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OfflineFrog
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I'm fucked up
    #2240676 - 01/14/04 02:38 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Last February, February 14th, to be exact, I had a falling out with a "suitor". Because I was depressed, my girlfriend did exactly the right thing, in my opinion.

She got me a bottle of champagne, and drove 95 mph to Fresno, which is most definitely not God's country, and rented us a motel room on the prostitute boardwalk, where the motels were cheapest.

In essence, me and my "gay lover" (according to my family), got drunk, drove 250 miles at 11:00 P.M., stopped to play pool along the way, ate See's candy in the room, drank more, and pretty much caroused.

We didn't hurt anyone. We didn't wreck. She's a careful driver. I'm actually the one who got drunk while she was driving.

In my opinion, it was a pretty funny incident. I wrote an email about the incident and sent it to a sister. She wrote back that it wasn't funny, but quite sad, indeed. My entire family ended up hearing about it, to my chagrin.

How do you live? Does your life reflect that of your family of origin? Are you an outcast because of your choice of lifestyle?

It's really funny to me. I am an attorney. That's supposed to be an esteemed position in our society. My family treats me like I am a pariah because of the things I like to do in my "off-hours", even thought it doesn't reflect on my work, or my beliefs. And even though for the most part I am just a person.


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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Offlinemanna_man
High onlife.....andcrack

Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 481
Loc: Vancouver
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
Re: I'm fucked up [Re: Frog]
    #2240727 - 01/14/04 03:05 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

"That's supposed to be an esteemed position in our society. My family treats me like I am a pariah because of the things I like to do in my "off-hours", even thought it doesn't reflect on my work, or my beliefs."

You can be the nicest, kindest, most trustworthy, smartest, ect, ect, person in the world, but if there is one part of you that doesn't compute with the "societal norms", then you will MOST LIKELY be looked at in a different light.

If I told my family that I have become a much better person because of psychedelics they would shit their pants, despite the obvious good it has done for me and the people I come into contact with.

My life is quite different then that of my family. Actually, the way I live my life is much different than most of the "normal" people out there.


--------------------
This post is protected under copyrite law.All above content is strictly the property of ?manna_man.Any infringement of copyright property is strictly prohibited.Any violators will be stretched, shot, and then vaporized into a state of anti-matter, where they will cease to exist.


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InvisibleSkorpivoMusterion
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Re: I'm fucked up [Re: Frog]
    #2240738 - 01/14/04 03:11 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Hey, I had no idea you were a Lesbian! :laugh:


--------------------
Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.


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OfflineFrog
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Re: I'm fucked up [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #2240742 - 01/14/04 03:16 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Lesbian is as lesbian does.    :lol:


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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OfflineFrog
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Re: I'm fucked up [Re: manna_man]
    #2240745 - 01/14/04 03:21 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

manna_man said:
If I told my family that I have become a much better person because of psychedelics they would shit their pants, despite the obvious good it has done for me and the people I come into contact with.




And that right there sums up the essence of my question, and thank you, manna_man.

I could change your statement to read:

"If I told my family that I have become a much better person because of [belonging to the shroomery] they would shit their pants, despite the obvious good it has done for me and the people I come into contact with."

My family would shit their collective pants.

So, the next question would be, what would you do to change your life in order to fit in with the Joneses? Or would you?


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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OfflineFrog
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Re: I'm fucked up [Re: Frog]
    #2240762 - 01/14/04 03:36 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Other ways in which I am fucked up:

My sisters have nice houses, I don't...

My sisters are married, I'm not...

My sisters have not tried drugs, I have...

My sisters go to church every Sunday, I don't...

See???

I'm so fucked up!!!


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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Offlinemanna_man
High onlife.....andcrack

Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 481
Loc: Vancouver
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
Re: I'm fucked up [Re: Frog]
    #2240764 - 01/14/04 03:43 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

If you ask me, "the Joneses" are keeping our society in a state of united stagnation.
The few of us that do manage to break free usually end up leading more fulfilling lives anyways. Everyone else is too attached to their collective security that comes with being part of "the whole", and are too paranoid to abandon it because people fear the unknown/unusual.

On a side note, I believe there are two types of happy people:
Those who have truly found happiness and are content with their lives, and those who act content simply to perpetuate their role in society.


--------------------
This post is protected under copyrite law.All above content is strictly the property of ?manna_man.Any infringement of copyright property is strictly prohibited.Any violators will be stretched, shot, and then vaporized into a state of anti-matter, where they will cease to exist.


