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do looks matter? (long post)
    #19532319 -

I've never been one to place much importance on personal appearance. I was never a big fan of grunge, but I think I was being stalked behind the scenes by Kurt Cobain's ghost in middle school since all I ever wore were faded jeans ripped to shreds or t-shirts at least five sizes too big. My hair was in a constant state of entanglement - my tight curls in one huge dread, destroying the hopes of all combs that came close to it. Really, I was a wreck, but somewhere in my mind I convinced myself I was saying a 'fuck you' to everyone around me who placed so much importance on appearance. Somewhere deep inside the scowl I wore on my face, was a little smirk at everyone who I assumed judged me. If someone were to hand me a tube of lipstick I would scoff at it, in a kind of reverse snobbery that did little to help me.

Fast forward fifteen years. It's been a long hard journey of life and I've learned a few things. Now, at the mature age of 29 I decide to play a similar game except in reverse. Having come out of my shell, feeling fearless and a little bored, I fall in love with yet another genre of music - industrial. (I'm only a whore when it comes to music.) Yes, it's a little late in life to devote myself fully to a scene that I only flirted with in the past. But everything came together in such a way that the mechanical throb that pummeled over deep baselines with melodic overtones piercing me from above - I was left helpless. So I dove in headfirst, and discovered something beyond the sound.

It started as a game. In a full effort to follow 17 year old Cybergoth girls from Germany and Mexico, I start to build a new wardrobe. The black liquid enveloped me and I was left dressed in a PVC bra, micro mini skirt, fishnets, and platform boots. I used several different shades of eyeliner, layered on the lipstick, and covered my face in foundation so thick I became plastic. To say the least, I took things to an extreme and looked hot (at least to me) but was still giggling inside. My outfits became more elaborate and revealing as time went on. I created neon shining hair falls, never-ending streams of black and fluorescent that fell past my ass. I adorned myself with black iridescent wings, I super glued horns to my headbands. A demonic god out of a deranged anime, I shamelessy flaunted my ensembles as I made my way out each weekend. Small children pointed as I walked by and I couldn't be happier! Most people thought I was trying too hard to fit in, others thought I was an attention whore, but the guy that assumed I was a gogo dancer just tickled my ego in the right spots. No matter the assumptions, I found the change in reactions towards me hilarious. But after awhile, I got too lost in it. The eyeliner had to be just right. The next fair of cyber hair falls I made had to be bigger! Better! When I left the house without my platform boots I felt lost and a bit too small for my liking. It became an obsession. Each outfit needed to be better than the next. I searched endless the sales racks at every gothic rock or punk boutique for anything black and shiny. Finally, it went too far, and my life imploded. I was left limp and sobbing as I tried to get a good nights sleep in a friendless subway car at 5:30AM, my makeup a mess from the night before.

Where's Siddharta's middle way when you need it? But I had been down that path before, felt my truth, and was lost again.

So I find myself here.

I remember a moment in one of those little punk rock shops where I searched endlessly. I stared into a mirror in a dressing room made of surreal reality and thought of a Nirvana video I saw as a child. It terrified me at the time. All I remember is a woman jumping towards a tree, desperate for a fruit she couldn't reach. Was it even a real memory? Did I see it on a screen, or did my fears project my future?

I felt death there, in that small red dressing room, the red room for those playing out their parts on a stage never ending until you can finally feel death's bullet shot right through the eye. Where was that fear now? I faced it, I invited death in and the walls moved on their own, my life become an endless acid trip from where there was no escape. I was left with no one but myself.

I had to move on.

So now life is almost ordinary. This is what I always feared, because I can't fully believe myself because I know what's behind my eyes when I look in the mirror. No more makeup, just a little balm. I can use some healing. I try a tasteful sweater here and there, but at night sometimes I still dream of that fruit, the golden blood fell from heaven. I'll meet him again someday.

So what do you guys think...do looks matter?


--------------------

"I can't be told by anyone how to live. If I said to the minister 'Move from your home' he would think I was mad." Bushman : Botswana

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Re: do looks matter? (long post) [Re: sadspacemonkey]
    #19532418 -

Looks are only skin deep... they can be fun, but that isn't where the real substance is. Personality is what really makes the person shine. Looks matter, but only to a degree.

I'd be lying to say I'm not at least slightly shallow when it comes to the opposite sex, but personality is key for me, not looks. I think of it like the looks is what reels you in... but the personality is the reason you stay.

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Re: do looks matter? (long post) *DELETED* [Re: sadspacemonkey]
    #19532462 -

Post deleted by WhoManBeing

Reason for deletion: .

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Re: do looks matter? (long post) [Re: Uzziel]
    #19532509 -

In regards to looks,I find people spend far too much time and money trying to fit the look of a specific sub culture. It is just asking to be stereotyped.

I used to do the piercings and long black hair and shit. Thought expressing myself like this was freedom, when it really isnt. It just traps you in other peoples judgements. People like to argue that isnt fair, people shouldnt be judged on how they dress. This is bullshit to be honest. If people choose dress in a particular, then be prepared to accept people based on your choice to appear that way.

