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InvisibleRebelSteve33
Amateur Mycologist
Male

Registered: 05/28/02
Posts: 3,774
Loc: Arizona
Being Gay
    #1324090 - 02/21/03 06:07 AM (21 years, 1 month ago)

I hate being gay.

I hate having to hide the fact that I'm gay.

It makes me feel isolated. 

It makes me feel like I am lying to everyone I know because I am holding back this large part of who I am.  It makes me feel like I'm lying to myself!

I go to parties and see guys and girls flirting.

I go to parties and see guys that look interesting, but I am too afraid to say anything to them because they might not be gay; and I don't want to let them know that I am if they aren't. 

It's such a horrible dilemma that I face allllll the time!

I've been alone for so long now.

How am I ever going to meet another nice, gay guy if the only ones who are open about their sexuality are "flamers" that I couldn't even hang out with.  It's impossible to find a gay partner when almost everyone hides the fact that they are gay.

Can anyone here relate to me?

:crazy: :crazy: :crazy:

I need some support...  :frown:

-RebelSteve

 


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Namaste.

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InvisibleOscuro_lobo
Dark Wolf

Registered: 04/15/02
Posts: 813
Loc: it doesn't really matter.
Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1324183 - 02/21/03 06:44 AM (21 years, 1 month ago)

Yea, that sucks a lot, it's even more complicated when you live somwhere that's not receptive to it. Best advice, stop looking so hard, just goto places and make friends.
Find some nice bars or clubs or organizations that are GBLT friendly.

people are out there, you'll find em :smile:
most are just shy or going through the same things you are.

-ol

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Anonymous #1

Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1324193 - 02/21/03 06:45 AM (21 years, 1 month ago)

My best friend called me one time and told me that a friend of ours told him he was gay. I said, "Wow, that's weird." Then I went and made myself a sandwich.

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Invisiblefadedpinkwings
Stranger
Registered: 01/15/03
Posts: 120
Re: Being Gay [Re: ]
    #1324238 - 02/21/03 07:01 AM (21 years, 1 month ago)

You are so accepting. If everyone was as accepting as you all the gay people could come out of the closets and dance in the streets.


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I hope all bleeding hearts Die from bloodloss!!!!!

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OfflineBavet
Sensitive StonedRebel

Registered: 12/12/02
Posts: 383
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Re: Being Gay [Re: fadedpinkwings]
    #1324272 - 02/21/03 07:20 AM (21 years, 1 month ago)

Ahh  More women for the straights  :grin:

Dude you don't need to be gay  I mean can u honestly say You don't find hot beautiful women attractive? 


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"~Dream as if you'll live forever....live as if you'll die today~ James Dean"

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Invisiblesilversoul7
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Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1324304 - 02/21/03 07:35 AM (21 years, 1 month ago)

There are gay clubs, gay coffe shops, gay bars, etc. in most major cities. Not all the guys who go there are total "flamers." I had a gay friend in High School who I never would've suspected was gay until he told me. He used to frequently go to this one gay coffee shop, and I would sometimes go with him. There were some really cool guys there. Not every one of them is gay, but they were all at least tolerant of gays. Also, all my gay encounters have occurred at raves. You might want to check that out, tho of course that scene isn't for everyone.


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"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire

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InvisibleAsante
Omnicyclion prophet
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Posts: 87,230
Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1324477 - 02/21/03 09:04 AM (21 years, 1 month ago)

Being Gay is A-OK!

I know, I'm one of 'em. What's not OK is that indeed there's alot of hatred directed at our group. I lost almost all my heterophilliac friends when I told them I was, and got openly ridiculed by teachers too. And those 'friends' I lost to all possible reasons not related to me being Gay whatsoever, and yet within weeks of me coming out I had managed to shed most friends I had.

Well screw them all!  :mad: I have escaped some cops going Rodney King on me & have staved off several possible violent encounters. And all of this because I'm different than the majority. Homophobia is everywhere. A long time ago I pulled some Gay monkeystuff rite here on the Shroomery, all in good taste, ofcourse :wink:, to see what would happen.

Well: I got flak. Several WS-friendly people started to avoid me & I got some phobic PMs I didn't narc on, but the majority of reactions was relatively accepting. I was prepared to disappear and return under another alias, but this was'nt needed. It was quite funny to see some heterophilliacs do psychological headstands & me getting all stereotypical & provocative, quite refreshing actually.

But let's face it. Homophobia is a REAL thing. It changes alot of people once you're out. I'm not going to say: "hey man, coming out is a piece of cake", because we're backpacking Palestinians in Jerusalem. Ain't it curious? Here at Support Central all posting is sincere and you post something Gay and get some pretty stupid and decidedly immature responses.
Pathetic.

Violence is rare. People calling you names is uncommon. People shunning you is typical, people looking at you differently is to be expected but there really are alot of accepting folks outthere. You can count on at least 5% percent of the male population being Gay: there's some @ the office, on every bus, in every class, wherever groups of people tend to hang.

I suggest you don't buy a "F#ck me, I'm GAY" T-shirt, but try to find a partner discretely. It's in the little things. Not loose wrists or sissy looks or whatever, but people who dig you have a way of discreetly letting you know that. You can flirt too, you just have to keep it non-obvious. As I said: violence is rare.

Please seek out the Gay places in your (general) area. They may be bars, clubs & whatever.

You are right: loneliness sux. Having rubbers pass their expiration rates sux too. But you have GOT to find LOVE. Sex is trivial:It's better to jerk off than to date one. You need to find a close circle of friends and that one very, very special one...
Being Gay is OK. How society deals with it is one of the biggest injustices of all time. But you've got to be true to yourself, accept that you = gay = ok and that you have to work with it, not repress it.
Out of every 1.000 men, one will be the One for you, you'll just have to go discretely about it & not cocoon like I did.

A brotherly hug from Holland,
Wiccan_Seeker 


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Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here

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Offlinewyldtouch69
You heard ofhell well i wassent from it

Registered: 09/25/02
Posts: 2,817
Last seen: 15 years, 9 months
Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1325012 - 02/21/03 01:35 PM (21 years, 1 month ago)

yes...

being gay is not an easy thing, but don't hide it!! I hate it when people have homophobia. my GF and I have A LOT of problems because she hasn't realized that it doesn't matter what other people think of you.

you'll be aight. goto www.gay.com and go into the chat rooms. they're seperated into states and cities. you're bound to find some friends there! also, you can do a search in the personals ads and find some guys in your area. good luck and fuck naysayers cuz they don't mean a thing!


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Offlinespliffguru
guru of spliffs

Registered: 08/28/02
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Re: Being Gay [Re: wyldtouch69]
    #1325052 - 02/21/03 02:12 PM (21 years, 1 month ago)

Last summer while smoking a lot of pot, I found one male friend of mine attractive.

It really bothered me for awhile, thinking I could be gay, but as I've thought about it, I still find myself very attracted to girls in every way. I love women, and I've shrugged off what happened as me just being really really high, and naturally turned on by anything given that state of mind.


