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InvisibleG a n j a
Pictish and proud
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Registered: 12/03/02
Posts: 7,860
Loc: Zone ate
Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1327602 - 02/22/03 09:56 PM (21 years, 1 month ago)

Hi steve
Soundslike your moving in the right direction by disgusing things in the open(well here anyway :smile: )The world is changing thought be it slowly.The advise of others to contact like minded people is a good starting point.
Gaydar
This place should help you out a bit i hope.Good luck with life mate. 


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er

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Invisiblefadedpinkwings
Stranger
Registered: 01/15/03
Posts: 120
Re: Being Gay [Re: Sheepish]
    #1328148 - 02/23/03 06:03 AM (21 years, 1 month ago)

You cant say "everybody" does just because you do.


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I hope all bleeding hearts Die from bloodloss!!!!!

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OfflineHB
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Registered: 04/06/01
Posts: 42,528
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Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1328564 - 02/23/03 10:07 AM (21 years, 1 month ago)

Nobody should ever feel they have to hide their sexuality from others

Those who would look down on you for being gay are people you shouldn't be hanging out with anyway, so who cares what they think of you, they obviously aren't good people

Remember, it's not YOU that is ever the problem, it's them

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InvisibleRipple
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Posts: 21,014
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Re: Being Gay [Re: HB]
    #1328591 - 02/23/03 10:18 AM (21 years, 1 month ago)

This is a great thread, thanks for the post steve, it just confirms my belief in the goodness of this community, or at least the great majority of it. Just like in life there will always be a few jerks and they will get the majority of the attention.

Shine on


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The bus came by and I got on that's when it all began!


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OfflineSheepish
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Registered: 04/02/02
Posts: 10,137
Loc: Exile
Last seen: 5 years, 11 months
Re: Being Gay [Re: fadedpinkwings]
    #1329296 - 02/23/03 04:09 PM (21 years, 1 month ago)

It's a generalisation, and of course, exceptions to the rule.

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InvisibleAsante
Omnicyclion prophet
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Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 87,330
Re: Being Gay [Re: ]
    #1329973 - 02/23/03 09:37 PM (21 years, 1 month ago)

I like to go way back to something Mr. Mushrooms has said...

"...Finding a way to become heterosexual". I really don't think it works that way. The people Mr Mushrooms knew who've found peace thru this were likely BI-sexuals primarily. For a super-straight guy or a truely lesbian woman the concept of loving and merging with :wink: another male would hold little appeal. Note I really don't mean disgust, It just wouldn't sound appealing to them.

The same holds true for a super-gay & a woman: it would be against their nature to do so and it'll most likely result in frustration, not peace.

There are alot of christian groups that claim they can turn gays straight. This is utter nonsense. One will only find peace if one is compatible enough with gay/straightness. There are lots of gays who "do as they're told" and marry, have kids etc, then find they're living a lie that makes both partners unhappy and these couples divorce. It's tragic, but illustrates my point that people cannot go against their nature & expect to find true peace with it.

I think you've got STRAIGHT on the left, and GAY on the right side of the spectrum, with BISEXUALITY to varying degrees in the middle. Now I think that alot of str8 and gay people are alot more to the middle than they like to think, they just don't know it. Exploring the true nature of your own sexuality means entering Taboo areas & may lead to culturally/personally upsetting findings. I agree that all people likely are AC/DC, but to varying degrees. If one has too little affinity for a certain side, it's unlikely to find peace there.

A few years ago I was on a solotrip on 20mg of 2CB. (mescaline analogue) I got CEV of an incredably erotic nature, which isn't strange to me :smirk:
Suddenly I got a tremendous shock: It was MALE/FEMALE sex :shocked: Now before I had considered myself to be 100% gay, but now there was no closing my eyes to the naked fact that I had at least one bisexual bone in my body! I LOL'd for 5 minutes extatically, having discovered a whole new dimension to myself.
I really think it's just a few % tho: I'm a man's man!

Alot of str8 guys/girls get this too. For them its usually quite upsetting, because they're dropping out of the mainstream culture of western society. Stanislav Grof, a brilliant LSD psychotherapist, noted that "homosexual panic" (the fear of being, becoming an Assgoblin like yours truely) was among the top-5 of most frequent causes of in-trip crisis. Tons of so-called str8 people harbour hidden bisexual tendencies. People: there's nothing wrong with some AC/DC fantasies every now & then, but if you suffer from not acting on them, you're missing out on an important part of yourself that's in dire need of exploration.

The net carries tons & tons of info's, porns and what have you not's on any of these three flavours. There's the ILGA and tons of orgs. But remember one thing: the virtual world is one thing, the real world another. Allthough you'll be able to dick your computer in a few years, those chips & pics never can provide you with LOVE. And that's what it's all about, people:
L.O.V.E; Get It! 


