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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > The Psychedelic Experience
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Haunted by first experience
    #2049484 -

Hi,

In july i had my first shroom experience and i was an idiot. I consumed around 5 grams of dried P. Subs (an aussie vairety which if my memory serves me correctly is about twice as potent as P. Cubensis). Needless to say, this experience really messed me up. Luckily it wasn't frightening in a normal sense (ie no crazy scorpions attacking me), just everything confused me incredibly, i was unable to hold a thought and the world kept changing in wierd ways (ie my legs disappeared - not that they felt a part of me anyway). So basically it was a really really strong trip and has stayed with me (even though it was 4 months ago).

Since then I have been feeling a little 'off colour'. I have been able to function perfectly in my life, to everyone else I am completely normal. However there lurks a sort of dark cloud of self doubt that wasn't there before. Watching 'A Beautiful Mind' last month scared the bejesus out of me - i sort of have an illogical fear of some latent schizophrenia (which clearly does not exist).

More worrying is that on two occasions, most recently 2 weeks ago, i have had dreams where everything has been normal (well as far as dreams are ever normal) and all of a sudden I begin to trip again. Its not a fun trip, colours begin to swirl and all of a sudden I am sure I am schizophrenic and thats the way I'll remain forever. This is a very scary dream!

What I am thinking now though is that its all sort of over reaction, an almost hypercondriac sort of reaction (ie I thought that the trip should fuck with me, so now it is - or like you read about some new disease and think 'i've got that', when clearly you dont). The other problem with this feeling is that it is illogical, but sort of feeds off itself (ie is writing this making me feel better, or is acknowledging the problem actually making it worse?).

Its not something that effects my life at all really, its just a sort of niggling thing I think about occasionally.

I was just wondering if anyone has also felt something like this after an intense trip (especially the dreams and stuff)? How long did it last?

Cheers!




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Re: Haunted by first experience [Re: tezza]
    #2049561 -

You will probably never be the same again. Once you've been out there, it is difficult to see the world like you once did - unless you are one of the few that maintain their fresh child eyes into adult years. The doors are wide open. Your nightmares will mostly likely fade in due time, however.

I recommend learning and experiencing spiritual techniques and teachings that will guide you - particularly from those cultures that have a long, time-tested history with entheogens and/or various altered states (i.e. Huave Indians, Shipibo, Huichol, Mazatec, Indian yogis, Siberian shamans, buddhists, the Bwiti, etc. etc.). These people are quite experienced at dissolving boundaries and have useful methods of dealing with the implications and outcomes of such experiences. Look into them and learn their models of reality.

Find your peace - that will conquer your egofear of insanity. Now that you have been broken down, build yourself up. Breathe, smile, notice, make love, quiet, sleep, relax, connect, learn :heart:

If you learn peace now, you will be on your path to ecstacy and beyond. good luck brother - we're all on different paths now, but we'll join up at the top of the mountain soon enough. Let go and let your fear melt away.


--------------------
As we know, there are known knowns. There are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns. That is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns, the ones we don't know we don't know.

-Donald Rumsfeld 2/2/02 Pentagon

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Re: Haunted by first experience [Re: Xochitl]
    #2049569 -

You gonna be fine mang.

Chill out bruh :stoned:


--------------------
Fold for The Shroomery!

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Re: Haunted by first experience [Re: daba]
    #2049666 -

I have been is the same state as you for a few weeks after my first trip. My dreams not only became more lucid, but they confronted all of my senses. In other words, I have had dreams that are not visual and auditorial, but I can feel myself falling or smell a familiar smell. I say give it more time until drawing any conclusions. If you still feel uncomfortable, you can always talk to a professional psychiatrist or just chat to people on Support Groups Central. Trust me..there are people here with much bigger problems than that and Im sure there is even somebody who is experiencing the same thoughts that you are. Just know that there is nothing physically altered in your mind...its just you have experienced an event that was so intense, that it will never be forgotten. Your first trip is like your first kiss. Youll always remember where and when and what you were feeling at the time. I think in your case since you jumped into the world of shrooms so fast with a pretty high dose, that feeling might linger for a little bit longer.

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Re: Haunted by first experience [Re: orizon]
    #2049807 -

tezza - 5g of subs is a huuge first dose lol. the most i've had of them has been 4 and that was the most intense trip i've had on mushrooms. I agree with Xochitl, once you've had a psychedelic experience such as you obviously did, there are some doors in your mind that have been opened which cannot be shut..

