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InvisibleThin White Duke
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Social Anxiety
    #7855584 - 01/09/08 07:28 PM (16 years, 23 days ago)

I believe that I may have this. I was reading through the 'symptoms' and these in particular struck me:

Quote:

For sufferers of SA, everyday tasks which most people take for granted - working, socialising, shopping, speaking on the telephone, can be a wearing ordeal marked by persistent feelings of anxiety and self-consciousness.

Sufferers typically experience feelings of dread and nervousness in the build up to the feared situation, and analyse or 'replay' the situation in their mind when it's over, ruminating on how they could have 'performed' better.





I hate talking on the phone. In fact it's a reason why I'm still unemployed. There have been plenty of jobs I've been interested in but which have required a phone call, and I just can't bring myself to do it.

Also the 'dread and nervousness'. This happens every time I go out. I really start to worry and get the butterflies in my stomach. I mean, for fuck sake, I'm getting a haircut tomorrow and I'm fucking worried about it.


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Offlinejenns_hot
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Re: Social Anxiety [Re: Thin White Duke]
    #7855626 - 01/09/08 07:34 PM (16 years, 23 days ago)

if you spend so much time on the shroomery, you probably do


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"Fear makes the wolf look bigger"


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OfflineTangerines
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Re: Social Anxiety [Re: Thin White Duke]
    #7855714 - 01/09/08 07:44 PM (16 years, 23 days ago)

I am in somewhat the same boat. I either have total social anxiety or complete lack of to the point where I really do not even care who I am talking to. Most of the time it is the first and it sucks. I do not really have any advice though.


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Invisibleappleorange
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Re: Social Anxiety [Re: Tangerines]
    #7856109 - 01/09/08 09:00 PM (16 years, 23 days ago)

Phumneiz,

This is a topic really close to my heart and something I've been battling for years.

The fact that you recognize you have it, is a great step in the right direction. Whenever I caught myself being shy around people I just blew it off as me having nothing in common with them, but that was just me being in denial or ignorant. Coming to terms with it and accepting it is a wonderful start.

I'll send you a pm.

Much Love,
appleorange


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InvisiblePenguarky Tunguin
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Re: Social Anxiety [Re: Thin White Duke]
    #7856187 - 01/09/08 09:19 PM (16 years, 23 days ago)

Quote:

Phumfeinz said:
I believe that I may have this. I was reading through the 'symptoms' and these in particular struck me:

Quote:

For sufferers of SA, everyday tasks which most people take for granted - working, socialising, shopping, speaking on the telephone, can be a wearing ordeal marked by persistent feelings of anxiety and self-consciousness.

Sufferers typically experience feelings of dread and nervousness in the build up to the feared situation, and analyse or 'replay' the situation in their mind when it's over, ruminating on how they could have 'performed' better.





I hate talking on the phone. In fact it's a reason why I'm still unemployed. There have been plenty of jobs I've been interested in but which have required a phone call, and I just can't bring myself to do it.

Also the 'dread and nervousness'. This happens every time I go out. I really start to worry and get the butterflies in my stomach. I mean, for fuck sake, I'm getting a haircut tomorrow and I'm fucking worried about it.




I used to be like this and you know how I solved it? I stopped giving a fuck. It's literally that easy. Just stop caring about what people think or do or act or live. Whatever you're nervous about, there's a pretty good chance there's no reason for having it.

Does your problem stem from the idea that you are giving people their own opinions about yourself?

If so, stop.


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Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.


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Offlinefelix4life
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Re: Social Anxiety [Re: Penguarky Tunguin]
    #7856759 - 01/09/08 10:55 PM (16 years, 23 days ago)

Do new things that give you a different glimpse then your norm like try exercising, biking, hiking etc.

Hanging around this community will certainly help in many ways:
http://online.stresscenter.com/oc/login.php?ON_COMPLETION_URL=http%3A%2F%2Fbbs.stresscenter.com%3A80%2Fgroupee%3Fs%3D664104622


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InvisibleWhiskeyClone
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Re: Social Anxiety [Re: Thin White Duke]
    #7857984 - 01/10/08 07:38 AM (16 years, 22 days ago)

I have those symptoms too, but it's not nearly as bad as it once was. I used to be scared to order a pizza! Seriously that's retarded.

