I do opiates from a couple to half a dozen times a month. They make me weak, angry, impatient, clouded and unstable. The happy feeling of bliss is a lie, and im fucking done with it. Ive drank poppy tea 4 times in the past 3 weeks, and all i can think right now is how it makes me not me. I am unhappy as fuck right now with the way i have been acting and feeling during and in between tea. I was not a nice person today to anyone. I feel horrible for the way i handle situations while nodding. This is not something i am going to do anymore, because i hate the person i am when im fucked up on it. It's like alcohol in the way it makes you behave differently.
Im sticking to my wonderful weed that has never done me harm. I am happy with just smoking, so i think the booze and opiates are out the window now. Im fixing my shit, and getting rid of the shit. No more.
AGHHH i hate myself right now. I was mean as fuck today to someone that i love and needs me. He was having a rough day, and i was just impatient as fuck all day with him. This shit is discusting. Im done.
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