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There was a point to this message, but it has temporarily escaped the chronicler's mind

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InvisibleZero7a1
Leaving YourWasteland

Registered: 10/23/02
Posts: 3,594
Loc: Passing Cloud
Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1325296 - 02/21/03 05:16 PM (21 years, 1 month ago)

this is probably the only reason why i think there is a definate relationship b/w the male self and his psychology. i thought today... maybe why we have all this homophobia and all these questions of male sexuality, cause the male race is divided. like some men who cant accept certain things? like maybe a certain side of their psyche, like they cant surrender so they all go like super homophobic. theres one really nice gay guy i know, hes smart as hell, and probably one of the nicest people i have ever met and felt more comfortable around him than most men at all! im not gay, but i have questioned myself a lot, and ive had dreams you people wouldnt believe, not to mention experience as a child which i dont really want to go into. but i think you are experiencing a great problem in the male - male and male female psychology, i dont know why it is this way that causes people to react so violently or so obstinately. these problems are everywhere and its quite sad, i think both the gay and straight communities suffer, maybe there is a secret to each sides world that is mis understood, so one is rejected and abused while some of the others have to react so drastically. i just have to say dont beat yourself up too much, most of the girls i have ever met cant begin to understand or accept me, had a great gf and lost her, i realized its not that important.  shit is how shit is. dont hate who you are, hating your situation only gives you that pain which you live in. the world is fucked up, you dont have to join it :wink::laugh: 


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What?

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Offlinesirreal
devoid
Registered: 01/11/03
Posts: 1,775
Loc: In the borderlands
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Re: Being Gay [Re: Zero7a1]
    #1325673 - 02/21/03 11:11 PM (21 years, 30 days ago)

I am going to be extremely honest now. You may not like what you hear, but it might shed a little light on homophobia. I have a gay aunt that I grew up around. And my uncle married a woman who had a homosexual brother. I spent some time around him growing up and watched him kiss men when I would go over to his house with my uncle. I always felt repulsed by what he was doing. Like it was unnatural.

I did not live in a religious household so you cannot blame my negative feelings on religion. I was just naturally repulsed by the idea of two men kissing. Everyone around me was very accepting of his lifestyle. I was not uptight about it and I was never hateful. Just repulsed.

As I grew into adulthood I began to lose some of the negative feelings I had about him and I actually hang out with him occasionally. I know it is none of my buisness what another person does and , logically , I have worked this out. But I still feel somewhat repulsed by the Idea of two men kissing.

I am not trying to make anyone feel bad. I am sure I repulse some people with my lifestyle. I love to use certain drugs and we know there are a lot of people who would hate me for that. I mostly wanted to say that just because a person is homophobic, It does not neccasarily mean that they are a latent homosexual.


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I may not always tell the truth, but atleast I'm honest
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I see what everyone is saying. It is so hard to form an opinion when you see both sides so clearly!

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Anonymous #1

Re: Being Gay [Re: sirreal]
    #1325698 - 02/21/03 11:51 PM (21 years, 30 days ago)

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Offlinesirreal
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Re: Being Gay [Re: ]
    #1325702 - 02/21/03 11:57 PM (21 years, 30 days ago)

Did you think I was"attempting to step over that boundry. I was just presenting a point of view.


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I may not always tell the truth, but atleast I'm honest
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I see what everyone is saying. It is so hard to form an opinion when you see both sides so clearly!

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Anonymous #1

Re: Being Gay [Re: sirreal]
    #1325718 - 02/22/03 12:30 AM (21 years, 30 days ago)

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Offlinesirreal
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Posts: 1,775
Loc: In the borderlands
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Re: Being Gay [Re: ]
    #1325729 - 02/22/03 12:42 AM (21 years, 30 days ago)

You are right. This post is not about homophobia. Maybe I did get a little to close to aline that should not be crossed. But steve is not the only one trying to come to terms with this issue. I have spent my life dealing with this issue on a very personal level, just from the other side. Zero posted a reply that insinuated that people who have a hard time accepting homosexuality were repressing something. I did not agree.

If you are gay, then you should a life that makes you happy.Better?


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I may not always tell the truth, but atleast I'm honest
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I see what everyone is saying. It is so hard to form an opinion when you see both sides so clearly!

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InvisibleAsante
Omnicyclion prophet
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Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 87,230
Re: Being Gay [Re: sirreal]
    #1325733 - 02/22/03 12:51 AM (21 years, 30 days ago)

I just don't get people get hate-feelings when they encounter a different kind of love. Haven't seen that in this thread tho.

I've seen a documentary on fat people. Actually: how they were percieved. They drew a 'neutral' picture of an obese kid & showed this to a bunch of 4-6 years old kiddies in the USA and Ghana. "Please describe what this person is like".
USA: lazy, dumb, unpleasant; all the traits western culture claims obese people to be like & that drive tons of girls (and some boys) into death by anorexia.

Then they showed a similar pic in Ghana, a west-African country where being obese is deemed positive, culturally. There the kiddies rated the pic nothing but positive traits.

As a control they showed white USA 4-6yo kids a pic of a black boy.
"Can't trust him. He lies. Don't want to be his friend."
A white kid pic in Ghana got nothing but positive remarks.


Enough kidstuff. My point is this: Very young kids have before they can think for themselves already got a pretty defined picture of what the culture expects of them. Even then they want to belong & belonging means finding (cultural) common ground. So Sirreal: You likely picked up on the cultural bias like named kids did, or perhaps ANY form of kissing was gross then.

But there's a deeply tragic point to this... Obese USA kids attached the same negative images to the obese kid pic. Black USA kids attached negative image-forming to the black kid pic. It's sad, very sad, but culture cuts very, very deep and severs connections between (percieved) groups of people when we're at our most volnurable: As little kids, preying on our inborn desire to belong to the "Us" and finger a "Them".

Sirreal grew over most of his programming. He consciously stepped over the "Objects" vs "People" boundary. He can connect.

Homosexuality is a cultural taboo. And allthough we like to think we can shatter taboos at will this ain't so. The taboo on Homosexuality is fading away, just as that on interracial sex has earlier. But it will take hundreds of years to get rid of social taboos once they're firmly in place.

Homosexuality isn't wrong, it's different. And in a world where everybody wants to belong & everything has to conform this leads to problems.

CELEBRATE DIVERSITY ! ! ! ! !  :grin: 


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Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here

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Anonymous #1

Re: Being Gay [Re: sirreal]
    #1325737 - 02/22/03 12:57 AM (21 years, 30 days ago)

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Offlinesirreal
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Re: Being Gay [Re: Asante]
    #1325738 - 02/22/03 12:59 AM (21 years, 30 days ago)

That was a very thoughtful reply. I am glad to see you were not offended by my post.

Growing up I remember that my family was very accepting of homosexuality. I also remember the media really pushing acceptance. I did not grow up in a homophobe world. I do not really understand why I felt the way I did. But it did seem to come from inside.

To stay on topic I will say, Good luck rebelsteve.


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I may not always tell the truth, but atleast I'm honest
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I see what everyone is saying. It is so hard to form an opinion when you see both sides so clearly!

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Invisiblesilversoul7
Chill the FuckOut!
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Registered: 10/10/02
Posts: 27,301
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Re: Being Gay [Re: sirreal]
    #1325836 - 02/22/03 03:35 AM (21 years, 30 days ago)

I think everyone is grossed out by things which seem strange to them, but once they get used to it, it doesn't bother them at all. I, for example, feel nothing but laughter when I see hello.jpg, although when I first saw it, it grossed me out. You know what's wierd? I remember being homophobic when I was in 8th grade, and yet 5 years later I came to discover that I was bisexual. Talk about irony! Until recently, I was grossed out by transexuals, transvestites, and drag queens, but I still accepted those things, and now they don't bother me anymore. The key in life is to have an open mind.


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"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire

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InvisibleAsante
Omnicyclion prophet
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Re: Being Gay [Re: sirreal]
    #1325894 - 02/22/03 04:20 AM (21 years, 30 days ago)

You cannot say that!
You can't say you didn't grow up in a homophobe world!

Your close enviroment might have been accepting, but the "world" never was. The media "pushing acceptance"... Why was that needed?