Since I've taken out my piercings and dress simple, but nice, Ive found I am treated differently now, and base their views of me on how I act, not how I dress.

People dont notice me, and I dont stand out. This is what I want as it provides me the ability to get away with a lot more shit than I could before.

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Re: do looks matter? (long post) [Re: sadspacemonkey]
    #19534257 -

Quote:
do looks matter?


Yes.

I dress how I wish to be perceived.

Many people could argue that they do not dress to be perceived. Some may truly abstain, but for the typical person on an average day -- does one really just grab a bunch of random garments out of their drawer in the morning? Or does one thoroughly select them to create an orderly outfit? Why did one create an orderly outfit? Did it have to do with a date, a job, a family reunion, a paintball match, a hiking trip, or general societal expectations?

I believe that we impress upon the world and that the world impresses upon us. e.g. you dress up for a job interview so to impress the interviewer and in return you are impressed upon when the interviewer makes his judgment based our your clothing. And then your gestures. And your tone of voice. And so forth.

Yes, I think looks matter. Unless one is an outlier ascetic.




Quote:
Where's Siddharta's middle way when you need it?


Great book!:thumbup:


--------------------
TRUMP 2020

Edited by XUL (02/07/14 08:03 AM)

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Re: do looks matter? (long post) [Re: WhoManBeing]
    #19534699 -

WhoManBeing said:
i lost my mind, can i borrow yours?


You can have my mind, keep it, train it to speak even - I just have to find it first. (I lost mine as well.) But in a good way...

I spent most of my life past puberty dressing to simply blend in...it was just strange to me how differently people catagorize based on looks, especially when fitting into sub-culture. I wanted piercings and the whole bit when I was in high school but not badly enough to really be bothered by it - I would have had to pierce myself and I have enough pain to deal with! :laugh: It was just a fun experience...I suppose dressing up once in awhile is one thing, but basing an identity on appearance or judging based on that is what gets to me. Taking care of oneself and taking a situation into consideration (such as a job interview, etc) is another matter...ahh the EvIls of society :shrug:

A fun personality is always sexi too :3 And lasts!


--------------------

"I can't be told by anyone how to live. If I said to the minister 'Move from your home' he would think I was mad." Bushman : Botswana

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Re: do looks matter? (long post) [Re: sadspacemonkey]
    #19534707 -

With a personality like yours, you could be 200kg and limp from the waist down.


--------------------
And thus begins the  reverse-fusing of our one-dimentional understanding, and adds ever-expanding perspectives, in depth and number; splitting our perception, and in so doing, seemingly irrationally, creates yet more one-ness, with all that ever was, is and will ever be, streching across the infinite, inunderstood concept of everything, percievable and not.

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Re: do looks matter? (long post) [Re: Icyus]
    #19534765 -

:3 ! flattery will get you everywhere and no-where at the same time. choose your angle, but choose wisely since I'm ripping up all my PVC outfits to make myself a catsuit!!! :laugh: (i kid...like a babi goat)


--------------------

"I can't be told by anyone how to live. If I said to the minister 'Move from your home' he would think I was mad." Bushman : Botswana

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Re: do looks matter? (long post) [Re: sadspacemonkey]
    #19534778 -

It was no attemp at flattery.. I simply answered your question. A thight ass doesnt do much if the woman is a bitch..


--------------------
And thus begins the  reverse-fusing of our one-dimentional understanding, and adds ever-expanding perspectives, in depth and number; splitting our perception, and in so doing, seemingly irrationally, creates yet more one-ness, with all that ever was, is and will ever be, streching across the infinite, inunderstood concept of everything, percievable and not.

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Re: do looks matter? (long post) [Re: Icyus]
    #19534790 -

Haha...true...but a few tight holes + a beautiful personality is possible and I wish that and much more for you my friend


--------------------

"I can't be told by anyone how to live. If I said to the minister 'Move from your home' he would think I was mad." Bushman : Botswana

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Re: do looks matter? (long post) [Re: sadspacemonkey]
    #19536706 -

Looks don't get things done, the mind does.


--------------------

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Re: do looks matter? (long post) [Re: mentalpatient]
    #19536712 -

mentalpatient said:
Looks don't get things done, the mind does.


It seems to me that they work together.