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Offlinemanna_man
High onlife.....andcrack

Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 481
Loc: Vancouver
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
Re: I'm fucked up [Re: Frog]
    #2240768 - 01/14/04 03:45 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

If you ask me, "the Joneses" are keeping our society in a state of united stagnation.
The few of us that do manage to break free usually end up leading more fulfilling lives anyways. Everyone else is too attached to their collective security that comes with being part of "the whole", and are too paranoid to abandon it because people fear the unknown/unusual.

On a side note, I believe there are two types of happy people:
Those who have truly found happiness and are content with their lives, and those who act content simply to sustain their role in society.


--------------------
This post is protected under copyrite law.All above content is strictly the property of ?manna_man.Any infringement of copyright property is strictly prohibited.Any violators will be stretched, shot, and then vaporized into a state of anti-matter, where they will cease to exist.


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InvisibleSkorpivoMusterion
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Re: I'm fucked up [Re: Frog]
    #2240770 - 01/14/04 03:46 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

I'm so fucked up!!!

Only by your family's so called standards.
Who obviously have typical old fashioned conceptions and pre-judgments and views of the world today.

Meanwhile there are millions of people with lifestyles like yours, they go out and have serious fuckin *FUN*. And they can totally nice people, never hurt anybody and respect others and so on. To them, this is normal, as well as it is to you.

Why not hold yourself to a standard that's at least far more closer to universal, such as "Do what ye may lest you harm no other".


--------------------
Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.


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OfflineShizpow
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Registered: 03/06/03
Posts: 83
Loc: Oregon
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Re: I'm fucked up [Re: Frog]
    #2240815 - 01/14/04 04:38 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

If your family members believe that getting drunk, eating candy, playing pool and fucking around in general is a terrible sin, then they're gonna die some very bored motherfuckers.

"Other ways in which I am fucked up:
My sisters have nice houses, I don't...
My sisters are married, I'm not...
My sisters have not tried drugs, I have...
My sisters go to church every Sunday, I don't..."

If you gave me the above description about your sisters by way of introduction, I might very well refuse to meet them. You sound magnitudes more interesting based on this alone. Don't knock yourself for not wanting to fit into a mold.


--------------------
If you cut a face lengthwise, urinate on it, and trample on it with straw sandles, it is said that the skin will come off. This was heard by the priest Gyojaku when he was in Kyoto. It is information to be treasured.


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InvisibleSkorpivoMusterion
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Re: I'm fucked up [Re: Shizpow]
    #2240858 - 01/14/04 05:42 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Your past lifetime took place in Ancient Japan, where you were once a honorable Samurai Warrior.

We carry our likes, dislikes, and affinities, and subconscious memories from our past lives into our current lives.

Hence, your avatar title. :grin:


--------------------
Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.


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OfflineStrumpling
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Registered: 10/11/02
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Re: I'm fucked up [Re: Frog]
    #2240862 - 01/14/04 05:47 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

bah the more "fucked-up" you think you are the more fucked-up you'll get


--------------------
Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE


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Offlinem0rb
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Registered: 05/07/03
Posts: 184
Loc: New England
Last seen: 13 years, 2 months
Re: I'm fucked up [Re: Frog]
    #2240898 - 01/14/04 06:26 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Ive spent the last 6 months thinking about where I want to be in life each night, and have come to the conclusion that you need to live life for you. You need to do what makes you happy, or happiness is not a life you will lead.

>My sisters have nice houses, I don't...
So what? They are driven into a 20yr debt storm, and are most definitely held down from exploring our great country, or the world for that matter!

>My sisters are married, I'm not...
Dont get me started about religion, but religion plays a big role on the list of percieved social norms. You do not need to be married to live a rewarding life. If someday you decide its time to be married, I hope you and your woman have a great life together. If your family cant accept who you are, and go against everything they say they stand for by not wishing a happy life for you, then fuck them. Honestly, if they would rather see you unhappy and married to some guy leading a fake life, then that says alot about them. Everything they live for is a LIE, and you would be better off without them.

>My sisters have not tried drugs, I have...
Yeah, I suppose "normal people" arent supposed to try drugs now are they? You have to live with, and accept who you are and what you do. Unfortunately not everyone can accept YOU for who YOU are. Drugs play both positive and negative roles in peoples lives depending how/when they are used. I dont know how you use drugs, so I really cant comment.

>My sisters go to church every Sunday, I don't..."
No matter what religion you take part in, it is almost a completely accepted idea that if you beleive in god, then you beleive in god and all will be good in the end. People goto church for alot of reasons. Whether it be because society says that you cant be a good person unless you go every sunday, or if you absolutely love God and legitimately wouldnt want to miss a day of it! I can tell you right now that more than 50% of the people that goto church need to go every Sunday because they feel guilty. ....reminds me of Smile Empty Soul - Every Sunday.mp3

"i don't want your solutions
and i don't wanna deal with your mistakes
no matter how much medication
the doctor says i need to take
i still say....

you're the ones that kill your babies
you're the ones that fuck your kids
you're the ones that throw each other away
you're the ones sitting in church every sunday

and i don't want your religions
and i don't need your sympathies
and i don't want a part of all your hatred
no matter how much you yell at me
i still say..."


