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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: kosmic_charlie]
    #2177420 -

hey Kosmic_charlie don't get dissapointed!!! Miracles do exist!!! I have left a same situation like yours! When the girl of my story told me that she has a fiance and i got dissapointed like u a few days later i heard that she left the other guy. 2 weeks later we were together..... :wink:

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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: Hamurabi]
    #2177885 -

I got asked out once..

By a fat ugly bitch.. She asked me what i would say if she asked me out.. I said NO..

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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: justsmurfy]
    #2178010 -

Well I haven't really stepped foot in the book store since that day. I've caught a glance of her a few times since then but I'm really just trying my best to get her out of my mind completely.

The next day a cute girl came into the store by herself and asked me if we sold beaded car seat covers. I told her we didn't and couldn't really suggest a place that does. A little later I was walking around the mall on break and I saw her again. I took a deep breath and went over to her and asked if she found that car seat cover yet, which she hadn't. I then asked her if she was shopping for her boyfriend. That probably sounded incredibly stupid but I was hoping she would take the bait and say "I don't have a boyfriend," which would make it much easier for me to ask for her phone number. Or maybe something like "Actually I'm shopping for my fiance," lol, which would save me some embarassment that I knew all too well. But instead she replied with a very ambiguous "I'm kinda shopping for everybody." I made a little more small talk with her but never asked for her number. I should have because I knew I'd never see her again but I guess I just didn't want to face two rejections in two days. So we said our goodbyes and that was it. I know, I messed that one up. I'm just no good at this. Unless she falls from the sky into my arms, I really don't see anything happening. Okay now I'm just being plain negative.

Quote:
I often wonder if women really understand how hard it is to approach some one. How many of you have had a woman approach you? If it's so easy and they're so liberated, why don't they do it more often?



Exactly! Girls, especially the cute ones, don't know how easy they have it. They expect guys to be able to just come up and talk to them and work through all these intricacies involved in a two way conversation to successfuly win a date or phone number from them. And they think guys that have trouble doing this don't have any balls.


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Goin' where the water tastes like wine.

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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: kosmic_charlie]
    #2178166 -

kosmic_charlie said:
Yeah that crossed my mind.  I never really did look to see if she had a ring after she told me that.  Afterwards, I thought maybe I should have said something half jokingly like "Well come on it's not like you're married or anything."  But if she made that up about being engaged and is gonna play games like that, then it's her problem because she's missing out on a good thing.  I'll have no part in that.


exactly the attitude i have about rejection/etc
though even though i have an easy going attitude towards rejection, its the first step that makes me nervous, not being rejected but just feeling pure awkward, i just dont have the confidence i guess
good to see you finally got the courage though :smile:


"The husband does seem really pathetic though and I don't think she and her husband are even sleeping together any more but they still live together. "
really sad to here that, i feel bad for the man

girl i used to like is currently talking to me after her fiance broke up with her and is dating like some 15 yr old..
shes still completely totally and insanely nuts about him though, so i dont really wanna have any part of that

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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: kosmic_charlie]
    #2184024 -

This is how I often feel after approaching a woman- right idea, wrong situation, no clue why I didn't know before hand... And sometimes a woman seems to think I'm hitting on her when all I'm interested in is chatting and killing some time. I get pretty irked by being missinterperted like that, I always wonder what I did that made them think that was my goal.

Kudos on having the gonads to try again, that's a sign of resilience if you ask me. I guess I just keep telling myself that they have no idea how hard it is to talk to them, which ties into my being irked when I just want to chat, because then it's much easier. Go figure.

-JustSmurfy


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Unsuitable for Human Consumption

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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: stefan]
    #2184138 -

stefan said:
kosmic_charlie said:
But seriously, I have so much love to give but sometimes it seems impossible to find someone both worthy and willing to receive it.


same here, looks like this is a common problem :smirk:



you can put me in that boat too.

ever notice how your IQ drops about 50 points the second you try to talk to someone you like? i'm shy as it is, but put me in a room with a girl i have a crush on and i turn into the village idiot. i fucking hate it.


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2,5-dimethoxy-4-astatophenethylamine

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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: ninetynine]
    #2184152 -

Quote:

ever notice how your IQ drops about 50 points the second you try to talk to someone you like? i'm shy as it is, but put me in a room with a girl i have a crush on and i turn into the village idiot



So true.


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Goin' where the water tastes like wine.

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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: kosmic_charlie]
    #2184166 -

that is true^^^


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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: kosmic_charlie]
    #2184510 -



Quote:
Exactly! Girls, especially the cute ones, don't know how easy they have it. They expect guys to be able to just come up and talk to them and work through all these intricacies involved in a two way conversation to successfuly win a date or phone number from them. And they think guys that have trouble doing this don't have any balls.


I often wonder if maybe being good looking is kind of difficult, I mean a girl might see guys she likes all the time and just can't get enough courage to ask them, and the guys are like wow shes way too cute no way I can even approach her.

Or what if someone is actually quite good looking, but they have really low self-esteem so they don't know that they even are good looking and as a result never approach anyone, and everyone thinks they are unapproachable as well, kind of sad if this were ever the case.

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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: caolite]
    #2184569 -

Sometimes I think about how many girls out there that you probably have no idea like you, and vice versa. Trouble is most of us are too shy to do anything about it.
Thing is, I assume everyone hates me first before thinking "Wow, she likes me!".

