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 MANNALORD
Vagabond Ninjafor Hire
Registered: 07/01/01
Posts: 128
Loc: F- R
Last seen: 18 years, 10 months
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 FOR THE HATERS AND ALL WHO ARE TRUE 
#370536 - 08/12/01 03:01 AM (23 years, 3 months ago) |
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im gonna rant some shit on my mind, i hope that all you can accept my rants with an open mind like the mind was when it let this shit out. EAST COAST.
I was a good kid, 2 years ago, lily white, innocent. Thats all gone now and i cant go back, adolesence sucks. Too many decisions with drastic effects, im trying to stop smokin, come on ma????? why dont you believe me??? fuck it, im out. The reefer is still blazin with my "homies" how do i know that when the day comes some of these "homies" got my back? i know some do, but the some are few, true homies are hard to find, when u do hold on, they help you through the life you live and reflect on you later. So many temptations, weed doesnt get my high anymore. Weed as a gateway drug is true in some cases...... like mine, when i first started smokin, it was weed on the mind, not anymore, its all this chemical shit. If thats where it goes, then..... thats where it goes, but is this what i want? i dont think i'll ever know, and we'll never know cause i only go one way, so its on. I hate some people, but i guess thats normal, wtf is goin on in them peeps heads man?? wtf is that shit? why is life the way it is?? why the fuck are we here, lets have fun, its the only way to bear life right??? where else is the pleasure? besides fun its all bullshit and fuckin workin and expectations and pressure, FUCK IT ALL, and WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO TELL ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE????? FUCK THE COPS, YEA FUCK U! IM NOT BOTHERING ANYONE, WHEN I DO U CAN LOCK ME UP BUT UNTIL THEN FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS FOR ALL OF US, "PSYCHONAUTS" AND ALL THOSE FUCKERS WHO JUDGE US AND HAVE THEIR CORRUPT FUCKING MINDSETS, I'M A LIVE MY MOTHERFUCKIN LIFE AND YOU CANT CHANGE ME, once again, FUCK THE COPS, FUCK OUR SOCIETY WHICH OUTLANDS US AS WORTHLESS DRUGGIES, FUCK IT ALL, WE'RE STILL PEOPLE ARENT WE?????? SO FUCK THIS WHITE LIFE IF ITS BLACK HOW I LIVE IT THEN I GUESS I LIVE A FUCKIN DARK LIFE SO FUCK IT ALL, *thud* im out...........
im tellin you now, you motherfuckers dont know me
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Live and Die in FALL RIVER
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I_AM_THE_WALRUS
addict
Registered: 08/01/01
Posts: 541
Last seen: 22 years, 7 months
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 Re: FOR THE HATERS AND ALL WHO ARE TRUE [Re: MANNALORD]
#370540 - 08/12/01 03:15 AM (23 years, 3 months ago) |
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personally ...im not "down" with the "gangsta" thing thats goin on.
kinda weird...but im learning to accept it
WE CANT STOP HERE!!!!....THIS IS BAT COUNTRY
life.....its sexually transmitted and always fatal.
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TRIPLE DIPPED!?!?!?!
hey, kid.... you wanna buy some lsd?? -me
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batou
artist
Registered: 05/06/00
Posts: 398
Loc: colorado
Last seen: 13 years, 7 months
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Re: FOR THE HATERS AND ALL WHO ARE TRUE [Re: MANNALORD]
#370545 - 08/12/01 03:51 AM (23 years, 3 months ago) |
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seems as though you have tried writting a single. I aGREE AS MOST PEOPLE HERE( AS I WOULD BELIVE) just leave us alone -- we aren't trying to hurt anyone.
it's nice to see that you let it out this way rather than taking a tec-9 to a class room.
let it out artistically rather than physically.
--b
The multiple troubles of man,
My brother, like slander and pain
Amaze you? Consider the heart
That holds them all in strangeness
And doesn't break.
"It tastes like... burning."--ralph wiggam
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The multiple troubles of man,
My brother, like slander and pain
Amaze you? Consider the heart
That holds them all in strangeness
And doesn't break.
