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kosmic_charlie
Truckin' in style
Registered: 03/18/01
Posts: 5,203
Loc: Deep Elem
Last seen: 2 months, 14 days
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Approaching Girls
#2169760 - 12/08/03 07:26 PM (20 years, 3 months ago) |
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I suppose I could post this in Support Group Central but I don't really need support. I just want to share my story from today because writing about crappy experiences somehow makes me feel better.
I work at a mall so I see lots of hot girls every day. But I never really cared about them because there was this one girl that caught my attention from day one that works at the nearby book store. I mean she is amazing looking. Long straight raven black hair, big piercing eyes, tall, nice body, the whole package. And I could tell she had a nice personality just by the way she dealt with customers. So lately I've been spending part of my break in the book store just kind of observing her from afar and trying to muster up the courage to talk to her. She was always so busy with customers that trying to start up a conversation was really difficult. Well today I got up the courage to approach her with the intention of getting her phone number. I had it all planned out. First, I had to get her away from the counter where I could talk to her without her co-workers overhearing and without customers bothering her to buy their books. So I come up to her to ask where books are on guitar chords and scales. As I had hoped, she left her usual post from behind the counter and lead me to the music section. She had to have known something was up because she always sees me in the store (we've made eye contact many times and exchanged smiles) and if I don't know where the music section is by now then I'm a complete idiot. So then when I got her alone I made small talk by asking stuff like if it's been a busy day, how long she's been working here, etc. She knew where I worked wihout having to tell her, which was a good sign. We only talked for about half a minute because she had to get back but just as she was about to leave I told her I'd like to talk to her some more but we're both always so busy at our jobs so I'd like to call her some time. And her reply was "I would but I don't think my fiance would be too happy about that." Then she walked away. Damn it she's engaged! Talk about awkward. If you're a single guy you gotta look for that ring I guess. I never check to see if a girl has a ring or not, but then again I hardly ever approach girls out of the blue like I did today. The holiday season is always the loneliest time for me but this year I'm actually trying to take action to change that. But yeah that kinda ruined my day just because I've had my eye on this girl for a while now and I wanted so much for a miracle to happen.
Just had to get that off my back. I don't think I'll be hanging out much in the book store from now on.
-------------------- Goin' where the water tastes like wine.
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RespectTheFungus
Fungus Fan
Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 720
Loc: In a spore
Last seen: 18 years, 4 months
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Damn man that sucks. You know what you have to do now right, kill her fiance, put him in a wood chipper and go put the mack on. Mwahahhaha, jk dont do that. Peace.
-------------------- "With a bit of luck, his life was ruined forever. Always thinking that just behind some narrow door in all of his favorite bars, men in red woolen shirts are getting incredible kicks from things he'll never know."
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Anonymous
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that sucks, dude.
least you gave it a try, a lot of guys dont have the balls to approach a girl like that.
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kosmic_charlie
Truckin' in style
Registered: 03/18/01
Posts: 5,203
Loc: Deep Elem
Last seen: 2 months, 14 days
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That's pretty good advice. First I have to follow her home from work some day to see where she lives. She'll lead me right to him.
But seriously, I have so much love to give but sometimes it seems impossible to find someone both worthy and willing to receive it.
-------------------- Goin' where the water tastes like wine.
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Anonymous
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Quote:
But seriously, I have so much love to give but sometimes it seems impossible to find someone both worthy and willing to receive it.
same here.
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Razz
Grim Reefer
Registered: 09/25/03
Posts: 73
Last seen: 18 years, 8 months
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I'm the same fucking way only i haven't built up the courage to do anything about it . I'm so lonely and its taken a random post at a drug site for me to realize this. Damn ironies weird.
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Anonymous
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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: Razz]
#2169823 - 12/08/03 07:45 PM (20 years, 3 months ago) |
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Damn bro.... I guess now that we are getting older we got to look for those lil things called rings. Oh well even If I see it I still would try I guess.
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kosmic_charlie
Truckin' in style
Registered: 03/18/01
Posts: 5,203
Loc: Deep Elem
Last seen: 2 months, 14 days
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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: ]
#2169824 - 12/08/03 07:46 PM (20 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
least you gave it a try, a lot of guys dont have the balls to approach a girl like that.
Yeah I figure that'll get me a little ahead in the game. Nothing ever happens and I realize it's because I don't take action and go after what I want. What happened today was good and bad. I got my heart stomped on but I think it made me a little more confident so hopefully it won't be too long unil I approach the next girl and pray for better luck.
But damn it wasn't easy for me today. It was right after my shift and I stood right outside the bookstore for a minute or two shaking in my boots thinking about how easy it would be to simply abort and go home. But I've aborted just about every day for the past several weeks with this girl and I always kicked myself later. I had had enough and decided to bight the bullet. I get really nervous about making first contact like that. I just don't have a lot of experience with it that's all. And I have an amazing fear of rejection.
