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Offlinebarfightlard
tales of theinexpressible
Male

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/29/03
Posts: 8,670
Loc: Canoodia
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
Im fucking sick of it
    #2226668 - 01/07/04 07:38 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

I can't stand this place anyone. I just have to get away. Im in my last year of high school and I just don't care anymore. I don't want to fucking conform and get some stupid job and keep this sorry excuse for a society going along.

For the past half year I haven't hung out with anyone. I don't like being around most people. I don't have a social life, I feel retarded sometimes in conversations. I seem to think to much, but at the same time have a total mind block. (just noticed how many times I said I there). Anyways I feel no conneciton with anyone. Almost like I don't feely my emotion anymore, yet I still display it with facial expressions and tone of voice.

I don't know wtf im going to do. I want to just leave everythig behind and see what happens, I cant take this fucking place anymore! I don't care about money, possetions and all that crap. It doesn't make me happy, nor does anything else.

Id like to have a good relationship with somebody, but I don't know why I can't or really try too. The only thing I like is nature really; seeing a beautiful sunset makes me feel happy and warm inside. I don't know whats wrong with me or whats going on. I've talked to a psych and he said I was focusing on myself to much(I think I am too), and he tried to blame my depression and strange thoughts on drug abuse. I had one mush trip that really changed everything, so I think that has a part in it, but I barely use any drugs anymore.

For the past year alomst I'e been so confused. Im always paranoid and stuff. I just don't know what to do anymore.

this sucks


--------------------

"What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?" - Bill Hicks


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InvisibletrendalM
point of inflection
Male User Gallery

Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 19,436
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Re: Im fucking sick of it [Re: barfightlard]
    #2226707 - 01/07/04 07:57 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Do what I've done: forget society for now, and continue to focus on your own life. When you are done school, get a job. Doesn't have to be something with a high-pay, because you don't care about material possessions, right? Neither do I...and I'm perfectly happy working for $10/hour.

What it has given me time to do is take a serious look at my life and where I wish to place it in this world. It has given me time, once again, to continue my personal studeies (NEVER STOP LEARNING!) at my own pace and leisure.

Be yourself, you will find people like you. Think too much? You know I don't believe in such a thing! I've been told before that I think too much...that I should spend more time "just being happy". Um...right.

Maybe it's just me...but I'd rather live my life as my life than conform. I'd rather spend my spare time in deep thought than conform. I'd rather not become a part of what I've grown to loathe so much.

What I'm getting at here is...just keep going! Don't give up! You'll find your niche, and you'll love it till the day you die :smile:


--------------------
You're here because you know something.
What you know you can't explain,
But you feel it;
You've felt it your entire life.
That there's something wrong with the world.
You don't know what it is, but it's there....
Like a splinter in your mind...
Driving you mad.


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Offlineforevrgrounded98
Stranger

Registered: 10/25/03
Posts: 283
Last seen: 10 years, 25 days
Re: Im fucking sick of it [Re: trendal]
    #2226885 - 01/07/04 09:42 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Hey man, I feel you, I've been in college gathering up all I can for almost the last 6 years and i'm starting to get tired of it. I want to do something different, i've got all these things that dont mean shit to me. I dont feel like I do anything important or meaningfull on a daily basis. My whole attitude has changed over the last few years about who I hang out with and where I go or what I do and I have to say its gotten worse before I got any better. No fear though, things will always work themselves out. Hang in there and you'll find whats right for you.
-matt


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"If I don't see ya before the end of this one, I'll meet ya in the next one and don't be late" - Jimi Hendrix


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Offlinebarfightlard
tales of theinexpressible
Male

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/29/03
Posts: 8,670
Loc: Canoodia
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
Re: Im fucking sick of it [Re: trendal]
    #2234239 - 01/11/04 03:52 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Thanks for the replies guys. I think im going to try and finish high school. Thena take a break and just think more about life and what would make me happy, instead of focusing on it right now.

thanks alot!


--------------------

"What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?" - Bill Hicks


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OfflineNorthernsoul
Your Reality

Registered: 11/17/01
Posts: 2,290
Loc: Inner Eye
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
Re: Im fucking sick of it [Re: barfightlard]
    #2235097 - 01/11/04 06:39 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Yeah, its just normal to feel like that sometimes. Especialy at that age 16-19. Try not to do anything impulsive and just ride it out untill things are a little bit less emotional and then make a desision to do something. Going back to high school is the right choice!

Usually moving somewhere is only provides short term releif from everything because whatever problems that are happening usually never go away untill theyre dealt with, Ive moved so many times Ive l;ost count, same problems keep comming back.

Well, good luck though, youll do ok. :thumbup: :wink:


--------------------


--------------------------------------------------------------

When it comes
I'll know, I know
Just take my clothes and leave
And I'll be gone




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OfflineGeeno
member
Registered: 08/29/03
Posts: 203
Last seen: 7 years, 11 months
Re: Im fucking sick of it [Re: barfightlard]
    #2237037 - 01/12/04 02:33 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Bellylard, I feel for you. Reading your post helps me out because Ive never been able to know if there were people like me. I know exactly what you mean about the block, and thinking too much, feeling retarded in conversations.

At least we arent alone. Although I think i find the solitude of this state of mind pleasing... well I guess I dont, I should probably say I often mentally comfort myself by reasoning that Im the only one who is this way so I should just ignore it and get on.

This is the first time Ive tried to speak about it.


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OfflineStrumpling
Neuronaut
Registered: 10/11/02
Posts: 7,571
Loc: Hyperspace
Last seen: 5 years, 9 months
Re: Im fucking sick of it [Re: barfightlard]
    #2240856 - 01/14/04 05:37 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

It sounds like your biggest problem may be that you think you're all fucked up but your not.


--------------------
Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE


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Offlinem0rb
mushroom mobster

Registered: 05/07/03
Posts: 184
Loc: New England
Last seen: 12 years, 7 months
Re: Im fucking sick of it [Re: Strumpling]
    #2240902 - 01/14/04 06:33 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

I can kinda agree with Strumpling. Some people think they are all messed up because society teaches us what we are supposed to be right? WRONG. Some people have serious problems with depression.


-m0rb-


--------------------
"The business of America is business," - Calvin Coolidge


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