"The Dude abides..."--jeffrey lebowski
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 In(di)go
People of the sun.
 
Registered: 10/29/00
Posts: 8,157
Loc: Cologne, Germany
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Re: FOR THE HATERS AND ALL WHO ARE TRUE [Re: MANNALORD]
#370579 - 08/12/01 08:20 AM (23 years, 3 months ago) |
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mannalord... read "conversations with god" from neale donald walsh... you?ll find answers to your questions there...
In(di)go
"I Am That I Am"
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MANNALORD
Vagabond Ninjafor Hire
Registered: 07/01/01
Posts: 128
Loc: F- R
Last seen: 18 years, 10 months
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Re: FOR THE HATERS AND ALL WHO ARE TRUE [Re: In(di)go]
#370709 - 08/12/01 04:35 PM (23 years, 3 months ago) |
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It dont matter if u like this "gangster" shit, im no fuckin gangster, if ur down with me, be like batou, thx man, if not tell me ur a hater and ur against my shit, dont make some asshole comment about gangsters. fuck man, ill check it out lozt soul.
im tellin you now, you motherfuckers dont know me
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Live and Die in FALL RIVER
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StankyBitch
member
Registered: 07/23/01
Posts: 186
Last seen: 18 years, 7 months
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Re: FOR THE HATERS AND ALL WHO ARE TRUE [Re: MANNALORD]
#370722 - 08/12/01 04:59 PM (23 years, 3 months ago) |
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I feel where you're coming from. It's just not the way to live though. I have been in some of the worst ghettos in the nation. I mean, Detroit is the only city I know of ( I been all over the US and Europe) that someone is going to fuck with you no matter how cool you are or what kind of person you are. I feel bad because guys that act like you do are the ones who turn out to be some skeezy bitch in jail. I'm sorry but it's true. No one in jail respects a craker trying to act black. The only way to get by is to lay low and respect people or to try and be hard and you better be ready to shank a motherfucker cause even county is no joke. Please don't think I'm trying to get down on you, I'm just trying to save you some heartache and your anal virginity. Even if you are the baddest dude in jail, do you really want to be that way on the outside? You gotta figure out how you're going to live so you can love someone else and yourself because that's what life is all about. If things at home suck you have to find other ways to reach out and get help. I can tell you some stories about having a crack head narcotic guzzling dad who fucked around with hookers and a mom who was never around. Anyway man, just keep your head up. I am proud that you reached out to people here and that you now you have to change something in your life. That's pretty mature for a guy who I'm assuming is between the ages of 13 and 15. Anyway man, feel free to talk to me, yell at me, whatever, just get it OUT!!!
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MANNALORD
Vagabond Ninjafor Hire
Registered: 07/01/01
Posts: 128
Loc: F- R
Last seen: 18 years, 10 months
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Re: FOR THE HATERS AND ALL WHO ARE TRUE [Re: StankyBitch]
#370787 - 08/12/01 07:47 PM (23 years, 3 months ago) |
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man i aint no ganster, for the last time, its just that lifes hard and i can relate to that shit, i aint worried about goin to jail or any of that shit, just sometimes i get real stressed out and have to let shit out like, thx for the positive feedback tho.
