know I'm USUALLY in control, but this time I'm not. The things that I did to hurt my loved ones are irreversable, and I know this. That's why I don't see a reason to live, because I can't fix anything!
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trendal
J♠


Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 20,815
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Re: Tired of living... [Re: LeViTY]
#1714325 - 07/14/03 01:15 PM (20 years, 6 months ago) |
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No, you're wrong again :-)
Everything that can be done, can be undone. If you have made a mistake, it's not the end of the world. WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES, silly 
I make mistakes. You make mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes.
But ending it is no way to fix anything.
Not only will you feel better, someday you'll find it silly that you were even upset right now
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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free. But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.
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Wysefool
I AM SKELETON JELLY

Registered: 12/26/02
Posts: 6,643
Last seen: 5 months, 25 days
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Re: Tired of living... [Re: trendal]
#1714434 - 07/14/03 01:35 PM (20 years, 6 months ago) |
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Find a bunch of hobbies - An idle mind is the devil's playground.
And if you don't mind me asking what have you done that you think is so irreversible?
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Xibalba
Stranger
Registered: 05/13/00
Posts: 2,114
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Re: Tired of living... [Re: LeViTY]
#1714622 - 07/14/03 02:27 PM (20 years, 6 months ago) |
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Edited by Xibalba (09/30/05 12:39 AM)
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gnrm23
Carpal Tunnel
Registered: 08/29/99
Posts: 6,488
Loc: n. e. OH, USSA
Last seen: 3 months, 23 days
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Re: Tired of living... [Re: Xibalba]
#1714663 - 07/14/03 02:37 PM (20 years, 6 months ago) |
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please hang in there... gott knows we have all screwed up at one time or another... but i rather suspect your parents would not feel better of with you checking out... and you do have friends in the world... and friends on the 'net... "this too shall pass" --- and the sun will shine a bit brighter, and you will find ones who will reurtn your smiles, and will return your hugs... give this old world another few spins around the axis, and maybe even a few more turns around the sun... yeah, maybe the best part of the game is going to the showers, but, friend, the game isn't over yet (and let's not call it on account of this bit of rain, ok?) ~ be well be very well be very well indeed... ~ (gnrmi gives levity a big hug & a small smack upside the head, & a hot cuppa cocoa with those li'l marshmallows...) ~ ~
-------------------- old enough to know better not old enough to care
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Xibalba
Stranger
Registered: 05/13/00
Posts: 2,114
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Re: Tired of living... [Re: LeViTY]
#1714671 - 07/14/03 02:39 PM (20 years, 6 months ago) |
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Edited by Xibalba (09/30/05 12:38 AM)
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Jackal
Well Versed In Etiquette


Registered: 10/16/02
Posts: 4,576
Last seen: 6 months, 4 days
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Re: Tired of living... [Re: LeViTY]
#1714688 - 07/14/03 02:43 PM (20 years, 6 months ago) |
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You're right, life does suck. It always has and it always will - if that's your perspective. Things have got to change, you have to ask yourself whats easier: Changing the whole world so its a better place, or changing your way of looking at it. You seem to be convinced that the hurt you have caused is irreversible, but they aren't! I assure you! I have done some pretty fucked up things in my life, hurt those around me really bad, attempted suicide - thought I was worthless and that no-one would miss me. However, I fought through that shit, and it was down to similar advice that is being given out here. People kept telling me that death isn't the answer and that things will get better. At the time, it took a while to sink in. But you want to know something? They Were Right! The shit passes, things do get better, life will become more fulfilling. A time will come when you're smoking a blunt with some friends, sitting in the Sun and you'll think to yourself. 'What the fuck was I thinking?' Keep telling yourself that it will pass. You're an intelligent, pretty, witty girl, with a lot more things going for you than you think. Take Care Jackal
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LeViTY
I missed theark.

Registered: 10/10/02
Posts: 1,988
Loc: CA
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Re: Tired of living... [Re: Jackal]
#1714824 - 07/14/03 03:28 PM (20 years, 6 months ago) |
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Xibalba: The reason I feel like everything is wrong is because the one thing that went wrong just happened to be my ENTIRE life. It doesn't matter that I am in high school, it doesn't make any of the hurt or importance of my pain go away.
I'm not pretty and I'm not witty, I'm just a bitch. I appreciate all of your comments and trying to help, but like... what's the point of living a life where nothing you do is ever right?
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trendal
J♠


Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 20,815
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Re: Tired of living... [Re: LeViTY]
#1714834 - 07/14/03 03:31 PM (20 years, 6 months ago) |
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What's the point of thinking that nothing you ever do will ever be right?
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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free. But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.
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LeViTY
I missed theark.

Registered: 10/10/02
Posts: 1,988
Loc: CA
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Re: Tired of living... [Re: trendal]
#1714859 - 07/14/03 03:37 PM (20 years, 6 months ago) |
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It's more of a certainty than a thought. I've been alive long enough to know that the only thing I can do right is make mistakes.
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Jackal
Well Versed In Etiquette


Registered: 10/16/02
Posts: 4,576
Last seen: 6 months, 4 days
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Re: Tired of living... [Re: LeViTY]
#1714876 - 07/14/03 03:43 PM (20 years, 6 months ago) |
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It seems as though all you can do is fuck things up. I went through something very similar to you a few years back.
Things won't change instantly, they take time. But the good thing is, is that it is inevitable.
I believe that good times are ahead for you, it may seem unlikely but it's all to do with balance.
And you are pretty, I said so long ago - especially with that moody look. 
Don't forget it!
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