Anonymous #1 said:

I dont talk to anyone, I dont have real friends, I dont have a gf and I lost my job. I just sit home alone , doing nothing.  I am not sure if I hate it or love it. I am not a people person, I dont feel comfortable around people , I can never get that connection. This "bro hug" you speak of, I cant imagine liking anyone that much.
I am new to this town.I would like to meet a girl, but who wants to be with a loser like me? sometimes I wonder how long I can live like this. I feel like I might go a little crazy, the walls are closing in on me and when I leave the house I feel people are staring at me, talking about me, and snickering. " look at that kid, he is so weird, he is always alone when I see him. I bet he is a creep".
even when I get the balls to be social I come off strange, I cant relate to anyone. people are so square. I grew up in a tough city, I am used to hanging with bad guys but they are all dead, in prison or disappeared and I no longer want to associate myself with that type of crowd.
but "normal" people are weird to Me, they all want to know what college I went to, I dont know anyone thats been to college. I grew up poor and around violence, these people around me,in this neighborhood, they are so white.  I am white also. but these people are strange, I am strange. I am very defensive. always ready to be fucked over or stabbed in the back, I have this tendacy for violance and paranoia that most people cannot relate with.
  I just have no place in this world. I am "that guy" .

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Anonymous #3 said:

MDMA will solve your social awkwardness problems. However, I'd suggest you find other weird people. I bet most people on this site feel more or less like that. I know I do, I don't mix well with most people usually ending up violently or sheer awkwardness ensues.

Anyway go to weird people's places

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Anonymous #1 said:

one thing right now? I wish I could be better at making friends and talking to girls. I want to be more secure with myself.

I see what your saying, take small steps. thats my problem I always took the fast road in life and it never lead me anywhere.

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Well, I am a girl so hi *waves*

Understanding things the way you have about small steps and your reflections on you difficulties doing that says to me that you are a very inteligent person.

The way you wrote your first post reminds me of one of my first posts on the forum which I wrote when I was finding life difficult.  And because of this, I know that there has been far far more gone on between the lines than what you have written, and you are talking about things that feel very deep and relate to lots of difficult experiences you have had throughout your life.  I have moved on a lot since I made that post, and you will yours.  Admittedly, I have had further agonies, but as a person I have changed and grown...infact, I need to listen to what I am saying here because I have been finding life tough and confusing in particular just recently myself.

Talking to girls.  I have found dating websites like OkCupid have been really good for allowing me the chance to talk to guys on a more personal level, not sexually personal, but emotionally and intellectually.  Had some really long email exchanges about our thoughts and values and views on life etc.  Was really nice, and I recommend you trying that to boost your confidence a bit.  Being there has also taught me, that actually, some of my low self esteem come from assumptions I make about guys and how they judge me...is it possible that some of your fears are based on the same?

Anonymous #1 said:

Anonymous #3 said:

MDMA will solve your social awkwardness problems. However, I'd suggest you find other weird people. I bet most people on this site feel more or less like that. I know I do, I don't mix well with most people usually ending up violently or sheer awkwardness ensues.

Anyway go to weird people's places

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I have used drugs to mask my problems in the past and it only made my life worse. I try to stay away from drugs now.

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Anonymous #6 said:

You are what they call a schizotypal.  I'm kinda like that too brah wanna be e-friends?

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Anonymous #1 said:

Sounds like you can relate to what I am going through.
As for girls, I feel like when I am talking to a girl all she is thinking is " wow how do I get out of this situation". Even if she is into me I dont believe it. I have been fucked over so many times I dont trust anyone.
I actually just got an OKCUPID account a few days ago, seems like thats the site all the shroomerites use. I never heard of it before.

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Anonymous #1 said:

BTW I dont have any mentally ill relatives.
I think its easy to label me but what I am going through is just the results of situations I have put myself in and cant figure out how to get out of.
Maybe I am crazy? you really got me thinking now.  but is anyone perfect? who are these elite perfect people that create labels for people who are not like them?

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The labelling gig is a ton of bull.  Especially ones such as BPD.  I was just talking with a friend (whose a prof in psychology) the other day about this very point....a little bit like newspaper astrology.  We are all unique, while some bits might seem similer its important not to let that justify a catagorisation in to a set of default characteristics...thats SO eugenic movement!

xxx

Anonymous #2 said:

Anonymous #1 said:

Sounds like you can relate to what I am going through.
As for girls, I feel like when I am talking to a girl all she is thinking is " wow how do I get out of this situation". Even if she is into me I dont believe it. I have been fucked over so many times I dont trust anyone.
I actually just got an OKCUPID account a few days ago, seems like thats the site all the shroomerites use. I never heard of it before.

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Yeah, as soon as you mention any insecurity....it becomes the bar upon which everything you do is measured on...even when unrelated. 

I have the same problesm believeing.  Some guy the other day had to stand me up, not because he didnt like me though.  When I spoke to him on the phone, I acted as if I was cool with it ("it" being him not liking me).  As it goes, we spoke again and he told me that really pissed him off because he did like me, and me doing that actually put him off a bit.  I cant win!  Most guys who stand you up will soften the blow with an excuse...I never actually considered he was telling the truth.  Back to the drawing boards on that one...I dont want to live constantly feeling as though my insecurities are pissing someone off, I recognise they might be annoying, but love is understanding...as if it is not enough me trying to work on them for myself..

Good luck with OkC, its a good place.

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Anonymous #9 said:

I am a loner. I sit at home most days but I actually do shit. I don't need people to make me happy (within reason, of course), I make myself happy. The few people I spend time with are people who make me happy and make me feel like our time is well spent. They help me be who I want to be and I do the same for them. If your friendships aren't like that, what are they worth?

You choose to be a loner loser everyday you choose to do something that doesn't involve things you're interested in or getting lost in your passions. Only you can fix that. Shroomerites annon can't, no person can't. You choose everyday what do with yourself.

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