im tellin you now, you motherfuckers dont know me
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Live and Die in FALL RIVER
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Ishmael
enthusiast
Registered: 10/28/99
Posts: 224
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Re: FOR THE HATERS AND ALL WHO ARE TRUE [Re: MANNALORD]
#371366 - 08/14/01 12:35 AM (23 years, 3 months ago) |
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I'm not going to belay the point...you're here seeking some sort of substantiation for the way you want to behave. You want some sense of brotherhood...(the fact that you're posting here on a Spirituality-Philosophy board combined with your complaints about not knowing the legitimacy or depth of your friendships). You want to know you're not alone in the way you're feeling, like everyone else on the fucking planet. Well you're not alone. Very definately you're not alone. In addition, we're not exactly a really restrictive group of people - we're kind of an open tribe. Membership isn't applied for or even given, you include yourself with your presence of mind. But if you're serious about including yourself (as a 'psychonaut'), then you have to be prepared to deal with the rest of the group. I mean, just present yourself as you are - don't go to great lengths trying to hide by presenting yourself as one thing (proudly bellowing out: 'East Coast' in your opening sentence and then peppering the rest of your message with consciously constructed ebonic word-forms) and then getting upset and bombastic when people categorize you in an attempt to help/figure you out ("im tellin you now, you motherfuckers dont know me" or "im no fuckin gangster"). You're too ready to deflect some sort of attack that isn't there. It's called projection of anxiety. You're afraid that all that people will do is percieve you as one thing (that which you present outright), rather than as a complex individual. The old: 'Book by its cover' analogy. I'm not attacking you, i'm just saying, that to get along in this 'community' you have to present depth for it to be percieved. I totally respect the feelings of frustration you feel, but if you want us to relate to you, you may have to be willing to reciprocate and try to relate to us. Most of us here are open minded enough not to fall into the trap of mis-perception and assumption that states that you're just another white kid wrapped up in 'gangsta' or 'hiphop' culture (or whatever fuckwit label is popular with the media this week) .
Now concerning what you wrote about...
You sound burned out. And you know that at the very least. You want to stop with the weed, but its how you bond with your friends. You don't want to be the guy that stops bonding with your friends...almost like it lowers your or their status. It complex. But if weed isn't even working any more, than when they ask you to blaze, just say: I'm taking a break from the pot. It's not hard, and after about a month, you clear all of that residual THC out of your system and you can actually get high again. Just don't fall into the trap of the replacement drug. Don't switch-up to LSD or X because the pot isn't working. You're right, that is how pot can be a gateway. So you just have to chill out man. If you're at all interested in philosophy and/or spirituality (as your post seems to indicate) you may want to re-think why you're getting high. Are you getting high to numb shit out and make boredom more bareable? Or are you doing it to try to make some sort of connection to the world/universe/god (whatever)? It's hard to use a drug in a spiritual vein when you're abusing or have become addicted to it. Just realize that when you do start pushing yourself down into the realm of the addict, you do tend to generalize YOURSELF. Which is why my motto in all matters relating to drugs is: Moderation. Without it you just become a slave to impulse and loose whatever it is you feel makes you unique.
Ish
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MANNALORD
Vagabond Ninjafor Hire
Registered: 07/01/01
Posts: 128
Loc: F- R
Last seen: 18 years, 10 months
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Re: FOR THE HATERS AND ALL WHO ARE TRUE [Re: Ishmael]
#371371 - 08/14/01 12:58 AM (23 years, 3 months ago) |
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thanks alot ish, you were the first with an extremely intelligent reply to my post and i have to say i am in a much calmer mood now than when i wrote all that jarble. I may have created a stereotype for myself with that post because i must say, im not always like that, it was the end of a very rough day and i had alot on my mind, but it felt good to let all that out and just o have been myself and i had some non-negative responses which i am glad for. I thank you for being so honest about what you thought of my post. My life has been taking some drastic changes lately and the east coast bullshit kind of just reflects where i live, nothing gangster still, i think my ebonic use in that rant was a. because i was angry and b. not necessarily the music i listen to that would be a bias but more of how things are where i live and who my friends are, i never considered myself a gangster thug and my true side really lies in spirituality and im not really that type of person it just happens to be that way sometimes. Although i am fairly happy now, occassionally ill get down or angry about how things go and my brain doesnt work the same way. this isnt an excuse for my post, but an explanation of why it is the way it is, i hope you can all understand, thanks again ish.
im tellin you now, you motherfuckers dont know me
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Live and Die in FALL RIVER
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Sclorch
Clyster
Registered: 07/12/99
Posts: 4,805
Loc: On the Brink of Madness
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Re: FOR THE HATERS AND ALL WHO ARE TRUE [Re: MANNALORD]
#371803 - 08/14/01 02:50 AM (23 years, 3 months ago) |
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Ishmael- beautifully done.
