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 HappyTrippin
Instrument of Soul
Registered: 07/25/08
Posts: 9,786
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 Addiction? 
#8802862 - 08/20/08 08:58 PM (15 years, 7 months ago) |
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Is there any discrete way I can help for addictions?
I love what I do, I hate what I do.
I want to quit, i want more.
It's a horrible life.
I'm tired of being a junkie.
I pawned off a lot of cherished valuables for the poison that my veins consumed.
Looking back on it, I feel retarded, but that's because I dosed today and am not withdrawing.
Tomorrow and for the next weeks i'll be craving it.
It's seriously gonna interupt school and I dont want to fuck up AGAIN and be 20 when I graduate.
I feel a little bit responsible by asking this. But not responsible enough, and if i don't do something soon, i'm gonna brush it aside and continue with what I do.
It's how it always goes.
Cry a bit, want to quit, and inject the drugs.
I'm sorry for opening up so much.
Theres just really no one around this area that goes through the same thing i do, or at least have opened up to me about it.
It's really nerve wracking though.
Also. I've been reading up on HPPD
I have a lot of the symptoms.
I constantly see tracers, trails and colors always do cool things, sober or not. Everything gives off that foggy/static like feel. I've felt it for months.
God damn, looking back on all of this I feel stupid. Eating a sheet of bunk acid? God damn, even if the visuals weren't there, i bet I fried my mind doing that.
Is there any medications I could get to help with my persisting problems? I just want to succeed in school...
I bet tomorrow, my opinion will be totally different and i'll be staring the world with my blank stare thinking more of the tar.
Thanks for reading this, and thanks for any input, I really need help =/.
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I honor the place in you in which the entire universe dwells. I honor the place in you which is of love. of truth. of light, and of peace. When you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me. We are one.
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themange
Senior Citizen
Registered: 06/11/06
Posts: 2,809
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oh no. you are surely doomed.
edit:
Edited by themange (08/20/08 09:07 PM)
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HappyTrippin
Instrument of Soul
Registered: 07/25/08
Posts: 9,786
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Re: Addiction? [Re: themange]
#8802908 - 08/20/08 09:06 PM (15 years, 7 months ago) |
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Figured as much. 
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I honor the place in you in which the entire universe dwells. I honor the place in you which is of love. of truth. of light, and of peace. When you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me. We are one.
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 skin_
d^_^b
Registered: 03/08/08
Posts: 2,552
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 13 years, 6 months
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Re: Addiction? [Re: themange]
#8802912 - 08/20/08 09:07 PM (15 years, 7 months ago) |
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Sorry dude, I can't really offer you any advice as I've never been in that situation.
At least you want to stop, I guess that's the first step. I think you just need to stay with your will-power.
You'll get through it and you'll be proud of yousrelf for doing so.
I hope it works out.
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Robo
R Series 66Y
Registered: 05/08/07
Posts: 14,861
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Get out soon as possible.
This is an addiction that a lot of the time ends with death, be it by overdose or suicide from just not being able to cope any longer.....if the addiction escalates to an uncontrollable level. Hope you aren't at that level at the time being, if not there's time 
I say forget being too discrete, I wouldn't care, it's your life you're gambling with....seek help from friends or family, I think they'd understand if you have a problem like this and you truly want to be rid of it for good. Check into rehab, find a psychologist (hppd), do something, but don't keep going the way you're going.
And those things will help but in the end it's you that truly has to decide you want to commit and get off the drug and fix yourself. Opiate withdrawal is very bad but it will not kill you like some other stuff, just find professional help and work through it. It can be done. There's a light at the end of the tunnel 
Good luck .
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HappyTrippin
Instrument of Soul
Registered: 07/25/08
Posts: 9,786
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Re: Addiction? [Re: Robo]
#8802956 - 08/20/08 09:18 PM (15 years, 7 months ago) |
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Thanks guys.
I have a question for the possible hppd situation.
It seems like the numbers say i probably don't have it, but i've had the symptoms for months now, and my memory is horribly impaired. (that might be from all the tokin though. :P)
But, is there any way to fix my perception? I don't suppose theres some kind of drug that wont make me into a zombie, while fixing my problems?
I always say this. "I'm done messing with everything..." the next day. "i'm so god.....*nods*"
Haha.
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I honor the place in you in which the entire universe dwells. I honor the place in you which is of love. of truth. of light, and of peace. When you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me. We are one.
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themange
Senior Citizen
Registered: 06/11/06
Posts: 2,809
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Re: Addiction? [Re: skin_]
#8802968 - 08/20/08 09:20 PM (15 years, 7 months ago) |
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stop consuming drugs and do something.
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Robo
R Series 66Y
Registered: 05/08/07
Posts: 14,861
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I bet if you just got off all substance use for a while, you'd get your head straight again. Doing drugs while you are already having symptoms of supposed hppd (or whatever it may be) probably isn't the best idea.
Plus try excersing, and having a good diet, that stuff can help
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JT
Registered: 02/28/07
Posts: 7,027
Loc: athens 
Last seen: 4 years, 9 months
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watch tropic thunder. if jack black can do it, surely you can.
seriously though...mind over matter. fear is the mind killer.
