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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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I'm so fucking frustrated that my ego is the only thing keeping me from true and total connection
    #23811889 -

HOW THE FUCK DO YOU DEAL WITH THAT??????


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Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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Re: I'm so fucking frustrated that my ego is the only thing keeping me from true and total connection [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #23811940 -

Don't beat your ego up.  It's great having an ego and for it to be strong.  A strong ego is not egocentric.  A strong ego survives storms and has peace.


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"in sterquiliniis invenitur in stercore invenitur"

In filth it will be found in dung it will be found

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Re: I'm so fucking frustrated that my ego is the only thing keeping me from true and total connection [Re: Jokeshopbeard] * 3
    #23811975 -

You need to find some type of balance.  It's not that the ego doesn't or shouldn't exist -- merely that it is not the primary aspect of our being.  It can't be permanently banished, except in very rare instances.  It must be integrated in a way that wholeness is maximized and fragmentation is minimized.


"Spiritual appeals to transcend the ego are vain.  Like any other level of consciousness of energy, ego is.  Karma is.  All we can do is center ego consciousness and see it in proper relationship to the other "I's."  The "social ego" is abysmally trivial when compared to the "atomic I," the "DNA I," but that's the glorious humor of the cosmic hide-and-seek.  That "social ego" can possess such eccentric, foolish power to camouflage the other divinities that lie beneath our skin."  --Timothy Leary


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Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici

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Re: I'm so fucking frustrated that my ego is the only thing keeping me from true and total connection [Re: DividedQuantum]
    #23812005 -

Thanks guys, I really appreciate the support. A few mins after I posted OP, this happened:

So I suddenly got this urge to smoke DMT...

Which kinda doesn't quite make sense right now but it makes me feel a hell of a lot more confident as to what this being alive business is all about. Love.

Accepting and loving this ego with which I have been given must therefore be a part.


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Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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Re: I'm so fucking frustrated that my ego is the only thing keeping me from true and total connection [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #23812011 -

keeping whom from what total connection?

how would you imagine a total connection is different from what is happening already?


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:brainfart: _ :finger:

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Re: I'm so fucking frustrated that my ego is the only thing keeping me from true and total connection [Re: redgreenvines]
    #23812031 -

You don't feel that RGV? The distraction from the true essence in dealing with day to day life?


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Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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Re: I'm so fucking frustrated that my ego is the only thing keeping me from true and total connection [Re: Jokeshopbeard] * 2
    #23812105 -

qualitatively yes, compared to some idealization maybe, or to some memory of a better feeling.

but I don't feel that is is an imperfection or fault of ego which is damming up the flow; some days there is hardly any of that lovely flow, while others have a completely different character.

across all days I guess it averages out, but some days are less groovy and there is not much you can do about it.

at that point I begin picking up lint or calculating taxes or something humble to go better with the lowered posture and lack of expectation.


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:brainfart: _ :finger:

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Re: I'm so fucking frustrated that my ego is the only thing keeping me from true and total connection [Re: redgreenvines]
    #23812132 -

Sage advice my good sir, and I thank you for it.


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Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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Re: I'm so fucking frustrated that my ego is the only thing keeping me from true and total connection [Re: Jokeshopbeard] * 1
    #23812149 -

Each person's ego is transparent to themselves. All you have to do is look.

And if you consider that it's your ego that's being frustrated that might make more sense.


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rahz

comfort pleasure power love     truth awareness peace I am      I feel      I do     I love  I speak    I see    I know

why there is reality and patterned, law-like consistency at all, rather than noise or non-reality is not a question physics answers. It's a question physics presupposes an answer to in order to provide other answers.

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Re: I'm so fucking frustrated that my ego is the only thing keeping me from true and total connection [Re: Jokeshopbeard] * 2
    #23812944 -

this just popped up on my fb newsfeed and it seems applicable to this thread :smile:

"As the old saying goes, whatever you resist persists. As so many people have found through their own experience, resisting and rejecting the ego only sustains it. It is also true that indulging the ego sustains it. However, whatever we bring love to can transform, because authentic love is a very transformational energy. When the ability to discriminate truth from falseness aligns with the transformational energy of Redemptive Love, it becomes an extremely powerful force for awakening and transformation. So, bringing some loving compassion to the divided ego can allow it to relax out of the center of consciousness and open the way for something more whole and complete to arise. As a guiding principle, when in doubt Love."

~Adyashanti


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Re: I'm so fucking frustrated that my ego is the only thing keeping me from true and total connection [Re: deff]
    #23813102 -

what does it mean?


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:brainfart: _ :finger:

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Re: I'm so fucking frustrated that my ego is the only thing keeping me from true and total connection [Re: redgreenvines]
    #23813160 -

hmm.. I thought he did a pretty good job of it... simply that making an enemy of the ego will also feed the divisive effect it has on the mind. and that loving it/ourself will release this and allow for positive transformation. it is an experiential truth rather than one based so much on logic I think :smile:


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Re: I'm so fucking frustrated that my ego is the only thing keeping me from true and total connection [Re: deff] * 1
    #23813352 -

What do you want out of these connections? Is it unconditional? I mean, do you want to give without expecting anything in return, or do you want to take more than you give?

That turns people off, they feel it, they feel the wanting, the hunger.

Best bet is to create a lightness of happiness in your life through good, sturdy, determined attempts at understanding your needs and wants and the nature of the situation of life.