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Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here

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InvisibleRoadkillM
Retired Shroomery Mod
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Registered: 12/11/01
Posts: 22,674
Loc: Montana
Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1330066 - 02/23/03 11:00 PM (21 years, 1 month ago)

hi...Steve

I'd like to start by saying that I am straight.
But...I am not a gay basher.
I have never been a gay basher and never will be.

When I was in the Military I was approched several times by gay men.
It made me feel uncomfortable...yet it made me feel good in a sense that I was attractive.
I didn't punch them or call them names....I was up front and told them I was straight and that I was not interested...which was fine with all of the guys that ever tried to pick up on me.

One guy in California that I met was very nice. (1981 was the year).
We met in a bar...he was friendly and started talking to me.
I was lonely and it was around Christmas time...and I was away from home.
He asked if I was in the Navy and I said yes...I had the short hair and the attitude...must have been obvious to him.
He told me he worked on the Navy base as a Civilian clerk.
We drank a few beers and ended up having a pizza together and talked.
Turned out the Bar keep was a friend of his and we got free beer.
We ended up going outside the bar and smoking some weed...and talked more.
He told me he thought I was very handsome...and that he was wondering if I was gay...I told him I wasn't....he asked me if he upset me....I said no he hadn't upset me...but there was no way I was going home with him...lolzz
He told me that he liked me as a person and that my open mindedness was wonderful.
He invited me to a party that he was having at his house and told me that there would be alot of pretty women there that I might like...and that might like me.
In the back of my mind I was a little worried about showing up to a party at this guys house and getting ass raped by a bunch of gay guys...but I'm a pretty big guy and can take care of myself so I decided to go to the party.
I had a great time and met some really nice people...gay and straight.
I met this gal there and we hit it off really well...I dated her for about 6 months...she worked with him. :grin:
I got to know him over the year that I spent in California...he was a great guy.
He never tried to pick up on me again and we got to know each other a little.

What I'm getting at is this... It doesn't matter what your sexual orientation is...All that matters is what you are on the inside as a person.
It's just like racism...color of people shouldn't matter.
You shouldn't judge a book by its cover...you need to read what's on the inside.
After you read the book...then judge!

I wish you well and I hope that you will live the life style that makes you happy.
Life is too short to be misserable.
Be who you are...and do the best you can at everything you do.

If you ever need to talk....just send me a pm.
I'm a good listener.
 


--------------------
Laterz, Road

Who the hell you callin crazy?
You wouldn't know what crazy was if Charles Manson was eating froot loops on your front porch!


Brainiac said:
PM the names with on there names, that means they have mushrooms for sale.


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InvisiblePapaverS
Madmin Emeritus?

Registered: 06/01/02
Posts: 26,880
Loc: Radio Free Tibet!
Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1330075 - 02/23/03 11:15 PM (21 years, 1 month ago)

First of all, let me say, that I did not read this entire thread, and my apologies to everyone that has posted in it...

Second of all, Steve, BE YOURSELF! That is the important thing! :laugh:

I have heard so much about the gay vs. non-gay thing -- especially having been immersed in the art world for some time. It doesn't really matter to most of us, who really matter, what your sexual preference is, so just be yourself! Celebrate your life, and make the most of it, as your life is a precious gift, and the only one you?ll get! :laugh:

Homosexuality and heterosexuality are two poles, which exist on a continuum, and are predicted only by and extremely complex interaction of biological and sociological variables. It is not a disease, and it is not always a life choice. The reasons for preferring same sex partners is as complex as human physiology, and social complexity -- it is as deep as the sea, and as ungraspable as the stars, so just be yourself! If someone gives you a hard time, then just remember that their ignorance is just as far out of their hands, as your sexual preference is may be out of yours... :smile:

I?ll bottom-line it for you: BE YOURSELF, and make the most of YOUR LIFE! Fuck the doomed, and the ignorant, as they?re really not worth your time! :cool:


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Anonymous #1

Re: Being Gay [Re: Asante]
    #1330116 - 02/24/03 12:05 AM (21 years, 1 month ago)

- Post History Deleted Upon User's Request -

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OfflineGagePLoungin
Stranger
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Registered: 01/17/03
Posts: 53
Loc: High in the mountains
Last seen: 15 years, 4 months
Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1332547 - 02/24/03 05:43 PM (21 years, 1 month ago)

Steve, be proud, be strong, be yourself. Accepting yourself is the first step in gaining the acceptance of others. How much does it really matter if you're gay or not? People make to big a deal of sexuallity. Posting this thread took real guts, man. Be yourself and if some people don't accept it, fuck 'em!!!! Hey, it's a good way to find out who your real friends are. All that matters in the very short time we're here is being the best person we can be - the details just add flavor!