Two of the main reasons you listed for you being "fucked up" revolve around religion. If relgion plays a big role in your life, and you think your life may be in conflict with it, then you might be better off discussing this with your minister/priest/etc.

I'm sure that you are a good person, and that you are just living life the way it was meant for you, because your different. Different is a good thing. Different is what makes you, you... and thats a good thing. Good luck Frog, and PM me if you want to chat.  :smile:


-m0rb-


--------------------
"The business of America is business," - Calvin Coolidge


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OfflineOook
Oook!

Registered: 08/19/03
Posts: 533
Loc: England
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Re: I'm fucked up [Re: Frog]
    #2240977 - 01/14/04 08:25 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

You're not fucked up, what's wrong with living a life outside of the mainstream monotony that so many face every day.

Not sure this is a great example but, my parents know I smoke weed and have accepted the fact instead of alienating me from the family. To me this seems like a resonable way of looking at things, especially as they know for a fact i'm not going to stop smoking for theirs or anyone else's beliefs.

All drugs have their downsides but when used in moderation the only thing your likely to contract is enjoyment.


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OfflinePhluck
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Re: I'm fucked up [Re: Shizpow]
    #2240985 - 01/14/04 08:36 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

"If you gave me the above description about your sisters by way of introduction, I might very well refuse to meet them. "

I think that's just as bigoted an opinion as her sisters. But I do agree that their lives are probably a lot more miserable for denying themselves simple pleasure.

Did you delve more deeply into your sister's reason for feeling what you did was "just sad", or leave it at that?


--------------------
"I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson
http://phluck.is-after.us


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Anonymous

Re: I'm fucked up [Re: Frog]
    #2241006 - 01/14/04 08:53 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

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OfflineFrog
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Re: I'm fucked up [Re: ]
    #2242095 - 01/14/04 05:33 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

First, everyone keep in mind I?m not totally crushed by this whole thing, except I don?t understand it completely.  I like everyone and pretty much accept people for who they are, except for liars, cheaters and thieves.  Oh, that would be  all of y?all, wouldn?t it??? j/k!  :lol:

Manna man:  "You can be the nicest, kindest, most trustworthy, smartest, ect, ect, person in the world, but if there is one part of you that doesn't compute with the "societal norms", then you will MOST LIKELY be looked at in a different light."

I know.  I hate that.  It?s because of their insecurities, right?

Manna man:  "On a side note, I believe there are two types of happy people:
Those who have truly found happiness and are content with their lives, and those who act content simply to perpetuate their role in society."

I agree.  And I am happy, and I think I?m doing the right things in my life, and I?m grateful for the people who care about me, who aren?t even family, and accept me anyways, in spite of the things I do that are kind of crazy.

Example:  I had to go to court recently on my own family law case against my ex.  A friend of mine, who is an attorney, called out of the blue and said he would represent me, without charging me a fee.  He?s normally a really business-minded person and doesn?t lightly do things like this.  (No, it?s not sex!)

But I have to admit that even though I understand that it is ?their problem?, I feel a little sad, and can?t help think that if I just tried harder to be normal, I would fit in better.  *shudder*

Does anyone think it strange that we can grow up in the same family with our siblings and end up so different? 

I am going to tell you what my sisters are like:

#1:  Actually, she and I are talking recently, and it turns out that she is more like me than I realized, and than she realized.  She?s studying to be a nurse right now.

#2:  Me!  Weird, warm and wonderful.

#3:  Is agoraphobic and judgmental.  Can?t drive in rain, darkness, fog, or alone.  Bank teller. 

#4:  Everything is ?marvelous? and ?super? and ?great!?.  Had ulcers in early 20?s from too much ass-kissing.  Now a CFO of a hospital.  Is currently involved in a pyramid scheme and tried to rope her sisters into it.  Kind of superficial.

#5:  Judgmental Christian.  Nurse. 

SkorpivoMusterion:  "Only by your family's so called standards.
Who obviously have typical old fashioned conceptions and pre-judgments and views of the world today."

Yes.  I don?t think I?m so bad.  I?d like to grab them and shake them and try to make them ?see?.

SkorpivoMusterion:  ?Your past lifetime took place in Ancient Japan, where you were once a honorable Samurai Warrior.

We carry our likes, dislikes, and affinities, and subconscious memories from our past lives into our current lives.

Hence, your avatar title.?