-------------------- Goin' where the water tastes like wine.
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Razz
Grim Reefer
Registered: 09/25/03
Posts: 73
Last seen: 18 years, 8 months
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I think if after the first time i should get confident but im not afraid of rejection everyone has to face that everyday but I just dont like confrontation especialy with people of the oppsite sex if i dont know them.
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notapillow
I want to be a fisherman
Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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i have nuthin in commen with any girls i no in my school or town i was obsesed with 1 girl 4 about 4 years, but last year i kinda drifted away from her because it kinda dawned on me that she was an intolarible bitch. at my new school i have no femail aqatanships at all. but at leased u gave it ur all,i mean hell if it were me i would have been to shy to even talk to her dont worry kc not al is lost
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phlow
newbie
Registered: 05/08/03
Posts: 28
Last seen: 20 years, 1 day
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No need to force it. It will come eventually, usually when you least expect it. Good start in the book store, lesson learned no harm done. I'd bet if she were single you'd have here number right now.
"Most of the cast that you meet on the streets speak of true love, most of the time they're sitting and crying at home. One of these days they know they gotta get going out of the door and down out on the streets all alone."
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djfrog
omgws!!!1!
Registered: 10/22/00
Posts: 3,710
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fiances, pet in the car, pepper spray, these are all mental games she plays to see if you really love her or give up so easily.
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kosmic_charlie
Truckin' in style
Registered: 03/18/01
Posts: 5,203
Loc: Deep Elem
Last seen: 2 months, 14 days
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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: djfrog]
#2169949 - 12/08/03 08:42 PM (20 years, 3 months ago) |
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Yeah that crossed my mind. I never really did look to see if she had a ring after she told me that. Afterwards, I thought maybe I should have said something half jokingly like "Well come on it's not like you're married or anything." But if she made that up about being engaged and is gonna play games like that, then it's her problem because she's missing out on a good thing. I'll have no part in that.
-------------------- Goin' where the water tastes like wine.
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Anonymous
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Just hold out a couple more years after she's married. By then she'll be getting tired of her husband and she'll be open to having affairs of all sorts.
Married chicks are easy.
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kosmic_charlie
Truckin' in style
Registered: 03/18/01
Posts: 5,203
Loc: Deep Elem
Last seen: 2 months, 14 days
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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: ]
#2169985 - 12/08/03 08:57 PM (20 years, 3 months ago) |
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Yeah tell me about it. My friend has been having an affair with this married girl for at least six months now. The three of us have hung out before and it's really weird. The last time, her husband called to check up on her a couple times. She talked to him on the phone while being all touchy feely with my friend. It's fucked up. Seeing shit like that makes me never want to have a serious relationship. The husband does seem really pathetic though and I don't think she and her husband are even sleeping together any more but they still live together.
-------------------- Goin' where the water tastes like wine.
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Druginduced
Stranger
Registered: 01/12/03
Posts: 5,139
Last seen: 16 years, 7 months
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justsmurfy
little bluetwerp
Registered: 09/09/03
Posts: 68
Last seen: 19 years, 11 months
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I often wonder if women really understand how hard it is to approach some one. How many of you have had a woman approach you? If it's so easy and they're so liberated, why don't they do it more often? Why wait for the guy to initiate a relationship? My guess is that they find it as hard to come up with the courage as we do, but enjoy the benefits of having the male expected to have the balls to do something about it. Yeah, maybe I'm a bit bitter about being in a situation where I'm forced to approach women and deal with the strong possibility of rejection (both nerve wracking), but what ticks me off is that women act like it's an easy thing to do, or if you don't do it well, that you're a jackass. Rrrrrrr. Hypocrisy. Where the hell's spell check when I need it? I hope it's coming back.
-JustSmurfy
-------------------- Unsuitable for Human Consumption
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stefan
work in progress
Registered: 04/11/01
Posts: 8,932
Loc: The Netherlands
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
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Quote:
kosmic_charlie said: But seriously, I have so much love to give but sometimes it seems impossible to find someone both worthy and willing to receive it.
same here, looks like this is a common problem
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Requiem
More Better
Registered: 09/22/03
Posts: 642
Loc: Hangin' out on the Sealab
Last seen: 16 years, 10 months
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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: stefan]
#2177301 - 12/14/03 04:22 PM (20 years, 3 months ago) |
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That happened to me once, but she still gave me her number. She still wanted to be friends and hang out, but it was fucking with my head to much. So I don't talk to her anymore. BTW, this happen when I was like 19 and the girl was 17.
-------------------- "I want your Soul. I will eat your soul." -Aphex Twin
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Zwieback0
Baby Bread
Registered: 08/23/02
Posts: 3,473
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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: Requiem]
#2177401 - 12/14/03 05:28 PM (20 years, 3 months ago) |
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It seems like the perfect ones are always taken.