If you live in, say, the USA it's impossible to say you live in a "nonracist" world/country, because regardless of how your enviroment is... The media breathe racism... the peergroup hints at racism... school teaches you racistically... You cannot escape it! I have worked long & hard to rid myself of racism, and you know what: some test showed I'm in the most severe category of it.

If you live in the western culture & claim you are free of homophobia or racism (it's basically the same thing)... You can likely be crowned King if deNile!
Most gay people show strong signs of anti-gay tendencies just as most black people show a tendency to step in line with anti-black sentiments, regardless of how they LIKE to think.

Intolerance is the most insidious of poisons: The ones who claim to be free of it are among the most strongly affected.


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Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here

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Offlinesirreal
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Re: Being Gay [Re: Asante]
    #1325929 - 02/22/03 04:48 AM (21 years, 30 days ago)

First of all, I admit I have a problem fully accepting homosexuality.

Secondly, You do not know anything about the world I grew up in. Just what I tell you.

You are right about the fact that everyone is exposed to homophobia throughout thier life. I remember in grade school kids would call each other names like "faggot" when they would want to start a fight. That kind of exposure does take root. But where does all this homophobic thinking come from. Did somebody long ago teach thier children to dislike homosexuals or is it the fact that it is far from normal behavior. Just because I say it is far from normal behavior does not mean I think it is wrong. Understand me. Most men are attracted to women and they find one to have children with. That is normal.

I am abnormal in a lot of ways. I exhibit abnormal behavior and have abnormal likes and dislikes. Some of my abnormal ways I take pride in.If I were homosexual I am sure I would take pride in being different and do what the fuck I wanted!

But I do not believe I was brainwashed into feeling homosexuality is abnormal.

Good luck steve. :laugh:


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I may not always tell the truth, but atleast I'm honest
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I see what everyone is saying. It is so hard to form an opinion when you see both sides so clearly!

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Invisiblesilversoul7
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Re: Being Gay [Re: sirreal]
    #1325935 - 02/22/03 04:58 AM (21 years, 30 days ago)

Quote:

Most men are attracted to women and they find one to have children with. That is normal.



You know, I'm taking a Sociology course right now, and one of the things I've learned in that class is about the "hidden cirriculum" taught in schools. Among them is compulsory heterosexuality. School teaches children, in rather subtle way, that boys are supposed to be attracted to girls and vice versa. They are taught that this is the norm. They are taught their "proper" gender roles. So even if your teachers preached tolerance, there were most likely indoctrinating you with homophobia, without either of you really realizing it. It's happened to all of us.


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"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire

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Offlinesirreal
devoid
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Posts: 1,775
Loc: In the borderlands
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Re: Being Gay [Re: silversoul7]
    #1325957 - 02/22/03 05:17 AM (21 years, 30 days ago)

I do not need somebody to "compel" me into thinking that it is natural to be attracted to someone of the opposite sex and to have children. Mankind would not have survived without this natural "compulsion".


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I may not always tell the truth, but atleast I'm honest
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I see what everyone is saying. It is so hard to form an opinion when you see both sides so clearly!

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Invisiblesilversoul7
Chill the FuckOut!
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Registered: 10/10/02
Posts: 27,301
Loc: mndfreeze's puppet army
Re: Being Gay [Re: sirreal]
    #1325981 - 02/22/03 05:28 AM (21 years, 30 days ago)

I'm not saying you were brainwashed into being straight. I'm saying that the hidden cirriculum teaches kids that that is the norm, and that two people of the same sex should not be together like that. It's largely a cultural thing. The ancient Greeks and Romans didn't have the concept of homosexuality that we have today, because back then, it was quite normal for slave-owners to have sex with both their male and female slaves. People didn't think of that as attraction, because slaves were seen as property. So it was just seen as a guy using his property. It was equivalent to masturbation. And there were quite a few Roman emperors who had male lovers. No one seemed to think there was anything wrong or repulsive about this, except of course for the Christians.


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"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire

Edited by silversoul7 (02/22/03 05:30 AM)

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Offlinesirreal
devoid
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Re: Being Gay [Re: silversoul7]
    #1325996 - 02/22/03 05:42 AM (21 years, 30 days ago)

I now see what you are saying. Homosexuality being stigmatized is one thing. Homosexuality being called normal is another. It is possible, and even likely, that homosexuality has been stigmatized in my mind to some degree by society. That ,combined with the knowledge that most people are attracted to members of the opposite sex, can create extreme predjudice against homosexuals. I believe that if a person with this predjudice can seperate these two things they can rid themselves of societies stigma against homosexuality and learn to deal with the fact that it is different and not the norm. I am learning to accept differences among men.


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I may not always tell the truth, but atleast I'm honest
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I see what everyone is saying. It is so hard to form an opinion when you see both sides so clearly!

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Offlinesirreal
devoid
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Posts: 1,775
Loc: In the borderlands
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Re: Being Gay [Re: sirreal]
    #1326014 - 02/22/03 05:58 AM (21 years, 30 days ago)

And I am suprised you would use as an example a society that felt it was allright to RAPE thier SLAVES.


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I may not always tell the truth, but atleast I'm honest
-----------

I see what everyone is saying. It is so hard to form an opinion when you see both sides so clearly!

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Invisiblesilversoul7
Chill the FuckOut!
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Registered: 10/10/02
Posts: 27,301
Loc: mndfreeze's puppet army
Re: Being Gay [Re: sirreal]
    #1326028 - 02/22/03 06:05 AM (21 years, 30 days ago)

I'm not saying that was right what they did, but I also mentioned that several Roman emperors had male lovers. I should also mention that in ancient Japan, it was common and acceptable for married men to pick up male prostitutes. While people breeding with the opposite sex has been the norm since the dawn of mankind, in many cultures(such as the ancient Greco-Roman world), bisexuality has been the norm.


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"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire

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Offlinesirreal
devoid
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Re: Being Gay [Re: silversoul7]
    #1326031 - 02/22/03 06:07 AM (21 years, 30 days ago)

I did not think that you thought it was allright. Just a bad example. The other ones you gave are better.


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I may not always tell the truth, but atleast I'm honest
-----------

I see what everyone is saying. It is so hard to form an opinion when you see both sides so clearly!

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Anonymous #1

Re: Being Gay [Re: sirreal]
    #1326170 - 02/22/03 07:49 AM (21 years, 30 days ago)

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OfflineMetaShroom
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Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1326581 - 02/22/03 12:11 PM (21 years, 30 days ago)

what the others said. check out some gay bars/clubnights and look around online at places like www.outpages.com or gay.com Just try to make some gay friends at first, some people who you can be yourself around.


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Anonymous #1

Post deleted by Administrator [Re: ]
    #1326720 - 02/22/03 01:21 PM (21 years, 30 days ago)


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Anonymous #1

Re: Being Gay *DELETED* [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #1326756 - 02/22/03 01:39 PM (21 years, 30 days ago)

Post deleted by Ripple1958

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InvisibleSkorpivoMusterion
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Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1326981 - 02/22/03 04:22 PM (21 years, 30 days ago)

Steve...you should read the post I just recently posted in the spirituality section called "Knower and Known"....Also, if you dont have AOL....GET IT! AOL is such a perfect haven for gay people....there are TONS and TONS of chats for nearly EVERY FRICKIN city in USA for gay people....

Last, but not least...I want to repeat what a very wise psychiatrist/friend once told me..."EVERYBODY has *CERTAIN bisexual *TENDENCIES, they're just to afraid to admit it"


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Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.