Edited by justin_thyme (08/20/08 09:23 PM)
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MyRedrum
Easily Amused
Registered: 03/20/07
Posts: 332
Loc: Portland
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Quote:
"If you're going through hell, keep going."
-winston churchill
my only advice to you is to stay tough, and hang in there. this is a tremendous test of your willpower! stay postitive
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there's someone in my head, but it's not me
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learningtofly
Ancient Aliens
Registered: 05/21/07
Posts: 15,105
Loc: Out of this world
Last seen: 12 years, 8 months
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Quote:
HappyTrippin said:
Thanks guys.
I have a question for the possible hppd situation.
It seems like the numbers say i probably don't have it, but i've had the symptoms for months now, and my memory is horribly impaired. (that might be from all the tokin though. :P)
But, is there any way to fix my perception? I don't suppose theres some kind of drug that wont make me into a zombie, while fixing my problems?
I always say this. "I'm done messing with everything..." the next day. "i'm so god.....*nods*"
Haha.
there's no cure for HPPD, you can take stuff like Klonoplin to help cope with it.
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themange
Senior Citizen
Registered: 06/11/06
Posts: 2,809
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Quote:
learningtofly said:
there's no cure for HPPD, you can take stuff like Klonoplin to help cope with it.
doooooom
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Kickle
Wanderer
Registered: 12/16/06
Posts: 17,978
Last seen: 2 days, 20 hours
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Re: Addiction? [Re: MyRedrum]
#8803311 - 08/20/08 10:23 PM (15 years, 7 months ago) |
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If you're in college you might want to check your campus to see about free therapy or even just resources that are offered.
But, I'd recommend getting support from friends/family as well.
Best of luck, addiction can do some wicked things.
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Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction?
Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain
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watchoutnow
mind'sonrecord/itsbeingviewed
Registered: 04/13/07
Posts: 598
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
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Say I will not apologize and go forth with IT!!! COME ON LIQUID AIR INJECTIONS.
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I quit. Touch it.
"My views ain't changed to live humane wait" -Eminem
"Ya'll make me too rounded and I'm addicted, WTF I'm drunk. Wtf I'm high. Wtf I'm... Not sober... Sober block." -me crazily self.
"From that what, knowledge of self - determination!" -Blackstar
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Ever since I got braces shit gets stuck in my teeth.
Make me *** bitch!
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MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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You just have to quit. Be a soldier - push onward through the tough early days. Grit your teeth and just do it. Sobriety will do wonders for you. It's really a beautiful thing - your natural state of being.
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Shins
Fun guy
Registered: 09/15/04
Posts: 16,337
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Quit being so weak and use your will power. seriously. its the only way.
have some dignity and believe in yourself.
every time you get a craving, think of the consequences and how you feel afterwords, what it does to yourhealth, future etc.
think of it from a rational standpoint and weight all the reasons why you should not give in. and just stick to your guns man!!!
i wish you best of luck and the power to resist your addiction.
you CAN beat it you try.
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goop
Registered: 07/10/08
Posts: 595
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Re: Addiction? [Re: Shins]
#8803531 - 08/20/08 11:20 PM (15 years, 7 months ago) |
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I heard somewhere salvia can help.
Edit: It definitely helped me lower my mental addiction for weed by a huge amount.
Edited by goop (08/20/08 11:21 PM)
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marshalldylan1
Stranger
Registered: 11/09/06
Posts: 2,485
Last seen: 13 years, 2 months
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Re: Addiction? [Re: Shins]
#8803534 - 08/20/08 11:21 PM (15 years, 7 months ago) |
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God damn, the pub is turning into OTD. Some of the responses to this guys problem is just fucking mean man.
All the people saying to just quit, it tends to be tough when you are injecting heroin into your veins. Life after become addicted to opiates if the most depressing feeling you could ever imagine that seems like will never end.
Not to mention the terrible withdrawals you get.
To the OP, there are some medications you can take to help with your addiction. Have you ever heard of Suboxone? Here's some info on it
http://www.thatspoppycock.com/addiction/suboxone.htm
Check it out and see if its possible for you. It really helps a lot of people.
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HappyTrippin
Instrument of Soul
Registered: 07/25/08
Posts: 9,786
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I just want to say thanks again guys.
You guys gave me some great insight and I appreciate it.
I don't mind how my perception is really.
I just hate how cloudy my mind can be.
It's weird though, I don't want to consider detox or rehab because of those times when I feel so powerful and I can overcome the drugs.
Than that power begins to deteriorate after about a week.
Especially when I start to get sick.
Suboxone seems like a good choice, but I don't want a drug to combat with another drug.
Hypocritical thinking I guess, but i'm already doing enough drugs..
But i'll look into it, and maybe talk to my doctor about it.
I just want to be clean and lead a halfway normal life.
At least until im off probation, and than get back into being an occasional toker.
I had my fun.
I really think its time to grow up and start taking things more seriously.
Thanks again people
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I honor the place in you in which the entire universe dwells. I honor the place in you which is of love. of truth. of light, and of peace. When you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me. We are one.
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Sulli
Stranger
Registered: 01/31/07
Posts: 430
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
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Quote:
themange said:
oh no. you are surely doomed.
edit:
Yeah your way out there buddy, weak...
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