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Re: Bipolar Disorder [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #20081296 -

however bad you think you have it unless you've been punched in the face/choked multiple times and given permanent scars/ opening old ones and talked down constantly you will never have it as bad as me

sometimes people look accepting just to find out odd details about you

the devil is real! and he sets lots of traps!

pretend you're normal!

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Re: Bipolar Disorder [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #20081306 -

Also i'm easily recognizable by my scars in public so people hate/lust after me

my friend i told you up i feel set me up a couple of times

if I dont get out of here in a few years i'm probably just going to leave for a dangerous job where my life is on the line i dont care anymore

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Re: Bipolar Disorder [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #20082196 -

As I said earlier. I've already planned the date of my death. That isn't something I just said cos of a down period or whatever; I have no wish to live on this planet, and that's irrelevant to my bipolar.

Not only that, I wanted to be able to talk completely FREELY and OPENLY about my psychotic state, wthout getting any judgements from anyone I know. Or even people I don't know, for that matter.

I actually enjoy my manic periods quite a lot. I get so much research done, I'm always so happy, so much energy. Yeah, I don't eat, I don't sleep, I even forget to drink water at times- but I don't mind that, I don't feel the effects of it, and this body is only a temporary vessel anyway.

I don't have any family I can go to. I have a few, very close friends, but that's about it. they know I'm bipolar (well, a couple do, and I presume the others have guessed something) but they don't relate at all, and never will.

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Re: Bipolar Disorder [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #20082932 -

Yeah most wont relate .

In other support groups of course your words require immediate attention. Either by calling 911 - 999 or actual support groups on the phone such as the Samaritans and red cross. Walk in to your local A & E department.

As this is not a cry for help, you are not saying you are killing your self, just that you know when you wish too. I believe you should see your doctor dude.

Feel for you and I do hope you pull thorugh

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Re: Bipolar Disorder [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #20095264 -

"sometimes people look accepting just to find out odd details about you

the devil is real! and he sets lots of traps!

pretend you're normal!"



I fully get that yo. SO many people try that with me. I only open up to fellow crazies, haha. It's pretty easy to pick out the actual ones from the curious.


just remembered a few more details about my psychosis

headbutting walls like crazy. and windows. I can't remember why. I think to try get out, but I knew I couldn't, But for hours and hours and hours. BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG . BANG

Never had black eyes like it. My whole forehead was bruised/cut to fuck.

Lots of running naked around my cell and furious masturbation (but I couldn't orgasm... I'm pretty sure that's why I was doing it)

I just remembered, they moved me to another cell at some point, This one didn't have a toilet, just this weird cardboard bedpan thing. I wore it as a hat and declared I was a pirate (It was like, three pointed), whilst otherwise buttnaked hahahaha. Even at the time I found it fucking hilarious, still do :laugh:

Also when I got it, crazy ass coincidental as fuck shit kept happening. Like, I'd go type someone's number into my phone and just before I hit the green button, they'd call me... Was fucking weird

I was talking to my phones predictive using text for fucking ages thinking I'd taught it consciouness lol, then I realised it had just been recording all my crazy as texts and imitating them back to me.

I had more but now it's gone... damn

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Re: Bipolar Disorder [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #20104478 -

bipolar 1 here. It has been real bad these past few years, but with meditation and control, I have been able to manage my manic/low cycles pretty well. Still can't get myself to fall asleep though when I become manic.

-MushyMatt

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Re: Bipolar Disorder [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #20104823 -

^^^ Sleeplessness ^^^ .. I find that to be one of the hardest things to overcome during low periods .. Feel for you too MushyMatt ..

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Re: Bipolar Disorder [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #20149560 -

I am as well. I was diagnosed at age 20 or 21. Along with drug induced psychosis. I've been hospitalized 2 or 3 times since then. I relate to alot of wjat you were saying. It's really hard. Sometimes I go a while doing good.  Not self medicating and other times shit just falls apart. I spent countless hours up at night with panic attacks fear and loathing anxiety. The past week or two have been rough for me. Mercury in retrograde always seems to affect me even though I'm not sure I believe in it. Proly just coincidence. Alot of people I know are wary of associating with me except real true friends. I've had a few episodes aroubd people and people just don't seem to understand mental illness. I'm 32 and I've done alot. Traveled. Used to go to alot of concerts and festivals. I've been in some really insane predicaments also that I think may have caused ptsd. I wish I could elaborate but I'm actually a bit manic right now and have been up for 2 days. I just drank a beer as I'm trying to taper off. I self medicate a bit. I start doing good without alcohol after a few days but only for so long. My body can't take it the way it used to. And when I go on benders I need to taper off just to ease the physical discomfort as well as mental. But I get palpitations. Chest pain. Real bad bloating. The digestive discomfort is the worst. I always forget how bad it gets. I really don't want to drink this summer away so hope I figure it out.

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Re: Bipolar Disorder [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #20149651 -

I have to laugh now because the people that criticized me have to eat their own words

http://norml.org/news/2012/08/09/study-cannabis-use-associated-with-superior-cognitive-performance-in-bipolar-patients

http://norml.org/news/2010/06/03/marijuana-use-associated-with-higher-functioning-in-schizophrenics-study-says

though i don't smoke regularly

its just something to do the day after i'm wrecked

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Re: Bipolar Disorder [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #20155836 -

Anonymous #7 said:
however bad you think you have it unless you've been punched in the face/choked multiple times and given permanent scars/ opening old ones and talked down constantly you will never have it as bad as me

sometimes people look accepting just to find out odd details about you

the devil is real! and he sets lots of traps!

pretend you're normal!


Anonymous #7 said:
Also i'm easily recognizable by my scars in public so people hate/lust after me

my friend i told you up i feel set me up a couple of times

if I dont get out of here in a few years i'm probably just going to leave for a dangerous job where my life is on the line i dont care anymore



You need to settle down bro. This isent a contest to see whos most fucked in the head hahahahaha ha. Way too funny.

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