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Drug Use Guilt, Paranoia, or Evolution
    #10459214 -

So, after wanting to get my spiritual life back in track, I realize that upon this path I am taking, I have a hint of anxiety and paranoia.

I realize it's because my desires are inhibited and prohibited by the law. Shrooms, pot, etc. I feel a sense of guilt for using them because it detracts from my chi because there's always the thought of getting caught on the forefront of my mind.

And since part of my path is dealing with desirelessness, it's contradictive to still 'desire' inebriation. The paradoxical side, is that my psyche knows when I need an enthogenic experience, so it's hard to consider it desire.

At what point does a man determine if his demons are worth the consequences?

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Re: Drug Use Guilt, Paranoia, or Evolution [Re: Fraggin]
    #10459320 -

I think society recognizes your need and works on providing you with relief with legal substitutes that do not intefere with your ability to function. OK so alcohol is a time honored elective that is hard to uproot..ahem..

There are no demons, only conflict of interests.

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Re: Drug Use Guilt, Paranoia, or Evolution [Re: Fraggin]
    #10459412 -

Make sure you can't get caught and your problem's solved.  Moreover I think it's a bit silly to settle on a pedantic sense of desirelessness where you can't desire anything whatsoever; recognize that you're human and still feel desires but just try to minimize their power over your life.  You can't fully eliminate desire, but you can deal with its consequences and rationally mediate its impact on your life.


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We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

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Re: Drug Use Guilt, Paranoia, or Evolution [Re: deCypher]
    #10459456 -

deCypher said:
Make sure you can't get caught and your problem's solved. 



Thanks for your input.


Quote:
Moreover I think it's a bit silly to settle on a pedantic sense of desirelessness where I can't desire anything whatsoever; recognize that I'm human and still feel desires but just try to minimize their power over MY life.  I can't fully eliminate desire, but I can deal with its consequences and rationally mediate its impact on my life.


I not you

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Re: Drug Use Guilt, Paranoia, or Evolution [Re: Fraggin]
    #10459464 -

Are you implying you think it's possible for someone to completely eradicate desire, or was that just correcting my inconsistent grammar?  :lol:


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We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

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Re: Drug Use Guilt, Paranoia, or Evolution *DELETED* [Re: Fraggin]
    #10459466 -

Post deleted by rebus_minus

Reason for deletion: .

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Re: Drug Use Guilt, Paranoia, or Evolution [Re: rebus_minus]
    #10459580 -

This is exactly how rumors get started. If you read my post, it says.

And since part of my path is dealing with desirelessness, it's contradictive to still 'desire' inebriation.

What is possible within my reality may not be possible in yours.
And vica versa.

If you are talking about your perspective, use the term, I. It's just common courtesy of discussion.

I've been in this game before. I'm not new to it. But the fear of getting caught is now important enough for me to care.

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Re: Drug Use Guilt, Paranoia, or Evolution [Re: Fraggin]
    #10459624 -

You need to make sacrifices to the gods whom may assist you. If you don't have the means to provide the sacrifice then a court appointed sacrifice of your time will be administered. Don't adjust your set, this is a public service anouncement.

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Re: Drug Use Guilt, Paranoia, or Evolution [Re: Fraggin]
    #10459630 -

Fraggin said:
If you are talking about your perspective, use the term, I. It's just common courtesy of discussion.


I will continue to use the rhetorical you in discussion, thank you very much.  :snub:


--------------------
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

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Re: Drug Use Guilt, Paranoia, or Evolution [Re: Fraggin]
    #10459652 -

When a law restricts my personal freedom, it only makes me make sure to keep it out of sight from self righteous eyes of those who enforce it.


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LAGM v.2.024 Grow log

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Re: Drug Use Guilt, Paranoia, or Evolution [Re: Fraggin]
    #10459711 -

I'd say if you can fully recognize the "hand in the cookie jar" syndrome as social dogma, then you are in all the better shape for exploration!

Special (Watch instantly)


--------------------
Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
  The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
  The frumious Bandersnatch!

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Re: Drug Use Guilt, Paranoia, or Evolution [Re: daytripper23]
    #10459778 -

No Rebus, I wasn't offended, I just wanted things to stay on subject.

I'm ok with the fact that I will never achieve desirelessness. I'm merely dealing with the concept and embracing it. It's the best I can do right now until I'm advanced enough to starve myself to death while sitting in full lotus.

Thanks for the movie reccomendation daytripper.
And as for your advice, I whole heartedly agree.

I have a 5 year old and my wife is pregnant with a baby girl, so my do-good ego is kicking my spiritual side's ass at the moment.

I do agree that it's no business of the government's about what I decide to partake in providing I'm harming no one. But damn can they screw you for it.

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Re: Drug Use Guilt, Paranoia, or Evolution [Re: Fraggin]
    #10462284 -

I have the same dilemma quite often Fraggin. I have a desire to continue using entheogenic drugs but a part of me tells me I should quit and refocus on my Zen practice. I often think that when I was committed to sobriety and Zen that I was the happiest in my life, however now I feel less of a desire to commit myself to formal practice and have become less convinced that the Zen teachings have answers for me. This is due most likely to my present leaning toward nihilism. Using Cannabis inspired me to learn about Zen Buddhism so it sometimes seems odd for me to consider giving up the plant, and my experiences are generally positive when I choose to smoke. I especially enjoy the philosophical faculties that marijuana brings about in me.

Usually these internal debates end with me telling myself its summer, so why not enjoy it. :vaped:


--------------------
Try to realize it's all within yourself
No-one else can make you change

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Re: Drug Use Guilt, Paranoia, or Evolution [Re: godspeedyou]
    #10462595 -

It's other people that make life interesting or bearable and weed or other substances can be like an old friend comfortable enough to spend time alone with.

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Re: Drug Use Guilt, Paranoia, or Evolution [Re: Fraggin]
    #10463267 -

Quote:
At what point does a man determine if his demons are worth the consequences?


I :smile: realized two things.

1.The demons do not belong to me. They are not mine. When I stopped claiming ownership and imposing authority... they turned into angels that just have a different opinion.


2.Unwanted consequences come out of what I choose to perceive as mistakes. Realization :There are no mistakes.
Therefore.. the consequence is entirely my choice.. independent of the action preceding it.




Now.. the YOU part
example :

Quote:
If you are talking about your perspective, use the term, I. It's just common courtesy of discussion.


You attempt to impose your belief on the courtesy of discussion while running scared from the same projection coming your way from an external entity.


Your paranoia is more than evident from my perspective.
Get out of the loop.







--------------------



---------------------

All my posts in this forum are strictly fictional.
They are derived from an acute mental illness , from which i am forced to lie compulsively.
I have never induced any kind of mind altering substance in my life  and i have no intentions whatsoever of doing anything illegal.
If I have ever suggested such a thing it would have most likely been , due to my personality disorder and i probably do not remember it at all..

Edited by jivJaN (06/06/09 09:04 PM)

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Re: Drug Use Guilt, Paranoia, or Evolution [Re: Fraggin]
    #10464982 -

Something I find very fascinating about psychedelic drugs is that if I am abusing a drug or using a drug too often this fact becomes very obvious to me during my trip.

Rarely do I fear being caught by the police and if I do I take this as a sign that I'm not being careful enough. Fear of getting caught has never stopped me from enjoying my trips but it has made me careful of who I associate with and who knows about my drug use.

If you let them have this power over you, you let them win.

Drugs have done many good things for myself and many others and never will I allow the laws created by the wealthy and ignorant dictate what is good for me.

I am an intelligent man who is more than capable of deciding what I will or will not do with my body.

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