Mannalord- thanks for expressing yourself in a constructive manner.
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Note: In desperate need of a cure...
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MANNALORD
Vagabond Ninjafor Hire
Registered: 07/01/01
Posts: 128
Loc: F- R
Last seen: 18 years, 10 months
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Re: FOR THE HATERS AND ALL WHO ARE TRUE [Re: Sclorch]
#371899 - 08/14/01 02:50 AM (23 years, 3 months ago) |
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thanks
somehow, my thoughts are more insane than the mind they spawn from
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Live and Die in FALL RIVER
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ArCh_TemPlaR
enthusiast
Registered: 07/15/01
Posts: 200
Last seen: 22 years, 7 months
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Re: FOR THE HATERS AND ALL WHO ARE TRUE [Re: MANNALORD]
#372695 - 08/15/01 10:25 PM (23 years, 3 months ago) |
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In reply to:
im gonna rant some shit on my mind, i hope that all you can accept my rants with an open mind like the mind was when it let this shit out. EAST COAST.
<>
Your post reminds me of a story I read from a Tibetan buddhist website. The gentleman (err) was hispanic who grew up in the hood. He was hardcore gangster, doing robbery, dealing dope to murder from the age of 8-10 to 20ish. It was when he hit 20 (I think) he was caught for murder [or attempted murder] and was sentence to life prisonment. In jail, he was lost and raged to find the reasons for his actions and the course of his dark life had taken. He began tapping into the library, do a little soul-searching. And it is there, the moment he found Tibetan philosophy it changed his life and his worth as a human being. It was in his prisonment he finally found: "Liberation."
For Twilight
BTW - If you want the link, I'll have to find it for you.
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ArCh_TemPlaR
enthusiast
Registered: 07/15/01
Posts: 200
Last seen: 22 years, 7 months
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Re: FOR THE HATERS AND ALL WHO ARE TRUE [Re: MANNALORD]
#372703 - 08/15/01 10:36 PM (23 years, 3 months ago) |
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In reply to:
somehow, my thoughts are more insane than the mind they spawn from
Then be mindful of such thoughts when they occur. If it is a negative one, do not let it continue to fester and grow until you feel the power of it. You are the navigator of your mind, and the keeper of your thoughts. Be always watchful, so you'll have a self-release valve for yourself.
For Twilight
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Swami
Eggshell Walker
Registered: 01/18/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house
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Re: FOR THE HATERS AND ALL WHO ARE TRUE [Re: MANNALORD]
#372883 - 08/16/01 06:41 AM (23 years, 3 months ago) |
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Anger begets anger and hate begets hate. You hate the haters which continues the viscous circle.
Look at the Middle East. No on wants to cut the cord to the past. This nonsense has been carried forward for thousands of years. The same with race relations in the States.
As to never being able to trust anyone, that speaks of yourself as being untrustworthy. This is in no way a judgement on you. Karma is not some some mystical mumbo-jumbo. You have disappointed others as much as you have been disappointed. Wrong thinking and wrong action begets pain. Pure and simple. Suffering is the arrow to point you towards the higher path. Don't indulge in it or deny it, use it!
Forget what the world is doing. Take charge of your life. Love yourself and the situation that you are in and the keys to moving beyond will appear. The more tension that you let go, the more light fills in the place where the darkness was.
Peace, bro
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The proof is in the pudding.
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MANNALORD
Vagabond Ninjafor Hire
Registered: 07/01/01
Posts: 128
Loc: F- R
Last seen: 18 years, 10 months
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Re: FOR THE HATERS AND ALL WHO ARE TRUE [Re: Swami]
#373267 - 08/16/01 07:26 PM (23 years, 3 months ago) |
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i can trust, but those are few, i doubt anyone can trust everyone, thx
somehow, my thoughts are more insane than the mind they spawn from
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Live and Die in FALL RIVER
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