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Hamurabi
the babylonianleader..
Registered: 03/31/02
Posts: 2,421
Loc: Greece
Last seen: 2 years, 7 months
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hey Kosmic_charlie don't get dissapointed!!! Miracles do exist!!! I have left a same situation like yours! When the girl of my story told me that she has a fiance and i got dissapointed like u a few days later i heard that she left the other guy. 2 weeks later we were together.....
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Legoulash
Stranger
Registered: 09/07/02
Posts: 4,347
Last seen: 12 years, 8 months
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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: Hamurabi]
#2177885 - 12/14/03 09:37 PM (20 years, 3 months ago) |
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I got asked out once..
By a fat ugly bitch.. She asked me what i would say if she asked me out.. I said NO..
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kosmic_charlie
Truckin' in style
Registered: 03/18/01
Posts: 5,203
Loc: Deep Elem
Last seen: 2 months, 14 days
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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: justsmurfy]
#2178010 - 12/14/03 10:27 PM (20 years, 3 months ago) |
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Well I haven't really stepped foot in the book store since that day. I've caught a glance of her a few times since then but I'm really just trying my best to get her out of my mind completely. The next day a cute girl came into the store by herself and asked me if we sold beaded car seat covers. I told her we didn't and couldn't really suggest a place that does. A little later I was walking around the mall on break and I saw her again. I took a deep breath and went over to her and asked if she found that car seat cover yet, which she hadn't. I then asked her if she was shopping for her boyfriend. That probably sounded incredibly stupid but I was hoping she would take the bait and say "I don't have a boyfriend," which would make it much easier for me to ask for her phone number. Or maybe something like "Actually I'm shopping for my fiance," lol, which would save me some embarassment that I knew all too well. But instead she replied with a very ambiguous "I'm kinda shopping for everybody." I made a little more small talk with her but never asked for her number. I should have because I knew I'd never see her again but I guess I just didn't want to face two rejections in two days. So we said our goodbyes and that was it. I know, I messed that one up. I'm just no good at this. Unless she falls from the sky into my arms, I really don't see anything happening. Okay now I'm just being plain negative.
Quote:
I often wonder if women really understand how hard it is to approach some one. How many of you have had a woman approach you? If it's so easy and they're so liberated, why don't they do it more often?
Exactly! Girls, especially the cute ones, don't know how easy they have it. They expect guys to be able to just come up and talk to them and work through all these intricacies involved in a two way conversation to successfuly win a date or phone number from them. And they think guys that have trouble doing this don't have any balls.
-------------------- Goin' where the water tastes like wine.
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Ori
intoxicated
Registered: 09/17/02
Posts: 1,883
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Quote:
kosmic_charlie said: Yeah that crossed my mind. I never really did look to see if she had a ring after she told me that. Afterwards, I thought maybe I should have said something half jokingly like "Well come on it's not like you're married or anything." But if she made that up about being engaged and is gonna play games like that, then it's her problem because she's missing out on a good thing. I'll have no part in that.
exactly the attitude i have about rejection/etc though even though i have an easy going attitude towards rejection, its the first step that makes me nervous, not being rejected but just feeling pure awkward, i just dont have the confidence i guess good to see you finally got the courage though
"The husband does seem really pathetic though and I don't think she and her husband are even sleeping together any more but they still live together. " really sad to here that, i feel bad for the man
girl i used to like is currently talking to me after her fiance broke up with her and is dating like some 15 yr old.. shes still completely totally and insanely nuts about him though, so i dont really wanna have any part of that
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justsmurfy
little bluetwerp
Registered: 09/09/03
Posts: 68
Last seen: 19 years, 11 months
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This is how I often feel after approaching a woman- right idea, wrong situation, no clue why I didn't know before hand... And sometimes a woman seems to think I'm hitting on her when all I'm interested in is chatting and killing some time. I get pretty irked by being missinterperted like that, I always wonder what I did that made them think that was my goal.
Kudos on having the gonads to try again, that's a sign of resilience if you ask me. I guess I just keep telling myself that they have no idea how hard it is to talk to them, which ties into my being irked when I just want to chat, because then it's much easier. Go figure.
-JustSmurfy
-------------------- Unsuitable for Human Consumption
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ninetynine
puke boy skeleton face
Registered: 12/04/02
Posts: 928
Loc: no hands land, az
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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: stefan]
#2184138 - 12/16/03 10:22 PM (20 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
stefan said:
Quote:
kosmic_charlie said: But seriously, I have so much love to give but sometimes it seems impossible to find someone both worthy and willing to receive it.
same here, looks like this is a common problem
you can put me in that boat too.
ever notice how your IQ drops about 50 points the second you try to talk to someone you like? i'm shy as it is, but put me in a room with a girl i have a crush on and i turn into the village idiot. i fucking hate it.