What helps most is to just dive into it without giving yourself any time to start thinking about it. Just dial. Better to flounder like a tongue-tied idiot than miss out on life. Once you make a couple of phone calls this way, it becomes way easier.

The important part is to push your limits constantly. They expand without too much force.

They also shrink a little whenever you chicken out.


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Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

:heartpump:


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OfflineJoseLibrado
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Re: Social Anxiety [Re: WhiskeyClone]
    #7858635 - 01/10/08 10:45 AM (16 years, 22 days ago)

Social anxiety is not actually anything.

The reason anyone feels anxiety, nervousness, fear around other people is because of a belief about themselves and their relation to others..
This belief, is a complex neurological wave of energy that begins a whole other set of chemical reactions known as nervousness, emptiness, and fear.

The belief i think is that a person can have more or less worth than another. This belief being an outcome of the way we have been taught about life and ourselves, in reltion to the aspect of life, known as Other PEOPLE.

This idea is why we get so nervous when we are out in public. It creates the question; what is my worth as bobby or josh and what does it make me? This question lingers in our psyche causing alot of distress and breaks apart the foundation through which we do anything around others.

From this comes other questions that cause anxiety, like i want to know who i am now and i want to get out of this situation, but how?

The problem with this nervous feeling, is the belief that the feeling comes from being in a social situation.

Actually, the feeling comes from what you know that situation will offer you in terms of feelings.

Example/ you may be feeling more nervous and fearfull when you are doing a presentation in front of a bunch of people with opinions about people, than you do when you are with a few close friends. And although it seems like the first is what causes you to feel nervous because the other u dont feel nervous, it really is a matter of what potential things you know will be there for you to experience in that situation, during that situation. Example of this would be knowing that potentially you could piss someone off, offend somone, or even being nervous about being nervous in that situation.

This is why this label of social anxiety comes into play...ignorance that social situations cause anxiety and nervousness, scrath the thoughts in the mind.

Really then no one person can logically be "social Anxious" unless you are a corporation that stands to gain lots of cash from people who believe they are and who believe that this SA concept, is a natural occurence that can only be changed by some Xanax, crack-of-an as-ax hahahahah.


I personally suffer from being nervous about being nervous around people. Fearing that i will fear for my self worth. Fearing that i will have this question of what is my self worth? Pop up in my head.

In this i see that i am mistaken. I am mistaken because when i fear something will happen to me, like nervous feelings, i say to myself that i have no control over how i feel.

This is simply not so. Our thought directly correlate how we feel, as much as our experiences in the present and of the past and future do. Ie/ micheal jordan wont be nervous shooting a free throw in front of a bunch of people, because he is certain they will still think he is a good BALL player even if he missed and because he knows he prolly wont miss.

Just imagine, if you KNEW that you could please every single person you will ever meet to the point that they are satisfied, WOuld you ever feel any type of nervous feeling around the prospect of being around people?

Yet i tell you something you may find comforting...

If you could please everybody in the world - then you would never know what it is like to please a person...

Why this is contradictory tho jose. Your an idiot to think that if you always pleased every person, that your would not know what it was like to please someone...for fuck sakes, you pleased everyone!!!!

Good question buddy.

But lets take a look at logic for a sex...i mean,...k im a bit hungry for love right now. Anyways back to ti ti ti...TOPIC not TITS topic....yes. Back to topic.

So the reason the sentence " If you always pleased everyone in the world, you would never know and feel what it was like to please to cause good to someone" doesnt contradict itself, is because concepts that are good or bad, like angel and asshole, exist always simoultanously...ying and yang..

This is IFFY, but take another look at how you know what it is to please someone and ask "well, why is this 'pleasing someone' and this 'pissing someone off".

Really all you will be doing is relating experiences to others...ie/ when i did this for my mom it made her happy, when i did this she got mad.

Here its a matter of feelings and how they guide you.

What the moral of the STORY then?

You simply cant please everyone, if you would like to experience what it is to make someone happy! YOu have to make someone angry pissed off at you, if you are to experience the wonder of making someone smile.