Start by not being hard on yourself. The pain is trying to teach you this, it's trying to teach you to regulate.

Then when you have abundance, excess, of joy in your life, then you can approach people unconditionally and create very interesting connections.

No one wants a relationship or connection with conditions. Boring.


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Hostile humankind
Can't you see you're fucking blind?

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Re: I'm so fucking frustrated that my ego is the only thing keeping me from true and total connection [Re: deff] * 1
    #23814423 -

beforethedawn said:
What do you want out of these connections? Is it unconditional? I mean, do you want to give without expecting anything in return, or do you want to take more than you give?


It's not necessarily in relation to people (although it can be found through others IME), and it's nothing to do with taking or giving. I had a full on religious experience a few months ago, and felt like I practically stared at the face of 'god' (although it just looked like a sphere to me).

I could barely talk cause of crying and snot for a good 3-4 hours after that experience, cause I felt a feeling more powerful than any I have ever felt in my whole life - an absolute longing to reconnect with whatever that energy/force is. It literally brought me to my knees.

And it just kinda clicked for me earlier today that the only thing keeping from that connection is my ego. I made this thread in a frustrated moment but I believe what deff quoted to be the case absolutely:

deff said:
"As the old saying goes, whatever you resist persists. As so many people have found through their own experience, resisting and rejecting the ego only sustains it. It is also true that indulging the ego sustains it. However, whatever we bring love to can transform, because authentic love is a very transformational energy. When the ability to discriminate truth from falseness aligns with the transformational energy of Redemptive Love, it becomes an extremely powerful force for awakening and transformation. So, bringing some loving compassion to the divided ego can allow it to relax out of the center of consciousness and open the way for something more whole and complete to arise. As a guiding principle, when in doubt Love."


(Thanks for that deff)

It's a work in progress. As a wise friend told me once, 'it's impossible to love everything about someone' - and I feel that is the case with ourselves also.

As much as I have learned to love myself over the past year, there's still this 'ego' thing there that is the root of my separation with 'the whole'. When I manage to quiet it, to bring it right in, then I feel a connection with life so strong it always brings tears to my eyes, happens quite often (weeklyish) these days, and it's a feeling so sublime if there were an easy path to it I feel it would bring peace to every member of our species.

I guess the ego waxes and wanes in its presence, and like anything, work is needed to achieve a joyful balance with it. I guess getting pissed off with aspects of our own or others characters is normal and unavoidable for the most part, but perhaps there is a way to free ourselves from all ill will. I'm certainly trying to find out if that's possible in my time here.

Thanks so much to everyone who chipped in on this thread, lots of love to you all.


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Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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Re: I'm so fucking frustrated that my ego is the only thing keeping me from true and total connection [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #23814592 -

Jokeshopbeard said:
. I'm so fucking frustrated that my ego is the only thing keeping me from true and total connection
HOW THE FUCK DO YOU DEAL WITH THAT??????


of  course as a meditator you already know that that is only a thought arising as the result of previous conditioning and that 'you' will soon be preoccupied with another concern .... and another ... and ...

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Re: I'm so fucking frustrated that my ego is the only thing keeping me from true and total connection [Re: laughingdog]
    #23814598 -

LOL, yes. But somehow is the ego not more tangible than a single thought?


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Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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Re: I'm so fucking frustrated that my ego is the only thing keeping me from true and total connection [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #23814634 -

Jokeshopbeard said:
LOL, yes. But somehow is the ego not more tangible than a single thought?



ego ... tangible?

is it squishy? rough like sandpaper? wet? dry? hot? cold? ...

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Re: I'm so fucking frustrated that my ego is the only thing keeping me from true and total connection [Re: laughingdog]
    #23814646 -

Yeah, wrong word there. But it seems to me so much stronger than a single thought, which is relatively easy to observe and let go.

The ego by comparison seems to govern so many actions and responses. More like a rulebook that has to be re-written time after time.


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Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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Re: I'm so fucking frustrated that my ego is the only thing keeping me from true and total connection [Re: Jokeshopbeard] * 1
    #23814813 -

Everything I touch turns to ego. There comes a point when everything stops working and all you can do is go back to your breath, that's when lasting transformation begins.

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Re: I'm so fucking frustrated that my ego is the only thing keeping me from true and total connection [Re: Jokeshopbeard] * 1
    #23815043 -

Jokeshopbeard said:
Yeah, wrong word there. But it seems to me so much stronger than a single thought, which is relatively easy to observe and let go.

The ego by comparison seems to govern so many actions and responses. More like a rulebook that has to be re-written time after time.


a thought arises because of your conditioning and some stimulus or cue arising in the brain (could be sensation from environment in the brain or a memory),

ego is the totality of all thoughts that would be expressed, i.e. all memory, i.e. it is the terrain of all your conditioning, i.e. it is all of thought, inclination, etc.

It gets highlighted because we observe thought and behavior that is not helpful, and we can rightly say, ego is responsible, though ego or memory or conditioning is responsible for everything.

SO we get into meditation to add the relaxing and contemplative edge, to build a PAUSE into our overall aggregate response body (ego) and to sit with ourselves as we moderate the unsuitable attitudes and engage more suitable ones.

the ego is reworkable this way. it is not escaped it is lived with and cultivated as a garden would be by a gardener.


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:brainfart: _ :finger:

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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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