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OfflineKingCobWeb
journeyman
Registered: 11/20/02
Posts: 97
Last seen: 20 years, 11 months
Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1332898 - 02/24/03 09:57 PM (21 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

I hate being gay.

I hate having to hide the fact that I'm gay.

It makes me feel isolated.

It makes me feel like I am lying to everyone I know because I am holding back this large part of who I am. It makes me feel like I'm lying to myself!




1) They cant catch you if you don't run
2) They cant find you out if you don't hide.
3) As much as it might be frightening, or temporaraly painful, the loss of those whos judgements you fear are no losses at all. You are better off without those people in your life.
4) You are not alone, by any means.
5) It pays to advertise. If you wanna sell it, then put up the sign.
6) You do not have to be gay to have and enjoy sex with someone of the same gender....But it's probably a waste of time, and too much trouble to try to talk that cute jock at the club into "expirimenting" with you. (Besides, eventually so many of these "straight" guys will get drunk enough to come asking YOU those uncomfortable questions with propositions...and it is usually best just to politely say no...especially if you work with them, or see them every day.)
7) Protect yourself. Buy a lot of condoms, and a gun, theres still a lot of real lunatics in the world: http://www.godhatesfags.com
8) It is far more important to be yourself, and be who you are rather then try to live up to or engage in the typical stereotypes.
9) Karaoke is bad, ok? Especially for gay and lesbian people, especially in Gay bars doing lots of show tunes.....this is what causes more divisions and animosity between Gays, Straights, Lesbians, and their brothers and sisters. Just say no to Karaoke.
10) Wishfull thinking often clouds the Gaydar. It is better to ask an embarassing question then to grab the wrong crotch.



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Anonymous #1

Re: Being Gay [Re: KingCobWeb]
    #1335590 - 02/25/03 04:01 PM (21 years, 1 month ago)

- Post History Deleted Upon User's Request -

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InvisibleEvolving
Resident Cynic

Registered: 10/01/02
Posts: 5,385
Loc: Apt #6, The Village
Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1337907 - 02/26/03 12:19 PM (21 years, 1 month ago)

Hi RebelSteve, I don't know what your political philosophy is but I have gone to many libertarian oriented functions and have met a good number of gay people who were not at all flamers. Why, one guy I had been hanging out with caught me off guard by asking me to spend some intimate time with him (I had no idea). I was rather surprised and uncomfortable but it shocked my out of my shyness to go talk to that beautiful girl who later became my wife. I will forever be indebted to that fellow...

Please don't hate who you are, there's no advantage in that. You seem to me to be a good, intelligent person and would make a good friend. When you learn to accept yourself and feel comfortable with who you are, others are more likely to pick up on that as well and see it as a positive trait.


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To call humans 'rational beings' does injustice to the term, 'rational.'  Humans are capable of rational thought, but it is not their essence.  Humans are animals, beasts with complex brains.  Humans, more often than not, utilize their cerebrum to rationalize what their primal instincts, their preconceived notions, and their emotional desires have presented as goals - humans are rationalizing beings.

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OfflineShrewDigsby
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Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1343389 - 02/28/03 03:37 PM (21 years, 1 month ago)

My girlfriend's roommate, Mike, is gay. He's out and open about it, but is definitely not a flamer. You'd never think he was gay. He brings friends over that are more feminine acting, but I wouldn't say they're flamers either.

We live in chicago which is a very gay friendly city...compared to other parts of the country. Mike grew up in Central Illinois which I'm told is very conservitive like most of the midwest. He consciously decided to move to Chicago so he could live in an environment where he didn't feel he needed to hide being gay...mostly for safety and the way people would treat him if they knew in Central Illinois.

I don't know how old you are, but from what you described in your first post it seems like either HS or college. At some point in your young 20's you should just decide that you're done hiding it. It's a good time cuz you'll naturally move on w/ your life and make new friend while departing your old ones. When that day comes, just be honest w/ the new people you meet in your life. I think things will work out for you.

Personally, I think openly gay people have really gotten it together upstairs cuz they were forced to face something, and come out if it w/ a better understanding about who they are and where they stand.


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Marijuana is a horticultural plant.  Hemp is an industrial weed.  I believe they were both provided to us by GOD to use and enjoy.

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Offlinejarby
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Re: Being Gay [Re: G a n j a]
    #1359498 - 03/09/03 02:48 AM (21 years, 1 month ago)

Hi Steve,
I guess the main question of your topic is "Can anyone relate to me?" And the answer is yes, every single non-flaming gay person out there (including myself) goes through the exact same thing. It is very frustrating.

Its terrible having to hide it, but I know for a fact that if I told, my close friends would disown me, as well as the many other people I somewhat know from my school. That's why I'm waiting until college to come out, that way you can still have fun partying now (munching) rather than sitting at home alone every weekend.