-------------------- 2,5-dimethoxy-4-astatophenethylamine
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kosmic_charlie
Truckin' in style
Registered: 03/18/01
Posts: 5,203
Loc: Deep Elem
Last seen: 2 months, 14 days
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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: ninetynine]
#2184152 - 12/16/03 10:29 PM (20 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
ever notice how your IQ drops about 50 points the second you try to talk to someone you like? i'm shy as it is, but put me in a room with a girl i have a crush on and i turn into the village idiot
So true.
-------------------- Goin' where the water tastes like wine.
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notapillow
I want to be a fisherman
Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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that is true^^^
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caolite
Ambient Drone
Registered: 09/28/03
Posts: 276
Loc: Second star on the right.
Last seen: 19 years, 9 months
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Quote:
Exactly! Girls, especially the cute ones, don't know how easy they have it. They expect guys to be able to just come up and talk to them and work through all these intricacies involved in a two way conversation to successfuly win a date or phone number from them. And they think guys that have trouble doing this don't have any balls.
I often wonder if maybe being good looking is kind of difficult, I mean a girl might see guys she likes all the time and just can't get enough courage to ask them, and the guys are like wow shes way too cute no way I can even approach her.
Or what if someone is actually quite good looking, but they have really low self-esteem so they don't know that they even are good looking and as a result never approach anyone, and everyone thinks they are unapproachable as well, kind of sad if this were ever the case.
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Sheepish
Registered: 04/02/02
Posts: 10,137
Loc: Exile
Last seen: 5 years, 10 months
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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: caolite]
#2184569 - 12/17/03 02:38 AM (20 years, 3 months ago) |
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Sometimes I think about how many girls out there that you probably have no idea like you, and vice versa. Trouble is most of us are too shy to do anything about it. Thing is, I assume everyone hates me first before thinking "Wow, she likes me!".
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Sirus
Trance Master
Registered: 12/15/03
Posts: 7
Last seen: 20 years, 2 months
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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: Sheepish]
#2184605 - 12/17/03 03:00 AM (20 years, 3 months ago) |
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same here lol, its the best way to go that way you havenothing to lose because your just being casual and you can get a better feel whether she likes you or not
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SkorpivoMusterion
Livin in theTwilight Zone...
Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 9,954
Loc: You can't spell fungus wi...
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If I were you, I would just use the friendly humorous-buddy cool technique before i EVER even think of hittin em up for something deeper...going straight for the kill is just NOT how to do it in MY book...I take TIME..and just LET it happen, I dont force anything, or tempt fate in any way. So basically I just approach them as any cool ol' close buddy, just like anybody else, and be good ol fashioned self that I am...and see how it goes from there....not only does this type of approach makes it more relaxed and casual, but gives you more time to gauge what kinda person she is and see if you really like her or not. And its not like I do this "on purpose", this just comes naturally, because to ME, it's common sense to not go around hitting up women asking for phone numbers the FIRST damn thing...that works in movies, but in real life,? eh, sure you may get a number occasionally...but c'mon...even experienced people will tell you to take it slow and make sure she's what you're looking for..Remember..."Only fools rush in". Unless they happen to be REALLY into them already, having total strangers ask em for personal info in the first line is just too obvious that they're just in it for the "Game". Real-honest-to-god relationships take REAL time. Strike up a FRIENDSHIP with the girl first...and then see how things go from there.... =)
-------------------- Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.
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Bhairabas
Stranger
Registered: 07/21/03
Posts: 889
Loc: Toronto Canada
Last seen: 18 years, 1 month
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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: Zwieback0]
#2185519 - 12/17/03 02:37 PM (20 years, 3 months ago) |
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The way I approach the whole girly situation is I do not bring any expectations into the scenario.. Talk to them get to know them.. Then ask for there number's once you at least no each other by name and have gotten to know each other.. Expecting to get some girls number the first time you talked to her will either just get you slutty chicks or turned down.. Just be patient..
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Sheepish
Registered: 04/02/02
Posts: 10,137
Loc: Exile
Last seen: 5 years, 10 months
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The one trouble with that technique is that you most likely end up in the friendship zone - you know "I like you, but I think we're better as friends".
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Bhairabas
Stranger
Registered: 07/21/03
Posts: 889
Loc: Toronto Canada
Last seen: 18 years, 1 month
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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: Bhairabas]
#2185873 - 12/17/03 05:15 PM (20 years, 3 months ago) |
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Yeah..The best time to go ask a girl out is when you your just getting to know them.. But the key is you at least need to get their names and hold a few conversation's before you go and ask for their number..
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kosmic_charlie
Truckin' in style
Registered: 03/18/01
Posts: 5,203
Loc: Deep Elem
Last seen: 2 months, 14 days
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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: Sheepish]
#2185891 - 12/17/03 05:22 PM (20 years, 3 months ago) |
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Exactly Sheepish. Sometimes you gotta cut right to the chase and grab the bull by the horns. It shows confidence that a lot of girls admire and are are turned on by. Girls like a guy that knows what he wants and will do what he can to get it. And asking for a phone number isn't like asking for sex.