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Re: Haunted by first experience [Re: Mothershabooboo]
    #2050060 -

whoa, dude, yeah!!! I had a dream like a week after tripping that I got carjacked, and I stole the guy's gun, but he had another one, so I stole that one, and I could feel the hard, cold steel in my hands. I was pointing the guns like I was Neo or some shit, and I could 100% honest to god feel the guns in my hands. Then I woke up.

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Re: Haunted by first experience [Re: tezza]
    #2051301 -

Quote:
In july i had my first shroom experience and i was an idiot.  I consumed around 5 grams of dried P. Subs (an aussie vairety which if my memory serves me correctly is about twice as potent as P. Cubensis). 


Damn, talk about a tramatic experience.

Give it time, after a crazy trip its not unusual to think like that. I had two crazy experiences that wouldn't leave my mind. One was that I was crazy and didnt even realize it and there was nothing I could do and the other was that I had actually died and to cope with death my mind/spirit was creating the world around me.... See you're not alone :tongue2:

Anyways I had dreams that I was dead for afew weeks/months and it went away. As far as the crazy thing I just got over it with time. Both times, like yours, were from me being stupid.

Chillout and just live your life. You *know* you're not crazy so just get over it... Either that or you can look at it this way, if you are crazy then theres nothing you can do about it :ooo: j/k! Goodluck! 


--------------------
Ecstacy Rising - Peter Jennings ABC Special

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Re: Haunted by first experience [Re: StrongBad]
    #2051341 -

yep Daba's got the right idea. you need to chill .
say a few oms. seriously.
http://www.dharma-haven.org/tibetan/meaning-of-om-mani-padme-hung.htm


--------------------
"Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff."
Steven Wright.

Some say the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half full, I say, are you going to drink that?

"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets."

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Re: Haunted by first experience [Re: Suby]
    #2051514 -

You'll be fine.


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No question is so difficult to answer as that to which the answer is obvious.

Meow.

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Re: Haunted by first experience [Re: MycoCat]
    #2051725 -

its nothing compared to 10 dried grams, but my salvia 15x experience definitely permeated my dreams for a while, and my mushroom trips too. The bad stuff fades with time, the lesson remains, don't fret.


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_______________________________________________________________
namaste said:
no flamz in da ODD, if you got nothing to contribute then keep yo lips zipped
_________________________________________________________________

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Re: Haunted by first experience [Re: Noviseer]
    #2053638 -

Yeah this is all true... I had a bad trip with 2 mushroom chocolates, 8 HBWR seeds, and 2.6g Rue. Wow, now THATS a fucking bad trip. It stuck with me for about 3 months, and it fades with time, I'm fine now and this experience was on June 13th 2003. (I remember the date - it was SUCH a huge event in my life)


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Re: Haunted by first experience [Re: the free thinker]
    #2054192 -

Damn... I experienced something of the same irrational fear after watching "Requiem for a Dream" not too long ago. The fear of spiraling out of control into schizophrenia or whatnot is something any drug user imagines, I think.

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Re: Haunted by first experience [Re: the free thinker]
    #2054333 -

Polydrug abuse is no p fun. You took 3 different compounds of three different drugs and tried to invent something new. Primitive man learned these drugs 5,000 to 10,000 years ago. One the woodrose seeds if not cleaned properly will tear your stomach up. Mixing shrooms and syrian rue is not the same as mixing DMT and harmaline/harmine as in Yage, ayahuasca and/or caapi.
You could have killed yourself.

Who teaches people to do these crazy admixtures?

mj

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Re: Haunted by first experience [Re: tezza]
    #2054605 -

tezza said:
In july i had my first shroom experience and i was an idiot. I consumed around 5 grams of dried P. Subs (an aussie vairety which if my memory serves me correctly is about twice as potent as P. Cubensis).



Is that panaeolus subbalteatus or psilocybe subaeruginosa

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Re: Haunted by first experience [Re: zeta]
    #2058147 -

I have two suggestions:

1. Read http://www.psychedelic-library.org/stolarof.htm

2. Take mushrooms again.

After reading the article, I think you will understand why you are feeling the way you are now, and that it is because of information overload. The massive trip you experienced overwhelmed your processing abilities, leaving you confused and uncertain.

If you start small, and take increasingly larger trips over time, you will be able to slowly comprehend what you learn each time and cumulatively piece it together for a greater overall understanding of everything.

This is my educated opinion. Use mushrooms wisely and you will be wiser.

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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > The Psychedelic Experience
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