Some of the most annoying parts about pretending not to be gay is having to listen to your friends go on and on about chicks, and ask you who you think is hot and stuff. It's fucking annoying as hell. And then when they jokingly call each other faggots, or make fun of other people and call them homo's and stuff.

I wish there were a way that we gay people could instantly tell if someone else is gay without having to ask first. I mean there are some people that when you talk to them, it almost seems like they're flurting with you in a small way, but if you were to ask them, and they weren't, you'd probably feel like shit. It's so frustrating knowing that while a lot of people are going out and dating and stuff, we have to wait until we're older to find other gay people.

It's all society's fault that all this has happened. It'd be so great if in life there were no secrets and everyone was as accepting as the people here at the shroomery.

But one thing to remember is that there are tons and tons of other people like you out there, all feeling the exact same way. One in nine males are said to be gay, so just think, when you enter a room, there in all likelihood is another gay person in there.

Good luck.

Edited by jarby (03/09/03 02:50 AM)

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Invisiblematts
matts

Registered: 01/28/02
Posts: 3,649
[Re: jarby]
    #1359536 - 03/09/03 03:22 AM (21 years, 1 month ago)


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InvisibleCosmicJokeM
happy mutant
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Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 10,848
Loc: Portland, OR
Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1539149 - 05/11/03 02:21 PM (20 years, 11 months ago)

If you ever find yourself passing through Columbus, OH , then please hit me up with a PM. Not that I'm looking for a trick, I already have a "bear"friend. But , I can introduce you to a vast world of long haired, wild bearded free-spirited gay hippies, beatniks, bikers, psychedelic hepcats etc.
Gay pride here will be at the end of June, keep that in mind.



--------------------
Everything is better than it was the last time.  I'm good.

If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.

It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence.

I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too.  If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.

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InvisibleXlea321
Stranger
Registered: 02/25/01
Posts: 9,134
Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1539287 - 05/11/03 03:29 PM (20 years, 11 months ago)

Read Joe Ortons diaries.


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Don't worry, B. Caapi

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OfflineStrumpling
Neuronaut
Registered: 10/11/02
Posts: 7,571
Loc: Hyperspace
Last seen: 12 years, 10 months
Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1539567 - 05/11/03 05:39 PM (20 years, 11 months ago)

"I hate being gay.
I hate having to hide the fact that I'm gay.
It makes me feel isolated."
"I don't want to let them know that I am if they aren't."

dude Steve!!

I'm not gay but I don't have a problem with homosexuality - I don't know if you should be as nervous as you are, man..... I've had gay guys kind of hit on me before and honestly its no big deal - unless these people are fuckin assholes, they'll probably do like I did and simply say something like "hey man I'm not gay but good luck tonight.. I'm sure I'll see you around"

I think homophobia exists only when a homosexual is very insecure - like I've met gay dudes who are really nervous and like just intimidated, its like they're afraid to interact with me because they're afraid I'll get pissed and call them a homo and tell them to fuck off or something...... The gay guys I've met (hey I live near hollywood..) who have confidence and aren't nervous and self-conscious seem to have much better success in crowds and way more heterosexual friends..

But thats just my personal experience - I think if you realize your greatness and relax when you're out prowling, just like people of any other orientation, you'll see that confidence is k3Y. Settle down and smile :smile: You can do it


--------------------
Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE

Edited by Strumpling (05/11/03 05:40 PM)

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OfflineStrumpling
Neuronaut
Registered: 10/11/02
Posts: 7,571
Loc: Hyperspace
Last seen: 12 years, 10 months
Re: Being Gay [Re: Strumpling]
    #1539583 - 05/11/03 05:47 PM (20 years, 11 months ago)

I just realized a parallel that many of us can relate to.

When I first got interested in drugs, I had the same type of feelings about my drug-use that it seems you have about your homosexuality.

I'd go to a party stoned, and I'd be like "shit I hope these people don't find out I'm stoned because people don't like drug-addicts."

I was looking at it from the complete wrong perspective! I've finally realized that dammit I'm a drug-user!! Dammit I'm proud of it!! Dammit who wants to get high?!?!!!

heh a little change of perspective goes a long way :smile: The non-drug-users don't seem to care nearly as much as I thought they would have, just as it seems you have an idea that non-gay men may have some type of major objection to your preferences, when in reality I don't know if anybody really cares nearly as much as it may seem.

You're gay. Come on if you're going that direction you should stand up and be proud of it! "I love men and I love that I love men!" heh lol come on man I think the discomfort you sense from heteros is more stemming from your own discomfort... if this isn't making sense, but still sounds interesting, I can put it in many other ways :wink:


--------------------
Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE

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