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OfflineSheepish
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Re: Being Gay [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #1326991 - 02/22/03 04:30 PM (21 years, 30 days ago)

Quote:

"EVERYBODY has *CERTAIN bisexual *TENDENCIES, they're just to afraid to admit it"




That's quite true. I've had my share of tendencies towards both sexes, but I've never really acted on them. There's nothing wrong with flirting with an idea in your head. Beauty can be found in both sexes and not everyone can admit that a man is attractive etc. Women seem to have no problem saying that another woman is extremely attractive or beautiful, but how often have you heard men say that another man is attractive.
As for Steve? Don't be afraid to step out of the closet. A lot of people think that since you're gay, you're going to hit on them, and they get afraid and repulsed and try to avoid you. Sad really, but there are a lot of people out there who are very accepting. A while back a friend that I knew came out, but most of us were like "It's OK, it doesn't bother us at all" and helped him be proud of who he was. You may lose some friends, but think of it as seperating the true friends from the fake.

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Anonymous #1

Re: Being Gay [Re: Sheepish]
    #1327003 - 02/22/03 04:36 PM (21 years, 30 days ago)

Post Deleted a la Obscurity

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OfflineSheepish
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Re: Being Gay [Re: ]
    #1327005 - 02/22/03 04:37 PM (21 years, 30 days ago)

Wearing a dress once doesn't mean I'm a full time cross dresser.

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InvisibleShaw

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Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1327163 - 02/22/03 06:16 PM (21 years, 30 days ago)

No fuckin way. I wouldn't have guessed it. Was I the only one who didn't know? We talked in the shroomery aim chat room. Wern't you the long haired guy who was into heavy metal?, or was that the other guy?


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InvisibleRebelSteve33
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Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1327255 - 02/22/03 07:07 PM (21 years, 30 days ago)

I just want to say thanks to everyone who replied.

I read through everything that everyone had to say, and it really made me feel better. There are a lot of great people here at the Shroomery!

-RebelSteve



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Namaste.

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InvisibleSkorpivoMusterion
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Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1327317 - 02/22/03 07:30 PM (21 years, 30 days ago)

It's all good =)....btw, did you read my post "Knower and Known" in the Spirituality and Philosophy section?


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OfflinegeokillsA
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Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1327413 - 02/22/03 08:10 PM (21 years, 30 days ago)

Hey Steve, 

I wanted to thank you for such a great thread!

It was a great read with many thoughtful responses, and homosexuality is definitely nothing to stress over. Best wishes and take care ~ :grin:
   


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InvisibleG a n j a
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Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1327602 - 02/22/03 09:56 PM (21 years, 30 days ago)

Hi steve
Soundslike your moving in the right direction by disgusing things in the open(well here anyway :smile: )The world is changing thought be it slowly.The advise of others to contact like minded people is a good starting point.
Gaydar
This place should help you out a bit i hope.Good luck with life mate. 


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Re: Being Gay [Re: Sheepish]
    #1328148 - 02/23/03 06:03 AM (21 years, 29 days ago)

You cant say "everybody" does just because you do.


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I hope all bleeding hearts Die from bloodloss!!!!!

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Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1328564 - 02/23/03 10:07 AM (21 years, 29 days ago)

Nobody should ever feel they have to hide their sexuality from others

Those who would look down on you for being gay are people you shouldn't be hanging out with anyway, so who cares what they think of you, they obviously aren't good people

Remember, it's not YOU that is ever the problem, it's them

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Re: Being Gay [Re: HB]
    #1328591 - 02/23/03 10:18 AM (21 years, 29 days ago)

This is a great thread, thanks for the post steve, it just confirms my belief in the goodness of this community, or at least the great majority of it. Just like in life there will always be a few jerks and they will get the majority of the attention.

Shine on


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The bus came by and I got on that's when it all began!


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OfflineSheepish
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Re: Being Gay [Re: fadedpinkwings]
    #1329296 - 02/23/03 04:09 PM (21 years, 29 days ago)

It's a generalisation, and of course, exceptions to the rule.

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InvisibleAsante
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Re: Being Gay [Re: ]
    #1329973 - 02/23/03 09:37 PM (21 years, 29 days ago)

I like to go way back to something Mr. Mushrooms has said...

"...Finding a way to become heterosexual". I really don't think it works that way. The people Mr Mushrooms knew who've found peace thru this were likely BI-sexuals primarily. For a super-straight guy or a truely lesbian woman the concept of loving and merging with :wink: another male would hold little appeal. Note I really don't mean disgust, It just wouldn't sound appealing to them.

The same holds true for a super-gay & a woman: it would be against their nature to do so and it'll most likely result in frustration, not peace.

There are alot of christian groups that claim they can turn gays straight. This is utter nonsense. One will only find peace if one is compatible enough with gay/straightness. There are lots of gays who "do as they're told" and marry, have kids etc, then find they're living a lie that makes both partners unhappy and these couples divorce. It's tragic, but illustrates my point that people cannot go against their nature & expect to find true peace with it.

I think you've got STRAIGHT on the left, and GAY on the right side of the spectrum, with BISEXUALITY to varying degrees in the middle. Now I think that alot of str8 and gay people are alot more to the middle than they like to think, they just don't know it. Exploring the true nature of your own sexuality means entering Taboo areas & may lead to culturally/personally upsetting findings. I agree that all people likely are AC/DC, but to varying degrees. If one has too little affinity for a certain side, it's unlikely to find peace there.

A few years ago I was on a solotrip on 20mg of 2CB. (mescaline analogue) I got CEV of an incredably erotic nature, which isn't strange to me :smirk:
Suddenly I got a tremendous shock: It was MALE/FEMALE sex :shocked: Now before I had considered myself to be 100% gay, but now there was no closing my eyes to the naked fact that I had at least one bisexual bone in my body! I LOL'd for 5 minutes extatically, having discovered a whole new dimension to myself.
I really think it's just a few % tho: I'm a man's man!

Alot of str8 guys/girls get this too. For them its usually quite upsetting, because they're dropping out of the mainstream culture of western society. Stanislav Grof, a brilliant LSD psychotherapist, noted that "homosexual panic" (the fear of being, becoming an Assgoblin like yours truely) was among the top-5 of most frequent causes of in-trip crisis. Tons of so-called str8 people harbour hidden bisexual tendencies. People: there's nothing wrong with some AC/DC fantasies every now & then, but if you suffer from not acting on them, you're missing out on an important part of yourself that's in dire need of exploration.

The net carries tons & tons of info's, porns and what have you not's on any of these three flavours. There's the ILGA and tons of orgs. But remember one thing: the virtual world is one thing, the real world another. Allthough you'll be able to dick your computer in a few years, those chips & pics never can provide you with LOVE. And that's what it's all about, people:
L.O.V.E; Get It! 


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Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here

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InvisibleRoadkillM
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Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1330066 - 02/23/03 11:00 PM (21 years, 28 days ago)

hi...Steve

I'd like to start by saying that I am straight.
But...I am not a gay basher.
I have never been a gay basher and never will be.

When I was in the Military I was approched several times by gay men.
It made me feel uncomfortable...yet it made me feel good in a sense that I was attractive.
I didn't punch them or call them names....I was up front and told them I was straight and that I was not interested...which was fine with all of the guys that ever tried to pick up on me.