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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: Sheepish]
    #2184605 -

same here lol, its the best way to go that way you havenothing to lose because your just being casual  and you can get a better feel whether she likes you or not  :smirk:

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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: kosmic_charlie]
    #2184734 -

If I were you, I would just use the friendly humorous-buddy cool technique before i EVER even think of hittin em up for something deeper...going straight for the kill is just NOT how to do it in MY book...I take TIME..and just LET it happen, I dont force anything, or tempt fate in any way. So basically I just approach them as any cool ol' close buddy, just like anybody else, and be good ol fashioned self that I am...and see how it goes from there....not only does this type of approach makes it more relaxed and casual, but gives you more time to gauge what kinda person she is and see if you really like her or not. And its not like I do this "on purpose", this just comes naturally, because to ME, it's common sense to not go around hitting up women asking for phone numbers the FIRST damn thing...that works in movies, but in real life,? eh, sure you may get a number occasionally...but c'mon...even experienced people will tell you to take it slow and make sure she's what you're looking for..Remember..."Only fools rush in".
Unless they happen to be REALLY into them already, having total strangers ask em for personal info in the first line is just too obvious that they're just in it for the "Game". Real-honest-to-god relationships take REAL time. Strike up a FRIENDSHIP with the girl first...and then see how things go from there.... =)


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Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.

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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: Zwieback0]
    #2185519 -

The way I approach the whole girly situation is I do not bring any expectations into the scenario.. Talk to them get to know them.. Then ask for there number's once you at least no each other by name and have gotten to know each other.. Expecting to get some girls number the first time you talked to her will either just get you slutty chicks or turned down.. Just be patient..

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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #2185806 -

The one trouble with that technique is that you most likely end up in the friendship zone - you know "I like you, but I think we're better as friends".

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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: Bhairabas]
    #2185873 -

Yeah..The best time to go ask a girl out is when you your just getting to know them.. But the key is you at least need to get their names and hold a few conversation's before you go and ask for their number..

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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: Sheepish]
    #2185891 -

Exactly Sheepish. Sometimes you gotta cut right to the chase and grab the bull by the horns. It shows confidence that a lot of girls admire and are are turned on by. Girls like a guy that knows what he wants and will do what he can to get it. And asking for a phone number isn't like asking for sex.

Quote:
going straight for the kill is just NOT how to do it in MY book...I take TIME..and just LET it happen, I dont force anything, or tempt fate in any way.



I just don't see what I did as going straight for the kill. Going straight for the kill would have involved something like "Hi my name is kosmic_charlie and I work next door at -------, so do you wanna fuck?" You also have to go back to my original post and try to better understand the circumstances. This girl is constantly surrounded by co-workers and nagging Christmas shoppers. It's not like I could have gotten to know her a little more each day. It was damn near impossible for her to give me that minute of her time simply because she was busy doing a million tasks at once like always. So I didn't feel like I was being that unreasonable saying "Hey, I'd really enjoy talking to you some more but we're both always so busy at our jobs that it's so difficult. Why don't I give you a call some time and we can continue this conversation?" I agree that lots of times it is better to gradually get to know the girl before asking for a date or a number but you have to look at the circumstances of each situation.


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Goin' where the water tastes like wine.

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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: ninetynine]
    #2185958 -

Quote:
ever notice how your IQ drops about 50 points the second you try to talk to someone you like? i'm shy as it is, but put me in a room with a girl i have a crush on and i turn into the village idiot. i fucking hate it.


Yeah, exactly. I tend to get that way arround women I'm attracted to, not just the ones I have a crush on. Too many possibilities, maybe.

-JustSmurfy


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Unsuitable for Human Consumption

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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: justsmurfy] * 1
    #2186039 -

justsmurfy said:
I often wonder if women really understand how hard it is to approach some one.  How many of you have had a woman approach you?  If it's so easy and they're so liberated, why don't they do it more often?  Why wait for the guy to initiate a relationship?  My guess is that they find it as hard to come up with the courage as we do, but enjoy the benefits of having the male expected to have the balls to do something about it.  Yeah, maybe I'm a bit bitter about being in a situation where I'm forced to approach women and deal with the strong possibility of rejection (both nerve wracking), but what ticks me off is that women act like it's an easy thing to do, or if you don't do it well, that you're a jackass.  Rrrrrrr.  Hypocrisy.  .



Yeah, once I was talking to this girl on a date.  I asked her if she liked me before I asked her out and she said yes.  Then i asked her why she didn't ask me out, if she liked me then.  She said: "Thats a guy's job." 

So I was like, "But isnt saying 'Asking girls out is a guy's job' a little like saying, 'Cooking, cleaning, and raising children is a woman's job'?" 

After that, the conversation took a decidedly negative turn, as she had no good answer to my question.  There was no second date, and I never got any. :frown:

After that, I decided not to talk to chicks about stuff like that anymore.

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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: DoctorJ]
    #2186228 -

DoctorJ said:
Yeah, once I was talking to this girl on a date.  I asked her if she liked me before I asked her out and she said yes.  Then i asked her why she didn't ask me out, if she liked me then.  She said: "Thats a guy's job." 

So I was like, "But isnt saying 'Asking girls out is a guy's job' a little like saying, 'Cooking, cleaning, and raising children is a woman's job'?" 

After that, the conversation took a decidedly negative turn, as she had no good answer to my question.  There was no second date, and I never got any. :frown:

After that, I decided not to talk to chicks about stuff like that anymore.


:lol: Some things just have to be said though, nice job  :thumbup:

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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: TheDude]
    #2266145 -

Guys... go listen to Tom Leykis on the radio. They play him on the same station that they play Howard Stern on, and Don and Mike. He's on from 7 to 11pm, and he's out there for all the guys that seem to have lost they're balls. No more lonely nights for anybody. When you guys realize women are nothin special, and are there to get bagged then your whole perspective changes. He's not out to help you get a girlfriend or a wife, and neither am I for that matter, but he will sure as hell teach you how to get pussy. Listen to 'em guys.

www.blowmeuptom.com


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"America... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody in the world who tries to makes us uncomfortable." HST

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