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Community > Physical and Mental Well-Being
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Roomate fun
    #10926080 -

Sorry if the title is a bit misleading,

Right now I'm trying to understand what is going on with my friend Kelly.  Kelly has been my roommate for a year and a half roughly.  We've had our ups and downs, maybe mostly downs, but until now there had been at least an openness to conversation/interaction which now sees to have ended.  I currently live with Kelly and her boyfriend Mitch, and my girlfriend lives there unofficially. 

When we moved in there was a mutual understanding, which has not ever been questioned by anyone, that my gf would be defacto living at the house.  She doesn't pay rent, but I took a single person's bedroom, and they took the double.  She doesn't use hardly anything in terms of utilities, just showering and internet.  I have relinquished all control of the thermostat, although I don't know if Kelly and Mitch know that, because i thought it would be more fair to them to set the AC or heat at a level they want.  We also have a cat, and a couple reptiles, which are not technically allowed under the lease, and Kelly and Mitch have an iguana which is also not allowed under the lease.

Last year Kelly didn't have any complaints about the living situation, except for once when she told me that she didn't want the cat roaming the house while we were gone, and she wanted the place to be a little more clean.  I've been living with Mitch for almost three years and he has never complained about anything, and we have always been really good friends. 

Start reading here for the short situation:

Kelly had a party that I go to every year, and this year did not invite me or my girlfriend.  Over the summer, there seems to have been some sudden problem I don't know about that has led her to stop talking to me.  The circumstances above, I understand, might warrant this, but she has never communicated to me what is actually the problem.  We've never even fought over anything. 

I have to live with Kelly for another year, and I'm really anxious about how I should feel about being snubbed, and what the best course to take would be if I want to mend things with her.  Right now I'm just confused, but I refuse to turn my back on her because that's just not the kind of person I am.

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Re: Roomate fun [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #10926220 -

Not enough info to determine anything, except that you should ask her if there is a problem.


--------------------
rahz

comfort pleasure power love     truth awareness peace I am      I feel      I do     I love  I speak    I see    I know

why there is reality and patterned, law-like consistency at all, rather than noise or non-reality is not a question physics answers. It's a question physics presupposes an answer to in order to provide other answers.

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Re: Roomate fun [Re: Rahz]
    #10926233 -

Yeah, that's how I feel.

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Re: Roomate fun [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #10927252 -

yep if she wont communicate with you, not much you can or should do, other than ask if you are truly concerned and just continue to be the good roomate it sounds like you have been anyways.


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notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."

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Re: Roomate fun [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #10938277 -

I might be living with random roommates myself down the road, I guess I have shit like this to look forward to.

I just have to play devil's advocate here and ask a question about the living situation.  Are the three "official" roommates there all paying rent, while your girlfriend does not pay rent?  I understand you said you made some sacrifices, but how is it fair for four people to live in a house and the rent is split three ways?  If this is the case I could see some resentment from your roommate and her boyfriend.


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I spit reality, instead of what you usually learn
and I refuse to be concerned with condescending advice
cause I'm the only motherfucker that can change my life

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Re: Roomate fun [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #10940533 -

You leave the house a mess and have someone living there for free?  I'd probably be pissed at you too.

Have your girlfriend start paying rent and start being cleaner around the house.  Then you can start patching up the relationship.

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Re: Roomate fun [Re: Amber_Glow]
    #10941346 -

Agreeing with Amber_Glow and PowerTrip.  Make the rent split official and figure out the housekeeping issues.

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Re: Roomate fun [Re: urbanfarmer]
    #10995419 -

Do they pay 2/3 of the rent or 1/2 or what? Sounds like if you both are living 2 per room it should be split with maybe discount for larger room, etc.


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The DJ's took pills to stay awake and play for seven days.

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