Quote:
going straight for the kill is just NOT how to do it in MY book...I take TIME..and just LET it happen, I dont force anything, or tempt fate in any way.
I just don't see what I did as going straight for the kill. Going straight for the kill would have involved something like "Hi my name is kosmic_charlie and I work next door at -------, so do you wanna fuck?" You also have to go back to my original post and try to better understand the circumstances. This girl is constantly surrounded by co-workers and nagging Christmas shoppers. It's not like I could have gotten to know her a little more each day. It was damn near impossible for her to give me that minute of her time simply because she was busy doing a million tasks at once like always. So I didn't feel like I was being that unreasonable saying "Hey, I'd really enjoy talking to you some more but we're both always so busy at our jobs that it's so difficult. Why don't I give you a call some time and we can continue this conversation?" I agree that lots of times it is better to gradually get to know the girl before asking for a date or a number but you have to look at the circumstances of each situation.
-------------------- Goin' where the water tastes like wine.
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justsmurfy
little bluetwerp
Registered: 09/09/03
Posts: 68
Last seen: 19 years, 11 months
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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: ninetynine]
#2185958 - 12/17/03 05:50 PM (20 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
ever notice how your IQ drops about 50 points the second you try to talk to someone you like? i'm shy as it is, but put me in a room with a girl i have a crush on and i turn into the village idiot. i fucking hate it.
Yeah, exactly. I tend to get that way arround women I'm attracted to, not just the ones I have a crush on. Too many possibilities, maybe.
-JustSmurfy
-------------------- Unsuitable for Human Consumption
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DoctorJ
Registered: 06/30/03
Posts: 8,846
Loc: space
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: justsmurfy] 1
#2186039 - 12/17/03 06:27 PM (20 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
justsmurfy said: I often wonder if women really understand how hard it is to approach some one. How many of you have had a woman approach you? If it's so easy and they're so liberated, why don't they do it more often? Why wait for the guy to initiate a relationship? My guess is that they find it as hard to come up with the courage as we do, but enjoy the benefits of having the male expected to have the balls to do something about it. Yeah, maybe I'm a bit bitter about being in a situation where I'm forced to approach women and deal with the strong possibility of rejection (both nerve wracking), but what ticks me off is that women act like it's an easy thing to do, or if you don't do it well, that you're a jackass. Rrrrrrr. Hypocrisy. .
Yeah, once I was talking to this girl on a date. I asked her if she liked me before I asked her out and she said yes. Then i asked her why she didn't ask me out, if she liked me then. She said: "Thats a guy's job."
So I was like, "But isnt saying 'Asking girls out is a guy's job' a little like saying, 'Cooking, cleaning, and raising children is a woman's job'?"
After that, the conversation took a decidedly negative turn, as she had no good answer to my question. There was no second date, and I never got any.
After that, I decided not to talk to chicks about stuff like that anymore.
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TheDude
is waiting forthe peak
Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 2,876
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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: DoctorJ]
#2186228 - 12/17/03 07:27 PM (20 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
DoctorJ said: Yeah, once I was talking to this girl on a date. I asked her if she liked me before I asked her out and she said yes. Then i asked her why she didn't ask me out, if she liked me then. She said: "Thats a guy's job."
So I was like, "But isnt saying 'Asking girls out is a guy's job' a little like saying, 'Cooking, cleaning, and raising children is a woman's job'?"
After that, the conversation took a decidedly negative turn, as she had no good answer to my question. There was no second date, and I never got any.
After that, I decided not to talk to chicks about stuff like that anymore.
Some things just have to be said though, nice job
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Stonerware
That Guy
Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 172
Loc: East Coast
Last seen: 17 years, 4 months
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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: TheDude]
#2266145 - 01/23/04 03:08 PM (20 years, 1 month ago) |
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Guys... go listen to Tom Leykis on the radio. They play him on the same station that they play Howard Stern on, and Don and Mike. He's on from 7 to 11pm, and he's out there for all the guys that seem to have lost they're balls. No more lonely nights for anybody. When you guys realize women are nothin special, and are there to get bagged then your whole perspective changes. He's not out to help you get a girlfriend or a wife, and neither am I for that matter, but he will sure as hell teach you how to get pussy. Listen to 'em guys. www.blowmeuptom.com
-------------------- "America... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody in the world who tries to makes us uncomfortable." HST
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geokills
∙∙∙∙☼ º¿° ☼∙∙∙∙
Registered: 05/08/01
Posts: 23,544
Loc: city of angels
Last seen: 4 hours, 6 minutes
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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: Stonerware]
#2266732 - 01/23/04 06:37 PM (20 years, 1 month ago) |
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LoL! I was an avid Lykis 101 student for my entire High School career. Well, ok I wasn't a student, as much of what he said would probably piss women off more than set them up to be there for you - but I do get your point in that he is simply about the tang and not the sweet water it's mixed with He has a funny program, though I've stopped listening to him for the past three years since I don't live in broadcast range anymore. In Los Angeles he's on from 3pm-7pm on 97.1fm. It's definitely an entertaining show, but it doesn't quite fit into the theme here me thinks BTW, I'll just simply chime in with "I agree" to many of the statements here. Approaching women sure is a pain, though it gets easier with time. Good luck guys (and me, for that matter)
-------------------- -------------------- ┼ ··∙ long live the shroomery ∙·· ┼ ...╬π╥ ╥π╬...
