'Taking it to the cross,' is about crucifying one's ego, or 'fixing Mercury' as the alchemists put it. One could emulate the 'spiritual athletes' who mortified their flesh in numerous masochistic ways, but as Siddartha Gautama realized, this is not the 'Middle Way,' and such austerity subtly reinforces the ego.
I have experienced Grace-given strength in many ways. When I was a young addictions counselor some 20 years ago, the only person who showed up for group was an incredibly hot chick. That night she was in a double-breasted navy business suit, but she'd show up in tight tight jeans, red stilletto shoes and a knit sweater with no bra, and drive the males nuts. She was a busty, curvy, redhead (which she wore in a 'shag' cut), who apparently liked me, and with group cancelled, as I walked her downstairs in this building, she stopped me on the 3rd floor landing and said breathily that she wanted to 'jump my bones.' Now, I was in a recent marriage which was bad to begin with, and I had in fact fantasized about this client, but I was married, and she was a client, so she could have caused me serious legal problems, but she was SO hot, (forget how messed up she was). Instead of my expected response, which would have been to f**k her right then and there in the stair-well at about 7:00 PM with no one around (except for the security kid who followed her upstairs, with a woody no doubt).
Well, this totally unexpected calm came over me (I should have been trembling with excitement), and a few very basic words, to the effect that I'd very much like for her to do that, but it was really not a good idea at this point of my life. Well, she was so flustered at this rejection that she attempted to exit the stairwell on the 3rd floor, thinking we were on the ground floor. I don't think she was accustomed to rejection for sex, and I was in an altered state just amazed at the calmness, smoothness and certitude that what I was saying/doing was right. It wasn't a self-righteous feeling, and it seemed as if that calm and certitude had 'come upon me' from outside of my nature. This, I still believe, was Grace-in-action. I followed up saying that if and when I was in a position to see her, that I would. I meant it and was sincere and compassionate, not cold or condescending. I remember this incident well, and I mention it because it is the 'downflowing' of Grace from the Transcendental Source which has always allowed me to act in a Transcendental manner such as this. It is not mere guilt, or fear, although I feel the tension between right and wrong. I don't think I could have said no to that woman without intervention.
BTW, some time later she called to ask me to appear in court on her behalf. She said she was picked up with a couple of joints in her possession, nothing more. Well, she had a couple of partly smoked joints, cocaine, and was drunk and weaving all over the road according to the docket in the courtroom. Her lawyer was terrified of the judge and stood mute while I proceeded to convince the judge that 12 months in residential drug treatment (I only saw her for 1 &1/2 hours a week) was better than 18 months in jail. I convinced the judge - got her out of jail and into our residential program, from which she eloped some months later. You see, we are all players in a drama. I did the right thing at a moment, and she needed to have the right thing done for her.
I don't know how much she was influenced by our encounters, but clearly, I never forgot them. Grace was part of all that, and Grace is always freely given by GOD according to Christian doctrine - which means, in part, that one need not ask for it because it is a result of GOD's omniscience. Sorry for the ramble - I drank too much Merlot, my Lady went to sleep, and I'm sublimating into writing. Hope it was entertaining. Peace.
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γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
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