One guy in California that I met was very nice. (1981 was the year).
We met in a bar...he was friendly and started talking to me.
I was lonely and it was around Christmas time...and I was away from home.
He asked if I was in the Navy and I said yes...I had the short hair and the attitude...must have been obvious to him.
He told me he worked on the Navy base as a Civilian clerk.
We drank a few beers and ended up having a pizza together and talked.
Turned out the Bar keep was a friend of his and we got free beer.
We ended up going outside the bar and smoking some weed...and talked more.
He told me he thought I was very handsome...and that he was wondering if I was gay...I told him I wasn't....he asked me if he upset me....I said no he hadn't upset me...but there was no way I was going home with him...lolzz
He told me that he liked me as a person and that my open mindedness was wonderful.
He invited me to a party that he was having at his house and told me that there would be alot of pretty women there that I might like...and that might like me.
In the back of my mind I was a little worried about showing up to a party at this guys house and getting ass raped by a bunch of gay guys...but I'm a pretty big guy and can take care of myself so I decided to go to the party.
I had a great time and met some really nice people...gay and straight.
I met this gal there and we hit it off really well...I dated her for about 6 months...she worked with him. :grin:
I got to know him over the year that I spent in California...he was a great guy.
He never tried to pick up on me again and we got to know each other a little.

What I'm getting at is this... It doesn't matter what your sexual orientation is...All that matters is what you are on the inside as a person.
It's just like racism...color of people shouldn't matter.
You shouldn't judge a book by its cover...you need to read what's on the inside.
After you read the book...then judge!

I wish you well and I hope that you will live the life style that makes you happy.
Life is too short to be misserable.
Be who you are...and do the best you can at everything you do.

If you ever need to talk....just send me a pm.
I'm a good listener.
 


--------------------
Laterz, Road

Who the hell you callin crazy?
You wouldn't know what crazy was if Charles Manson was eating froot loops on your front porch!


Brainiac said:
PM the names with on there names, that means they have mushrooms for sale.


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InvisiblePapaverS
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Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1330075 - 02/23/03 11:15 PM (21 years, 28 days ago)

First of all, let me say, that I did not read this entire thread, and my apologies to everyone that has posted in it...

Second of all, Steve, BE YOURSELF! That is the important thing! :laugh:

I have heard so much about the gay vs. non-gay thing -- especially having been immersed in the art world for some time. It doesn't really matter to most of us, who really matter, what your sexual preference is, so just be yourself! Celebrate your life, and make the most of it, as your life is a precious gift, and the only one you?ll get! :laugh:

Homosexuality and heterosexuality are two poles, which exist on a continuum, and are predicted only by and extremely complex interaction of biological and sociological variables. It is not a disease, and it is not always a life choice. The reasons for preferring same sex partners is as complex as human physiology, and social complexity -- it is as deep as the sea, and as ungraspable as the stars, so just be yourself! If someone gives you a hard time, then just remember that their ignorance is just as far out of their hands, as your sexual preference is may be out of yours... :smile:

I?ll bottom-line it for you: BE YOURSELF, and make the most of YOUR LIFE! Fuck the doomed, and the ignorant, as they?re really not worth your time! :cool:


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Anonymous #1

Re: Being Gay [Re: Asante]
    #1330116 - 02/24/03 12:05 AM (21 years, 28 days ago)

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OfflineGagePLoungin
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Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1332547 - 02/24/03 05:43 PM (21 years, 28 days ago)

Steve, be proud, be strong, be yourself. Accepting yourself is the first step in gaining the acceptance of others. How much does it really matter if you're gay or not? People make to big a deal of sexuallity. Posting this thread took real guts, man. Be yourself and if some people don't accept it, fuck 'em!!!! Hey, it's a good way to find out who your real friends are. All that matters in the very short time we're here is being the best person we can be - the details just add flavor!

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OfflineKingCobWeb
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Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1332898 - 02/24/03 09:57 PM (21 years, 28 days ago)

Quote:

I hate being gay.

I hate having to hide the fact that I'm gay.

It makes me feel isolated.

It makes me feel like I am lying to everyone I know because I am holding back this large part of who I am. It makes me feel like I'm lying to myself!




1) They cant catch you if you don't run
2) They cant find you out if you don't hide.
3) As much as it might be frightening, or temporaraly painful, the loss of those whos judgements you fear are no losses at all. You are better off without those people in your life.
4) You are not alone, by any means.
5) It pays to advertise. If you wanna sell it, then put up the sign.
6) You do not have to be gay to have and enjoy sex with someone of the same gender....But it's probably a waste of time, and too much trouble to try to talk that cute jock at the club into "expirimenting" with you. (Besides, eventually so many of these "straight" guys will get drunk enough to come asking YOU those uncomfortable questions with propositions...and it is usually best just to politely say no...especially if you work with them, or see them every day.)
7) Protect yourself. Buy a lot of condoms, and a gun, theres still a lot of real lunatics in the world: http://www.godhatesfags.com
8) It is far more important to be yourself, and be who you are rather then try to live up to or engage in the typical stereotypes.
9) Karaoke is bad, ok? Especially for gay and lesbian people, especially in Gay bars doing lots of show tunes.....this is what causes more divisions and animosity between Gays, Straights, Lesbians, and their brothers and sisters. Just say no to Karaoke.
10) Wishfull thinking often clouds the Gaydar. It is better to ask an embarassing question then to grab the wrong crotch.



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Anonymous #1

Re: Being Gay [Re: KingCobWeb]
    #1335590 - 02/25/03 04:01 PM (21 years, 27 days ago)

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InvisibleEvolving
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Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1337907 - 02/26/03 12:19 PM (21 years, 26 days ago)

Hi RebelSteve, I don't know what your political philosophy is but I have gone to many libertarian oriented functions and have met a good number of gay people who were not at all flamers. Why, one guy I had been hanging out with caught me off guard by asking me to spend some intimate time with him (I had no idea). I was rather surprised and uncomfortable but it shocked my out of my shyness to go talk to that beautiful girl who later became my wife. I will forever be indebted to that fellow...

Please don't hate who you are, there's no advantage in that. You seem to me to be a good, intelligent person and would make a good friend. When you learn to accept yourself and feel comfortable with who you are, others are more likely to pick up on that as well and see it as a positive trait.


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To call humans 'rational beings' does injustice to the term, 'rational.'  Humans are capable of rational thought, but it is not their essence.  Humans are animals, beasts with complex brains.  Humans, more often than not, utilize their cerebrum to rationalize what their primal instincts, their preconceived notions, and their emotional desires have presented as goals - humans are rationalizing beings.

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OfflineShrewDigsby
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Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1343389 - 02/28/03 03:37 PM (21 years, 24 days ago)

My girlfriend's roommate, Mike, is gay. He's out and open about it, but is definitely not a flamer. You'd never think he was gay. He brings friends over that are more feminine acting, but I wouldn't say they're flamers either.

We live in chicago which is a very gay friendly city...compared to other parts of the country. Mike grew up in Central Illinois which I'm told is very conservitive like most of the midwest. He consciously decided to move to Chicago so he could live in an environment where he didn't feel he needed to hide being gay...mostly for safety and the way people would treat him if they knew in Central Illinois.

I don't know how old you are, but from what you described in your first post it seems like either HS or college. At some point in your young 20's you should just decide that you're done hiding it. It's a good time cuz you'll naturally move on w/ your life and make new friend while departing your old ones. When that day comes, just be honest w/ the new people you meet in your life. I think things will work out for you.

Personally, I think openly gay people have really gotten it together upstairs cuz they were forced to face something, and come out if it w/ a better understanding about who they are and where they stand.


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Marijuana is a horticultural plant.  Hemp is an industrial weed.  I believe they were both provided to us by GOD to use and enjoy.