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Murex
Reality Hacker
Registered: 07/28/02
Posts: 3,599
Loc: Traped in a shell.
Last seen: 16 years, 6 months
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The ones I really like I can't talk to. I did that once and stuttered like a fool.
One time thow, I went streight up to a girl I just saw and asked her what she was doing, she said- "I'm waiting for my boyfriend".
I'll never find a girl. There is so much work to finding one that I gave up long ago. I hope it all just finds me at some point in time.
So many girls are stuck-up or psycho. They all seem to be so shallow yet think so highly of themselves. I treat hot girls just the same as anyone else- Because they EXPECT me to treat them better, I just shove it back in their faces.
Maybe it's a sub-contious thing, but in a way, I treat hot girls worse than 'normal' girls. It's wierd.
-------------------- What if everything around you Isn't quite as it seems? What if all the world you think you know, Is an elaborate dream? And if you look at your reflection, Is it all you want it to be?
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Xibalba
Stranger
Registered: 05/13/00
Posts: 2,114
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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: Stonerware]
#2269069 - 01/24/04 06:58 PM (20 years, 1 month ago) |
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Edited by Xibalba (09/29/05 11:06 PM)
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RuNE
bomberman
Registered: 09/23/00
Posts: 2,331
Loc: tartarus
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
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Lots of ideas tossed around...gonna reply to a few.
First of, good going man. You're one of the 100 guys that actualy have the balls to go up and talk to her. They say its not about how many times you get knocked down, its how fast you get up. You really should have asked that second girl. Its so damn hard, but the faster you get used to rejection the faster you find the girl that's right for you.
Some of you were talking how easy it is for girls, why dont they ask YOU out. Well, no offense dude, but how bout you jump in their shoes for a change? The girl KNOWS she's cute. She's gonna go with the best thing she could get. Be that by personality AND looks. WTF kinda man are you if you cant even go up to and talk to her? You're already off her list if you're scared of her. No girl wants a 'scaredy cat'. You have to be something she really wants if you want HER to be asking you out.
Xibalba: I know exactly what you're talking about. I've read some 'player' books/sites too. They do get the pussy, but a lot of the people who follow those guides are just that. Followers. Eventualy it'll bite them in the ass.
The key, is to work on YOURSELF. Have goals, have dreams, have ambition. Dont be a fuckin pothead loser that gets stoned and sits on his ass all day playing video games and eating chips, expecting girls to jump on you. I mean sure you can do that if you like, but you will not make any girl happy. Once again, put yourself in any girl's shoes. Imagine your gf did that....lay there playing video games getting fat eating greasy foods, being all nasty. Would YOU want her? Make yourself look presentable. Get used to exercise, eat healthy, learn about anything interesting (hey this site is a good start! ), just.... i mean be IMPRESSIVE. You do this, and girls will radiate torwards YOU. The 'players' get girls because girls go for jerks cuz they mistake their personalities for confidence. Players are just jerks with moves who know how to play the game. You want to get a girl and keep her, you need confidence, and you need a good positive personality. Treat her good. If she tries to walk all over you, you can just tell her you're not looking for that, and you can leave. She probably wont wanna let you go after something like that. But anyway, someone once told me that 'real men' are men like the character Maximus from Gladiator. He's passionate yet he has a strong will. Just have some will, and you shall get the girl. The longer it takes you to learn to stop being a wuss, the longer it will be before you find your future wife/long term gf. Girls are just human too you know. They need our love like we need theirs. (well....unless youre gay. haha!)
-------------------- ~Happy sailing~
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Ripple
Ripple
Registered: 05/16/02
Posts: 21,014
Loc: the timbers of Fennario
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The only girl I approach is my wife and I still don't know what works???
-------------------- The bus came by and I got on that's when it all began!
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RuNE
bomberman
Registered: 09/23/00
Posts: 2,331
Loc: tartarus
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: Ripple]
#2271816 - 01/25/04 02:04 PM (20 years, 1 month ago) |
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Once you're in a long term relationship, the best book i've read on the subject is 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus'. It's a really famous book, and i think i've already recommended it a few times before on the boards.