--------------------
TRUMP 2020

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Re: do looks matter? (long post) [Re: sadspacemonkey]
    #19537925 -

Sounds like you were trying a lil too hard... This is what sucks about the world. People feel a desire to fit in and then realize it's fronting. I'm huge into hip hop culture which is similar in the aspect that it's always gotta be crazier... But I hate how people act like looks matter. Like, you never see a scene girl with a gangster. Which sucks ass cause I think scene girls are adorable. But people judge too much based on appearance. Don't get me wrong I like flossin but sometimes I wish everyone could wear what they wanted without being judged. You dress a certain way, people judge you. If you don't want the rep attached to that style don't do it. I don't think looks matter but society does. In order to conform we must behave and therefore dress in certain ways



Forgive my rambling I'm way too high. Feel free to ignore my inebriated $0.02.
I have the username for a reason


--------------------
Is this real life?
__________________
If experimenting with my mind isn't the pursuit of happiness, the Declaration of Independence isn't worth the hemp it's printed on.
___________________
If I texted someone the bill of rights, would the NSA read it?
________________________________________________________________________________
Everything mumbling_dumbass says is utter bullshit and may not be held against him. He does not use drugs or engage in any illegal activity, and is a completely brainwashed loyal slave to the government. Any infomation illegally obtained by the NSA is complete bullshit.

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Re: do looks matter? (long post) [Re: Mumbling_dumbass]
    #19538826 -

Mumbling_dumbass said:
Sounds like you were trying a lil too hard... This is what sucks about the world. People feel a desire to fit in and then realize it's fronting. I'm huge into hip hop culture which is similar in the aspect that it's always gotta be crazier... But I hate how people act like looks matter. Like, you never see a scene girl with a gangster. Which sucks ass cause I think scene girls are adorable...
Forgive my rambling I'm way too high. Feel free to ignore my inebriated $0.02.
I have the username for a reason


That's how a number of people interpreted my actions .. 'this chick's trying way too hard' And I was aware of it and I thought it was hilarious because I had no desire to even win their approval. I enjoyed the music and I enjoyed creating my hair falls and my outfits...but people's reactions and interpretations made me crack up because I always either did the opposite of what I thought was socially accepted or I was just a dork who didn't give a fuck. I'm not into hip hop, but if someone's dressed a little thug I don't judge at all...there's a mix of people in every group, so I just take others as individuals :smile: I like rambling, and there's no such thing as too high..thanks for reading!


--------------------

"I can't be told by anyone how to live. If I said to the minister 'Move from your home' he would think I was mad." Bushman : Botswana

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Re: do looks matter? (long post) [Re: sadspacemonkey]
    #19540599 -

Yup I guess we should all dress how we want to be judged. I don't mind being judged as a thug usually but sometimes I'm like shit I wonder how many nice girls I scare away lol. It sucks that looks matter to society. A lot of people that judged you for your style missed out on a very sweet personality.


--------------------
Is this real life?
__________________
If experimenting with my mind isn't the pursuit of happiness, the Declaration of Independence isn't worth the hemp it's printed on.
___________________
If I texted someone the bill of rights, would the NSA read it?
________________________________________________________________________________
Everything mumbling_dumbass says is utter bullshit and may not be held against him. He does not use drugs or engage in any illegal activity, and is a completely brainwashed loyal slave to the government. Any infomation illegally obtained by the NSA is complete bullshit.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: do looks matter? (long post) [Re: Mumbling_dumbass]
    #19540782 -

Mumbling_dumbass said:
Yup I guess we should all dress how we want to be judged. I don't mind being judged as a thug usually but sometimes I'm like shit I wonder how many nice girls I scare away lol. It sucks that looks matter to society. A lot of people that judged you for your style missed out on a very sweet personality.


Thanks! :smile: You seem intelligent, thoughtful, and kind yourself...anyone who judges you based on your clothing is missing out as well!  I think it's a human reflex to categorize others - our brains want to make sense of things, so it places labels on things and things in boxes and so on...but we're creatures with multi-faceted personalities, not 2 dimensional objects..so I try my best to see past the exterior...for instance, once I was in a subway car and slightly judged a homeless man that walked by (just in my mind) and he stopped, walks back over to me, looks me right in the eye and smiled and I thought he was beautiful in that instant...one example of a moment that helped see past first impressions which can be misleading.


--------------------

"I can't be told by anyone how to live. If I said to the minister 'Move from your home' he would think I was mad." Bushman : Botswana

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Re: do looks matter? (long post) [Re: sadspacemonkey]
    #19540986 -

Aww thanks. And yes I guess human nature is to blame for predjudices, so sad. What is on the outside of someone may mean nothing about what's in their heart and mind.


--------------------
Is this real life?
__________________
If experimenting with my mind isn't the pursuit of happiness, the Declaration of Independence isn't worth the hemp it's printed on.
___________________
If I texted someone the bill of rights, would the NSA read it?
________________________________________________________________________________
Everything mumbling_dumbass says is utter bullshit and may not be held against him. He does not use drugs or engage in any illegal activity, and is a completely brainwashed loyal slave to the government. Any infomation illegally obtained by the NSA is complete bullshit.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: do looks matter? (long post) [Re: Mumbling_dumbass]
    #19541192 -

Mumbling_dumbass said:
Aww thanks. And yes I guess human nature is to blame for predjudices, so sad. What is on the outside of someone may mean nothing about what's in their heart and mind.


:thumbup: :heart: :mushroom2:

truth! i felt that, thanks!


--------------------

"I can't be told by anyone how to live. If I said to the minister 'Move from your home' he would think I was mad." Bushman : Botswana

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