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Offlinejarby
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Re: Being Gay [Re: G a n j a]
    #1359498 - 03/09/03 02:48 AM (21 years, 15 days ago)

Hi Steve,
I guess the main question of your topic is "Can anyone relate to me?" And the answer is yes, every single non-flaming gay person out there (including myself) goes through the exact same thing. It is very frustrating.

Its terrible having to hide it, but I know for a fact that if I told, my close friends would disown me, as well as the many other people I somewhat know from my school. That's why I'm waiting until college to come out, that way you can still have fun partying now (munching) rather than sitting at home alone every weekend.

Some of the most annoying parts about pretending not to be gay is having to listen to your friends go on and on about chicks, and ask you who you think is hot and stuff. It's fucking annoying as hell. And then when they jokingly call each other faggots, or make fun of other people and call them homo's and stuff.

I wish there were a way that we gay people could instantly tell if someone else is gay without having to ask first. I mean there are some people that when you talk to them, it almost seems like they're flurting with you in a small way, but if you were to ask them, and they weren't, you'd probably feel like shit. It's so frustrating knowing that while a lot of people are going out and dating and stuff, we have to wait until we're older to find other gay people.

It's all society's fault that all this has happened. It'd be so great if in life there were no secrets and everyone was as accepting as the people here at the shroomery.

But one thing to remember is that there are tons and tons of other people like you out there, all feeling the exact same way. One in nine males are said to be gay, so just think, when you enter a room, there in all likelihood is another gay person in there.

Good luck.

Edited by jarby (03/09/03 02:50 AM)

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Invisiblematts
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[Re: jarby]
    #1359536 - 03/09/03 03:22 AM (21 years, 15 days ago)


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InvisibleCosmicJokeM
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Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1539149 - 05/11/03 02:21 PM (20 years, 10 months ago)

If you ever find yourself passing through Columbus, OH , then please hit me up with a PM. Not that I'm looking for a trick, I already have a "bear"friend. But , I can introduce you to a vast world of long haired, wild bearded free-spirited gay hippies, beatniks, bikers, psychedelic hepcats etc.
Gay pride here will be at the end of June, keep that in mind.



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Everything is better than it was the last time.  I'm good.

If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.

It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence.

I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too.  If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.

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InvisibleXlea321
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Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1539287 - 05/11/03 03:29 PM (20 years, 10 months ago)

Read Joe Ortons diaries.


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Don't worry, B. Caapi

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OfflineStrumpling
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Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1539567 - 05/11/03 05:39 PM (20 years, 10 months ago)

"I hate being gay.
I hate having to hide the fact that I'm gay.
It makes me feel isolated."
"I don't want to let them know that I am if they aren't."

dude Steve!!

I'm not gay but I don't have a problem with homosexuality - I don't know if you should be as nervous as you are, man..... I've had gay guys kind of hit on me before and honestly its no big deal - unless these people are fuckin assholes, they'll probably do like I did and simply say something like "hey man I'm not gay but good luck tonight.. I'm sure I'll see you around"

I think homophobia exists only when a homosexual is very insecure - like I've met gay dudes who are really nervous and like just intimidated, its like they're afraid to interact with me because they're afraid I'll get pissed and call them a homo and tell them to fuck off or something...... The gay guys I've met (hey I live near hollywood..) who have confidence and aren't nervous and self-conscious seem to have much better success in crowds and way more heterosexual friends..

But thats just my personal experience - I think if you realize your greatness and relax when you're out prowling, just like people of any other orientation, you'll see that confidence is k3Y. Settle down and smile :smile: You can do it


--------------------
Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE

Edited by Strumpling (05/11/03 05:40 PM)

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OfflineStrumpling
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Re: Being Gay [Re: Strumpling]
    #1539583 - 05/11/03 05:47 PM (20 years, 10 months ago)

I just realized a parallel that many of us can relate to.

When I first got interested in drugs, I had the same type of feelings about my drug-use that it seems you have about your homosexuality.

I'd go to a party stoned, and I'd be like "shit I hope these people don't find out I'm stoned because people don't like drug-addicts."

I was looking at it from the complete wrong perspective! I've finally realized that dammit I'm a drug-user!! Dammit I'm proud of it!! Dammit who wants to get high?!?!!!

heh a little change of perspective goes a long way :smile: The non-drug-users don't seem to care nearly as much as I thought they would have, just as it seems you have an idea that non-gay men may have some type of major objection to your preferences, when in reality I don't know if anybody really cares nearly as much as it may seem.

You're gay. Come on if you're going that direction you should stand up and be proud of it! "I love men and I love that I love men!" heh lol come on man I think the discomfort you sense from heteros is more stemming from your own discomfort... if this isn't making sense, but still sounds interesting, I can put it in many other ways :wink:


--------------------
Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE

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OfflineDailyPot
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Re: Being Gay [Re: Bavet]
    #1539600 - 05/11/03 05:56 PM (20 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Dude you don't need to be gay  I mean can u honestly say You don't find hot beautiful women attractive? 



Quote:

I think there are only two ways for Steve to find peace.  He either needs to become more acquainted with the gay community and lifestyle or he needs to find a way to become heterosexual.  Either of those paths may result in peace.  I have known homosexuals that have chosen either path to peace.



Homosexuality isn't something you choose, I dont know many people that would choose it. The woman might look attractive but they just dont get gays sexually aroused anymore than a male model would you :wink: Just the way chick automaticlly look good and catch your eye the same is reverse for them.

Quote:

being gay is not an easy thing, but don't hide it!! 



Umm, I partially disagree, depending on age. If you're still in highschool I wouldn't tell anyone except (maybe) my best friend. Things will change when you get older, out of highschool alot more people come out. Just chill out and make friends, think about it, you could find a guy for every 20 friends you have :tongue:

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OfflineStrumpling
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Re: Being Gay [Re: DailyPot]
    #1539660 - 05/11/03 06:36 PM (20 years, 10 months ago)

I don't know exactly how old Steve is, but according to my intuition he is well past the high school drama bullshit :smile: and into the "real world."


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Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE

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OfflineDailyPot
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Re: Being Gay [Re: Strumpling]
    #1539815 - 05/11/03 08:13 PM (20 years, 10 months ago)

If he's in the real world I say go ahead. I think most people just do it that way.

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Invisiblemantis
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Re: Being Gay [Re: GagePLoungin]
    #1592694 - 05/30/03 10:44 AM (20 years, 9 months ago)

i'm straight... that's normal
some people are gay or bi... that's normal as well

there are homosexuals and heterosexuals everywhere in the animal kingdom... that's about as NORMAL as it gets!

it's a matter of preference, i like girls w/ long hair and little makeup... some guys like other guys. it's just like a guy who prefers women w/ blonde hair.


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OfflineSWAY
SurrealPhantasmicSubConscious

Registered: 04/11/03
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Re: Being Gay [Re: mantis]
    #1593565 - 05/30/03 02:37 PM (20 years, 9 months ago)

its a trend to dislike gays kinda, if you're in school then you will probably feel pressure to agree with them(your friends, the other kids) that gayness isnt accepted even if you dont mind it yourself ahead of time, its like peer pressure there

oh and btw there was a thing invented called the internet, we're using it now, its a great way of communication! and a great way to find people too if you want!
i bet there would be alot of people that may be just like you if you feel like your far different than the majority and that nobody understands you

SWAY


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?People keep searching for happines in the outside, what they don't know is that it's in the inside?
?In an infinite universe, anything that can exist, must exist? Bear
?To think too long about doing a thing often becomes its undoing? Eva Young

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InvisibleLe_Canard
The Duk Abides

Registered: 05/16/03
Posts: 94,392
Loc: Earthfarm 1
Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1594643 - 05/30/03 07:44 PM (20 years, 9 months ago)

RebelSteve, I applaud (and admire) your bravery in coming out and seeking support here! :smile: What more can I say? It sounds like you're on the right path, and I've seen some great advice given here on this thread! :smile:
Heres my personal take on the matter: Although I'm heterosexual, I feel that what two consenting adults do private is no ones business but their own. Ignore the "gay bashers" and homophobes and see them for what they are: stupid, pathetic hate filled people, more to be pitied than anything...
Good luck in finding yourself and other like minded individual, and all the best to you!  :laugh: Keep us posted on how things work out!
 