The book is for both men and women. In fact, both of you -should- read it for it to have a real impact. Its very informative, and more importantly it WORKS. Take it from my experience, i've used ideas presented in this book in my 3 year relationship and it really does work. Less arguments, less resentment, more trust, and such other things you'll get if you read this book, and actualy make use of it. (i've already read it twice, i need to read it again, its just so much stuff to jam in at once!) Both of you will be laughing while reading it because you realise as you read all the dumb mistakes (and misconseptions) you've made in past arguments, and how futile and pointless they were. I can honestly say i feel older after reading this book. In fact, while the book was still fresh in memory, i remember chuckling at couples on the bus who were arguing, because i could totaly pick apart the whole argument, and understand how both of them were going at it so wrong.
Anyway, bottom line, its a good book. Take it or leave it.
-------------------- ~Happy sailing~
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Drummer
CelestialMechanic
Registered: 08/15/00
Posts: 708
Loc: SE Michigan
Last seen: 10 months, 20 days
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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: Ripple]
#2272101 - 01/25/04 03:42 PM (20 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Ripple said: The only girl I approach is my wife and I still don't know what works???
My girl is kind of like Michigan weather, you never know what the day will bring or what she is going to be like 2 hours later. She tolerates me and puts up with my shit, that in itself is a miracle so I will try to keep her around as long as she will stay.
Just stay confident Kosmic and keep your ego in check. The right one will come to you or meet you halfway.
-------------------- People don't want other people to get high, because if you get high, you might see the falsity of the fabric of the society we live in. -Ken Kesey
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Psilocybeingzz
Registered: 12/15/02
Posts: 14,463
Loc: International waters
Last seen: 11 years, 4 months
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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: Xibalba]
#2272314 - 01/25/04 05:24 PM (20 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
The most slimy superficial pigheaded chauvinistic sons of bitches cynically peddling a bunch of cheap mind games, fake personalities and selfish macho attitudes to losers with no self-respect so they can trick sluts with even less self-respect into having meaningless sex with them. I'd like to think it's all made-up bullshit, but the sad thing is that I know in my heart they're right. That's really how it works. It's how society is set up, they really do have the rules of the game figured out.
And I'll have no part of it. Yes, I'm a true playerhater and it's not because I'm jealous. I don't hate the players because they're having sex and I'm not, I hate them because they are phony assholes. And as for the dumb shallow bitches who reward them for it with a neverending supply of blowjobs? Fuck them. No, really, go right ahead, I'm sure as hell not going to. Not if they paid me.
I feel the same way!
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Anonymous
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I've never hit on a girl before. I probably never will. I'm absolutely terrified of girls. And I'm a freak that would get laughed at. I've only been hit on once and that was by a guy.
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Psilocybeingzz
Registered: 12/15/02
Posts: 14,463
Loc: International waters
Last seen: 11 years, 4 months
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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: ]
#2272680 - 01/25/04 07:52 PM (20 years, 1 month ago) |
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I have been hit on by guys before, in fact my buddies call me.....dont laugh, the "fag magnet", cuase gay men hit on me most of all.
It really does suck!
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fung_us_among_us
Registered: 12/08/02
Posts: 6,906
Loc: Central Oregon
Last seen: 1 month, 8 days
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...
Edited by fung_us_among_us (10/15/10 07:19 PM)
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Phluck
Carpal Tunnel
Registered: 04/10/99
Posts: 11,394
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 4 months, 25 days
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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: Murex]
#2272847 - 01/25/04 09:05 PM (20 years, 1 month ago) |
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"Maybe it's a sub-contious thing, but in a way, I treat hot girls worse than 'normal' girls. It's wierd."
Resentment stemming from sexual frustration.
-------------------- "I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson http://phluck.is-after.us
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TODAY
Battletoad
Registered: 09/25/03
Posts: 10,218
Loc: Metropolis City, USA
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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: Phluck]
#2273134 - 01/25/04 10:38 PM (20 years, 1 month ago) |
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i'm good at talking to ugly girls for some reason.
-------------------- ca'rouse (k-rouz) intr.v. To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.
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Frog
Warrior
Registered: 10/22/03
Posts: 4,284
Loc: The Zero Point Field
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: justsmurfy]
#2273447 - 01/26/04 12:47 AM (20 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
justsmurfy said: I often wonder if women really understand how hard it is to approach some one. How many of you have had a woman approach you? If it's so easy and they're so liberated, why don't they do it more often? Why wait for the guy to initiate a relationship? My guess is that they find it as hard to come up with the courage as we do, but enjoy the benefits of having the male expected to have the balls to do something about it. Yeah, maybe I'm a bit bitter about being in a situation where I'm forced to approach women and deal with the strong possibility of rejection (both nerve wracking), but what ticks me off is that women act like it's an easy thing to do, or if you don't do it well, that you're a jackass. Rrrrrrr. Hypocrisy. Where the hell's spell check when I need it? I hope it's coming back.
