ChexMix said:

How does one follow their heart if they are burdened by fear and anxiety?

That fear is felt in my chest, is that a sign that I should avoid whatever it is I'm concerned with?

How does one draw a line between what is to be accepted by others and what is crossing the line? Regarding things like shit-talking I mean.

---

First I'd like to say this kind of query will get many responses. However don't forget it's going to likely be a case of the blind trying to lead the blind. I don't know anyone who isn't burdened by fear and anxiety to some degree and I've met a fuck of a lot of really strong people in my 61 years on this moldy rock. So it's just a matter of degree or how well you can cover it up so other folk think you don't have it. So it's likely you'll be only hearing advice from people who have not been successful in dealing with their own fear and anxiety. I certainly have plenty of it.

In other words it's the human condition.  I think feeling fear in a safe setting can be helpful but it's no cure imo. 

And beyond that we might not really be consciously in charge of much in our own lives. This would make the question moot if true.  It's best to be open to all the possibilities imo.  Then hope for the best but BE PREPARED FOR THE WORST.

ChexMix said:

How does one follow their heart if they are burdened by fear and anxiety?

That fear is felt in my chest, is that a sign that I should avoid whatever it is I'm concerned with?

---

ChexMix said:

How does one draw a line between what is to be accepted by others and what is crossing the line? Regarding things like shit-talking I mean.

---

ChexMix said:

How does one follow their heart if they are burdened by fear and anxiety?

---

First go away and clear the mind, deal with the anxiety (dance, sports, fuck, trip, massage, sleep, go away into nature for a week or more) and then on a clear system, go with the flow and follow your heart

Quote:

That fear is felt in my chest, is that a sign that I should avoid whatever it is I'm concerned with?

---

On the contrary, it's a sign that you should stop avoiding it, and actually start looking at it, put some PROPER attention to it, analyze more in-depth, ask more and smarter questions about it, see how others have successfully dealt with it and learn from them (if their method also feels to you).

In nature, fear is first and foremost an indicator of where danger might lie in wait. It's not there to avoid, in sense of avoiding the problem. It's there to sharpen your senses, to actually focus in and get more info, know precisely, what kind of animal is there, how big, how fast, how dangerous, and once you know the nature of the threat, the fear provides ample motivation to move decisively on some trajectory that's way better for you, far more survivable, also more enjoyable, as there's less fear there.

So that's the order of things:
- Analyze the source of the fear, get as much accurate data on it as you need to make smart decisions
- CHoose a trajectory that moves away from it (either geographically, or a change in your beliefs and definitions, or expectations, or learn new skills)
- MOVE on that trajectory. Don't dwell, don't wait, MOVE!

Quote:

How does one draw a line between what is to be accepted by others and what is crossing the line? Regarding things like shit-talking I mean.

---

If you're a boy, look and ask externally for guidance from others, read in books, articles, get logical arguments, let the external world tell you where your boundaries are, and negotiate around those.

If you're a man already, look inwards, as yourself where you want your true boundaries to be, plant a flag there and signal clearly, with zero doubt, that that right there is my boundary, my territory. Those that fuck with it get their asses swiftly handed to them, no exceptions. If they start fucking with them or ask for reasons and explanations, explain you're inflexible on this, you need no reasons, you've thought about it and those are really your boundaries, as chosen by you, after some deep introspection.

If they fuck with them, warn them once, if they fuck with them again, unleash and hand their asses to them.

If those really are your boundaries, you should have enough ways to hand their asses to them, that they'd actually be very well motivated to not fuck with you again. If you lack the ways to hand said ass to ass owner, then that's not really your boundary, you just thought and wished it was

Simply clarify your preferences. What you are OK and not OK with, and make that clear to yourself first. As soon as you know where the line is, things become much simpler, you can see who's working with and against you, etc. Most problems arise when you yourself don't know, and so are trying to control things that are way, way outside your boundary area.

Quote:

In nature, fear is first and foremost an indicator of where danger might lie in wait. It's not there to avoid, in sense of avoiding the problem. It's there to sharpen your senses, to actually focus in and get more info, know precisely, what kind of animal is there, how big, how fast, how dangerous, and once you know the nature of the threat, the fear provides ample motivation to move decisively on some trajectory that's way better for you, far more survivable, also more enjoyable, as there's less fear there.

---