Edited by Le_Canard (05/30/03 07:46 PM)

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InvisibleAcidic_SlothM
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Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1595652 - 05/31/03 02:41 AM (20 years, 9 months ago)

dude, i didn't know you were gay!!

fuck yeah!! i love gay men.. =) if you lived closer, i would so try and hook you up with someone. i know several gay guys who would totally find you uber hot. =D


--------------------
-- Accept my heart warming gift of TREE SCRATCHIES!!! I absolve thee!! --

JaP: 30,000 lines of gay, cock, and fag can't be wrong
Ped: only in #shroomery is "smuggle opium in her ass" followed by "i don't want shitty opium" which is followed by " *** Joins: PENISSQUAD"
--
JaP: What would this place be without random sluts?
JaP: Nothing, I tell you.


:heart: :todcasil: :heart:

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OfflineRaedon
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Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1597286 - 05/31/03 11:35 PM (20 years, 9 months ago)

I'm on the other side of this story..

I'm the hopeless homophobe. Seeing men holding hands bothers me to no end and leaves me feeling descusted. I don't understand men wanting to be with men, but I do understand not wanting to be lonely. Hope everything works out and you find happiness.

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OfflineStrumpling
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Re: Being Gay [Re: Raedon]
    #1597292 - 05/31/03 11:37 PM (20 years, 9 months ago)

its "disgusted," homophobe :smile:


--------------------
Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE

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OfflineRaedon
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Re: Being Gay [Re: Strumpling]
    #1597303 - 05/31/03 11:40 PM (20 years, 9 months ago)

that to.. :P haha

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InvisiblePinhead
Oregano
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Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1598395 - 06/01/03 02:31 PM (20 years, 9 months ago)

Bottom line is that you are who you are.Start being comfortable with the fact that you're gay.I don't think that any of us got to choose our sexual preference.

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Invisiblepoke smot!
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Re: Being Gay *DELETED* [Re: Pinhead]
    #1598574 - 06/01/03 03:24 PM (20 years, 9 months ago)

Post deleted by poke smot!

Reason for deletion: x


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InvisiblePinhead
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Re: Being Gay [Re: poke smot!]
    #1603129 - 06/02/03 10:26 PM (20 years, 9 months ago)

Sure, I felt like fucking some guy up the ass once.. I did'nt.. Even if I had, I don't think this would qualify me as "Gay" Why are we so into labeling people?

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InvisiblePhencyclidine
Molecule

Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 2,915
Re: Being Gay [Re: sirreal]
    #1603464 - 06/03/03 12:50 AM (20 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

I do not need somebody to "compel" me into thinking that it is natural to be attracted to someone of the opposite sex and to have children. Mankind would not have survived without this natural "compulsion".




Your logic is flawed. It would be possible for the race to be carried on if everyone was bisexual. In that case, it could be "natural" to be attracted to both the "opposite" sex and the same sex.

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Anonymous #1

Re: Being Gay [Re: Phencyclidine]
    #1604194 - 06/03/03 10:26 AM (20 years, 9 months ago)

- Post History Deleted Upon User's Request -

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InvisibleAcidic_SlothM
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Re: Being Gay [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1607248 - 06/04/03 05:42 AM (20 years, 9 months ago)

ok... don't hate being gay, hun. it's who you are, don't try to be something you're not. i know for a fact that you are a wonderful, beautiful person. any man would be lucky enough to have you. hell.. i'd get a sex change if i could. :wink: hehe

what i'm trying to say is, just come out with it. i know it's hard, and you could lose some friends, but do you really want friends that won't accept you for YOU?

just because you're gay, doesn't make you any less of a man. don't feel isolated becuase of your sexual preference. don't be ashamed of who you are, steve. let the whole fucking world know who you are, and where you're coming from. i promise that if you let at least one person know (your closest friend) that you will feel the burden being lifted.


or you could always move here, i know several gay guys that would die to have someone as sexy and sweet as you. :wink:


--------------------
-- Accept my heart warming gift of TREE SCRATCHIES!!! I absolve thee!! --

JaP: 30,000 lines of gay, cock, and fag can't be wrong
Ped: only in #shroomery is "smuggle opium in her ass" followed by "i don't want shitty opium" which is followed by " *** Joins: PENISSQUAD"
--
JaP: What would this place be without random sluts?
JaP: Nothing, I tell you.


:heart: :todcasil: :heart:

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InvisibleWhite_Widow
Lost fairy

Registered: 07/04/02
Posts: 86
Loc: Sweet Old Europe
Re: Being Gay [Re: Acidic_Sloth]
    #1620170 - 06/09/03 07:37 AM (20 years, 9 months ago)

Ditto!!!

And Bravo! Acidic_Sloth

I know myself that "coming out" is hard and painfull if you're lonly, but I'd love to through the thrill of it all again (and sometimes I do, but people is so "progressive" here now that it's even trandy to have gay friends LOL).

Rebel, simply let your mind settle down... and don't interfer in any "logical" way... You'll find what gives you more pleasure and makes you feel really confortable, and it doesn't mean that'll be definitive yet!!!

Look at me: I'm one of those butchy gay guys, bald and hairy, with a wonderful boyfriend... but I love boobies just as ?poke smot!? does.

Life is just like this...


--------------------
"Love is the law; love under will..."

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InvisibleNariusFractal
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Re: Being Gay [Re: geokills]
    #1623739 - 06/10/03 01:30 PM (20 years, 9 months ago)

Anytime someone says "Everyone has or does blah blah," then you can safely bet they partake or believe in that blah blah.  Example:  My friend who smokes pot all the time and is a huge stoner says "Everyone smokes pot" and while many do, there are many more who don't.  To him though, it seems everyone does. 

Show me a man who says "Everyone cheats on their wives" and I"ll show you a man who cheats on his wife.

I guess my point is that generalities are misleading and not an accurate representation of reality  :grin:


--------------------
You are the microcosm of the macrocosm.

Edited by sheister (06/10/03 01:33 PM)

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Invisiblesilversoul7
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Re: Being Gay [Re: NariusFractal]
    #1624988 - 06/10/03 09:44 PM (20 years, 9 months ago)

"Everyone is gay"--Kurt Cobain  :shocked:


--------------------


"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire

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InvisibleBoppity604
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Re: Being Gay [Re: silversoul7]
    #1626118 - 06/11/03 10:40 AM (20 years, 9 months ago)

RebelSteve:  Sorry I found this thread so late from the time of the original post...but hopefully you've been becoming more comfortable with your situation.  Just wanted to let you know that I too am gay, and by no means what you call a "flamer."  I do want to point out, however, that homophobia is not limited to non-gay people. 