In SHORT!!!



--------------------
The mind is a creative tool. It searches to protect you, through message sensations(feelings). It is no different than a computer, you need to make sure its anti-virus program is in check and that it doesnt have a script that limits your experience, because of to much precaution.

And remember the computer does not appear to respond to words of anger and frustration - just give it input, in the form of new meanings that you know to be true and its messages to you and the limits it lays out for you, will change.

Guilt is an outcome of believing you are the cause of the problems.

Yet, we are not a cause to something, we see is negative or bad - Unless you believe your intentions are directed towards a bad outcome....


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InvisibleThin White Duke
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Re: Social Anxiety [Re: JoseLibrado]
    #7858805 - 01/10/08 11:19 AM (16 years, 22 days ago)

It wasn't actually so bad once I got out.

Kinda felt my stomach leap when I went into the hairdressers and it was full of teenage girls :wink:


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OfflineJoseLibrado
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Registered: 04/21/07
Posts: 569
Last seen: 15 years, 6 months
Re: Social Anxiety [Re: Thin White Duke]
    #7860646 - 01/10/08 05:09 PM (16 years, 22 days ago)

That was your solar plexus energy getting excited. Look up the concept Chakras, on google, you might be pleasently surprised.:heart:


--------------------
The mind is a creative tool. It searches to protect you, through message sensations(feelings). It is no different than a computer, you need to make sure its anti-virus program is in check and that it doesnt have a script that limits your experience, because of to much precaution.

And remember the computer does not appear to respond to words of anger and frustration - just give it input, in the form of new meanings that you know to be true and its messages to you and the limits it lays out for you, will change.

Guilt is an outcome of believing you are the cause of the problems.

Yet, we are not a cause to something, we see is negative or bad - Unless you believe your intentions are directed towards a bad outcome....


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Offlineart
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Registered: 06/15/05
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Re: Social Anxiety [Re: JoseLibrado]
    #7860877 - 01/10/08 06:21 PM (16 years, 22 days ago)

I have some social anxiety too. I have a stutter so I know what you mean by hating to talk on the phone. I have also not got a haircut in 5 years.
but anyways, you just need to force yourself to do certain things. Take some acting classes, or find activities that make you uncomfortable and just do it. Eventually you start to learn to cope with it. I don't believe that it is as easy as just not caring, or anything like that.
I don't think that people with social anxiety ever get over it, but you can learn to work with it.


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OfflineSampaJasli
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Re: Social Anxiety [Re: art]
    #7861115 - 01/10/08 07:11 PM (16 years, 22 days ago)

you can learn to not care about what other people think
but for people with social anxiety it's a slow and gradual process
you have to start with little, insignificant things and work your way up as you become more comfortable.
try saying something to a cashier as you pay for something
or say hi to a bus driver
make eye contact with each person you walk by, even if for a split second
anything at all to get the process started, and then you just put yourself in even more social situations, until you start to realize that no one really pays attention to you in the way that you do to yourself, and that they arent waiting for you misstep so they can laugh or insult you./

I also hate talking on phones,
I dont own a cell phone and rarely answer the phone unless I recognize the caller ID. I also get nervous calling businesses and strangers, it sucks, but im getting over it slowly


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Offlineart
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Re: Social Anxiety [Re: SampaJasli]
    #7862045 - 01/10/08 09:45 PM (16 years, 22 days ago)

it sounds to me like it is a matter of semantics more than anything, but I think caring what people think of you has something to do with social anxiety but certainly not all of it. I really dislike going into the city or places with lots of people because of the commotion, etc. not because I feel like anyone is judging me, but either way practice practice practice.


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Invisiblemushbaby
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Re: Social Anxiety [Re: art]
    #7865002 - 01/11/08 01:15 PM (16 years, 21 days ago)

When I am working regularly it doesn't bother me. I am out in the public and don't think a thing about it.

When I don't have a job and am staying home all the time, I get that way. I don't like going out in public or talking to people.

Also, this might not be your case Phum, but smoking pot can cause alot of social anxiety too. That paranoia can be a bitch.

Staying home all the time will only make it worse. Push yourself to make those calls. You'll be glad you did.


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