I don?t get how you are relating my avatar title too my past life.  What is my avatar title?  *looks at avatar*  Which one is my avatar title? 

m0rb:  ?I hope you and your woman have a great life together.?

I like her, mind you, but she?s not my type.  (Um, I?m not gay.) 

m0rb:  ?Two of the main reasons you listed for you being "fucked up" revolve around religion. If relgion plays a big role in your life, and you think your life may be in conflict with it, then you might be better off discussing this with your minister/priest/etc.?

No, I don?t think I have a conflict with religion.  I guess I have my interpretation of God and the bible and karma and all that, and I think it probably conflicts with their views.   

m0rb:  ?I'm sure that you are a good person, and that you are just living life the way it was meant for you, because your different. Different is a good thing. Different is what makes you, you... and thats a good thing. Good luck Frog, and PM me if you want to chat.?

That?s nice of you, m0rb.  And I agree with what you wrote.

Phluck:  ?Did you delve more deeply into your sister's reason for feeling what you did was "just sad", or leave it at that??

Yes.  This was sister #3, btw.  She said it was sad to think about her sister getting drunk.  Sad to think about her sister being in a car with a person who drives recklessly (lol at Renegade).  Sad to think of her sister staying in a cheap motel on Valentine?s day, drunk, with a woman?who might be a lesbian!!!  OMG!!!  I tried to explain the humor in it, but she just thought it was all very sad. 

Mr Mushrooms:  ?I don't fit in with the Joneses nor would I want to fit in with them. The Joneses do not have the ability to think their collective way out of a paper bag. Hence, their fascination with with material things, status seeking, power grabbing, money hungry, boob tube watching, rat race living, nonsense.?

Do you ever feel like you?re somehow ?not right? for not caring about those things?  I could give a crap about material things.  But if I don?t have them, other people then look at me like something is wrong with me.  Am I not successful?  If you don?t have a lot of things, you must not be successful.  And in So Cal, you are what you drive.  Do you not drive a Mercedes?  A BMW?  A?.whatever?.  Isn?t something wrong with me for not caring? 

Does your life reflect that of your family of origin?

Mr Mushrooms:  ?Yes, to some degree. But my path is significantly different enough most people would wonder if they ever gave me birth.?

What?s your family like?

I?m so different from my family.  And I haven?t hung around them for quite a while.  I have become more myself, the more I?m away from them, that I have changed quite a bit without realizing it, until I sent that email to sister #3.  My understanding is that the whole family was bothered by it, because of course she had to share how sad the whole thing was. 

Are you an outcast because of your choice of lifestyle?

Mr Mushrooms:  ?I cast my family out when I realized that they were an impediment to my healing. The less I have contact with them the happier I am.?

I want to know what your family is like. 

I would like to know how people evolve the way they do, out of the same family of origin.


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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InvisibleSkorpivoMusterion
Livin in theTwilight Zone...
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Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 9,946
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Re: I'm fucked up [Re: Frog]
    #2242126 - 01/14/04 05:43 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

LOL, I was referring to Shizpow, and his Oriental-ish name and avatar title...The avatar title is the arrangement of words under your sn that says "Student of the Universe, Life"


--------------------
Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.


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OfflineRenegade8
Niggar please

Registered: 10/11/03
Posts: 386
Loc: Orange County
Last seen: 9 years, 24 days
Re: I'm fucked up [Re: Frog]
    #2242346 - 01/14/04 07:15 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Man, there's so much I could say on this thread, but I'm at work & don't have shit for time.

Just to add a follow-up to Frog's story, I sent her e-mail & her sister's response to my mom to see what the big deal was.  My mom has always been cool about my driving fast, smoking pot, etc., so I didn't expect much of a reaction. 

I got the same damn thing Frog did, but without the sad part.  My mom didn't approve and couldn't understand why I was spending Valentine's Day in a motel eating candy with my gay lover.  I think she also would have been sad for me & how my awful life has turned out (her thoughts, not mine :stoned:), but my family stopped expecting anything out of me a long time ago, so they can't really be disappointed.

Quote:

Frog:  I would like to know how people evolve the way they do, out of the same family of origin.




I've wondered that since I was a little bitty kid.  How the fuck did I come from those people?! 

My parents are such shallow, closed-minded, selfish, negative, and materialistic people I've ever met.  If I wasn't related to 'em, I'd run screaming in the other direction if they even talked to me.  I'm so embarassed to even share their DNA that I wouldn't let Frog go meet 'em that weekend.  As far as I'm concerned, nobody needs to know where I come from.


--------------------
I'm just see-through faded, super jaded, and out of my mind. - R.I.P. Layne


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Anonymous

Re: I'm fucked up [Re: Frog]
    #2242535 - 01/14/04 09:05 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

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General Interest >> Philosophy, Sociology & Psychology

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