I can understand why you might not be able to identify with "queens" or "flamers"...but you need to ask yourself why there's a repulsion to it in the first place?  I know plenty of "flaming" heterosexual men in the world...it doesn't make them gay.  After reading through this entire thread I would like to make a few comments:

1. Sexuality as Polarity.  To even have to plot sexual orientation in such a way, in my mind, misses the whole point.  Orientation has NOTHING to do with behavior.  I've known I was gay my entire life.  Orientation is about the emotional and spiritual aspects of character that we take comfort and solice in our lover.  I have never had a crush on a girl or woman in my life.  I have never wanted to be with a woman sexually.  This doesn't mean I don't think a woman is sexy or "hot"...I think women are very beautiful...I just don't have the inner impulse to want to be intimate with them.  The thought of sex with a woman doesn't disgust me or repulse me...it's just an act I am not desirous for.  Orientation has nothing to do with behavior.  Straight men in prison can have sex with each other for lack of any other outlet of sexual tension, that doesn't mean they've "become" gay.  Likewise, I could have sex with a woman to conceive a child but it wouldn't suddenly mean I "became" straight.  Orientation is part of the basic make up of our psyche; a trait I personally believe is genetic...but that's for another discussion thread.  :smile:

2. Coming Out:  Self acceptance is the key issue with coming out.  It's way easier to stand up in front of a room full of strangers and scream out "I'm here, I'm queer, get used to it!" than it is to go home, look yourself in the eye in the mirror and say "I am gay, and I love myself."  Coming out is a process that is unique for each gay individual and can't be forced.  RebelSteve, don't hate yourself for being the way you are...embrace yourself for being the way you are.  You are in control of your own happiness.  Nobody in the world can make you happy; only you can make yourself happy.  Coming out to yourself is the most important thing you can do in order to sustain a healthy life; regardless of any social situations...you need to be happy and secure internally first.  You're not the first person going through your situation, and you won't be the last either.  Hopefully by now you've branched out, even if only online, to gay chat sites or clubs/groups.  If you're in school, you can always check with the counseling services to see if there's a GBL-related support group.  Solidarity is very important and just being around other people who are "like you" makes it easier to finally accept yourself and your situation with positive feelings about it.

3. Tolerance vs Acceptance:  To "tolerate" something does nothing in the way of learning to just accept it.  Tolerating means to "put up with"...as if it's to say "it's still wrong to be gay, but we have to put up with it...cause that's the right thing to do."  From reading many of the remarks and replies on this board over the last two years, it's quite obvious who's "young" and who's not (and I don't just mean the support section of the board).  RebelSteve...take sly comments from kids with a grain of salt.  The majority of posters/members of the shroomery community are a great source of solidarity and support.  I think you'll find out real fast that in the real world, strangers are more willing to accept you if they see you accept yourself.  Be proud of who you are for the sake of simply being yourself.  You don't need to be anything but honest with yourself...and that will translate into truthfulness with others that will translate back to you from them as acceptance and respect.

Finally, regardless of our orientations I think it is most important (especially for the younger kids out there just "coming into life") to realize the character of an individual is what matters most.  Respect and Love should be genuine...not forced.  If you fear gay people because you think we're going to gang up and attack you...you really need to step back and examine your own perceptions of sexual behaviour.  That which we find at fault with others is always a reflection of those apsects of our own identity that we don't like or refuse to change.  That doesn't mean all homophobes are gay; what it does mean isthat homophobia stems from a hatred based on misguided perceptions of sexuality and sexual behavior.  If a straight man thinks gay men all want to just get into his pants, I'd hate to be a girl in a party with that same dude; chances are he's only looking to get into the pants of a girl there.  See the point?  Don't judge a person by the social "group" they openly belong to (gay, republican, MADD, etc) but be more concerned for getting to know that person and their character before passing any type of judgement.  I'd much rather hang out with decent and respectable people who belong to "groups" I personally don't belong to...than to hang out with a room full of hateful and self-pitying people in the groups that I do associate myself with.

RS: If you ever need someone to chat with...hit me up in a message or look for Boppity 604 on AIM.

Love & Light (to all),

Boppity 

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Offline_Shrew_
Grandaddy-Underneaththe WeepingWillow

Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 1,717
Last seen: 9 years, 8 months
Re: Being Gay [Re: Boppity604]
    #1670702 - 06/29/03 12:56 AM (20 years, 8 months ago)

I work in an office w/ 6 gay guys. They're really touchy feely and although that crosses my comfort zone a bit at times, I realize it's harmless. They're all great co workers and friends...we're all different in many ways. I wish you didn't feel so badly.

I don't know your age, but if you have the opportunity to move to a gay friendly city when you're older...I'd recommend it. My friend did that. He moved from central Illinois to Chicago and the difference for him was as dramatic as day and night. He's happily openly gay and so are all of his many gay friends that I've met over the course of the past 2 years.


--------------------
_Shrew_

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InvisibleMOTH
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Registered: 06/06/03
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Re: Being Gay [Re: _Shrew_]
    #1670872 - 06/29/03 03:09 AM (20 years, 8 months ago)

Hmm...this is a wonderful thread.  I thought I would contribute to it with my own situation.  I have been with a truly darling man for 1 year and 8 months now, and there is no doubt that I want to spend the rest of my life with him.  Thinking of how much I love him makes me want to cry.  We have great sex and a very passionate intellectual connection.  I cherish him so much.  He supports me in everything. 

My issue is that I am very fervently sexually attracted to women.  I adore them.  I like the fierce vixens, the shy homely girls...all of them are attractive to me.  I don't know why.  I have sexual thoughts about them all the time, even, I admit, when I am having sex with my boyfriend.  :blush:  But I have never even been sexual with a woman, so I wonder how I would feel if I actually 'did it'.  I've just kissed my best friends and minor touching and stuff. 

I asked Kev, my boyfriend, if we could have a threesome with another woman, and he said we could if I really wanted to.  I don't think I would willingly want to betray my boyfriend though that way...cause thats how I would feel.  I think my attraction for women is purely sexual, as I could never imagine myself having a relationship with one, since I am with Kev. 

So anyway, I am rather convinced I am bisexual and I am almost to the point where I want to tell my parents about it.  When I turn 21 (in a few months) I will start venturing to gay bars with my boyfriend and check out the scene and see how I feel about it.  It is great to know that there are many other people at the Shroomery who are going through sort of the same thing.  So, thanks!  :smile:

When it comes to homophobes, I feel pretty belligerant to them.  It is one thing about not sharing an attraction, and quite another when you condemn it, IMO.  I feel really defiant towards them in fact.  I'm so grateful that Kev is open to my various sexual attractions.  I love him so much... :heart: :heart: :heart:

Anyway, good luck to all the people still struggling to deal with their sexuality, or pondering on whether or not to come out.  Just remember to have faith.  :smile: 

truly,
Shade

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OfflineRedNucleus
Causal Observer
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Registered: 02/26/01
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Re: Being Gay [Re: Acidic_Sloth]
    #1686723 - 07/04/03 04:09 PM (20 years, 8 months ago)

AS is smart :thumbup:

It's not your job to pretend you're not gay. What others think of that is not your problem, and of course not your fault. It isn't important. Please don't worry this much about that


--------------------
Namaste

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InvisibleAcidic_SlothM
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Re: Being Gay [Re: RedNucleus]
    #1687901 - 07/05/03 11:39 AM (20 years, 8 months ago)

yes ...




no, i'm not. i was talking out of my ass; i tend to do that a lot.


--------------------
-- Accept my heart warming gift of TREE SCRATCHIES!!! I absolve thee!! --

JaP: 30,000 lines of gay, cock, and fag can't be wrong
Ped: only in #shroomery is "smuggle opium in her ass" followed by "i don't want shitty opium" which is followed by " *** Joins: PENISSQUAD"
--
JaP: What would this place be without random sluts?
JaP: Nothing, I tell you.


:heart: :todcasil: :heart:

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