I remember sitting on a porch in the rocky mountains tucked away in the woods with my childhood friend Zack. Zack and I go way back to elementary school.. Years later when his fiancee killed herself in June of 2011 I refused to leave his side. In effect, I moved to colorado and lived homeless in my car in a school parking lot for 6 months. I couldn't leave his side but his family didn't have space for me. I understood. I know it probably seems weird they wouldnt make space for me but I stayed there a few nights and couch surfed 50% of the other nights.. The rest of the time I was in the car in the parking lot.
Well, I fell in love with Colorado, the energies from the mountains were captivating and that in its own was a drug.
So I began traveling 12 hours from state to state a few times over the following year and in my most recent visit (6 months ago) I met my fiance. Upon the visit though, I met up with Zack. Zack offered me shrooms and I was all in. We drank tea and I ate a peanutbutter and shroom sandwich... unsure of the amount but I think it was close to 4 grams between the tea and the sandwich.
We moved to the porch, the crisp air of the Earth clung to my skin.. revitalizing me. I felt fresh.. clean and clear.
As the night progressed, my eyes opened to the world in front of me. There Zack was, living like a hermit in the mountains full of the most relaxing energies and giving me all the advice and kind words I'd ever needed to hear.. Guiding me in my rise as we sat on a futon mattress on the porch. As my trip started to occur, I was paranoid of the woods that surrounded the house. I kept looking over expecting to see the eyes of viking warriors (yes viking warriors) staring at me from behind the tall evergreens shadows. Then I thought about it.. and realized I wasn't afraid of seeing them, I was afraid of thinking I might see them then did some self reasoning and found I was paranoid of being paranoid and laughed myself into good vibes. Still sitting on the porch, zack and I got to talking, his fiance came up a few times but aside from that it was just wisdom and love.
Then the visuals
He had a single row of ever greens lining the front of his house, keeping it out of the roads view which was then silloetted by the snow covered mountain peaks a few miles away. The tree tops developed color changing euphoric spider weds that glistened and sparkled with such rhythmical notions. I watched as the tops of the ever greens turned into dragons heads howling at the stars, it was such a bitter sweet feeling of mourning and acceptance. They danced back and forth in the breeze, swaying in unison as they came together wrapped in these strings of life.
When the wind blew again they danced up to the stars, I saw the universe up there. New galaxies and life all connected by these fluctuating strings moving back and forth over and under and inside our world. I stared in wonder, my mind captivated by the meaning of life. Life in that moment was to love one another, be kind and just love. I felt alive, truly alive in that moment. lost in my reverie, I could hear Zack talking, it took some time but I was finally able to hear him as I returned to my mind. Zack was speaking, I can't recall much of what I had heard aside from 'Want to watch the moon be born?' And then I saw it. Just peaking over the valley between two mountains was the head of the moon. Energies seemed like electricity as they were flowing to the peaks of the mountains and the valley where the moon slowly rose skyward.
Watching as the energies traveled in transcendent intervals up the mountains, the moon rose more and more steadily like a shining platinum sphere of life and feeling and understanding. I felt like the moon understood me and Zack, like it knew what we went through and what I did to be sure he was ok. I felt comfort in the moon, more than I get from my mom or Zack's family or friends. The moon knew how to help me and it did. Suddenly.. every tension washed away from me in a river of relief, and I felt loved. I felt like I was going to be alright and everything was coming together. Everything was good. I had my best friend at my side, the girl I knew I was going to marry was on the other side of the mountain, I was surrounded by the mountains.. everything.. It was so alien to me. Peace of mind was shortly there after followed while I just felt. We returned to inside the house after several hours of sitting on the porch in the cold Colorado air. I laid down on the couch finally resting my mind with zack sitting on the arm of the beige couch. We spoke of mediocre things.. small talk that wrapped the night into a pretty present for my emotional capacity.. I nodded off staring a neon gorilla glowing under a black light. I awoke in the morning to Zack still awake on the couch beside me, he stayed up all night to be sure I was safe.
I will never forget that night.
Edited by Badaboom (03/08/13 05:14 PM)
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