-JustSmurfy
I was rejected once. That was enough for me, I guess, because I never tried picking up on a guy again after that. I guess it's a self-esteem issue.
I appreciate what you guys go through to try to date a girl in whom you are interested. I agree that us girls should try to do what you do more often. We'd probably appreciate you better.
-------------------- The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire. -Teilard
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LeViTY
I missed theark.
Registered: 10/10/02
Posts: 1,988
Loc: CA
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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: Frog]
#2273480 - 01/26/04 01:04 AM (20 years, 1 month ago) |
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I have never hit on a guy. It's too scary. But it's really cool when a guy has the courage to talk to a girl, because I know I couldn't do it.
I'm glad I'm not a guy, hehe.
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stefan
work in progress
Registered: 04/11/01
Posts: 8,932
Loc: The Netherlands
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: LeViTY]
#2273820 - 01/26/04 04:42 AM (20 years, 1 month ago) |
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I talk about this with girls sometimes about why does the man always has to do al the moves. And I ask them why they don't approach guys they really like. NO WAY, way to scary! is almost always the answer. And they agree that it isn't fair that man always have to approach girls but at the same tiome they're very happy they don't have to do it. seems like man just have a little more balls to go gor it although it's still scary damnit
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TODAY
Battletoad
Registered: 09/25/03
Posts: 10,218
Loc: Metropolis City, USA
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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: stefan]
#2274581 - 01/26/04 11:58 AM (20 years, 1 month ago) |
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i think i must be one of those really hot guys but just don't know it...its the only logical explanation of why i don't get any girls...they must be afraid of how sexy i am .
-------------------- ca'rouse (k-rouz) intr.v. To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.
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Murex
Reality Hacker
Registered: 07/28/02
Posts: 3,599
Loc: Traped in a shell.
Last seen: 16 years, 6 months
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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: TODAY]
#2275793 - 01/26/04 08:24 PM (20 years, 1 month ago) |
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Just keep telling yourself that....
-------------------- What if everything around you Isn't quite as it seems? What if all the world you think you know, Is an elaborate dream? And if you look at your reflection, Is it all you want it to be?
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justsmurfy
little bluetwerp
Registered: 09/09/03
Posts: 68
Last seen: 19 years, 11 months
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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: Frog]
#2283550 - 01/29/04 10:50 AM (20 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Frog said: I was rejected once. That was enough for me, I guess, because I never tried picking up on a guy again after that. I guess it's a self-esteem issue.
I appreciate what you guys go through to try to date a girl in whom you are interested. I agree that us girls should try to do what you do more often. We'd probably appreciate you better.
Dang, if that's you in your avatar, it's hard to believe you got nuked!
I've had some female friends talk about trying to get a guy to ask them out and make them think it was their idea. What's your take on that? It sounds pretty frustrating to me.
-JustSmurfy
-------------------- Unsuitable for Human Consumption
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kushlover
stringcheesehead
Registered: 07/17/01
Posts: 803
Loc: USA
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: justsmurfy]
#2283988 - 01/29/04 12:55 PM (20 years, 1 month ago) |
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This thread really hits home for me. I was in a long term relationship till about a year ago. Since, I've been trying to fill the void I now feel from the lack of close companionship. Much to my dismay I'm having the same problems as described here. It is comforting to know I'm not alone.
Wise man once said, "If I was only castrated, I'd quit banging my head on the wall".
I guess the key is to be happy with what you've got. Despite feeling empty in places without the ex. I do have new freedoms I missed when I was with her.
-------------------- What I'm about to tell you is the truth....... What I just told you is a lie.
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Ripple
Ripple
Registered: 05/16/02
Posts: 21,014
Loc: the timbers of Fennario
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dude.....i stalked my women for a year.....now were married for over 20 years!
-------------------- The bus came by and I got on that's when it all began!
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Requiem
More Better
Registered: 09/22/03
Posts: 642
Loc: Hangin' out on the Sealab
Last seen: 16 years, 10 months
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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: Ripple]
#2284580 - 01/29/04 03:58 PM (20 years, 1 month ago) |
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The girl I have a crush on has a boyfriend. So I'm SOL.
-------------------- "I want your Soul. I will eat your soul." -Aphex Twin
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ricyjo
Registered: 07/22/02
Posts: 1,516
Loc: -53.121600, 73.763943
Last seen: 25 days, 15 hours
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Re: Approaching Girls [Re: Requiem]
#4100452 - 04/26/05 08:22 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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I just saved this thread from eternal hell...
or at least the shroomery archives...
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afoaf
CEO DBK?
Registered: 11/08/02
Posts: 32,665
Loc: Ripple's Heart
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well, could have been worse.
do better research next time.
what, no ring!?
-------------------- All I know is The Growery is a place where losers who get banned here go.
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